Chapter 16 Hanne #4
“Yes.” He comforted me, but he refused to do it with lies.
“But they may not come at all. We may hide in the dark long enough for them to give up and return to their camp. We put out the fire without creating smoke, so they won’t be able to smell it in the air.
They have no boats, so they’ll have to swim in the dark all the way here.
It’s not impossible—they’re strong—but it’s unlikely. ”
My fears were entirely selfish, because there was one person I cared about more than anyone else. “I just got you.” I grabbed his hand and placed it over my heart before I cradled it with both of my hands, letting him feel my heart race in fright. “I can’t lose you.”
He let his hand rest on my chest, his eyes looking down at me with only a hint of sympathy. “I’ve fought them before. The war with the Knives will probably claim my life someday, but I don’t think it will be now. That is not what worries me.”
“Then what does worry you?” I asked.
He held my gaze for a moment before he glanced around the Gathering, realizing that it’d been vacated by everyone. “I worry they’ll realize we’re somewhere on the lake…and they’ll return with their entire army to annihilate us.”
My heart dropped like a stone, and my hands flinched as I held on to his.
“I hope they did follow Caius. I hope they do come here. Because we need to kill them all before they can return to Wraith and tell him exactly where we are. He’ll march with all his forces and finish what he started.”
It wasn’t important, but I asked anyway. “Wraith?”
“The Sharpest Blade of the Knives.”
I swallowed and felt my hands grow weak and release his hold. “Then maybe we should flee to Stonework.”
“It’s too dangerous to leave right now, not when we don’t know whether they found our location or are still searching in the dark. We can’t make a rash decision out of fear and compromise our position unnecessarily.”
How was he so calm in all this? “Then what do we do?”
“We wait,” he said. “If they don’t attack within three days, they’ve either lost our trail or they’ve returned to Wraith to report our position.
Then we’ll have to make a decision, to preemptively leave and avoid a possible attack, or hold our position and hope for the best. Let’s get through the next three days first before we consider those options. ”
“How the fuck are you so calm right now?”
His eyes remained steady as they locked on my face.
“Because I can’t stop shaking.” I looked at my hands and watched them tremble beyond my control.
He grabbed both of my hands with his and brought them together, cocooning them in his hold. “Because you’re scared—and I am not.”
“How are you not scared?” I looked into those earth-toned eyes and saw a foundation harder than the earth, confidence higher than the biggest mountain.
He was quiet as he tried to find the answer.
“Because it’s always been this way. There are moments of peace between chaos, but they’re brief and quickly forgotten when the bloodshed returns.
But for me, I never forget the bloodshed.
I’m always waiting for it. I’ve known since birth exactly how I will die—and it’ll be at the hands of Wraith or one of his Knives. Acceptance takes away fear.”
I started to breathe hard when I digested his words. “Please don’t say that to me.” A man I’d known so briefly had become my whole world. Had become my blue sky in this dark cavern.
“My world changed when you fell from the sky into my heart.”
My eyes started to ache as they produced tears.
“I’ve existed but never lived—until you.” His big hands engulfed mine. “The only life I fear for is yours. I will protect it to the best of my ability, forfeit mine to spare yours if need be. You’ve described the sun to me, and I see it every time I look at your face.”
The tears started to streak down my cheeks.
“You’ve given me hope that I’d long forgotten.
You make me believe we’ll find a way to defeat these fiends that have taken so much from us.
I feel no fear because I will eviscerate every single Knife that comes for us.
I will not let them take this new hope that burns in my soul.
The anger and vengeance within me are the sharpest blade and the strongest armor I could wear.
I still feel no fear—but the reason I cease to feel it has changed. ”
My hands left his and cupped his face. I rose on my tiptoes to kiss him, felt him bend his knees so he could accept my kiss. He circled my body with his arms and pulled me close, his hand cradling the back of my head.
When the kiss ended, he rested his forehead against mine. “I will stand on guard with the others. I need you to hide with the women.”
“I’m not going to leave you.”
“I speak to you as your chief, not your lover, not your friend.” He pulled away and stepped back. “Do as I say.”
I entered the Hall of Elders with the other women, everyone scared for what was to come. We all crammed together in the entryway and the common room where I’d spoken with Morco’s mother.
Allegra came to my side as we entered the common room, where the fires burned to create light. “Do you think they’ll come?”
I wouldn’t tell anyone what Morco had said, that an attack was the best outcome for us.
She would panic just as I’d been panicking since he’d shared his thoughts.
With no experience in battle, I didn’t know a good general when I saw one, but Morco seemed to have a brilliant mind for war.
It would explain why they’d survived so long with almost nothing. “I don’t know.”
“It’s a long journey over the water,” she said. “Unless they build a boat, I don’t see how they would make it. They’re so heavy.”
“Have you faced them yourself?”
“No,” she said. “But I’ve been close to them. Watched them kill both of my parents.”
“I’m sorry.” I pitied myself for losing my mother in childbirth, but that wasn’t nearly as brutal as being murdered. And my father lived a rich life before he died—a life longer than it seemed the Obsidians did. The self-pity was unnecessary.
“Don’t be,” she said. “It’s pretty similar to everyone’s story.”
We stood there for a while, everyone crammed together, to wait until Morco said it was safe for us to leave. They kept the doors open so the air could come in and keep us cool since the fire continued to burn.
I spotted Morco’s mother, sitting with other elders who also had no eyes. They spoke to one another without facing one another since they couldn’t hold eye contact.
People sat and stood for hours, snacking on dried meat and sipping from their water canteens.
Conversations were quiet, like everyone was too stressed to discuss anything.
I sat with my arms around my knees, wondering how Morco was feeling at that moment, carrying the weight of his people on his shoulders alone.
“Shut the doors!” one of the guards ordered the others who were supposed to guard the entrance in case the enemy made it inside.
“What’s happening?” Allegra jumped to her feet.
I did the same, feeling my heart drop into my stomach.
Noises broke out in the crowd, gasps and little screams.
They shut the door and locked it, and the gasps turned quiet in a silent terror.
I turned to look at Morco’s mother.
Her hands were tightly together, and her head was bowed, like she was afraid. But my limited time with her told me she wasn’t afraid for herself or even her people—only her son. I crossed the room and moved to her, kneeling down before taking her hand in mine.
She squeezed it back without knowing who I was, just grateful for the comfort.
“I’m scared too.”
Her chin lifted slightly to look at me, an action she still committed even though she’d lost her sight some time ago. “Hanne.”
“Yes.”
She squeezed my hand harder. “I thought you would be with him.”
“I wanted to, but he ordered me to come here.”
She gave a slight nod and then a deep breath. “The bow you made. Will it be used?”
“No. Morco didn’t want to have his men use a weapon they were unfamiliar with.”
She was quiet, continuing to look at me with her sockets. “Do you know how to use it, Hanne?” Her voice had been weak in fear a moment ago, but now it strengthened.
I’d never fired a bow myself, but I understood the mechanics. “Yes.”
She squeezed my hand before she let me go. “Then use it.”