XV
“Sir?”
“What?”
Lucky cut his glowing golden eyes to the human with question in his gaze as he fished for his keys. Charlie was fidgety, and Lucky wasn’t sure why.
“I don’t really think a club is the right place for me to… unwind,” Charlie noted.
Lucky threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, trust me, I wouldn’t dream of ruining my reputation with your uncoordinated self. I’d be laughed out of Hell.”
He also wouldn’t risk Charlie’s safety in a club. Demons from the more lustful and gluttonous sectors often hopped over on their nights off to have a little fun. He’d be swallowed whole—either sexually or as a snack—and Lucky would have to go back on his ‘I don’t kill people’ promise.
It didn’t surprise Lucky that Charlie assumed that was where they were headed.
Hell was a neon-soaked, sinful place. All fiery lights, thumping music, and high-energy antics.
It was a metropolis of depravity, and Lucky was apt to spend his little time off drinking, grinding, and indulging in activities that were less than savory—at least to keep up appearances before he’d retreat to his interior design books—so the mention of ‘a fun idea’ probably led the sheltered mortal to think that was the plan.
He couldn’t blame him, but he didn’t like it.
The prince unlocked the door to the building and flipped on the lights before he turned off the security alarm. He let Charlie step inside and secured the door behind them.
“What… is this place?” Charlie asked.
“A driving range,” Lucky replied as he picked up a putter from the rack behind the counter.
Charlie looked at him with confusion, though he wasn’t sure what Charlie was confused about.
Lucky picked up a blood red golf ball. “Golf, Charlie. We’re here to hit balls.”
“Oh! That’s… a weird thing to have in Hell, I guess.”
“We also have tons of mini golf and a gorgeous sixteen hole course. This is the Greed level of Hell, rich assholes love golf. A lot of demons do, too. It’s a nice way to unwind after a long day of torment. Keeps the muscles loose.”
“Why is it empty?”
“It’s early in the day, the folks who use these kinds of facilities are asleep.” He grabbed a few more clubs.
“Really? The streets just now seemed so… busy?”
“Time for some Hell hierarchy lessons. Low level folks like the orcs and ogres do most of the grunt work. The manual labor, the stuff that keeps Hell running. They’re the ones you’ll see in shops, running the restaurants, handling labor-heavy tasks.
Imps, succubi, and incubi are the next tier.
They’re the lowest level demonic entities.
They do more… annoying things. Cause minor mishaps, nudge people toward sin, et cetera.
Imps are often the ones you’ll see during the daylight hours.
They’re up bright and early, in the offices, out causing chaos, handling admin work.
A lot of the sex demons don’t do it full time, either.
Too much of it will make them sick so they also have day jobs.
“The demons are the ones calling the shots, and they prefer late night activities. That’s when the clubs open, the bars, the high end restaurants.
They’re the tormentors, the ones handling the hard work, and a lot of times they’re also psychopomps so they’re less structured because death never sleeps.
They’re the heart and soul of what we do, so they get priority when it comes to scheduling.
Most of them prefer to have the later hours to unwind, either to cap off a long day or start the night off right.
It also ensures that our grunts and low level thralls aren’t spread too thin by manning clubs and things non-stop.
A lot of places like this won’t open until the demons wake up.
That means we get it all to ourselves for a while. ”
Charlie set his hand against his chin in thought. “Fascinating. And you?”
“Me?”
“You’re up early most of the time, and you’re royalty…”
“Are you asking where I fall on the hierarchy? If I’m a demon?”
“I suppose.”
“Technically, yes, I’m a demon but I’m—” Lucky shrugged— “Better, I guess. And I’d never call myself one.
I’m a devil. The royal family are the only ones with the title of devil, because we reign supreme.
We have more powers, more responsibilities, better physiques and higher stamina.
We’re also the only ones who can maintain a human form for long periods of time.
Most demons can only do it for a few minutes at most, but I could control it for hours.
It’s tiring but possible. We also get to make our schedules, I align mine with the a.m. hours in America since it means I’m usually done by lunch and can handle my other business ventures at night when the owners are on the clock. ”
He tossed Charlie a pink golf ball. The priest caught it and held it close.
Lucky pointed to the stairs and told him to head on up so they could go to the royal family’s private bay on the second floor since it had the best angle for the holes.
Another statement that left the prince cringing because his thoughts went somewhere they shouldn’t have.
Thankfully, Charlie didn’t seem to notice.
“How big is the royal family?” Charlie asked.
“Good question. The old man is… old, and has a lot of Zeus-like qualities, if you catch my drift,” Lucky replied.
He saw Charlie’s round ears grow a tad red as the obvious blush raced across his cheeks. Lucky snickered. He figured the mythology angle would be the way to tell him his father got around without outright saying it. It was a thought neither of them really seemed to want to envision.
“I have several siblings, all of us have different mothers. I never met mine, and I’m young compared to some of them,” Lucky replied.
“How young?”
“Your Lord and Savior had already been crucified by the time I came around.”
“Oh… so you’re still thousands of years old, then?”
“A little less, but I round up. You lose track after a while. Not like daddy dearest would pay much mind to things like birthdays for his army of kids. It’s funny, I’m Lucifer Morningstar Junior but I’m also the like…
one of dozens with that title. It made it easier to always have an heir at the ready in case something happened to someone else. ”
“You are the heir apparent, though?”
“For this circle, yeah. But I doubt the old man will ever let me have it.”
Lucky opened the door to the private bay and showed Charlie inside.
The room only had three walls, with an opening that faced a wide open expanse of Hell.
It hung over a pit of pure lava. Off in the distance, a few floating rocks hung with flags and makeshift holes that had spray painted numbers on their surfaces.
Rows of golf clubs rested in holders, two black leather sofas were tucked up against either wall with a table in the center meant to hold food and drinks.
A human skull with the top removed housed a handful of extra golf balls that glistened in the light of the flames in the wall sconces.
A mini fridge in the corner had a variety of beverages inside.
The prince set down the extra clubs. “Careful on the platform, we don’t need you falling,” he said as he pulled his blazer off.
He tossed it on the sofa and rolled up his sleeves.
Walking toward the wall, snatched up his favorite club, set the ball on the tee, and got into position.
He took a second to line up his club, then swung with effortless grace.
The ball went soaring and landed perfectly on one of the floating platforms before rolling into the hole.
He turned to look at Charlie who gave a polite golf clap. It made his pointed ears twitch with delight and his tail flick around excitedly.
“You want to try? Those are people-sized, you can use them,” Lucky noted.
“Why are there people-sized clubs?” Charlie asked.
“It’s not uncommon for demons to have favorite humans, Chuck.
Go out on the town at night and you’ll see a lot of duos like us walking around.
Sometimes a human really… captivates a demon, it usually happens during a reaping…
or a torture session for some freaks who lean into the sadism stuff.
They’ll spoil them rotten, sometimes they live with them.
They’re more… complacent compared to a lot of the folks down here, so it can be refreshing. ”
“You make it sound like they keep humans as pets.”
“Well… that’s not entirely incorrect.”
“Is that why you’re nice to me?”
“N-no! I don’t keep humans, I never have. I wouldn’t even go up to Earth and deal with them if I didn’t have to. You’re… you.”
“What does that mean?”
“You’re…” Lucky didn’t know. An annoyance? An obligation? A headache? “A friend.” He bit his tongue after he said it.
Charlie’s shoulders dropped but not in a sad way. He blinked slowly and shifted on the sofa where he’d taken a seat to watch.
He needed to backtrack, say anything else that wouldn’t make things more awkward.
His mouth kept moving without his brain filtering the words beforehand.
“You’re different, I guess. People who end up in Hell deserve it, and they’re all the same.
Loud, annoying, lustful, prideful, murderous, self-indulgent weirdos.
You’re quiet, patient, and you don’t give a flying fuck that I’m royalty.
You talk back to me, you treat me like I’m any other person, and I like having you around,” Lucky replied.
“Don’t I annoy you?” Charlie asked quietly.
“Yeah, you do. But I don’t mind, weirdly. I will genuinely miss you when you get up to Heaven, Chuck. I mean that.”
Charlie blushed again. Lucky smiled and set another ball down, trying to do something to pull his eyes away from the priest. He swung back and let his body move on instinct.
The sound of the club hitting the ball echoed in the quiet bay, all he could do was watch it soar until he was forced to turn back and face the consequences of his words.