Chapter 10 Declan
DECLAN
Good news, bad news.
The bad news is that Zahra definitely hates me.
Why, I have no idea. The good news is—it’s possible that she hates the world right now, not just me per se, which I can’t blame her for.
The world was a dumpster fire on a normal day, not to mention the fact that she had recently lost Naser…
I can’t blame her for being angry at everything and everyone.
I try to remind myself of my true intentions for today, to let my guard down in front of her and show her that I’m more than a business ally.
I’m a friend. Or, at least, I want to be.
Taking a walk in her father’s garden was my first attempt at showing her that, to assuage the ongoing guilt and nightmares I’d been experiencing, and instead to remind myself of all the happy moments I’d spent with my father and Naser.
Admittedly, I couldn’t take credit for this idea.
Maura had found me wide awake in the kitchen at three am two nights ago.
From the hollow look in her eyes, I suspected she had also been kept up by her own dreams. We both gave each other a sympathetic smile while I made us a warm cup of tea.
Maura rarely divulged the details of her life to us, but that night she let me see a part of her I never knew.
She told me about a love so bright and glamorous that it was all she could have ever hoped for as a young girl.
Until it wasn’t. Until she spent every night wondering whether the blows she received that night would be verbal or physical.
With two young kids in tow, she felt trapped.
Especially back then, when a woman wasn’t even allowed a credit card in her own name.
So she stayed. She stayed until a new neighbor moved in next door.
A woman who showed her kindness she’d never known before.
A woman who helped her escape and remained one of her best friends to this day.
Over the years, Maura had so many good memories that the past faded away like an old photograph.
But some nights her memories came back. And in those moments, she poured herself a cup of tea and replayed all the happier days in her head.
Over and over again, until she could breathe.
So she could feel free again. At the end of our heart-to-heart, Maura had given me a homework assignment—to fight off my guilt by remembering all the good moments.
To not let one of the worst days of my life taint the better days to come.
I promised her that I would try. And here I was, trying.
“Have the roses bloomed yet?” A neutral question. One that should be safe enough. I brace for impact, but it never comes.
“They have. If we walk a little further, you’ll be able to start smelling them.” Zahra nods her head forward, encouraging me to take the lead. Maybe so she can stick a knife in your back. The cynical voice in my head makes its presence known.
A few feet later, my nose is filled with the sweet and slightly spicy aroma of the expansive array of red, pink, and cream roses covering the bushes in front of me.
I nearly jump at the feel of Zahra’s arm brushing against mine, not expecting her to come so close to me.
The scent of roses is complemented by her perfume, a soft combination of vanilla and cardamom.
Absolutely intoxicating. My hand twitches closer to hers, as if there’s a magnetic force between us that I can’t help but be drawn too.
A pull tugging at me so deeply, it almost hurts when I shove my hands back into my pockets.
“Roses were always my father’s favorite.
He loved their beauty. Their variety. But most of all, he loved their hidden artillery.
How something so delicate could also cause an immense amount of pain.
” Zahra reaches over, carefully inspecting a blood red rose before plucking it from the bush.
She adjusts her fingers slightly, ensuring none of the thorns come close to her soft fingers, before extending the flower out to me.
The corners of my lips rise. It isn’t exactly an olive branch, but from her, it may as well be. Bringing the flower to my nose, I inhale.
“The water lilies were always my favorite, especially at night when your father would turn the lights in the pond on,” I confide. “It felt like something out of a Disney movie….Why are you looking at me like that?” I laugh at her incredulous expression.
Zahra’s eyes were naturally large, but now they’d widened so much they looked almost cartoonish. “The big bad mafia boss likes Disney?”
Is this…friendly banter? “I mean, I wasn’t always a mafia boss. Every kid goes through a Disney phase. You’re going to tell me you didn’t?”
“Nope. I was more of a Cartoon Network kid.” She shrugs.
“Well, that explains it,” I tease.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I catch a slight twinge upward in her lips.
“I mean, everyone knows Cartoon Network was for the kids who had issues. Loners. Rebels. Unhinged all around.”
“You got all of that from me watching cartoons?” She cocks an eyebrow, placing a hand on her hip, drawing my attention to her lush curves.
Until now, I haven’t let myself fully admire how truly stunning she is.
From her naturally wide, deep brown eyes, the plump shape of her lips, and the soft curves of her body.
My hands twitch in my pockets, wanting to run my fingers through the thick waves of her jet-black hair.
What the hell is wrong with me? I’m acting like a teenage boy who had never seen a woman before, and not a boss who’s used to having models throw themselves at me.
It’s clear Zahra’s beauty, much like her wit, is a weapon she could wield expertly if needed.
And if she impacts me this much without even trying, I have no doubts she could easily have me wrapped around her finger if she really tried.
She leans in slightly, cocking her head as she waits for my response. Shit. What had she said? What were we even talking about? Did she notice me ogling her? If she did, I’m sure I would have already had my balls on a stick. Hopefully, she just thinks making a witty comeback is difficult for me.
I clear my throat. “I’m incredibly perceptive. Plus, isn’t it part of the job to be able to read people?” Perceptive was certainly one of saying, ‘For some reason, I can’t seem to get you out of my head.’
“Hmm, I suppose you’re right. Well, in that case, given your strong attachment to Disney movies—”
“Hold on, I never said I was attached—” I correct.
“I would assume that you spent your childhood living by the rules, well, living by mob rules at least, and doing everything your father asked of you.”
Unsurprisingly, she nails me immediately.
“You’re telling me you didn’t do the same?”
“Nope. I suppose you were right in that I was a little rebel. I nearly cost a three-million-dollar deal between my father and the Portuguese when I was seven.” She laughs as if people hadn’t been killed for ruining much smaller agreements.
“When you were seven? How did you even manage that?”
“My dad had promised me all week we would get out and grab ice cream after school to celebrate me winning the spelling bee. He canceled on me two days before, promising to make it up to me. I was pissed because I really wanted my triple cookie dough chocolate sundae with hot fudge, so I hacked into his computer, found the contact information of their boss’s assistant, and sent a…
somewhat aggressive request that we reschedule the meeting to a later date. ” She pauses, waiting for my response.
My mouth falls open. “Holy shit. Are you being serious?”
“Yup. I thought I’d gotten away with it too.
I’d never considered that my father would get a very outraged phone call from Rinaldo, the Portuguese boss at the time, asking why their meeting they’d been trying to set up for weeks got delayed again.
Especially since Rinaldo had large suspicions that he had some traitors in his ranks and wanted to use our spyware to confirm.
My father was obviously confused, so he checked his calendar and saw that their meeting had been moved…
and our ice cream date rescheduled.” She gives me a sheepish look.
“I guess I wasn’t well-versed in covering my tracks back then. ”
“What did Naser do?” I can count on one hand the times I’ve seen Zahra’s father truly pissed off, and each instance was terrifying.
She snorts, a shameless smile on her face.
“I was an awful liar back then, so all he had to do was ask me if I had hacked into his laptop, and he could see my guilt on my face. His face went blank for what felt like an eternity, but the next thing I knew, he threw me into his arms and told me how proud he was of me. He asked me how long it took to crack through his password and firewalls. I told him ten minutes and I swear his eyes filled with tears of joy. He took me out to get ice cream every day the week after. And also enrolled me in a computer science class.”
My heart squeezes. Everything about that memory was just so…
Naser. The love he had for his family, the pride in his voice that was always present whenever he spoke to me, how brilliant Zahra was.
Standing in the garden with her now, I understand fully why Naser went to such great lengths to keep her identity hidden for all these years.
“So that’s why your father shipped you away when you were younger? Protecting the child prodigy?” I guess. Every made man knew how crucial it was to keep your best assets protected.