Chapter Twenty-Two
Sheona
Two days had passed, and Sheona was beginning to feel comfortable at the nunnery. Brynja and Hildi were wonderful friends and extremely patient with her. She’d learned to throw the spear farther each day.
And she loved her new hairstyle. It gave her confidence—it made her feel like a different person.
She wondered what her sire would think of her hair.
She wasn’t particularly fond of their time in the chapel as she found it boring. And she hadn’t quite decided how she felt about God. She believed in God, but she didn’t believe He was paying much attention to her. So then, why pray if He ignored her prayers?
But she decided to make the most of the sennight she was here.
When they exited morning prayer, Hildi said, “Come. We’re going to visit Ionaland. Ada said we have vegetables for them, and we’ll see what they have to share with us.”
“Do you like Ionaland?” Sheona wondered if the two Norse lasses preferred to stay at the nunnery.
Brynja replied quickly, “It’s my favorite place of all. I love the bairns. You’ll see.”
They set off for their destination down the isle a ways, not too far, but enough to give them time to chat.
“Why do you like it there?” Sheona asked.
Brynja said, “I love the wee ones. Magni is my favorite.”
“Magni? He is friends with my nephew, Rowan. Do you suppose he’ll stay there forever?”
“Aye, they found his parents, and they decided to live there. They adopted Tenney too. He’s adorable.”
Brynja added, “I like it best when Simone is there. I love to talk with Simone and Beatris. They are both married, and I’ve learned much from them about men.”
“What kind of things?”
Hildi whispered, “The kind of things the nuns won’t mention. The things men do to women.” Then she giggled. “Do you know of what we speak?”
Sheona nodded. “I’ve heard of it. I heard it is verra painful for women.”
Brynja moved closer to Sheona. “That’s what we thought. Our mothers warned us of men who take lasses and force themselves on them. Said it’s horrible, but Simone says it shouldn’t be. She said it’s a crime called rape when that happens.”
Sheona was more confused than ever from that explanation. She needed to speak with someone. After all, Marta had bairns and wanted another. Why hadn’t she asked her sister about it?
They were nearly there, the sack of vegetables they each carried on their backs growing heavy. She could tell by how their trek slowed compared to how they started, but Sheona was hopeful they would see this woman called Simone. She needed to talk to Simone.
“Brynja!” a lad called out and raced toward them as they approached the small group of cottages near the shoreline. A wee lad toddled along behind the older boy.
“Greetings to you, Magni. We brought a friend, Sheona.”
“Greetings, Sheona. I’ve seen you before. Where?” The lad with the head of dark, tousled curls stared up at her.
“I’m from Clan Rankin. Rowan is my nephew.”
“He was kidnapped with me once. When Meg saved us.”
“He was, but he’s afraid to leave now. He prefers to stay at home.”
Magni scowled. “Me too. I stay here on Ionaland where it’s safest. God lives over there in the chapel and with the monks, so no evil men will steal us away.”
A long-legged woman followed them out, her hair sleekly tied at the crown, hanging like the tail of a pony down her back. “Greetings, Brynja and Hildi. Who have you brought with you?”
Magni moved to pick up Tenney and brought him to the group. “This is my new brother, Tenney. We stay here now with my mama and papa. I like it here.”
“Manners, Magni.” Simone nodded to Sheona.
“She’s Rowan’s auntie. What was your name again?” he asked, tipping his head at her.
“Sheona. It’s a pleasure to meet you both.” Then she giggled because Tenney reached for her, so she picked him up and he gave her a kiss on her cheek. “Are you not sweet?”
“He’s my brother forever.”
“Magni, let’s help them carry the vegetables. I smell cabbage. And we have treats for you to return to the nuns. A bottle of wine and a hunk of smoked pork sent over from the MacLeans on the mainland. And some carrots from a ship that passed by.”
“We have parsnips along with the cabbage,” Sheona explained, slipping the sack from her back to her shoulder.
“Come join us for some warm broth,” Simone said.
Sheona had a sudden urge to ask questions. “I would love to talk with you a bit, if I may be so forward, Simone.” Blushing at her own boldness, she prayed she wouldn’t reject her request.
“I’d be happy to get to know you better, Sheona. Come, help us bring the vegetables inside the storage hut, and then we can take a walk down to the beach. It’s beautiful this time of year.”
Sheona nodded and gulped at her courage.
She would not lose it; she would ask Simone what to do in her circumstance.
The three days had convinced her of one thing: She was not interested in being forced into a marriage she didn’t want.
The nuns would not be able to advise her, but perhaps Simone had some ideas.
As Sheona followed her to the storage hut, Simone called out to Beatris, who was surrounded by a group of bairns of various ages in a grassy area where they ran freely. Two other women there waved to them, so Simone returned the wave.
She had no idea they existed on this isle. Brynja said, “We’ll wait for you before we return, Sheona. Enjoy the beach.”
Simone led her along a path that took them to an isolated stretch of sand that seemed to be from a different world. Once they were far enough away, Simone said, “You are from Clan Rankin. Are you interested in taking your vows as a nun?”
Simone guided Sheona to a large rock and then sat down, pointing for Sheona to sit next to her. “Tell me all. I see you are carrying much on your shoulders. I will keep your confidence. I live on Iona with my husband, and we see verra few people. I love it here. You can trust me, Sheona.”
For some reason, Sheona did trust this woman, and it all tumbled out.
“I don’t know what to do. My sire wished to force me to marry someone from the neighboring clan, but I am not interested in marrying him any more than he wishes to marry me.
Papa said if I didn’t marry him, then I had to take my vows as a nun, but I have no desire to do that either because it’s boring sitting in the chapel for so long, and oh, what shall I do? I—”
“Take a breath, lassie,” Simone said, cocooning her hand in hers. “You’ll figure it out. Tell me about the man your sire wishes for you to marry.”
She breathed in deeply, the hope inside her ready to burst out simply because the idea of Simone helping her understand everything was more than she could have dreamed of.
“His name is Taskill, and I’ve known him all my life and we get along fine, but I’m not ready to marry.
I may never wish to marry. It isn’t that I dislike Taskill. I just don’t wish to be a wife.”
“Don’t you have a sister? Rowan’s mother?”
She nodded, doing her best to keep the tears locked inside before they drowned out her words. She needed to get them out, try her best to explain what she didn’t understand. But how could she if she didn’t understand it? “Marta is my sister, and I adore her.”
“But you didn’t talk to her about this? Or to your mother?”
“Mama passed a year ago. I did try with Marta, but she has the new bairn and she was trying to feed her and the bairn started to cry and Marta is so tired from not sleeping …”
Simone gave a pronounced nod. “Now I understand. New bairns are all-consuming for everyone. And you have one brother or two?”
“Two.” Then Sheona stopped abruptly, thinking about how her sire had disowned Rinaldo for all the trouble he’d caused.
Did that mean she’d never had him as a brother?
“Or one. My sire found out Rinaldo wanted to hurt Sloan and had killed his betrothed a while ago, so he disowned him before he killed him for his crimes.”
Simone grew wide-eyed. “I recall something about that. I’m sure that was difficult for your clan.” She leaned down, resting her arms on her knees to think. “So, Rinaldo didn’t like Sloan, who is chieftain. How did you get along with Rinaldo?”
Sheona’s face fell and she stared at her feet, blushing. “All right. He was always different. He had a way of making everyone think he was innocent, yet I saw him for who he truly was.”
Simone arched a brow at her.
“He was mean to me when my parents weren’t looking. He liked to poke me or my sister, take our things, slap us when no one was aware of what he was doing.”
“Sounds like he carried a need to be mean,” she said. Simone took her hand again and asked, “Did your brother abuse you? That’s not so unusual.”
Sheona shook her head furiously.
“Did he touch you in ways you didn’t like?”
She denied it vigorously again, wondering how to explain exactly what had happened. “Could you explain something to me? I was told that the act … the marriage act … is verra painful. Why do women marry, then?”
“Because they told you wrong. With the right person, the marriage bed is an act of love. It’s an act where each participant shows the other one how much they love them, and from that love comes pleasure, not pain.
Now, when forced onto someone who doesn’t want it, it’s extremely painful. It’s called rape.”
She scowled, trying to fit Simone’s words into what she’d learned about the act, but she couldn’t. “I think I should go.” She stood and turned away from Simone.
“Wait, Sheona, please. Why don’t you tell me exactly what you were told and by whom? Or tell me how you learned what you did.”
Stopping to think, Sheona played with the hairs that had come loose from her braid, wondering how to explain exactly what had happened, but then she rejected it.
It would be easier if she said nothing at all.
“My thanks, but I have to go.”