Ten
Kai
There's nothing I hate more than being tickled.
I think it stems back to when I was a kid at a sleepover with my friend Alex.
His older brother used to tease and tickle us, and he was relentless.
He was a couple of years older and much stronger.
He would hold me down and tickle me. He said he loved to hear me laugh, and one night, during a particular sleepover, he and Alex held me down and tickled me.
I screamed for them to stop, but I was laughing so hard my stomach was cramping.
Then I wet myself. It was mortifying. Ever since, I hated being tickled in fear of a repeat in pissing my pants.
So, when Shaun had the playful look in his eye and his fingers began wiggling in my direction, I knew he was going to try to tickle me.
It was fight or flight mode, and I decided to take flight.
I ran to hide in the bedroom, which was my first mistake.
When I was blocked by the bed, I felt like a dumb blonde in a horror flick that runs up the stairs instead of out the front door.
Turning around to look for another escape, my chest collides with Shaun's.
Our bodies pressing together causes heat to course through me.
He instinctively wrapped me in his arms to prevent us from falling, but then, with his hands on my lower back, he pulled me closer, and I felt my dick harden.
Oh, god. It's been too long since I've had sex.
I press against him and feel his hard length pressing against me, too.
He wants this as badly as I do.
Shaun's eyes are the color of a storm, and I want nothing more than for him to rain down his wrath on me. I only hope he's not gentle like a spring rain. I want him to use me. I want him to mark me and make me feel him for days to come.
Looking into his eyes, I'm too worked up to talk, but somehow I manage a simple, "Please." It comes out soft and breathy.
"I got you, baby."
"Yes." I don't know what I’m agreeing to, but whatever he’s offering, I’m willing to accept. Yes, I'll be your baby. Yes, I want you to fuck me. Yes, take care of me. Yes, to all of it.
"Arms up." He tells me, and I comply instinctively. He lifts my t-shirt over my head and tosses it on the floor.
I mimic the move and remove his shirt next.
The fabric flutters to the ground on top of mine.
Something inside of me loves seeing our clothes mingling on the floor together.
Before long, we're standing face to face, semi-nude in only our underwear.
So much left unsaid in his gaze. The moment feels heavy.
"You're beautiful." He tells me with a soft smile. "I've always thought so."
"I never thought we would get…you know…here," I tell him before looking away. His intense stare starting to feel overwhelming.
"Kai." The use of my name pulls me to look at him. "I have wanted you since the day we met at the center. You were so young that I wanted you to have the chance to explore who you would become. I didn't want you to ever feel tied down."
"You were also busy," I tell him, voice barely a whisper as I reach out for his hand to make some kind of connection.
Shaun shakes his head. "No. It was an excuse. Mostly. I was busy with my internship and stuff, but I could have made an effort to try. I was just scared. Scared of offering you something I couldn't fulfill. Afraid that I was going to hold you back from wanting to go to Berkeley
"What are you saying?" I ask, not knowing where this is leading.
"Kai. I like you. A lot. Always have. If we continue down this path, it could get complicated. Not just with the case, either. I'm not a casual guy. I don't like sharing. There are things you need to know before we go down," he points to our near-nakedness, "this road."
"Then tell me. You know I won't judge you."
Shaun steps back from me and grabs his discarded pants and slips them on. My stomach twists.
What. The. Fuck
I was moments away from feeling him in all the ways I've dreamed. Even when I played with other guys, I dreamt of Shaun holding me. Fingering me. Fucking me.
The look of anguish on his face is sending me mixed messages. What is happening right now?
"We need to take a break." His voice coming out more businesslike.
"What the actual fuck, Shaun?" My breathing is labored, and my anger is unexpected. Consent is important and I try to tame my libido. "Is this some kind of game to you?" Taming my temper is another thing entirely, apparently.
Before exiting the bedroom, Shaun turns to look at me.
His brows knit in the middle like he’s confused at my outburst. "What are you talking about?
Of course, this isn't a game. I just meant…
oh, shit…Kai, no. Not a break like that.
I'm not leaving. I just meant we needed to take a break from that," he points over to where I'm standing near the bed.
"We need to talk before jumping right into bed. "
Oh, well, that makes more sense, and now I feel silly for overreacting. And the Oscar for best performing actress in a naked-drama series goes to...me.
I reach down and slip my pajama pants on and follow him out to the living room.
We sit down on the couch facing each other, and he begins telling me what he's looking for.
Fine. We're looking for the same thing in the long term.
I'm also not into casual hook-ups. I used to be, but they always left me feeling sort of empty.
"Before we have sex, we need to discuss limits.
Typically, I would print out a checklist for partners to fill out, but it always feels like a business transaction.
I want us to be more than that. I think we're mature enough to discuss boundaries and limits.
For instance, blood and extreme pain are hard limits for both of us.
I don't want to see you in any pain, and I definitely don't like receiving it.
Not to yuck someone else's yum, it's just not for me.
Also, I'm a doctor, so I'm more about healing and nurturing. "
I nod my head. "I am not into pain play either, so we're both good on that front. I am okay with light spanking, but not to the point where my ass is on fire."
Shaun lets out an unexpected laugh, and I giggle along with him. "What about you? Hard limits?"
"I'm going to say bodily fluids in general. Just seems so unsanitary," I admit, and Shaun raises a brow. "What?" I ask curiously.
"Would that include not wetting your diaper?"
"Who says I wear diapers?" Shaun's face falls, and I swear that's disappointment I see. Does he want me to wear a diaper? Only one way to find out. "Is wearing a diaper something you want me to do?"
"Only if you want to." He says earnestly.
"Since I typically regress to a toddler and sometimes even deeper, diapers are okay with me. As long as you don't mind if I have an accident while playing or sleeping. I often get lost in the headspace."
"I enjoy taking care of you, and if that means getting you all cleaned up, then that's just part of Dada's job." He gives me a wide smile. Yep, he wants me to wet my diaper. Noted.
I feel my cheeks heat up.
"What are some things you're into?" I inquire. I want to make sure he feels good, too. I mean, we are both part of the kink community after all, and most of us have several kinks that go along with age play. "Any other kinks?"
"I know we aren't into pain play, but I have to admit I love seeing my mark on my partner. It's a way I feel like I claimed you as mine. Whether it be sucking a hickie into your skin or a bite mark." His gray-blue eyes blow into that storm cloud again, like he's ready to bite me and claim me.
"Claim me? What are you, a werewolf?" I tease.
"Yes. Just don't tell anyone."
"Your secret's safe with me. And yes. You can claim me." And I meant it. "Just not visible, so I can be professional in front of the judge. I don't want my character questioned in the courtroom."
"Understandable."
We spend the next few minutes discussing our limits, aligning ourselves with what we are willing to do or not do. My stomach flutters because I've been keeping a secret, not wanting to scare him.
"Um, there is something I enjoy. At least, I think I might enjoy. I haven't done it before fully; I've only done it a little. There's this thing…I sometimes–"
"Kai." Shaun's voice is deeper than usual, and the timber causes me to jerk my head his way. Where did that sound come from, and can he use it again? Preferably while we are naked. "Just tell me what it is and I will let you know if it's an issue."
I take a deep breath before blurting, "I like to be restrained."
Shaun blinks a few times before responding. "Like…bondage?"
I nod.
"Words, baby boy."
"Yes. Like I said. I haven't done it extensively, just experimented with it.
During sex, I have tried to restrain my hands myself.
None of my other partners were willing to try it.
" I tell him with sadness in my voice. Not that there have been many partners.
I'm not sure if Shaun is open to trying it.
"It's not a deal breaker either way. Just an interest."
"Absolutely not. Don't back away from something you're interested in.
It's not a limit for me; I have never done it, so I want to make sure to research it properly.
Your safety is everything to me. Speaking of safety, do you have a safe word?
Typically, I use the traffic light system.
" He tells me, and I roll my eyes. "What? "
"Nothing. It's fine. It's quite generic, but it is a universal system designed to ensure safety. I just think we can get more creative. It just needs to be a word that we would never use during sex. Like…I don't know… g randma." I say with a giggle.
"Oh yeah, that's sure to kill the mood instantly.
The last thing I want to think about during sex is my grandparents.
What would that even sound like? Ouch, that hurts, Grandma!
Fuck no!" He says with laughter, joining my now hysterical giggling.
"How about potted plants ? Unless we're having sex in the garden, it won't be an issue. " He smirks.
"A safe word needs to be one word, not two." I deadpan, derailing his idea of potted plants and trying to get this runaway train back on track.
Over the next few minutes, we threw out all sorts of words that could work, until finally I put an end to our rather hilarious list, which included a variety of vegetables that weren't entirely off the table as sex toys in a pinch, as well as capital cities and unique animal breeds.
"Okay, how about we use the traffic light system for now?
" I roll my eyes at my earlier complaint of the generic system, but realize why it's a sound system to have in place.
"Agree. We will use the traffic light system until one of us comes up with a better word to use. Green means we're good to go," Shaun says.
"Yellow, slow down, and let's discuss this," I add. "Red means stop. The lights are for both of us to ensure we are both comfortable and safe."
"Kai. I want you to know that I don't take this lightly, and I'm going to make mistakes. But I know we can work through it. It will be a learning curve for both of us, and it's meant to be an enjoyable experience. Just keep an open mind and communicate with me."
"I agree. The same goes for you." Shaun nods, and I feel like we have come to a precipice. Looks like we're doing this. Taking our reunion to a new level.
Are we ready to take this jump?