Chapter Marian
Marian
Icouldn’t remember ever shaking so much.
My hands constantly trembled. My pulse was off the charts.
Deep breaths kept coming. I felt like I couldn’t quite get enough oxygen.
I was a nervous wreck, and I had every right to be.
I’d fucked up beyond what was forgivable.
I was scum. The worst human being alive.
I’d been a coward. The more I thought about it since I’d talked to Drayton on the phone, the more I couldn’t understand how he was taking this so well.
The damage I’d done by not trying harder to get the truth out was irreparable.
There was no fixing the past. There was no apologizing or making the pain I caused ever go away.
Just thinking about facing Drayton again left me mortified.
If it wasn’t for me facing my sins, maybe I would have run.
But that wasn’t me. It never had been. My parents shipped me away.
They cut off communication with those we were close to.
I was blacklisted, filtered, blocked. Calls and emails didn’t help when they weren’t delivered on either side.
The truth had been silenced one way or another, and eventually, I stopped.
For so long, I tried to tell anyone who would listen, but they either didn’t believe me or didn’t want to.
It was discouraging, and eventually I gave up.
Life moved on. But did it really? Not for me. Not in my heart.
“I don’t like how quiet you are, Marian. Are you sure you’re okay?”
I forced a smile, nodding. “Of course. Let’s go check on Jenn. Her assistant was struggling with the large crowd when we passed. We already hit up all the tables. Let’s go see if they need help.”
Penny’s smile was automatic. She’d finished Slade at some point in the middle of the night and was already obsessing to move to the next book.
“Do you think he’ll come?”
I almost paused in my steps as we headed across the large, crowded room. The buzz of voices was loud, but not loud enough for me to pretend I didn’t hear.
“I don’t know. The signing has already been going on for a while. Drayton’s never been one to be late. He probably came to his senses and already headed home.”
“Maybe he can’t get in. You saw Bastian outside when we walked up.” Penny’s brow drew in with concern. “You should have seen all his guards. I don’t see how Drayton would make it up here, Marian.”
My heart fell to my stomach. “Drayton said there were a lot, but he has my number now, and he’s able to actually call it. If he can’t make it inside, I’m sure he’ll let me know. If not…”
I couldn’t continue. All I could do was shrug as Penny gave me a sympathetic look. She went to turn forward but jolted to a stop as the color drained from her face. I looked over to the side, not sure what caught her attention.
“Penny? What is it?” Her feet were planted, and her fingers clutched my forearm in a death grip. “Penelope?”
The forcefulness of my voice had her head shaking back and forth and her eyes searching the room in a wild panic.
“He’s—I saw—I think—” She pulled me two steps forward with a power I didn’t know she possessed.
“He, who?”
My neck craned, even though my adrenaline was already soaring. And it only increased even more as pieces began to quickly fit together. She was too afraid for this to be about Drayton or Bastian.
“I saw—I think—” She gave her head a hard shake.
“There was a mask. Behind that big logo— ” She pointed a few tables over and jumped as a figure stepped around the author’s banner, swooping in to grab a reader.
They squealed, and Penny stepped in, clutching to me as the taller one spun the blonde-haired girl around in a circle.
It was clear from the dark, long curls that were peeking out from the back that it was a woman who was wearing the movie-themed mask.
“Oh, Penny, that mask is from a horror movie—
“I know but…I…I…”
I fixed my arm to wrap around her. “Is that what he wore?”
She nodded, quickly pulling free and smoothing down her dress as if she were suddenly embarrassed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” I rushed out, giving her a reassuring grin. “I should have warned you. There was a mask or two at the last convention. I completely forgot to prepare you.”
We started to walk again but only got a few more steps before Penny stepped right into me, reaching back for my hand. A large mask-wearing man in a suit across the room was headed our way. As I began to look around, the room was suddenly full of people wearing the same mask.
“Marian—”
The panic in her voice had me spinning us for the main doors.
“Let’s just go grab a snack. I was getting hungry anyway.”
Penny quickly nodded, barely able to control her fast breathing as she kept looking over her shoulder. She was beginning to panic. Seeing the masks after what she had been through was too much. She was practically running, pulling me along.
“I don’t know w-what’s—I just need—Wait…
Where did he go?” She looked around wildly as she slowed, letting out a small cry as she turned and forced herself to look back at me, but not for long.
Her hand rose to her chest, and she swallowed hard, shaking her head.
“That wasn’t him. It wasn’t. And he’s gone.
” Deep pants. “I’m not afraid. I’m… I’m not.
It wasn’t him. I just… I have to go.” Her eyes finally tore from the room to come to me. “Maybe you should stay.”
“What? No way.”
I led us to the double doors, but Penny pulled back.
“I just want to go to the room. You’ve been planning this for months. I won’t ruin that. Stay here.”
“I’m not leaving you alone. You’re terrified.”
My voice was stern. Before I could continue, a man I quickly recognized as one of Bastian’s guards stepped in from not two feet away. Penny glanced at him but put her focus on me.
“I just want to be alone. I know it wasn’t him, but the thought startled me. I’m already getting better. I just want some time by myself.”
“I can take Ms. Taylor back to the room. I can stand outside the door and make sure she’s alright. And she can call if she needs you.”
My lips parted in confusion even though I was already shaking my head. His intentions may have been honorable, but I wasn’t on good terms with Bastian or his men at the moment.
“Thank you for the offer, but I can take Penny to our room.”
“No.” Penny’s hand settled on my shoulder. “Stay, Marian. I’m getting tired anyway, and I need to process. We’ve been walking around for a few hours now. I think a nap and alone time would do me good. Have fun. Tell Jenn I said hello and that I can’t wait to read Blake.”
“Are you sure?”
Her face softened. “You take such good care of me. I’m okay. I promise. I need this time to myself. Please.”
I forced a smile. “Alright. But I’m not staying long. An hour. Two, tops.”
“You’ll stay until…” She glanced at the guard only to turn back to me. “Stay as long as you need.”
My lips tightened as I ultimately nodded.
Penny gave one last look around the room, shuddering the smallest amount as she spun for the door.
The guard followed, and I felt my shoulders sag as I turned back to head for Jenn.
I passed two display tables, not able to stop the concern I felt over Penny.
“Hi, I’m sorry.” A touch to my shoulder had me turning to look at a man with blond hair.
Something about his eyes and voice stopped me in my tracks.
The tall man had his arm around a woman a few inches shorter than him, but he didn’t look familiar.
Both towered over me. It took a moment to focus as he began to talk again.
“Hi, sorry to bother you, but we were wondering if you could take our picture?”
I smiled, looking between them as my brain kept stalling.
“Absolutely.” I took his phone, noticing the camera was already pulled up.
I stepped back as the couple stood next to an author’s banner.
She wasn’t at the table, but they didn’t seem to mind as they posed, pointing to the sign.
And where the man had me questioning why he seemed oddly familiar, I found my gaze fixated on what the couple was wearing.
It had me laughing. “I love your shirts. Stalked and Stalker. That is so awesome.”
“It was his idea.” The woman laughed. “After Jenn’s last book, he couldn’t resist. It was truly genius.”
“Your Jenn fans?” I nearly squealed. “She’s great, isn’t she?”
“The best! We were so happy she was attending here in Miami. We love this convention. We come every year.”
“Five years now,” the husband added. “But I’ve been a fan for nearly a decade. I got Susan hooked.”
They smiled at each other, and my heart warmed. I found my eyes going to the entrance as I searched for Drayton. “I love that. Her male audience has really picked up lately, but it seems you’ve been there from almost the beginning.” I held back the phone, but the man’s hand lifted, stopping me.
“I have. Actually,” He paused. “Can you take one of us in front of Nadia Michelle’s table too? It’s over there by those doors in the back. We were going to get one earlier, but everyone was so busy.”
My lips parted as my stare went to where he had gestured with his head. Jenn was on that side of the room, and I needed to head in that direction anyway. And Drayton would know I’d gravitate to her. He’d come there looking for me.
“Sure.”
“Great.” The wife clapped as her husband pulled her in closer. My stare almost lingered, but I forced it ahead, trying to push away the conflicting feelings that were circling my chest.