CHAPTER 29
Reed
I sat through two hours of monotonous conversations with my phone burning in my pocket until I couldn’t take it anymore and texted her.
Throughout dinner, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. About how I’d much rather be spending my time with her. About how I ached to hold her again, to bring her comfort like I did on the plane.
Lila said she was going to bed early ahead of her presentation tomorrow, so I wasn’t expecting a reply. What I was expecting was for common sense to knock me over because flirting with my former intern over text is probably a death sentence waiting to happen.
That didn’t stop me from leaving my colleagues at the hotel’s restaurant without a solid explanation and knocking at her door as soon as she texted me back. And it sure doesn’t stop me from appreciating the smooth skin of her bare legs in those sinful shorts when she opens the door now.
“Hey, angel.” The nickname slips out before I can stop myself.
Her smirk is nothing short of taunting. “Was the emergency that you were bored?”
The emergency was that I couldn’t go another second without being near you.
“Sure was.”
Lila opens the door wider. “Come on in, then. Let me entertain you with the last steps of my skin-care routine.”
I shut the door behind me before following her to the bathroom. “A great Friday night plan, if you ask me.”
She throws me a glare over her shoulder. “Don’t sass me, or I won’t let you watch.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I put my hands up in surrender as I take a seat on the edge of the tub, behind the vanity, where all sorts of different face creams and serums are sprawled out in some kind of order I don’t understand. “Watching you is my favorite activity.”
She smirks, looking at me through the mirror. “Watching me do what, exactly?”
“Anything.”
“I need you to elaborate.”
“Not happening.”
She shakes her head. “Coward.”
If you only knew.
Lila shifts her attention to her serums. As I watch her, I wish I’d be brave enough to tell her how mesmerizing her every move is. How being around her has become my favorite thing. How we could watch paint dry together, and I wouldn’t get bored.
That thought alone scares me to death.
After what my parents put me through, I promised myself I would live my life relationship-free, without committing to or attaching myself to anyone. I’ve had my fair share of hookups over the years and even some attempts at a few relationships after college that didn’t last long because I couldn’t take the pressure of being someone else’s rock. But every time I convince myself to pull away, she smiles at me, and I come undone again.
She fills the silence between us. “You’re quiet.”
I rest my elbows on my knees. “It’s been a long day.”
“You can go back to your room if you’re tired,” she offers, spraying her face with some kind of mist. “You also have your presentation tomorrow.”
“I’m not worried about it.”
My answer gets me a playful roll of her eyes. “Must be nice, knowing people will be in awe of you no matter what you do or say.”
“It’s not like that.” She sends me a pointed look. “All right, it may be a bit like that. I’ve worked my ass off for it, though.”
“That’s true.” Her ponytail comes undone next, and she grabs a hairbrush. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
She bites the side of her cheek, unsure, as she starts brushing her hair. “Was it hard, going to college and graduating all by yourself? You said you never got adopted, right?”
Her question takes me aback, but I find it surprisingly easy to answer.
“I was able to afford it with grants, but since I also had to cover off-campus housing—just a small studio—I had to find a job pretty early on,” I tell her. Nobody knows this about me aside from Liam, Warren, and Haniyah, I realize. “I worked at a car repair shop part-time and bartended on the weekends.
“I’m sure you know how it goes, but because Haniyah had been my social worker, it was frowned upon to be so involved in a past case’s life. But she helped me as much as she could behind the scenes—she found several grants for me, helped me apply, and her husband owned the car shop I worked at.” I shift on the edge of the tub. “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for her. She’s like a mother to me.”
Lila’s smile is compassionate. “That was very generous of her. And I’m glad she’s always been in your life despite the circumstances that got her there.”
My mind takes me back to the first day I met Haniyah, less than twenty-four hours after my parents were taken away by the authorities. I remember her calming voice, her reassuring smile, that weird gut feeling telling me I could trust her.
And it’s that same gut feeling that makes me stand from the edge of the tub and close the distance between Lila and me. The warmth of her body beckons mine, but I stop myself before I do something we wouldn’t come back from.
Instead, I hold out my hand. “Can I?”
She frowns, confused. “You want to brush my hair?”
My fingers graze hers as I grab her brush. “I’ll settle for brushing your hair.”
As I’m careful to not hurt her when I find any knots, I realize I don’t have a fucking clue why I’m doing this in the first place—all I know is that taking care of her like this feels right. That I’m tired of fighting my instincts.
She glances at my reflection in the mirror, her eyes glinting with interest. “Settle? What does that mean?”
My hand brushes the side of her neck.
“It means I want to do more, but I won’t.”
Our eyes lock in the mirror, invisible strings pulling us closer.
“Maybe I don’t want you to settle for just brushing my hair.”
I take a step closer. One more, and I would be pressed against her. One more, and she’d feel exactly what being near her does to me.
“We said it couldn’t happen again,” I remind her.
“We’re acknowledging that night, I see.”
I brush the last few strands of her hair and set the brush on the marble counter. Instead of stepping back, I place my hands on both sides of her, caging her in. In the mirror, her cheeks have acquired that cherry-red color I love so damn much.
“That night was a mistake,” I say.
“I know.”
Neither of us sounds like we believe it.
“It would be irresponsible if it happened again,” I add, my voice low.
Lila presses her back to my front, my hardness digging into her lower back. “Absolutely.”
“Lila,” I grit out, my hand settling on her hip. “It’s not a good idea.”
“You’re right,” she whispers. “It’s a terrible one.”
When she presses against me a little harder, the fleeting grip I have on my sanity snaps once again.
I flip her around, grab her hips, and lift her up until she’s sitting on the vanity. Pressing my forehead against hers, my voice comes out rough when I whisper, “You want to do this? Then let’s fucking do this. Tell me what you need, angel, and it’s yours.”
Breathing heavily, she licks her lips. “Touch me, Reed.”
Fucking hell.
“Where?” One of my hands lands on her bare thigh, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “Here?”
She shakes her head, looking up at me with a mixture of lust and innocence that drives me insane.
“Guide my hand where you want it.”
Electricity seeps into my skin when she touches me. Slowly, she guides my hand to her warm core, right above the flimsy fabric of her sleep shorts. She lets out a small, breathy whine as she presses my hand to her center. “Right here.”
I shut my eyes, not moving an inch. “Lila.”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me to stop,” I grit out, a desperate plea for her to do what I can’t.
“No.” I feel her cupping my cheek, her thumb playing with my lower lip. “I need you, Reed. I need you so badly, it hurts.”
“Not fair.” I bite her thumb—softly, not to hurt her. “You know I can’t say no to you.”
“Then don’t.”
But I still don’t move. Her thumb on my lips, my hand between her legs, and I don’t move.
Closing the slim distance between us, she pecks my lips. A brief, sweet kiss that makes my head spin.
And when she whispers, “I want to feel you stretching me out,” I fucking lose it.
I take her mouth with my mine, finally breathing her in again. She wraps her arms around my neck, then her legs, urging me to get closer, to take her, to make her mine. But I won’t—not like she’s begging me to. Not yet.
I find the hem of her shorts and pull them down her legs, her panties coming off with them. Her T-shirt is so big it covers the lower area of her body, and I slowly inch closer until my thumb is pressed to her wet core, which elicits a whimper from the woman in my arms.
“You’re soaked,” I rasp out, moving my thumb in circles. She’s panting, breathless, unable to answer with actual words. “How many times have you been this wet for me, sweetheart?”
When she whines again, I press my thumb a little harder until she gives me the answer I’m looking for. “Too many,” she admits. “I touch myself thinking of you.”
My cock hardens behind my zipper. “Fucking hell, Lila.”
“What? Like you don’t?”
I shut my eyes, collecting her wetness. “More times than I can fucking count.”
Breathless, she says, “I feel so empty, Reed. I need your fingers inside me.”
Those words alone are enough to almost make me come undone.
I’m not ready for her tightness as I try to push my middle finger inside of her and find resistance. “ Hell ,” I grunt.
She shifts on the counter. “S-Sorry. It’s been a while.”
“Don’t apologize. Never for this.” I press my lips to her forehead. “I’ll go slow. I’ve got you.”
The reminder that someone else has been inside her before me is enough to make the most possessive, primal part of me erupt. I push a little farther, careful not to hurt her.
“No one else gets to touch you like this anymore,” I grunt. “No one but me. Understood?”
She nods, breathless. “Only you, Reed.”
“That’s my girl.”
With one final push, I bury my middle finger inside her and see fucking heaven.
She throws her head back with a moan as I ease my finger in and out of her while my thumb keeps circling her sensitive core, stretching her out like she asked me to. Like I’ve been dying to do for longer than I’m brave enough to admit.
Lila grinds herself on my hand, testing my willpower. The urge to throw her over my shoulder, toss her onto the bed, and take her raw is so intense that I’m blinded for a moment.
She whines my name, tells me to go faster, and I obey. For her, I’d do anything—even erase the forbidden line between us for good.
“That’s it, angel. Ride my hand,” I praise her. “You’re so tight, I don’t think I could fit another finger inside you.”
“T-Try.”
Gently, I ease another finger into her heat. My lips find the delicate slope of her neck, kissing my way up to her earlobe. “You all right?”
A soft moan escapes her when she nods. “Never been better.”
Her wetness coats my fingers, and I’ve never felt anything hotter. “You feel so good, Lila. Better than I’d imagined.”
“You’ve imagined us together?”
“Every goddamn night.”
She tightens around me, and I know she’s close. I kiss her neck again, biting softly on her skin as I pump my fingers faster, deeper.
“Let go, beautiful,” I command. “Come on my fingers.”
Lila shatters around me, coming undone with a loud moan she muffles against my neck. She clings to me, and I hug her closer as she rides the last waves of her orgasm.
“Reed,” she breathes out.
“I’ve got you.” She spasms around me again as I ease my fingers out of her. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“I don’t want you to regret this,” she blurts out, ignoring my questions. “I don’t want you to regret me.”
When we pull away, I’m met with the most breathtaking view I’ve ever set my eyes on.
Flushed cheeks. Labored breaths. Parted lips. Shiny eyes. Ruffled hair.
“You’re the most perfect woman I’ve ever met, inside and out.” I cradle her face in my hand and press my lips to her forehead. “Nothing and no one could ever make me regret you, Lila.”
Because I love you.
The sudden realization hits me out of the blue, pressing down on my chest, and it won’t let me breathe.
I pull away under her vulnerable stare, ignoring the tightness in my heart. “Get some rest, yeah? Tomorrow’s a big day.”
“But what about—”
“Don’t worry about me.” I don’t make a move to adjust the obvious bulge she’s eyeing right now.
“It’s not fair,” she mumbles, sliding off the vanity.
I keep a hand on her arm just in case. The bathroom counter is too high, and she isn’t exactly on the tall spectrum. Once she’s safely on the ground, I take a step back. “Text me if you need anything before your presentation tomorrow. I’ll be up early.”
“Way to change the subject.”
“I’m not—”
“You’ve just given me the most intense orgasm of my life, and you’re telling me I can’t return the favor?”
My cock twitches. She arches an eyebrow at me when she notices.
“Tonight isn’t about me.” I risk my sanity again by giving her another forehead kiss. “See you tomorrow.”
“I’m mad at you,” she says, opening the door for me.
I can’t help a smirk, knowing she isn’t. “All right. Sleep well.”
I step toward the end of the hallway in the direction of my room when Lila grabs my hand and stops me in my tracks.
I turn just in time to sense her soft lips on my cheek. Her kiss is short, the damn sweetest thing I’ve ever felt. When she pulls away, the intensity in her gaze traps me. And I can tell her next words are true.
“I could never regret you either, Reed.”