Chapter 41 Arwyn
ARWYN
Iexisted in pain. I was pain.
Fire scorched through my shattered bones, a river of hellfire in my veins and vessels.
It was relentless. In those few moments of consciousness, I chose to keep my eyes closed.
At the crux of the decision was my need to pretend—something I’d been doing my entire life.
Pretend I was dead, pretend I no longer needed to live through suffering.
Voices floated around me. I knew I recognised them, but I couldn’t dare reply. My tongue was fat in my mouth, my throat swollen closed. The few times I opened my mouth it was to howl as my stinging became something more, a feeling I couldn’t put into words or dare describe.
Soft hands brushed down the side of my warm face. I groaned into it, knowing exactly who touched me without needing sight. I smelled Hector’s flesh, knew the print of his fingers and the soft pad of his palm.
“If you even think about giving up.” Hector’s voice broke. “I’ll find you and… and… I need you. To fight… to—I just need you, Arwyn. Please, come back.”
There was so much I wanted to tell him, but I could not attempt to reply. It was safer here, in the dark where I endured amongst the agony. After all, this was what I wanted. Wasn’t it?
I awarded myself this reality and refused to give it up yet.
“Arwyn,” Hector whispered into my ear, delicate lips brushing my damp skin. “If you die, I’ll find a way to kill you all over again. Do you hear me?”
Yes, my love. I hear you even when the darkness overwhelms me. Even when the light betrays me. I hear you, I see you, I feel you…
So much to say, and still my lips refused to move and my eyes were forged shut.
In my mind, I smiled. Perhaps my body didn’t respond like that, but I couldn’t help but glow internally at his threat. Beneath it, was love. I felt it in his tender touch, his ever presence beside me, and the emotional weight of every word he spoke.
“I love you,” Hector whispered.
For just a moment, my suffering was blanketed.
Three words, that was all it took to smother every feeling inside my ruined body.
Somewhere beyond the prison of my torn flesh and broken bone, I was aware that I replied.
I felt my chapped lips shift, my lungs aching as I took in enough air to offer Hector the same three words he’d gifted me.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
A cool splash of someone’s tear crashed against my cheek. Maybe it was Hector who cried, or it could’ve been me. I was so distracted by the theory that I almost missed when Hector offered me a final parting plea.
“If that’s true, Arwyn Hopkin. If you love me… fight the pain and come back to me.”