Chapter 21 #2
I draw in slow breath. “Okay, so yes, there’s a guy who's been…”
Stalking me.
Hunting me through the woods.
Fucking me to within an inch of my life.
“Who I've been seeing. Sort of,” I say.
She nods.
“And…things were pretty good? Or at least, I thought they were. But I think I maybe…well…there was an event, and then after that event, I…”
I groan and drop my face into my hands.
Fuck it.
“OkIsleptwithsomeone!”
Arianna’s brow shoots up as I wince.
“Um…what?” She laughs. “I mean, literally. I have no idea what you just—”
“I slept with someone.”
She grins. “Oh shiiiit. Really?”
I nod, blushing. “I get that it’s weird that I’m not telling you who he is—”
“Dude, don’t feel it’s weird. That's none of my business unless you want it to be.”
I smile wryly. “Well, it’s…weird and whatever because he’s not my boyfriend, and we’re not dating, but—”
“Lena.”
Arianna takes my hands in hers. “It’s your body. Your life. Your decisions to make.” She shrugs. “As long as it’s consensual and legal, who cares what anyone else thinks?”
I smile, but my mind is flashing back to waking up after he fucked me on the cliff, wet between my legs and feeling the unmistakable buzz of a recent orgasm.
Achilles went down on me while I was asleep. Which is on the one hand super fucked up and not even borderline criminal.
…the problem is, it’s also outrageously hot.
So, “consensual and legal”?
Eh…close enough.
“Anyway, afterward, I….” I make a face. “I thanked him,” I groan. “And now he’s…sort of gone radio silent.”
Arianna’s brow furrows. “Did he know it was your first time?”
I nod. “Yes. I just…it was so clingy and—”
“Dude, stop.” She frowns. “I don’t care if you guys are dating, or it’s a situation, or you just wanted to get laid.” Her frown deepens. “Zero communication after you lost your virginity to him is just plain rude!”
I exhale. “That’s not me being weird?”
“No!” she says indignantly. “I mean, how were things left afterward?”
My mouth twists. “I went to the bathroom…after the whole thanking him thing…and when I got back, he was gone.”
She stares at me, and slowly, her mouth pulls to a tight line.
“I lied,” she mutters. “I do want to know who this fucker is, so I can kill him.”
I groan and bury my face in my hands. Ari gets up, quickly walks around the table and sits back down next to me, wrapping me in a hug.
“Seriously, Lena,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry. That’s super shitty. But don’t for a second blame yourself. That’s insane. The asshole got bent out of shape because you thanked him? What, is he allergic to common courtesy?”
It’s a possibility.
She pulls back and looks me in the eye. “Do you…I mean, were you like…”
I shake my head. “Oh, I wanted it. It’s not like he forced me or talked me into it. And we both knew it was just sex.” I lift a shoulder. “I dunno, I’ve always put sex and love into different boxes. Is that weird?”
“Yeah, remember the part where my parents run a sex club?”
I burst out laughing, and keep going until tears run down my cheeks.
“Thank you for listening,” I finally wheeze. “I needed that.”
She grins. “No problem. Look, if there are no feelings involved, maybe he’s just being a dick because he doesn’t want to seem clingy?” She frowns. “Have you tried reaching out to him?”
I shake my head.
Arianna smiles. “Maybe this is just a huge misunderstanding between two dumbasses who are ignoring each other because neither one wants to look clingy.”
Shit.
I hadn't thought of that.
She rolls her eyes at my stunned expression. “Okay, try this. Text him once. If he responds, great. If he doesn’t, well…” She shrugs.
“It is what it is?”
“Bingo,” she grins.
I sigh heavily as I yank out my phone. “For a girl who’s never had a relationship, you are freakishly good at navigating this shit.”
She laughs. “Please don’t forget to recommend my services to all your emotionally damaged friends once I open my practice.”
“So, basically our entire current friend circle?”
Ari giggles and then turns her attention to her phone as I send a message to Achilles.
Me
Hi. Just wanted to touch base.
Fuck.
"Just wanted to touch base?"
I mean seriously, self.
But, it’s sent. It might not the best first message in a week, but whatever.
Me
Totally nothing implied, was just thinking about you.
Shit.
I’m looking clingy again.
I quickly add a third message, clarifying that I’m not trying to trap him into being my boyfriend, or proposing marriage, or wanting to discuss names for our first three children.
Me
I was hoping we could meet again. Like before.
Close. But better be as blunt as possible.
Me
I want you to fuck me like that again.
Okay, we’ve officially wandered into the “desperate whore” part of the forest, but at least I don’t look like a clingy virgin anymore.
When I glance back at my screen the message has a red X and a message next to it.
“Ari?”
“Yeah?” she says, her nose buried in her notes for the quiz tomorrow.
“What does ‘message cannot be delivered at this time’ mean?”
She looks up. “Could be no service.”
I nod.
“But it can, uh, also mean that the receiver blocked you, right?”
Her eyes narrow. “Oh, hell no…”
“Can I borrow your phone for a second?” I mumble.
She nods. “I’m gonna go borrow a fucking gun.”
This is a horrible idea. But it’s like I’m watching myself from outside my body as I enter Achilles’ number into Arianna’s phone and type out a message.
Arianna
Hey, do you have those notes from class the other day?
My heart shatters when his response comes immediately.
Achilles
Who is this?
I feel numb as I stumble to my feet.
“Lena…”
“It’s fine.” I smile weakly. “It’s all good.”
“Lena—”
“Hey, Ari?” I force a smile to my face. “Cone of silence, right?”
She nods. “Of course, but c’mon, sit and—”
“I gotta run,” I blurt, still pasting the world’s fakest smile on my face as I shoulder my bag. “Catch up with you later, yeah?”
I started today confused about the whole Achilles situation.
Then I got angry.
Now, I’m just humiliated.