Chapter 26 #2
“It’s…a control thing,” I say quietly, looking at my hands twisting in my lap.
“And…a power thing. It’s not masochism—” I pause for a second.
“Okay, it might be some masochism. I don’t not like getting hurt, but I don't want to get punched in the face or anything. It’s more that I like giving him total control over me.
Giving up all agency, and being…you know…
” I swallow heavily. “His, in the physical sense. For him to do whatever he wants.” My chest tightens.
“I really like that. Does that make sense?”
They’re both silent as I keep staring at my twisting fingers.
“Or does it make me sound as insane as I think it does?” I say quietly.
“Not at all,” Wren breathes. I lift my eyes and blink when I see the way they’re both looking at me.
It’s not “Wow, you are way more fucked up than we thought”.
It’s more like they're intrigued.
“That doesn’t sound insane,” Ari says thoughtfully, chewing on her lip. “I mean it sounds scary…but I get it.”
Wren blows air through her lips. “Sounds hot as fuck, actually.”
I grin.
“What sounds hot as fuck?”
We all startle, looking up quickly as Lucia walks into the room.
“Just one of Galina’s books,” Wren says with disturbing ease.
Lucia grins as she drops onto the couch Ari is on, across from Wren and me. “Heard. I’ve given up trying to fight it. I’m a MaskTok slut now.” She waggles her brows. “PS, have you guys been following the Velvet Villainess drama?”
Ari’s brow furrows. “Uh, no?”
“She has a co-conspirator now.”
I frown. “What??”
“Facts,” Lucia grins. “She was live-streaming the other day—oh, and she’s totally a Knightsblood student, because she was one-hundred percent filming in Ravencroft again.
” She clears her throat. “Anyway, she was live-streaming, and all of a sudden, this muscled, tattooed guy’s arm with a black glove on his hand shot into the side of the frame and grabbed her by the throat.
She acted all freaked out and then the stream cut off.
Girl knows how to market. I mean, damn.”
I arch a brow. “Huh.”
“You really think she’s a Knightsblood student?” Wren frowns.
“Definitely,” Lucia nods. She glances around the group. “Hey, where’s Galina?”
“Her highness is lounging in a bubble bath,” Arianna giggles. “But she wants us to let her know if we do anything.” She frowns. “What are we doing tonight? I mean, it’s Saturday.”
“Well, Lena’s schedule is clear,” Wren says dryly, biting back a grin.
I shoot her a murderous glare.
“Huh?” Lucia says.
“Nothing,” I grunt. “I had a study group thing that got called off.”
She nods. “Well, if we want, Aaron and Chris told me there’s a rager going down at The Garrison.”
Aaron and Chris are Lucia’s new friends from the party last weekend—the gay guys who made sure she and Galina got home okay.
“It’s a Reckless night, but I guess they’re breaking from their tradition of keeping it club only.” She shrugs. “Maybe they're making up for last weekend?”
Ari frowns. “We really want to go to another Reckless party after the last one?”
“Well,” Wren shrugs, “if we could skip the non-consensual drug use this time, that’d be fun.” She grins. “Ooh, let’s bring Jude. Maybe he and Kirill will beat the shit out of each other again.”
“That was insane,” Lucia shudders.
I glance at her. “You’re not…you know…”
She makes a face. “Still into Jude? Uh, hard no.” She shakes her head. “No offense, I know he’s your cousin, but I think he might actually be a sociopath. Have you heard the rumor that he’s the one who spiked the absinthe?”
I think back to trying to help Jude after the fight, and how he flat-out told me I’d just taken ecstasy. But even Jude isn’t crazy enough to lace the drinks for an entire party.
Right?
“Yikes, that would be above and beyond,” Ari shudders. “Anyway, I personally feel that another Reckless party is probably a bad idea at this point?”
Lucia’s phone dings. She glances at it and snorts. “Ahhh, to be young again.”
“Huh?” Wren asks.
Lucia laughs. “My little brother is texting me pics from this super sloppy looking high school party he’s at.” She rolls her eyes. “Oh boy. Apparently Massimo and Griffin are there, too, Lena.”
That makes sense. Lucia’s younger brother Elio goes to St. Thomas Aquinas along with Massimo, Wren’s little brother Griffin, Damiano and Vincenzo’s kid sister Sofia, and a bunch of other younger siblings of New York-based Knightsblood students.
It’s a Catholic prep school, but like Knightsblood it’s been pretty much co-opted by the mafia families in the city.
Suddenly, Lucia laughs. “Ouch. That’s not a good look.”
I frown. “What?”
“Looks like there’s some Knightsblood representation at this thing, too.” She rolls her eyes and shows her phone to Arianna.
…Who instantly goes pale.
“Lena, you gotta see this!” Lucia laughs.
Ari’s eyes go wide. ““No, she—”
Too late.
Lucia hands me her phone, and a green, venomous snake hisses inside me.
“Achilles Drakos cavorting with high school girls?” Lucia makes a face. “Eek. That’s not great for the Golden Boy image.”
I barely hear her. I’m too busy staring pure death at the photo, complete with kegs, guys taking their shirts off, girls with too much makeup…
…And Achilles, with a very pretty, laughing, drunk-looking blonde hefted over his shoulder.
I stiffly hand the phone to Wren, suddenly numb.
I have to cancel tonight. Something just came up.
It’s fine. Talk later.
I know we’re not a "we".
An "us".
But I think I just realized that to me, we’re more than what I’ve been trying to tell myself we are.
And I’m the only one who feels that way.
“Hey, Lucia?” I smile tightly. “This Reckless party. When does it start?”
Ari frowns. “Lena—”
“Oh, it’s already going,” Lucia shrugs. “Aaron and Chris are there and say it’s lit.”
“Fantastic.”
I stand abruptly as acid burns in my veins.
“Let’s go.”