Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Blair
I hurried back to my dorm in Enzo’s pajamas, my bare feet hitting the floor.
I wasn’t sure what time it was, but people were already heading to class. I upped my pace, wondering if Daphne had already left for the morning.
When I walked in, I found Daphne at the vanity.
Enzo told me not to say anything to anyone about Brooks, but can I hide this from Daphne?
She was about the only person I felt comfortable talking to anymore.
Is that breaking Fawn rules?
It seemed like everything was breaking Fawn rules.
She turned in her stool to look at me, mascara wand in hand. “Girl, it’s about time you got here. I missed you last night.” She waggled the wand at me. “Everything okay?”
I nodded, shutting the door behind me, and sounded out of breath. “Yeah.”
She motioned toward my body. “I like the outfit choice.”
I pulled at the edge of Enzo’s pajama shirt. “Enzo’s.”
“Figured since you’d left with him last night. Did you sleep in your Fawn room?”
I shook my head, walking toward her. “How’d you know about those?”
“Clarissa stayed in the Fawn Quarters sometimes.” She capped the mascara. “She’d hang out with other Fawns there.”
“I’ve only been there once, but I didn’t see any other Fawns.”
In that area, I’d felt so alone.
Like I was a lonely fawn, lost in the woods, who had no one. If there were other Fawns, why wasn’t Enzo introducing me to them?
I sat on the edge of her bed, staring up at her. “I stayed in Enzo’s room.”
“Holy shit!” Her eyes widened. “Clarissa definitely never stayed in Enzo’s bedroom. I don’t think she even knew where it was.”
“Really?”
“Told you,” she said, singing the words and swaying her shoulders. “He’s being different with you than he was with her.” She smirked while sliding a lip gloss wand over her lips. “Blair may be the Fawn who changes Enzo Marchetti.” A dramatic sigh left her. “Who would’ve thought?”
Not only did I definitely not want to talk about that, but all that kept playing in my mind was a bloody Brooks storming inside Enzo’s room.
“What happened with you and Brooks was crazy,” I commented, trying to casually lean into the conversation.
“Brooks is an asshole.” She dropped her lip gloss into the vanity drawer and slammed it shut. “Always has been. Always will be.”
“Whenever I saw him on TV, he seemed like the total opposite.”
“That’s politics, baby.” She stretched her legs to push the stool out from under the vanity and stood. “That’s how so many of us here at Saint Vale are. Growing up, we have this image we have to fit in. We fake it because that’s what’s always expected of us.”
I ran a hand through the knots in my hair. “Do you fake it?”
“Not as much as I used to. After my father was arrested, I started being myself more. I no longer had anyone to impress.”
“Why do you and Brooks hate each other so much?”
“We’ve never exactly liked each other, but after the whole assassination thing—which, who can control what their parents do?
—he pretty much wanted to kill me himself.
But he also thought that Adelina would write me off, and he’d never have to see me again.
I don’t know if seeing me is a reminder of what happened to his father because he was there, standing right beside him, or if he’s just an asshole.
But I always tell myself it’s just because he’s an asshole.
” She shrugged, walking toward the closet to pull a blazer off the hanger and slip it on over her button-up.
The blazer had the school crest on the left pocket, just like our shirts. Which reminded me to make sure I wore Enzo’s black shirt today. The other day, when I’d opened my closet, I’d found a few more that were now in my size.
She snapped her fingers, breaking me out of my wandering thoughts. “Come on, babes. You’d better get ready. You’re going to be late for class.”
I nodded and groaned while bringing myself to my feet. My legs still felt a little weak after everything.
While I showered, I thought about Enzo. Even with the risk of being late for class, I couldn’t stop myself from dropping my hand between my legs to feel how sensitive I was there.
I slid my finger through the slit, seeing if I could collect any of his cum, and brought the tip to my lips.
I was no longer a virgin.
I’d literally given my soul to the devil.
I shut my eyes, remembering how my father would accuse me of being sent by the Devil to ruin people.
He was wrong.
So very wrong.
I had been sent to the devil.
Enzo didn’t attend American Gothic Lit, and I didn't see him the rest of the day.
For the next class, Headmaster Arisono alerted everyone that classes would be held outside until she said otherwise.
Something about a gas leak and us needing fresh air.
Even Professor Nelson looked confused about the sudden change of classroom plans.
We sat outside, on the grass, as Arisono made sure no one went inside the university. She even had lunch delivered outside in plastic bags. I heard plenty of disgruntled grumbles about that.
Deep in my gut, I had a feeling that whatever had happened with Brooks was connected with us being banned from going inside.
As I sat outside on a blanket, with the sun peeking through the clouds, I admired the beauty of the campus.
Each building had character with thick stone and carvings. The ivy crawling over the walls looked like one more barrier keeping us from the outside world.
When I did try to listen to the professor, I struggled. I stared at the blank screen of my new MacBook, only thinking of Enzo.
My thoughts wouldn’t stop drifting to earlier—when I had been in his bed, wriggling beneath the weight of him, practically suffocating from a pleasure that I’d never felt before.
I never considered myself a sexual person.
Losing my virginity had never held any importance to me. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever marry or fall in love. My past had fucked my head up too much. Every marriage I’d seen was also dysfunctional.
I’d also never thought about intimacy, and as badly as I tried to convince myself otherwise, I felt that with Enzo. Really, every time we’d touched each other, there’d been a twinge of it.
Whether it was toxic intimacy was another matter.
It was toxic. More than toxic. I’d pay for that later. I knew it.
Enzo would ruin me, and I’d never be the same after this. My being a Fawn would mark me for the rest of my life.
All day, I couldn’t stop checking my phone for any notifications from him. Couldn’t stop looking around for any sight of him. Disappointment pinched inside me each time I found nothing.
He had taken my virginity and was now MIA.
How cliché of him.
When we were finally able to go back inside the university, Daphne declared we were having a girls’ night in our dorm.
That was fine with me.
I needed something relaxing.
Maybe an Enzo-free night would help me stop thinking about him.
Now, Daphne and I were sprawled out in her nook, her laptop set up on the shelf that was eye level with us, as John Tucker Must Die played on the screen.
A plethora of snacks were scattered around us.
When the movie ended, I glanced over at Daphne. “Do you want to be a Fawn?”
Daphne paused mid-sip of her pina colada-flavored wine cooler, puckering her lips as she thought about it. “Honestly, not really. Before Clarissa, I did.” She choked out a laugh. “Can you believe I was actually butthurt when she was chosen and I wasn’t? How stupid was that?”
“Really?” I took a sip of my wine cooler. Mine was supposed to taste like a strawberry daiquiri.
“My mom made it seem like this wonderful thing, and maybe for her, it was. I think the Sons have changed from when she was a Fawn. Sure, they’d put her through mental and emotional hell, but Fawns weren’t fucking dying.” She took a long sip before pointing the glass bottle at me.
“Do you think you’ll ever be chosen?” I rubbed my sock-covered feet together.
“Doubt it. Like I said before, people don’t like me after what my father did.
His stupid-ass behavior probably saved me from having to go through the mental turmoil of being a Fawn.
” She rolled her eyes before running a finger over her eyelashes.
“At least that’s one good thing he did for me, I guess.
” She smiled at me. “But I do think it was fate that you were placed as my roommate. At least I’m here to help you through it as much as I can. ”
I returned the smile, grateful for that. If she hadn’t been here to walk me through some of the things that were happening, then I’d have been lost.
My phone beeped, and I snatched it from beside me.
I hated that my heart skipped a beat, hoping it was something from Enzo. My stomach coiled, and my hands felt clammy around the phone as I read the text.
Unknown Number: All Fawns must die.
I nearly dropped it when it vibrated again.
Unknown Number: All Fawns WILL die.
“What?” Daphne asked, dropping an M&M in her mouth.
I turned the phone to let her read the text. The M&M she was about to eat fell from her hand and onto the bed.
“Send that to Enzo,” she said.
“What?” I asked, looking at the phone again, staring at the text, as if the sender’s information would randomly pop up.
She grabbed the M&M and ate it. “Send that to him. If he doesn’t already have your phone linked to his, he needs to know. That’s fucking scary.”
“Do you think it’s Enzo?”
She shook her head. “If a Son ever said something like that, they’d be kicked out and probably dead. One rule that Sons have: No one fucks with their Fawns and lives to see the next day.”
My eyelids felt heavy, and I struggled to keep them open during my Environmental Science class.
All night, I’d lain awake, unable to drift off to sleep.
I thought about how creepy Saint Vale was.
Thought about that text.
It wasn’t sent to the wrong person.
It was meant for me. Death to Fawns meant death to me.
Each time I shut my eyes, I felt something.
Heard something.
Or maybe what I was hearing was the result of too many wine coolers.
Two wasn’t that much, was it?