Marian
Tears. I couldn’t stop them. I couldn’t believe who I was looking at.
Was that me? Was that beautiful bride really me?
And, alone? Hollow? I wasn’t close to my family, but the emptiness of the truth couldn’t be hidden either.
Penny stood holding my hand, and Katia and her partner, Charlee, sat quietly in the large plush chairs off to the sides of the large mirror.
The magnitude of what was happening wasn’t isolated to me.
We all felt the heaviness. The doom that could come from this if my future went horribly wrong.
But I couldn’t think of that. They wouldn’t let me as they provided assurances that this would work out.
That I had them. It was nice, but it was a lie.
Drayton was my lifeline now. He was all I would have if he willed it so.
Owning me didn’t end at marriage. It ended with death.
“Alright.” I sniffled. “We’re running out of time. You have to finish the makeup. I think I’m done. I think—” My lips trembled. “I’m done. I’m fucking done. Shit.”
I doubled over, my body shaking through the cries.
With how tight the waist was on the ballgown, I could barely breathe.
I quickly stood, taking in the long lace sleeves and my bared shoulders.
The dress cut down just above my cleavage, and the veil moved smoothly around me with my silent sobs as I fanned my face.
I sniffled, shaking my head. “I’ve already thought about it.
It’s pointless. I used to listen to my mother talk about the system all the time.
Hell, she helped run it. Their decision is made.
My family is dead.” The last came out nearly inaudible, and I tried not to go into a fit of crying again.
“I love him,” I managed. “I never stopped. It was all lies, Katia.”
“I know.”
“My mother, she deserved what happened. I deserve this—”
“No. You don’t.”
“I do. I really do. Drayton—" I stopped. My mother always stressed not to air personal business about partners. It didn’t matter what was said, people never forgot, and I wasn’t going to do that to me or Drayton.
“I’m just processing the shock of how fast this happened.
Makeup. I’m okay. We’re running out of time. Let’s do this.”
“You’re sure? Me and Charlee can take you right now. No one will know.”
“I want this. I’m ready.”
There was hesitation, but Katia nodded to Charlee.
The blonde grabbed the large makeup case, bringing it over.
I headed for the chair, and Penny followed.
Her worry didn’t escape me. She was barely holding on through her silence.
She was terrified for me, and she had every right to be.
A few good days didn’t guarantee more. And Drayton seemed to be softening to the idea of us.
I wasn’t sure if using his name was helping with that or not, but I was hoping whatever it was, it would keep working.
“Let’s clean your face.”
“I don’t think makeup is going to help at this point.” I took the wet cloth from Charlee, first cleaning, and then drying as she handed me another.
“You’d be amazed at all the tricks I learned concerning makeup.”
I took in her beauty. Her height. She had to be mid-twenties, if that.
“I know you’re an agent, but do you model?”
Her eyes shot to Katia who nodded.
“I used to. A long time ago. I was pretty good, but I was my own worst enemy. We learn over time.”
“We do. And you learned makeup during that time?”
“I did.” She began applying creams, smoothing them into my face.
“There’s a lot of tricks, and they used pretty much all of them on me.
” She laughed. “I partied a lot back in those days. I’d come in with dark circles or swollen eyes from crying.
” She shrugged, smiling at me. “The tricks come in handy.”
Tricks. I learned different tricks in my youth, and they came in handy too.
“There we go,” she breathed out. “Perfect.” She kept applying different things.
I lost myself while she put on the foundation and contour.
Even when she did my eyes, I stayed back so far away from reality.
My mother was all I knew. Our conversations hadn’t been frequent, but the summers I was home, she taught me plenty.
She seemed to want to be my friend despite her overbearing rules.
Even though I didn’t agree with them, I understood the majority.
Especially now. But she wouldn’t have expected this.
She’d be so pissed if she was looking down from wherever she was.
She’d be downright raising hell. I found myself almost laughing at that thought.
She’d probably disown me, knowing I was becoming a Pennington.
And maybe that’s a big part of why I wanted this too.
I didn’t just love Drayton; I loved that my mother wasn’t winning.
My future belonged to him. It belonged to the man she thought she destroyed.
“Oh, Marian.” Penny placed her hand over her chest, right over the sweater she wore.
Not even a dress for my big day. My closest friends wouldn’t even be able to stand in my wedding or attend due to their ongoing status.
It was too risky to blow their cover, and these pictures would leak.
Mine and Drayton’s wedding would be everywhere within days.
When I left this room, I left them for good.
At least until we settled and Drayton allowed me to start living a normal life.
“She’s right.” Katia came in closer. “Marian, I know you hate your natural hair color, but I’ve missed it. You look amazing. You’re always beautiful, but wow… Just… wow.”
“Thank you,” Charlee said, finishing up the lipstick. “Thank you very much. I do believe this is my best work to date.”
She stepped back, turning me, and my breath caught as I stared at myself in the vanity.
My hand lifted towards my face, stopping just short of checking to see if this was real.
With the loose twisted sections of the updo and the small whisps of curls falling free, I looked like a dream. Like a fairytale bride.
“Don’t you dare start crying again.”
Laughter went through the room at Katia’s warning, but I heard the playfulness in her tone.
Knocking had all of us turning. Butterflies took over my stomach and Katia was quick to head over and look out the peephole.
A deep breath left her, and she opened the door, waving her hand.
Elec walked in, jolting to a stop as we finally came face to face.
He was dressed in a dark suit with a pale pink tie.
Pink. Pure. Love. Of course. Our colors. Subtle and classic.
“Elec.” I grabbed the ballgown, walking to meet him in the middle of the large opened living room.
“Marian. Wow, you look stunning.” His head shook through the surprise. “Sorry, no name,” he whispered only to me. “It’s almost time. I wanted to see if you were ready.”
“We just finished. I’m ready, I just… hold on.” I turned, reaching for Penny as she launched herself in my arms. “Give me time. I’m going to bring you back. It won’t be in London but—”
“No.” She pulled back, tears racing down her cheeks. “It’s time I take care of this, Marian. You have a life now. I’ll be fine. We’ll see each other when we can.”
“Drayton will—I.” I had no right bringing Drayton into this. “You’ll be fine,” I agreed. “I know you will. You’re strong, and we’ll see each other soon. If you get permission and want to stay at our apartment, you can. You can live there and keep your job for as long as you want.”
“Thank you.”
We gave one last hug, and I turned, hugging Charlee. “Thank you for everything. You’re a magician. You’re amazing. I want to meet again.”
“Soon.”
At my nod, I turned to Katia, fighting back the tears as my best friend stepped forward.
“You have my number. I’m here if you need me for anything.” Her hands squeezed mine. “Anything.”
“I know.” I squeezed back. “Thank you, but I’m going to be okay. I promise. Take care of Penny. If she wants to go back home, she can. My apartment is hers. You can both stay there or—”
“She’s not safe there anymore. With the media coverage in Florida, it connected her to you. It’s too risky.”
“I figured as much. Shit.”
“Don’t even stress. I’ll keep her safe. Smile.
Go get married. And take lots and lots of pictures because I’m devastated I can’t see it.
We were taking a risk coming here, but I had to see you.
I had to see this. You’re such a beautiful bride, Marian, and I pray.
” She swallowed hard. “I pray you both pick up where you left off. You love him. I saw the way he looked at you before I opened the door and ruined your moment. He loves you too. Hold to that. Even during the tough times.”
“I will.” I kissed her cheek, pulling back. “I have to go. I love you all. I’ll see you soon.”
I turned, taking Elec’s arm as he held it out. I couldn’t look back as I headed for the door. I was walking away from my past and right into a future that could be a nightmare. The man I held to was the key; he was also the monster if he wanted to be.
The door shut behind us. Neither of us spoke until we made a turn, stopping outside the elevator.
Elec didn’t press the button; he eased me to face him.
The gentleness I thought I’d caught before was gone.
The deadness in the man’s eyes as he stared at me now made me want to run.
I wanted to scream and hide from the terror that made my body shake.
I’d seen a version of that look before with my mother.
Doe-eyes… that’s what she called it. Vulnerable, needy eyes.
Love-me eyes. This expression Elec wore, although different, it was her.
It was a trigger, and I could feel the slight stall in my mind and my legs turn heavy as the sway tried to hook me.
But it didn’t. It couldn’t. I was immune without medication.
Why didn’t I remember this one? Why didn’t I think to use it?
I had before… with Drayton. At the beginning…
Or I had continuously tried. Of course….
Fuck … This was the look. This was the one that trumped all the others. It was the one…
“I won’t look away from you. Just tell me what you want, Elec. You don’t need to try to persuade me. Just ask. I’m not your enemy. Maybe my mother was, but I’m not her. Please don’t make me pay for her crimes. I was never part of them.”
Silence.
The look didn’t subside, but I didn’t keep staring to find out. My eyes lowered, and I held up one of my hands, trying to show some sign of peaceful submission. The men needed to feel powerful. They needed this. Needed. Needed. What about what I needed?
“Ask me, Elec. Tell me what you want.”
“I can’t trust you.”
I glanced up. “Because you can’t control me?”
“Because you know more than I thought. You know too much.”
My head shook. “I care nothing for what I know so long as it doesn’t affect what’s left of my life.
” I did meet his eyes, then, feeling my mother’s own expression push through.
I needed to try again. I needed to test it out on someone who knew what I was doing.
At least to see if I could even manage such a unique appearance.
“All I want is the man I love. The man who was taken from me. I loved him, Elec. You know that. You were his best friend back then, and I want that version of him back. I still love him.”
“How am I supposed to know that? Your mother was a liar too.”
“Find the evidence. Watch it. It can prove my innocence. I never wanted this. The measures that were taken to keep us apart is what you should be investigating.”
“Oh, I’ll be looking into more than you know. Your mother said she never taught you or your brother anything. After Jett’s behavior, I should have checked more into you.”
I slowly eased up to grasp his lapel. I needed to ground myself.
To calm. All I wanted to do was shake the truth into him.
“I don’t care about any of these stupid tricks.
All I want is to be happy. I want Drayton to love me back.
I want it. You can give that to me.” An edging panic had me pulling him closer, testing him more with my stare.
With that doe-eyed gripping expression. “Please. Find the evidence, Elec. Show him and clear my name and you won’t need your stupid persuasion.
I will do whatever you want. Ask me. Ask me for anything. ”
Pain nearly crippled me as he crushed my hand to break it free.
“You beg so nicely, but I see her in you, Marian. When you look at me, she’s here. That does not work in your favor. You’re keeping secrets.”
“No.”
His hand snapped to my face, holding tightly as he pulled me back in. “What have you really done? What do you know?”
“I-I…I don’t know anything. I—”
“Lying to me will not get you what you want.”
I jerked back hard, breaking free. “Drayton has hurt me. I told you everything I know. I don’t know anything about you or my mother’s work. I don’t want to know. I just want to be happy. I want him to love me too.”
Elec stayed quiet, still giving me that dead expression.
“Please don’t hold me responsible for my mother.
I don’t want to know anything about these abilities, but I won’t lie when I say I’m glad that I do.
I’m barely hanging on. Tell me what you want.
I’m an asset, Elec. Have me on your side or don’t, but I’ll tell you right now, you want me on your side.
Not because of this, but because I get shit done.
I take care of business, and I can financially destroy anyone you need.
I can get you any company you want. I am unstoppable.
Put me to the test. Work with me. Give me a good life with Drayton, and you have me.
But if you want to make me your enemy, kill me now.
Kill me like you killed my mother because I lost Drayton once. It won’t happen again.”