Chapter One
“So how did we get here?” Doctor Nelson said as Mal slumped in the chair the doctor indicated. The office was brightly lit. Was that undoubtedly meant to be welcoming? It was the last place Mal wanted to be, but he had no choice. The only thing Mal could think about was Rocky getting well. He wasn’t even sure he was going to be able to get through the questioning without losing his cool. The doctor is trying to help, Mal reminded himself.
“We got here on a private jet from Arrowtown,” he said, rubbing his hands over his face. “We were lucky we had a close friend who had the means to get us here without Rocky having to travel commercial.”
Mal couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a decent night’s sleep. He looked up and said, “I’m sorry, Doc. That was flippant of me. That’s probably not what you meant, but you have to understand how overwhelmed I am right now. Please, tell me. How is Rocky? He’s my only concern.”
“Rocky is just through there.” Doctor Nelson indicated a small area separated from the office by a curtain. “He’s still heavily sedated and I can tell you before we go any further, there is both good and bad news.”
I’m not sure I can handle any more bad news. “ What is it? What’s happened? Is he dying?”
“I don’t think so,” Doctor Nelson said. “And I understand that’s not reassuring, but the good news and the bad news is the same thing. Your Doctor Farriday from Arrowtown was right. Rocky has been cursed.”
Mal felt a shaft of pain through his heart at the same moment he felt an unbearable sense of relief. “I knew something was wrong. I knew this wasn’t typical behavior. I knew just by virtue of the fact that he was getting worse and worse that it had to be something external, and not him just falling apart or going rogue.” Mal broke off, rubbing at his eyes to stop the tears from falling.
“How can we fix him? If this is a curse, it means it can be broken, right? He can be made well again.”
“It’s not that simple,” Doctor Nelson says slowly. “I know that you wish that there was some magic potion or a button we could press or a pill that he could take, and the curse would just disappear, but our knowledge about curses is still so limited. Curses are complex concepts, and for us to be able to treat this one, we need to know what caused it in the first place. How long have you and Rocky known each other?”
“Decades,” Mal said. “Absolutely decades. I refuse to think of what my life was like before Rocky came into it, and I like to think that Rocky feels the same.”
“Are you two mates? That wasn’t in his records.” The doctor glanced at his papers.
“There were times when I thought we were.” Mal gave an embarrassed laugh. “It was just wishful thinking. But Rocky and I have been as close as two people can be who haven’t, or who don’t, sleep in the same bed. Although there have been many times in the past when we would curl up in our shifted forms together just to stay warm.” That was a memory that still made Mal smile.
“So you’ve been with Rocky most of your life?” Doctor Nielsen nodded and made a few notes. “Tell me how you two first met.”
“Rocky saved me.” Mal met Doctor Nelson’s eyes. “I am older than him by a few years, but he was always bigger. An alpha to my omega if you will. Back then…” He cleared the sudden lump in his throat. “Let’s just say I didn’t leave my pack under good circumstances. I had roamed the streets for months, malnourished, cold. I used to think I was lucky because in my human form it was difficult for people back then to realize I was a shifter.”
“No one would mistake you for anything but one now,” Doctor Nelson said kindly.
“I know.” Mal nodded. “That was all because of Rocky and then later Ra and our friends helping to boost my confidence. But back then I didn’t look like a shifter – I was just another unhoused person roaming the streets trying to get work. There was an incident…” Mal took in a shaky breath. “This had better be helping Rocky,” he said, taking another deep inhale.
“There was an incident. In an alley. I’m sure I don’t have to paint you a picture but the men surrounding me that night were out to wreck me in every possible way.” Mal’s whimper came unbidden, and his eyes automatically went to the curtain. “Rocky saved me. He came flying down the alley, all freaking arms and legs, elbows and fists. A gangly kid. He couldn’t have been more than eighteen or nineteen, and he sprinted down this alley and started throwing these idiots around left, right, and center. I’ll never forget it.”
Mal touched the side of his cheek. “There I was huddled down by a dumpster, my clothes torn. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten. And the thing was, Rocky didn’t look any better put together than I did. His clothes were worn and threadbare, but he protected me that day.” Mal still got goosebumps thinking about it. “We have never been apart since. Rocky claimed I was the one who saved him that day, and maybe I did in that he had someone to protect, and I had someone to care for.” Mal shook his head, thinking about Rocky’s admission on the plane. If only I’d known sooner.
“When did you start to think that you might be mates? Did something happen around that time that made you change your mind about your relationship with Rocky?”
Mal looked at the doctor in shock. “It was never anything definitive. We all know how mating works. All of our close friends that we’d ridden with have already found their mates, along with many of the people in Arrowtown, so I do know how it works. My wolf has always been exceptionally grateful to Rocky and absolutely adores him, too. But we know that’s not a mating. If we were mates, Rocky would have felt it, too, and he never said anything… well, not until the plane trip here.”
Sniffing, Mal wiped at his cheeks. “We just never felt the need to be apart. I would tell him I was going to do something, and he’d just tag along, too. Even when he was elected sheriff of Arrowtown, he automatically assumed I was the one who would be handling all his admin stuff. And of course I did. You know, the silly thing is that all I used to worry about was the day when Rocky would meet his mate. I knew I would be left alone, because that’s what happens when wolf shifters find their mates, and that’s all perfectly natural. I was just being selfish.
“But now? If somebody came in and they claimed to be Rocky’s mate and being mated could cure him of whatever he’s been going through all this time, I would kiss that person’s feet and bow out of their lives completely.” Mal could feel his tears forming again. “I just need for him to be well. I would give my life for him to be well. Don’t you understand, Doctor? Rocky is my everything.”
Doctor Nelson was quiet for a moment, scribbling down more notes, and Mal was grateful for the chance to collect himself. You’re not going to help Rocky if you keep going on about yourself all the time, he told himself firmly. Mal could just make out the faint shadowed shape of Rocky’s body on the bed behind the curtain. If he squinted and concentrated, he could just see the gentle rise and fall of Rocky’s chest.
“You can go in and sit with him shortly,” Doctor Nelson said. “But for now, it’s important I get as much information about Rocky, how he lived his life, and anyone he might have upset as quickly as possible. As you know, I can’t keep him sedated for too much longer. It is unfair on his wolf and could cause his wolf spirit to die.”
“If he’s not sedated, the way he is now, he would have to be locked up.” Mal blinked rapidly. “Rocky claims he can’t feel his wolf. When we were on the plane, he said…he said I should let him go, let him die. But I know his wolf spirit is still there. Rocky just can’t feel him right now, that’s all.”
“Hmm.” Doctor Nelson frowned. “He definitely still has his wolf spirit. I could sense that the moment he came in. If he can’t feel that connection we share with our animal sides though, that’s a particularly cruel twist to this curse. What else did he say? I assume he was lucid at the time.”
Mal hesitated. “Rocky was lucid, yes. It only lasted a few moments. He said he could feel the darkness crawling over him even as he was speaking. I got the impression he was trying to shake it off, but that only worked for a few seconds. By the time I got the sedative our doc in Arrowtown had given me for him, he was screaming for the cake in Fergus’s bakery again.”
“Did he say anything else?” Doctor Nelson was prodding gently, and Mal knew he was only trying to help Rocky. But he still felt… resentful, having to share something he had prayed not even Simon and Darwin had heard.
Looking down at his hands, Mal said quietly, “You need to understand some context first. The only time Rocky would hurt me, and that was all on me not him, was when he would make out he was going out to get laid. Face it, he was an alpha wolf. He seemed horny all the time. He would look so fine, dressing up in his good clothes. He’d even comb his hair and trim his facial hair and off he would go, taking a part of my heart with him.
“I knew it was perfectly normal alpha wolf behavior. I understood that Rocky was a free agent, and he…he…” Mal’s eyes were drawn back to the curtain. “I never told him that it hurt me, although since he got his sweet obsession, he hadn’t been doing that at all.”
Mal frowned. “I only just realized that. But anyway, you asked what Rocky said on the plane. He told me, just before the curse hit him again, he said that every time he’d implied that he’d gone and hit on someone else, he hadn’t done anything with those people. He had only acted as if he had around others. He told me he couldn’t do that to me.”
Mal met Doctor Nelson’s kind dark eyes. “What does that mean? I have loved him from the day he saved me. Why did he say that and what does any of that mean?”
“I wish I knew, my new friend.”