Chapter 6 Declan #2
Azula rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue. As if being in the same room together is an insult to her intelligence. I feel Aidan stiffen next to me at the clear disrespect. To Zahra’s credit, she does give Azula a small glare, who looks down ever so slightly at the reprimand.
“I’m concerned about both things, Mr. McAlister, and how they influence each other. Someone attempting to murder us in broad daylight indicates we’re being underestimated. They don’t view us as a real threat. And that is a huge problem, because the second you’re not seen as a threat…”
“You’re a target that ends up dead,” I summarize.
“Precisely.” She glances at Aidan to see if he has any additional protests. He doesn’t.
“So what are you proposing? Another lunch?” Returning to the same restaurant would be risky given the clear lack of security and ease of our enemies entering without notice, but it would also be a clear way of demonstrating how unfazed we are.
Or really how unphased Zahra is. I, on the other hand, am more than fine never eating at The Black Rose again.
Their filet mignon was superb; I’d given them that. But nothing worth dying over.
“I was thinking more like dinner. With December around the corner, it's the perfect time to revive my father’s charity banquet. We’ll invite all the made men as my father did in the past, allies and enemies alike, as well as all the state and local politicians.
” Zahra’s attention is aimed at Azula now, who’s typing away at her phone, likely already sending out invitations.
A second later, my phone dings, and a save-the-date has landed in my inbox.
Naser’s charity gala was an annual spectacle he’d hosted for decades.
In many ways, it was another way he and my father had demonstrated their power.
Hosting an event where mafia leaders, politicians, and their families were all in attendance, acting civilized would seem impossible to anyone who hadn’t had the pleasure of being in the same room with Naser.
But his charm, grace, and underlying threatening presence was unmatched.
No one wanted to push him far enough and face his wrath.
The respect and fear he elicited from others was something to aspire to. Something I have no doubts Zahra would easily achieve, and surpass, in her lifetime. “Having everyone who wants you dead in the same room is a bold choice.”
“One we can hopefully use to our advantage. I’ll contact my staff to ensure additional security precautions are implemented at my father’s— at my manor.” Zahra’s matter-of-fact tone is in stark contrast to the slight shake of her hands as she clenches her hands into fists at her side.
Watching her briefly change from a cold-hearted mob boss to a child who had just lost her beloved father is difficult.
It feels like looking in a mirror. The pit in my stomach returns full force.
There’s nothing I could do to erase the pain of losing our fathers, but at the very least, I could be there for her.
I could confide my own pain and be a source of refuge for her.
There were very few people in the world who fully understood the mix of anxiety, thrill, sorrow, and distrust that comes with being a boss.
To be responsible for so many people’s lives and well-being, all while yours was constantly being threatened.
To never be able to go to sleep fully at peace because you know you could wake up with a barrel pointing at your head or a knife to your throat.
If you’re lucky enough to wake up at all.
Despite all the lies, backstabbing, and treachery that happened in our line of work, our fathers had still managed to find each other.
Two men who were as honest as they could be and were fiercely loyal to those they loved.
Though Zahra and I barely know each other, I want her to know that I intend to uphold the same level of loyalty to her as my father did to Naser.
How I could get her to trust me was a different story.
Zahra is clearly incredibly intelligent, likely the smartest person in every room she walks into, which means her walls are not only up but likely made of steel and nearly impenetrable.
Words alone would not be sufficient to gain her true support.
Her true allyship. She would honor any established deals between our two mobs out of loyalty and respect for her father, but I didn’t want her to work with me because of duty.
I want her to work with me because she knows she can trust me.
“So I finally get to party at Naser’s Northshore Mansion? Nice,” Aidan cuts through the silence, but the lighthearted comment lands with no one.
“Actually, I was thinking about the Manor in Maine. It’s more spacious, and hasn’t really been open to strangers before,” Zahra says.
The pit in my stomach turns into a sinkhole, and my throat tightens as a rush of guilt and shame fills me. I can’t go back to that place. Every single inch of it will serve as a memory of my failure.
“Is that a problem, Declan?” Zahra’s deep brown eyes bore into me as if she can read my mind.
I try to force words out of my mouth but all that comes out is a choking noise.
To her credit, she doesn’t look at me with pity or disgust. Zahra just stands there, patiently, as I take a moment to compose myself.
Aidan clears his throat, getting ready to speak for me, but I raise a hand to stop him.
I didn’t need a mouthpiece. Maybe my openness and slight moment of vulnerability would show Zahra that she could confide in me.
Or maybe she would just view me as a weak man unfit for my role.
No. She won’t. I barely knew this woman, yet something in me felt like she would understand me.
That she wouldn’t judge me for grieving because she likely knew exactly what was going on inside my head right now.
“I was in the Maine Manor, picking up a shipment, when I got a call that our fathers were targeted,” I manage to spit out before my throat constricts again and my heart pounds so hard I swear it's about to fall out of my chest.
“You were in Maine?” Zahra’s voice has a sharp edge that makes me flinch. My mind finishes the rest of her question, ‘You were in Maine while our fathers were bleeding out?’
“I drove down as fast as I could to help. We got them into your medical wing immediately but…the damage had already been done.”
Zahra’s eyes close, her body visibly shaking, and I feel compelled to comfort her. I’m halfway across the floor when she releases a deep breath and opens her eyes. “Azula and I will look into banquet halls in the city. A place where neither of us has any ties to.”
I take a step back, wanting to give her some space but also remain close enough in case she decides to take my unspoken offer of comfort. She doesn’t.
“I’m late for my next meeting. Azula will show you both out.
You can let her know if you need anything else from me,” Zahra says tersely, sliding out through the back door of the gym before I can stop her.
Before I can tell her I understand. Instead, I just stand there barely paying attention to Aidan and Azula exchanging niceties, wondering if the blood on my hands will ever disappear or continue to stain everyone around me.