Chapter Marian
Marian
Inever wanted to leave the shower. It didn’t matter how much soap I used; I’d never be clean again.
Dirty. I could have still been covered in grime and bodily fluids for as disgusting as I felt.
Steam rolled through, blanketing the enclosed stone space around me as I put more toothpaste on the toothbrush and began the routine for what had to be the tenth time.
I brushed. I gagged. Blood and pink suds circled around the drain, and I moved on.
Soap. Washcloth. More suds. Glowing red skin.
Burning to my private areas. Fire. More increasing the heat until I could barely stand it. Hair. Washing. Scrubbing. No screaming.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Dirty. Yes. More gagging.
Rinse.
Repeat.
“Marian? Are you okay?”
“Go away, Drayton.”
“You’ve been in here for almost an hour. They’re waiting on us. You have to get out and get ready.”
“Go away, Drayton.”
“Marian”
No screaming.
No more crying.
Silence.
Married. I was getting married. To Drayton. To the man I’d spent my entire adult life loving. Missing. Praying for…
I slammed my hand against the faucet, turning off the water.
When I walked around the corner from the small shower, I jerked to a stop.
Drayton held the towel, wearing a tux. The tears came, even though I managed to hold in the sob.
He looked like a dream I’d had a million times.
One I secretly craved more than anything.
But not like this. Not with me so… ruined.
“Jesus.”
Drayton’s eyes traveled over my body, taking in the bruises and cuts I’d seen in the mirror before it had fogged up.
My knees were scabbing up. I was covered in dark purple splotches.
My ribs. My stomach. My thighs. Even my shoulder held imprints of fingertips from one of the guards who had held me down.
The tears were blinding as I covered myself the best I could and walked up. Drayton didn’t speak as he wrapped me in the towel and handed me a pair of panties already lined with a pad. It had me meeting his stare.
“Thank you.”
Drayton may have shrugged as I put them on, but I wouldn’t forget this from a man who should have made me fend for myself.
He didn’t. I was bleeding, and he was taking care of me.
I knew most of the blood was my period on top of the damage, but he was still here.
Still at my side. Conception wasn’t even possible, but that didn’t matter.
Arguing the fact to any of these men was pointless.
They’d still want proof, and I’d fucking give it to them just to be finished with this.
I had to leave. I had to get out of here.
When he led me into the room, I slowed. A wedding dress hung along the back wall.
It was like one I’d never seen. The lace was so delicate looking, hosting a high neckline.
There was silk wrap fastened along the ribs to just below the breasts, and the ballgown was lace covering the ivory, silk material.
It was beyond beautiful, and maybe had I saw this exact dress in a boutique, I would have chosen it.
“I can’t wear that.” My voice got choked up, and I cleared it, trying to hold myself together as I faced Drayton. “I—My face. I’m beat to hell. No wedding dress is going to make this day right.”
“It’s not our day.” He leveled my face up to look at him. “This is their day. It’s not ours. As far as I’m concerned, this is a rehearsal. We’ll do this right when you heal. But for your freedom, we do this for them. Okay?”
Slowly, I nodded. “What about tonight? When we have to…”
Drayton’s thumb stroked my jawline before he seemed to catch himself and stop.
“An heir won’t come of this. I know that given… what time the doctor said it is for you. But I’ll be as easy as I can.” He rolled his eyes, cursing under his breath. “I know this doesn’t make it right but, it’s been a while. A long while. It won’t take me long. Especially with it being you.”
The last was quieter than the rest. I grabbed his hand that was still along my face and pulled it up, kissing to the side of his finger before turning to face the dress. His touch traced over the back of my shoulder, and I turned to look back at Drayton.
“They hurt you everywhere.”
His voice was almost hollow in its anger. He couldn’t hide that as he pulled at the back of the towel for me to lower it even more. I dropped it to just above my ass, listening as he swore under his breath again.
“Do you remember who did this to you?”
I pulled back up the towel, turning back to face him. “Drayton, there were a lot of men. I… I’m not sure I could remember them all. There’s only two that—They were always there. Always participating or watching.”
“Who?”
My head dropped, but Drayton brought it back up, searching my eyes.
“Who were they?”
“David, my original guard. When I saw Penny and ran towards her and the Unavowed, I think he got punished. He was beaten for my actions. That’s what started this. I didn’t find out the other’s name until the end. I think David called him Simon. He was young. Early twenties. Freckles.”
Seconds passed and he gave a solid nod.
“Let’s get you dressed. Think of this as nothing more than rehearsal. It’s not real yet. It’s all an act. A play.”
“Like in Hollywood?”
Drayton paused as he began leading me to the dress. “Exactly. Like Hollywood. Home.”
“Home.”
The word felt odd as I repeated it. Home.
Hollywood. None of this felt real. It didn’t even sound real when I said it.
Even though I was somewhat clear headed now, I was so far away.
This was not normal. Even thinking it, I knew I still wasn’t okay.
Maybe I’d never be again. That pull to return to the void called.
I wanted to do nothing but zone out and disappear. It wasn’t time for that yet.
“Put this on while I get the dress ready.”
I took the strapless bra, turning my back to him, and easing the towel down to place on the bed not far away. I put it on, wincing at the pressure that sat against the top of my ribs.
“Hands up.”
I turned, just in time to see a mass of white lifted above my head.
My arms rose and my lids closed as I breathed through the pain that still existed.
Why had I rejected the shot from the doctor when he offered the pain killer?
Why? Because I hadn’t trusted him. I could barely even have him near me after what had happened.
If Drayton wouldn’t have been there calming me down, I don’t think I would have been able to allow him by me at all.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Drayton was the only one helping me make it through every second. Every fucking breath and ache.
I slid my hands through the sleeves as Drayton moved in behind, tightening the corset enough to hug but not restrict. When he started buttoning up the tiny little buttons, I couldn’t stop the trembling that settled in my bones.
I was getting married. And in an underground trafficking fortress. My future child with Drayton would be bound to this place because of the forced betrothal to the Unavowed’s future heir. They’d be tied in one way or another… to this.
My hand came out to try to steady myself through the wave of vertigo. Drayton’s hand wrapped around my side, and he held me steady, but that didn’t stop me from crying out at the pain.
“I’m sorry. I’m… trying.” I took a few steps, grabbing the dresser as he finished.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t know how you’re still on your feet at all. What you—What they’ve done to you—Fucking shit.” I could feel Drayton’s hands shaking as he went back and tried to fasten the top button. “Do you think yourself capable of murder, Marian?”
I blinked through the question. I didn’t answer as his hand dropped. I turned, facing him as his lips parted at seeing me.
“… Marian… You look—”
My head gave a quick shake, dismissing his conflicted awe.
“Ask me again.”
It took Drayton a moment to collect his thoughts.
“The Unavowed will offer us a gift. It’s customary. I want these two men. I want them dead, and I’m going to push for it. If you won’t kill them, I will. So, I ask you, are you capable of murder? Of revenge? I can do this myself. I’d fucking love to, but there’s no pressure. The option is yours.”
“Those men destroyed me. If revenge is on the table, I want it. This dress would look better covered in red anyway.”
Knocking had both of us looking over. Drayton gave me a nod, heading for the door and pulling it open.
“They’re ready for you.”
The voice had me nearly dropping to the ground.
Sound wavered, and yet, I walked. I took steps forward when all I wanted to do was run.
Scream. Cry. God, had I thought I’d been shattered to nothingness?
I felt the crumbling as I stepped in line with the door.
Drayton was standing there, but I couldn’t look at him.
Not when Joel was eating me alive with those pale blue eyes.
“Marian?”
Full lips pulled back smugly on the side, and I could see Drayton in my peripheral looking between us.
Before I could break my gaze from the fear, Joel was being swung right in my direction.
I flew back, hearing glass shatter behind me as I bumped into a small table.
Drayton threw his weight forward, sending both men sliding across the ground with Drayton on top.
The punches to Joel’s face were solid, and the loud pops came with a speed that hit in cadence with my racing heart.
“You hurt her, didn’t you? You hurt what’s mine?”
Whack!
Whack!
The crunch had my hands jerking to my mouth, but Joel seemed to get strength from the crushing hit.
He spun Drayton, but didn’t have the weight or size Drayton did as Drayton put himself back on top, hitting more.
Hitting even harder. Joel’s arms shot up, trying his best to block the blows.
It had Drayton pushing them over to the side so he could lock on the man’s throat.