Chapter 15
A fter Luci showed up, I didn’t see Amaris for the rest of the day yesterday, not even through her window. Pushing her out of my head, Ace follows me out the door to train with me.
Movement out the corner of my eye has my feet skidding to a stop. After catching a glimpse of cherry brown hair, they start moving again with a mind of their own, straight to where Amaris is sparring with Marco. Taking advantage of not being seen yet, I watch them fight from behind a tree.
Amaris’ tan skin glistens in the sunlight that pokes through the trees. Sweat gathers on her forehead and chest, rolling into her sports bra and down her stomach. Her tights look painted onto her skin. Fuck , this girl has the body of a literal goddess.
I feel like a damn teenager. Albeit, as a teenager I never quite felt this way. Always seeking her out, even subconsciously, and getting rock-hard at just the sight of her.
This is different.
Strange.
Ace barks and rushes towards Marco when he lands a hit on Amaris, forcing me to come out and call him off. Stalking closer to them, I clear my throat and send Marco away to do something else. Amaris bites her tongue at whatever smart retort she was going to make, knowing Marco is on my payroll, and goes for her water bottle instead.
“I’m sure you could have had someone else run out for you, Kincaid,” she says while re-doing her messy bun.
“I’m sure you can spar with someone else while he’s gone, Santos.” I mimic her mocking tone.
Both hands on her hips, she narrows her eyes at me. “Like whom?”
“Like me.”
Her nose scrunches up in distaste, then she seems to contemplate it. “You’re serious?”
“Sure, come on. You know you want to get a few hits in.”
And that she did. I knew she did boxing for years and that she has strength, but I thought I would have to go easier on her. She put up a damn good fight.
We spar on and off until the sun begins to set. Amaris grabs a shirt—I’m assuming she was wearing it this morning—and throws it on, walking ahead of me with Ace to the cliff to see the sunset from there. Excitedly saying, and I quote, “There’s no better spot to watch the sun set around here.”
Taking up a spot on the ground a few feet away from the cliff, we watch the sky transform into a live painting before our eyes. The view is nice, I won’t deny it, but the look of fascination on Amaris’ face is far more beautiful than any sunset or sunrise I’ve ever seen. Her golden eyes never dim, even when the sun abandons us completely, they shine under the luminescent moon.
I want to draw her like this and keep the memory forever.
A gust of wind pushes her scent my way, enveloping me in a concoction of sweat and cinnamon rolls. She always smells like cinnamon rolls and vanilla, I can’t get enough of it. I’ve never liked sweets, but those are my new favorite dessert.
“Look, it’s my best friend!” She glances my way, doing a double take when she realizes I’m already looking at her. Pointing to the sky, she draws our attention to the bright, full moon out tonight. “The moon has known me my whole life.”
“I’d like to think the moon has known everyone that’s ever lived.”
“Yeah, but I’ve always felt comforted by the moon and the stars, like I have a friend in her. The moon,” she specifies. “I know it sounds dumb, but I talk to her. She’s the only one who listened to me growing up. That never changed.”
“It’s not dumb. I may not fully get it, but I do understand.” I hesitate then ask, “How are you feeling mentally?” Growing nervous all of a sudden, I start rambling. “Because, you know, the accident, but if you don’t want to tal—"
She lays a soft hand on my shoulder and stops my babbling. “I can talk about it.” Petting Ace while she prepares to speak is something I’ve noticed her do a few times now.
“It feels like some parts of my brain are blocked off and it physically hurts when I try to push those barriers. Sometimes I feel so angry and confused, I think I’m going crazy. But I hold on to what I know is real, and for now, that’s enough.”
“Maybe you don’t have to have everything figured out yet.” After a beat, I ask, “What do you know is real?”
“I could never forget the feeling of flying on my bike or reading a good book, they both transport me to new places. I love being active and boxing, as I’m pretty sure you know, and baking is as real as it gets for me. That’s my favorite thing to do, I think it’s everyone else’s, too.”
Huffing a chuckle, I say, “Yeah, my men are going to put on weight if you keep feeding them.”
She curls up and stares into my eyes inquisitively, then catches me off guard when she decides to speak.
“Tell me something real.”
A part of me wants to lie—it’s not like she’d know if what I say is true or not. But something about the way she’s looking at me and how it makes me feel has the words tumbling out before I can stop them.
“Growing up in the estate, I used to crawl out of my window and sit on a ledge where no one could see me, away from my father and his guards. At night, I’d sit out there and look up at the moon, too, envisioning a simple, quiet life.”
“Do you still want that?”
It feels like a loaded question, but it really is a simple one.
“That doesn’t matter anymore, those were childhood dreams.”
“It’s okay to want a simple life. We all need someone who can hear our silence.”
I don’t say anything for a while, at first just to mull over what she said. Then I’m watching Amaris play with Ace as if he were a small puppy and not twice her size when she’s sitting.
At first, I couldn’t wrap my head around why Ace didn’t bark at or attack her, but after seeing them together I’m starting to get it. He clearly already loves her and would protect her just like he would me. She bewitched him, and I have a feeling I’m not far behind.
She pushes his head around playfully then scratches him behind the ears while bringing his face close to hers, tapping their noses together. “Boop,” she says when she pulls back. When he licks her cheek she turns her face in my direction with a huge smile on her face.
Her smile is so beautiful up close, I thought I was struck by lightning momentarily with the force of it. I don’t know whether to stab her or kiss her for making me feel such strange emotions.
“Why don’t you just leave this place behind and start over somewhere quiet? You clearly have the money for it. I don’t know everything about how the mafia works, but you should always have a choice in life.” Amaris breaks the silence.
“It sounds so simple when you say it, but I can’t just leave. That’s not how it works around here.” At her puzzled expression, I elaborate. “Soon enough, I will have an empire to run. It wasn’t easy working my way up, either. This life is ruthless. It doesn’t care about what you want, and once it has its hooks in you, there is no escaping.”
“Surely there must be some way out.”
Before I get the chance to say anything else, my phone starts ringing in my pocket. The caller display reads Renato , bringing on the sensation of spiders crawling down my back.
“Yes?” I answer, sitting up straight.
“Come to my office, we need to have a chat.”
The line goes dead once he finishes speaking, but I keep my phone up to my ear while my head spins. Here I am, trusting Amaris when I’m supposed to be getting her to trust me.
Standing abruptly, I rake my hand through my hair. “Stay with Ace, I have to go handle something.”
When I enter Renato’s office, the two guards that usually stand outside his door are standing on either side of his desk. He has a cigar in his mouth when he sees me, blowing a big cloud of smoke in my direction.
“Come in, Kylo. I just wanna have a little talk, you can stand.” He ashes his cigar and takes a puff, then puts it out and gets comfortable in his chair. “Why did you shoot my guard?” The question is neutral, but I catch the insinuation in his tone.
My face remains impassive as I lie. “He was a rat.”
After pretending to think about what I said, he cocks his head my way and both soldiers waste no time jumping me. On instinct I fight back, but Renato’s booming voice drains the fight out of me.
“If you fight back, I will make it worse for you.”
All I can do is take the hits until Renato is satisfied. What he doesn’t know is I welcome the pain. It fuels the dark part of me that I lock up in a box and let loose in any way I know how. Fighting or sketching—two completely different hobbies, a paradox. It’s been a while since I’ve drawn, but recently I’ve been newly inspired.
These bastards are enjoying this a little too much, but they forget I know where they lay their heads at night.
Once Renato is seemingly satisfied with my bruised and bloody body, he orders his men out of the room. I’m lying on the floor still catching my breath when his face comes into view.
“This Saturday I will be hosting a special party. You will bring Amaris to the party and show her off on your arm, but you watch yourself, boy. Now, get off my floors. You look a mess.”