XXXIII
“What happened to you?” Lucky asked as the royal elevator in Hell HQ opened the following morning.
He’d finished his mad dash of collecting the rent from the old school businesses that refused to do direct deposit in record time, excited to start this new project and refusing to let that requirement of his job keep him from heading back to Charlie for too long.
The bag of money was tucked under his arm so he could count it on his lunch break.
He had his shoulder bag with work essentials slung over the other shoulder and a paper sack with sandwiches in hand for their lunch.
Charlie leaned around Lucky’s large frame to look at the demon lord who had joined them.
Bub had limped inside, rubbing his low back with his non-injured hand. “Gabe got some new toys they wanted to try last night. My hips are fu—fully messed up,” he said, looking down at Charlie who he’d seemingly only just realized was there.
Lucky rolled his eyes. “Better you than me.”
“I’m not sure I can keep up, man,” Bub groaned. “Did you two have a good night?”
“Yeah, we did,” Charlie replied with a sweet grin. His halo grew a little brighter.
“I wish I could have slept in. I have a feeling today is going to be brutal,” Lucky said.
Bub nodded fervently. “Same, but Limbo’s needed some TLC for a while so I think this project will do wonders for morale.”
Lucky also nodded. He shifted to look at Charlie as the fledgling angel took the bag of sandwiches from him.
Lucky used his free hand to push Charlie’s glasses back up and fix his wayward curls as the elevator continued to rise.
The human giggled before he took a sip of the coffee they’d picked up on the way.
Once the elevator arrived on the top floor, the trio stepped out into the grey-soaked world and made their way to the bridge.
Bub explained that Gabe planned to meet them there since they’d needed to return to Heaven briefly to grab their laptop and files after spending the night in the demon lord’s apartment.
They chatted about how to tackle this project as they made their way through the sad bodies hanging out by the edge of the River Styx.
The walk took a few minutes and, as they arrived at the gates, a Heavenly light appeared signaling the arrival of Gabe.
The archangel waved as they joined the group.
Unlike their boyfriend, they looked refreshed and glowed with a Heavenly perfection.
They set their hand under Bub’s chin and gave his head a soft shake, smirking with a satisfaction that Lucky recognized.
He was happy for them, they made an unlikely but perfect pair, and he’d only had to redirect Bub a handful of times when it came to his impulsive antics over the past year.
The prince was happy his two dearest friends were falling in love.
The newly formed administrative staff kept on moving toward the office building that looked like an old temple with big columns and black ivy crawling up its sides.
The lines of souls waiting for the workday to begin made it somewhat hard to get into the building, so Lucky made sure he had a grip on Charlie’s hand so he wouldn’t lose track of him.
Once they entered the Limbo offices, they were escorted by a nervous-looking imp with a name badge that read Malak to the records room.
The little creature scurried along in front of them, rambling and stuttering about how embarrassed they were that things had gotten so messy and how they were thankful that the king was finally doing something to keep them all from suffocating under an avalanche of papers.
With each passing step, Lucky grew a little more anxious.
It must have been apparent, since Charlie held onto his hand tighter and gave him a reassuring smile, nearly dropping the sandwiches as he tried to hold onto too many things at once.
The group arrived at the end of a long, colorless hall where an ominous door rested. Above it was a sign that simply noted it was their destination, and the knob refused to turn for the antsy imp.
“Apologies, m’Lord, it’s been a while,” the little creature said with a shaky laugh.
Lucky nodded his head toward it. Bub pushed up his non-existent sleeves and marched forward.
With his immense strength, he managed to get the door pushed open, but not after being chided by Gabe to be mindful of his injury.
It resisted, but when it finally budged he nearly fell face first into the room.
The sound of paper piles crashing to the ground echoed in the otherwise noiseless hallway, and that sense of déjà vu rolled over the prince again.
The five supernaturals all poked their heads into the dark room as Lucky flicked on the lights.
One by one the old bulbs popped on, and didn’t stop for an uncomfortably long time as the expansive space continued to reveal itself.
The grey-hued fog that lingered in Limbo had somehow managed to sneak its way into the filing room, giving the massive rectangle an endless vibe.
Stacks of paperwork held up desks, they’d been shoved into boxes without lids, and many fell to the floor after the door opened.
“Holy fuck,” Gabe said with uncharacteristic crassness.
Lucky and Bub turned to look at them for a second before shifting back to the mess.
“How did this happen? What are all of these files?” Lucky asked with disbelief as he stepped inside, carefully lifting his long legs over a few stacks. He set his bag of rent money and his cup of coffee on a filing cabinet for safe keeping as he studied the chaos.
“Everything,” Malak the imp replied, pushing their smudged glasses back up.
“What do you mean everything?” Lucky questioned.
“Our job is to process the death files—”
“I know that! I’m the head psychopomp! I’m confused about the ‘everything’ part! Why do you have so many? What are these?”
“This-this is every file, like I said, m’Lord!
The files get stamped by our office, we-we make a copy, and hand that copy back to the psychopomp for them to handle.
But-but the originals… We keep-keep the originals since everything is so on-on fire downstairs!
They kept burning up so His Royal Highness requested we kept the-them secure here since the souls are tied to their files and it would be-be mass chaos if one was damaged! ”
Lucky’s hands grew clammy. “You’re telling me that every soul who has come through those gates out there is in here?! And none of it was filed!?”
The imp shrieked and cowered. “Y-yes! Well, n-no! Some of it! But when Lord Lucius left us for Anger no-none of the other heirs kept up with it appropriately!” they said, slapping their hands over their head to beg for forgiveness.
“Dude, they left like… before electricity was a thing,” Bub said.
Lucky’s knees grew weak. He sat on the closest thing he could find, a stack of papers, and scrubbed his hand down his face. Placing his fingers in front of his lips, he turned to look at his new office staff who looked as pale and faint as he felt.
“So that means that the souls that were here for processing to come to Heaven when our collaborative efforts were in place are also in this mess?” Gabe questioned, turning their stern eyes toward the imp who cowered at their Heavenly rage.
“How did this happen?” Lucky asked.
“We never get audited, and His Majesty has not visited us in some time. We assumed it wasn’t necessary since the psychopomp department was running so smoothly and no one ever needs the originals,” Malak replied apologetically.
“Please tell me you actually check the files before you hand them back,” Lucky begged.
Malak’s lips parted and clamped shut several times, unsure of how to respond for a moment. The angry, dark plume of smoke that left Lucky’s nose seemingly scared the imp into talking.
“We’re understaffed,” Malak said quietly.
“No one wants to work in Limbo… I-I have no doubt things have gotten lax despite our best efforts. We simply don’t have the manpower for the influx.
We try but I’m sure things have grown messy, especially with the collaborative efforts between us and the Seraph’s Office upstairs. You’ve seen the lines, m’Lord.”
Gabe scoffed as they walked inside, folding their wings over their body to try and avoid the precarious stacks.
After a second of looking around, the archangel whipped around to glare at Lucky like this was all his fault.
He lifted his hands defensively. In a way, it probably was his fault as the head psychopomp for not realizing this was happening for so long, but he didn’t feel like being blamed for it right now.
“That explains where our missing souls have gone,” Gabe said, aghast at the revelation. “What in the actual Hell is wrong with you people down here? Why are you still using paper files? This is ridiculous, you should have gone digital decades ago.”
“Try telling that to my old man.” Lucky groaned. “Nothing beats pen and paper,” both he and Bub said in unison, doing their best impression of Satan.
Gabe rolled their eyes and started picking up some of the files to see if they could figure out where to start. As they did, a machine chimed somewhere in the corner of the office. A small slot opened in the wall and a stack of papers slid out, spiraling dramatically onto the ground.
“We-we’re open for business, it would seem,” the imp said.
“We’re so fucked,” Lucky mumbled. His tail wiggled with distress and it knocked another tower of files over.
“How long do we have to finish this?” Charlie inquired, turning to the trembling imp with a reassuring smile, obviously trying to let them know it wasn’t their fault.
“As long as it takes, I guess,” Lucky replied, exhaling a massive plume of smoke.
He was going to tear off Lucius’ head for this. Again.
Charlie walked up to Lucky and took his hands. “Breathe, we can do this. We managed to knock out all of your files in less than a month, we can make this happen.”
Lucky cracked the smallest smile. He looked around and tried to remember that he had done this before, and he’d had fun doing it.
Gabe and Bub also approached, seemingly awaiting orders.
With a steadying breath, Lucky ungracefully rose from the stack of papers he’d perched himself on and fixed the strap of his bag over his shoulder. He turned to the imp.
“We need a room with desks, chairs, white boards, and office supplies. Whatever you don’t have let me know so I can get it ordered.
I need you to tell those morons out front to slow down, double check their work, and shut down that damn chute.
Everyone out there is dead, they can wait.
If a psychopomp starts complaining let me know, I’ll handle it.
Start filing things properly now, tell them I’ll have their heads if they don’t. Go,” Lucky threatened.
Malak bowed and scurried off, leaving the group standing amongst the piles with expectant expressions.
The silence of the Limbo office returned.
The Prince of Hell set his bag down to fish for his phone in the interior pocket so he could send a nasty text to Lucius in an attempt to fix his mood before he started the horrid task of fixing all of Hell’s messes.
He could already feel the paper cuts settling along his delicate and recently manicured fingers.
But, more importantly, a sense of purpose rolled over him.
He had a clear mission, repetitive tasks to keep his mind calm and focused, his best friends and his boyfriend at his side.
The longer this project took, the more he and Charlie could make up for lost time, and it seemed to be a worthwhile way to spend those early days as they reconnected.
Perhaps he’d hold off yelling at Lucius for a few more hours. Save it for when he got fed up and antsy from breaking too many boxes with his too-strong grip strength and impatience.
Charlie sipped his coffee as he grabbed Lucky’s hand again. “Where do we start?”
“Same place we started last time, I guess. Find the banker boxes and start chucking files in. Make sure we clearly mark the ones meant for Heaven so Gabe can start taking them up at the end of the day. Then we should brainstorm a way to make sure this stops happening while we work,” Lucky replied as he slipped his phone into his pocket.
“We’re going to be here for an eternity,” Gabe whined.
“Yeah, but, it’s also basically a paid vacation away from those tightwads at the Seraph’s Office. And you get to hang out with me,” Bub said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
Gabe lightly slapped his chest but couldn’t hide the soft smile on their face.
They demanded Bub accompany them to one of the lower circles to get a coffee before they started diving into the mess, and the love-struck demon lord followed with a happy grin and his ridiculous flip-flops echoing atop the marble flooring.
Lucky wrapped his tail around Charlie’s waist and pulled him close. The fledgling angel looked up at him with that perfect gap-tooth grin. Lucky grabbed his little halo and began spinning it around his finger, sending a beam of light bouncing across the paperwork piles.
“It’s going to be a tough job, and I’m one helluva boss. Are you up for this, Chuck?” Lucky asked playfully.
“There’s nowhere else in Heaven or Hell I’d rather be, Mr. Lucky,” Charlie replied.
“Well…” Lucky kissed the top of his head before he replaced the halo. “I guess we better get to filing.”