Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
“Iwonder what they’re doin’ right now,” Emilie murmured, trying and failing for the third time that day to focus entirely on the task at hand. “Are they down by the sea, learnin’ about fish? Do they even miss me at all?”
Her heart lurched at the thought, visions of the twins sitting down by where she’d spent so many afternoons with them tugging at her heartstrings.
She didn’t even want to imagine what Archer was doing in that moment; she didn’t think that she could bear it.
“Are ye over here talkin’ to yerself?”
Laura’s voice startled her, and Emilie let out a squeak. The knife she had been holding while she chopped potatoes clattered to the counter as she jumped back.
Emilie had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard the young woman approach. Her hand fluttered over her heart, a shaky laugh falling from her as she tried to settle herself.
“I dinnae hear ye,” Emilie explained, turning back around to the vegetables she had been chopping.
She grabbed the knife once her hands had steadied, beginning her duties all over again. Laura reached forward, taking her own knife out of the block it had been stored in, and joining Emilie’s side.
“Ye’re nae doin’ too well bein’ back,” Laura said.
It wasn’t a question, but Emilie felt like she needed to respond as if it were one. She had been back at the abbey for two entire days.
The day before, she’d been in a daze. Everything that had happened seemed to be happening in a fog, leaving Emilie feeling numb. Today, however, was an entirely different story.
Now, Emilie felt everything. Her emotions had been heightened, and every moment was consumed with thoughts of what was happening at Castle McGregor.
“It was just different there,” she murmured.
Emilie’s hand shook a bit as she resumed her cutting, and she pulled in deep, steadying breaths as she tried to focus.
“How so?” Laura asked.
The question hung in the air as Emilie couldn’t answer right away. She didn’t know if she could answer it at all.
Because how did she explain it to Laura? How did she explain the children? How did she explain Louis’s sweetness and Aurora’s fierceness, and how perfect a match they were to each other?
How did she explain the sea and the sky meeting just beyond the cliffs, and how the view so often took her breath away?
And most of all, how did she explain Archer?
“Ye havenae really talked about it since being back,” Laura continued, her tone soft and almost placating. “And it’s all right, if ye daenae want to. But it might help.”
Emilie turned to look at her friend. Her friend, who was often so fierce, so protective, and full of fire, was looking at her with a level of softness and openness that Emilie had never seen. And it cracked right through the protective wall she had built around herself the past few days.
“I fought against it at first,” Emilie explained.
Her voice was hoarse as she began to speak, working to keep her voice low so that the other girls would not overhear.
“I wanted an annulment immediately,” she continued.
“And I came up with a plan to annoy him. Me husband, Archer, he dinnae suffer fools lightly, and he was so strict about his bairns bein’ educated.
So, I kent if anythin’ was goin’ to get him to annul the marriage, it was him thinkin’ I was a dolt. ”
Laura looked at her, a sly smile tugging up her lips.
“So ye pretended to be daft,” she asked, humor lacing her tone.
Emilie laughed a bit despite the heaviness in her soul, nodding her head.
“I think I annoyed even meself,” she admitted. “Did ye ken I told him I tried to teach the chickens to whistle? And that I couldnae understand why me dahlias wouldnae grow?”
Laura snorted, shaking her head. “I’m certain that drove him mad.”
The smile didn’t fade from Emilie’s face, not entirely. But some of the momentary lightness that she’d felt did fade a little.
“I’m certain it did,” she said with a note of melancholy. “But it dinnae take long for him to figure out it was all an act.”
“What did he do then?” Laura asked.
And for the first time since coming back to the abbey, Emilie told the entire story. With every word, her heart hurt even more.
She’d been avoiding these thoughts for days, too scared of the pain if she allowed herself to relive it all. But there was something healing and cathartic in finally voicing it all, even though it also hurt with every word that she spoke.
“And he was kind to ye? The entire time?” Laura asked when Emilie had finally finished speaking.
She paused for a moment, thinking it over.
“He was never unkind,” Emilie responded honestly. “But he had a fierce protectiveness about him that meant I always felt protected. I was safe with him. I never doubted that.”
Laura nodded, giving Emilie a sly, sidelong look.
“And what about yer other wifely duties?” she asked, her voice laced with innuendo.
Heat rushed into Emilie’s cheeks. She focused intently on chopping the carrot in her hand, trying her best to make sure each and every slice was equal.
She could feel Laura’s eyes on her face, and Emilie tried her best to remain unbothered. But she knew deep in her soul that she did not succeed.
Images swarmed Emilie’s mind, and she could see and remember it all. She remembered the kisses, the look on Archer’s face, the moment his mouth claimed hers.
She remembered the way his hands felt as they roamed her body, and the way his eyes had seemed to glow as he had sunk to his knees before her.
Pain. Sharp, hot pain grabbed Emilie’s attention, and her eyes went wide.
She had lost herself so entirely to the fantasies that she’d stopped paying attention to where the knife was going, and she had sliced deep into her finger.
Emilie sucked in a breath, dropping the knife to the table as she stepped back. Blood began to pour, and Laura jumped into action.
Grabbing one of the dry rags from the counter, she rushed to Emilie’s aid. Immediately, Laura began to wrap the rag around Emilie’s finger, squeezing tightly in an effort to stop the bleeding.
“Well,” Laura said, looking down at Emilie’s hand. “Ye dinnae need to go cuttin’ yerself to avoid the question. I can figure out just by lookin’ at how red yer cheeks got that ye rather enjoyed those wifely duties.”
Emilie snorted a laugh, shaking her head at Laura.
“Ye’re crass,” she said, causing Laura to cock a brow.
“And ye’re still nae answerin’ me questions.”
The two of them shared a pointed look. After a few moments, they lifted the rag and checked the wound.
The bleeding had slowed significantly, enough that Emilie knew they would have no problem getting it bandaged. She glanced at the counter, grateful when she noticed that the blood didn’t get on any of the vegetables.
She followed after Laura, the pair of them making the all-too-familiar journey to where the healing items were kept. It was a small closet not far from the kitchen, and it was no time at all before Laura was pulling back the door, stepping back so that Emilie could come stand next to her.
The pair was quiet as they slowly unwrapped Emilie’s finger, the bleeding now almost completely stopped. Laura took out a bit of muslin, using it to wrap and bind where the wound was.
She looked up at Emilie as she worked.
“I just have one more question, if ye’ll humor me,” she said, her brown eyes dancing mischievously.
Emilie rolled her eyes at her friend, but talking about everything had made her feel better. So, she just nodded, indicating for Laura to continue.
“Why are ye here?” she asked. “If everythin’ there was so great, why are ye back at the abbey?”
Emilie’s heart lurched.
“I told ye, he wanted an annulment.”
Laura raised a brow. “I ken that much, ye told me already. What I mean is, why are ye nae back at the castle, tryin’ to convince him to take it all back?”
Emilie stood a little straighter, staring at Laura as she finished bandaging her finger.
The thought had not occurred to her. When Archer had told her to begin packing, he had seemed so firm and so resolute that Emilie had seen no way out of it.
But would a few days have softened that? Would a few days be enough for him to see the error of his ways? Could she potentially convince him to allow her to move back in, to give their marriage a try?
“Ye ken, Laura,” Emilie said, a smile pulling up her lips. “I think ye just might have a point.”
The two grinned at each other while they stowed away the healing materials all over again. When they were finished, Laura turned her attention back to Emilie.
“When will ye go?” she asked conspiratorially.
“Tomorrow,” Emilie said immediately.
And that one word had a profound effect on her mood. For the first time in days, the smile that pulled up Emilie’s lips was genuine.
Tomorrow, Emilie would head back to McGregor. Tomorrow, everything was going to change.