CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Myra
I was still staring at Ravi in silence when Sasha, Laney, and Curtis hurried toward us, throwing their ash-covered arms around me.
“You’re okay,” Laney said as she sniffled against my shoulder. “When I looked up and saw you going after Argo, I thought—”
“We thought you’d lost your fucking mind,” Sasha added with a snarl as she pushed me away just enough to stare at me with angry eyes. But they soon warmed as unshed tears filled them and threatened to spill over. “Then I thought we were about to watch you die.”
“You scared the shit out of us,” Curtis said quietly, giving me one last squeeze from behind before moving to stand behind the girls like the guardian he was. “Don’t do it again.”
“I can assure you, I don’t plan on it,” I said, laughing past the emotions rising within me. “I’m not sure heroic deeds suit me.”
“I think they suit you beautifully.” Ravi placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me to face him.
A million things went unspoken between us in that moment that seemed to stretch on for what felt like an eternity; then he pulled me into his chest and hugged me like he might never get the chance again.
“I’m sorry, Myra,” he said through a tightened throat. “I’m sorry to you all. I failed you—”
“You didn’t fail us,” I said, pulling away just enough to see the absolute torment in his expression. “But how did you end up magically tethered to that psycho?”
He sighed hard and his shoulders rounded, and the sight of him so deflated had me wishing I hadn’t asked.
“I did it in the service of a friend… one who is long gone now.” The sad smile he gave me told me to not push him any further on the subject.
Judging by the faces of the others, they felt the same way.
Never once had we seen this kind of crack in our fearless leader’s armor, and it was clear that none of us ever wanted to again.
Instead of pressing him on the matter, I pulled him in tight and hugged him again. “It’s okay, Ravi… we understand.”
Hesitant arms embraced me and hugged me back. “I wish you had come to me with all of this when it happened, Myra,” he said softly as he cupped the back of my head. “That you’d felt like you could come to me.”
“I did come to you,” I whispered against him, “but I just couldn’t tell you what I'd done. It was such a mess, and I was so scared, and there was the whole fae deal thing—I just panicked. I’m so sorry, Ravi…
I never meant for this to land on your doorstep.
” I pulled away and wiped my eyes. “I guess the upside is that it likely won’t be an issue again after tonight. ”
“Yeah,” Laney said, a note of awe in her tone, “Argo won’t even remember what happened since you apparently can do magical mindtricks on people with that kickass power of yours!”
Ravi and I shared a look before he released me so I could face the sprite and the true meaning of my comment. “That’s not quite what I meant by that, Laney.”
Her brow furrowed with confusion for a moment before realization dawned. “Wait… are you saying this is it?” she asked, her bottom lip quivering. “You’re really going to leave us? Tonight?”
I nodded in response until I was sure I could trust my voice enough to reply. “It seems like this Loreleia has the answers we need to find Jemma,” I said gently. “Once we do, I’ll have met my end of the deal, and I’ll get to go home.”
“We’re never going to see you again, are we, Myra?” My silence seemed to be answer enough, and Curtis looped his arm around Laney’s tiny frame as it too began to shake. “You can’t even come back to visit?”
Pain lanced my heart, but I forced a smile that I hoped would ease her obvious sadness. “That’ll be kinda hard to do once I get my tail back, Laney. Legs are surprisingly necessary around here.”
“She has a point, though. It’s not like you couldn’t wash up on shore once in a while to at least say hi,” Sasha said with a wry smile that contradicted the tears running down her cheeks. “Snobby bitch.”
I choked back a laugh—or a sob—I couldn’t really be sure. “I can probably manage that.”
“But what if you don’t make it?” Curtis asked, drawing the ire of those around him. “I’m sorry! I just meant—”
“We know what you meant, Curtis.” Sasha couldn’t have looked more annoyed if she’d tried.
“We were trying to talk around that particular elephant in the room, but I guess we can’t any more.
” She turned her attention back to me. “But he’s right, Myra.
What happens if this harebrained attempt to return to your home doesn’t go as planned and you don’t make it?
We’ll be left up here wondering, never knowing for sure what happened to you because you’re just gone. ”
“I will know.” Yael’s voice was low, and threatening in a strange way as it cut through the neighborhood, drawing our collective attention.
He’d been so quiet I’d all but forgotten he was there, blending into the shadows as though his were present.
We all turned to look at the conviction in his expression.
“How?” I asked, unsure why he was so confident. “Does that mean you’ll be sending a spy to the Deep with me? A lackey to report back to you on the outcome?”
He stared deep into my eyes and merely repeated his sentiment more emphatically. “I will know.”
The weight that hung in the silence that followed his words grew heavier by the second; so heavy I was grateful for Laney’s final question. “So, this really is goodbye, then, isn’t it?” To her credit, she was still holding it together, though barely, tears beginning to well in her eyes.
“It is… for now.”
With that harsh truth impaling whatever facade of strength she’d mustered, she launched toward me once again, wrapped her pale arms around my neck, and cried. “I’m going to miss you so much, Myra. Nothing will be the same around here without you.”
“That might be a good thing,” I replied as my throat began to tighten around my words.
“And I’ll miss you, too.” It felt as though the longer she held me, the more her emotions overwhelmed me, so I pried her off gently and held her by her shoulders to level my gaze on her.
“Don’t ever forget anything I taught you.
And don’t take shit from anyone.” The tiny sprite nodded frantically as she wiped her tears away and straightened her spine like a good little soldier.
“But don’t lose yourself to this place either, Laney.
Your softness is your gift. It makes you special.
Guard it tightly and never surrender it, understand? ”
“I understand,” she replied, still nodding.
“And you,” I said, turning my attention to Sasha, “I’m going to need you to step up and fill my bitch shoes because god knows that once Ravi gets this place up and going again, someone will have to, and Laney isn’t up for that challenge yet—no offense, Laney.”
“None taken.”
“You think you can manage that, Sash?” I asked. “Better than you manage to stay out of the portals?”
A toothy grin spread wide across her face. “Go fuck yourself, Myra.”
My expression mirrored hers. “Perfect.” I turned my attention to Curtis, who stood like a wall behind the girls. “You make sure to keep an eye on these two, new kid. And don’t give them any of your special stash.”
“I can do that,” he replied with a wry smile.
When I looked back at Ravi again, my heart felt like it might stop for good.
The pain in his gentle stare was more than I could take, and I wondered if the vise around my heart was trying to tell me something—trying to anchor me in place so I wouldn’t leave at all.
His arms wrapped around me one final time, enveloping me in love that I hadn’t known since the death of my father.
And as he held me tightly, I tried to will myself to say all the things swirling around in my mind, but my emotions had built a dam hemming those sentiments in.
Sentiments like thank you for saving me. I could never have survived without you.
I love you…
Instead, I held on to him like the lifeline he’d always been and cried until a gentle hand fell upon my back, followed by equally gentle words. “We need to go, little mermaid.”
I nodded my head as I pulled away from Ravi and tried to wipe my sadness from my face. “You’ll take care of Viv, Tam, and Fiona for me, right?” I asked once my throat allowed me to speak again. “And tell them I said goodbye?”
“Of course I will, bitiya.”
My lips pressed to a tight smile as I took a step away from him and the others into Yael’s side.
I looked back at the charred bones of The Riff Raff and wondered what magic, if any, could save it.
Then I looked back at my friends—my family—with their arms around each other, holding one another tightly, and I knew that, either way, they would be all right.
The better question was: would I be?
“I will report back soon,” Yael said to them, saving me from my inability to actually force the word ‘goodbye’ past my lips.
Instead, I just waved as he ushered me toward his car while I folded my arms over the faint burns on my stomach in a weak attempt to hold myself together as I walked away from my friends, my father figure, and the strange life I’d carved out for myself in the Playground.
And with every step I took, I didn’t dare let go.