Chapter 13
THIRTEEN
Allison
Before
Guilt has been gnawing at me all day. Twisting and acidic, burning my insides.
I spent this weekend and all day today avoiding any thoughts of Gabriel.
I’ve told myself to think of something else, to stay distracted and focus on my lessons, my students, grading—anything.
It’s not working. Every time I think I’ve moved past it, images pop back into my mind.
His hands holding me roughly. His tongue dancing with mine. His fingers inside me. The light flashing from yellow to red. The way I came with his name screaming from my mouth. Twice now.
Fuck. It was the most out of control I’ve felt in a very, very long time.
And I fucking loved it.
No. Nope, that’s not me anymore. I am not weak. I am in control. I’ve come so far. I made a life that’s calm, safe, normal.
I can’t fuck that up. Even if it was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.
Brody is safe. Brody is stable. Brody is suburbia and a white kitchen and two-point-five children with a nuclear family.
The type of life I promised myself I’d have.
This is the life I’ve always wanted, always dreamed up.
Abandoned and unwanted foster kids, like me, don’t end up with normal and boring lives.
I’ve done the research, read the statistics. I should be grateful for what I have.
But maybe the perfect life isn’t so perfect after all.
My mind wanders back to my childhood as I stand and pace the room, mindlessly cleaning desktops.
Fear, insecurity, and loneliness swirl with my guilt until I’m nearly sick.
I promised myself I’d find love, have a family, and never be alone again.
Yet here I am, feeling alone in my own marriage.
Blue eyes and a soft smile push their way from the depths of my memory to the forefront of my mind.
A small boy. A promise. A kiss. A moment nearly lost to time.
I stare down at my palm where I’m absentmindedly stroking the scar across my left hand.
“You’re mine. I’m yours. Never alone when we have each other.”
The words of a promise made in the dark bring a smile to my lips for the first time today. Often, I’ve wondered what happened to the small boy from that foster home, but I don’t even know his full name to look him up. I’m sure he’s just another sad statistic.
“Knock, knock.” The words and accompanying sound make me jump where I’m standing across the room and pull me from my spiraling thoughts.
There stands the person I least want to see right now.
He nearly takes up the entire doorway with his wide, muscular shoulders and too easy smile.
His hand is wrapped around the doorframe.
My eyes land on his thick, tattooed fingers—fingers that were inside me just days ago.
I blush at the thought and divert my eyes.
He smirks, clearly enjoying my embarrassment.
“You looked lost in thought,” he adds when I don’t say anything.
How long had he been standing there, watching me, without me even knowing?
“You should probably leave.” I stand and pace the far wall, refusing to look at him. “Friday night was a mistake.”
“And Thursday night?” Gabriel asks with a smirk that makes butterflies take off in my core.
“Also a mistake.”
I worry the cuticle of my thumb with my teeth as I wait for him to say something, anything. The skin tears slightly, causing sharp pain to sting along the corner of my nail. The metallic taste of blood hits my tongue.
“No.”
The sound of the door closing, locking, steps moving across the floor has my eyes flitting up. Gabriel hasn’t left. In fact, he’s sprawled in my desk chair, with his arms perched playfully behind his neck as he leans back.
“No,” he repeats. “I don’t think it was.” He smirks and a small dimple appears in his cheek.
“I’m married,” I state boldly as I take a step forward and place my hands on my hips.
As I briefly look down, I notice that a small speck of blood has fallen from my thumb and landed on my white blouse. I discreetly run the cut along the rough denim of my skirt, letting the slight pain ground me.
Displeasure flicks across Gabriel’s face.
Just a little and just for a moment. He lets out a slow breath before leaning forward and steepling his hands together, elbows resting on my desk.
Annoyance pricks at me as I notice his elbow shift my planner slightly, leaving it crooked.
I like my things in order. Everything neat, everything perfect, everything how it should be.
I’m in control of my things, my life, myself.
He smirks as if he notices my annoyance, which only fuels the growing fire inside me.
“Get on your knees,” he says slowly and directly.
It takes me a moment to process what he’s saying. And when I do, my eyebrows shoot up.
“Excuse you?” I ask incredulously. “We’re at school!”
“The door is locked. We won’t be disturbed. Trust me.”
I want to trust him, to trust someone, and have it mean something. But do I dare?
When I don’t respond, he cocks an eyebrow at me. “I won’t ask nicely a third time,” he leans back, jutting out his chin and leveling me with a dark stare. “Get on your knees and crawl to me.”
“You’ve got to be fu—” my argument dies on my tongue as I watch the desire burning in his eyes.
I am a strong, self-assured, powerful woman. And yet, I can’t seem to stop myself from hiking up my skirt and bending until my knees hit the rough carpet.
“That’s it,” he says with a hint of praise in his tone. “Get out of your own head for a moment and just fucking let go.”
I hate that I’m on my knees. I hate that I’m giving in to this despite my earlier resolve. And most of all, I hate that he’s right. As I kneel on the floor, the coarse carpet digging painfully into my knees, I feel the weight of anxiety lessen on my chest.
“Come here, beautiful,” he beckons, and despite my conscious brain telling me to absolutely not crawl to this man, I find myself sinking forward onto my hands and slowly scooting across the room.
“Fuck,” he groans. “Your ass up in the air like that is almost too much.”
His words send heat to my cheeks. The red curtain of my long hair hides my face as I stare down.
The rough texture of the floor scrapes my skin, just enough to let my mind start to feel lighter, not as full.
I shouldn’t enjoy this, and yet, I feel incredible as I round the desk and look up to see Gabriel staring at me with heated admiration.
I might be on my knees, but it’s clear I’ve got him in the palm of my hand.
“Ali,” he whispers as he swallows. His Adam’s apple bobs and I love the effect I have on him. I can’t remember the last time anyone looked at me this way. “Come here.”
I crawl the last few paces until I’m right between his thighs then sit back up on my knees. I can see the hardening bulge in his pants and it makes my core clench.
“Now what?” I ask as I stroke my fingers gently up his leg. “Now that you’ve got me on my knees, under my own desk, what’s your plan with me?”
A low growl rumbles from his chest as he licks his lips and stares down at me.
“You’re such a dangerous temptation, beautiful.
” He reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my face.
“I tried to stay away. Tried to let you be free. But I just can’t stand to be away from you.
” He leans in until his lips are almost touching mine.
I suck in a sharp breath. “You’re mine and I’m yours. And I’m never letting you go.”
Something about the words seems familiar…
too familiar. But before I can ponder them, his lips are on mine.
He claims my mouth like a man starved. His teeth and tongue push at my lips until I open for him.
His teeth bite down on my lip until I taste the metallic flavor of blood, yet again, and I shriek at the pain.
He immediately dives in, twisting his tongue with mine.
The kiss is punishing, painful pleasure and I can’t get enough.
He pulls back and I whimper at the loss.
“You want more, pretty girl?” Gabriel chuckles as he leans back in the chair.
My eyes flit to the large bulge growing beneath his pants.
He’s seen me, touched me, tasted me. I’m desperate to do the same to him.
My hands slide up his thighs slowly. I gasp as my palm runs along the stiffness beneath his jeans.
I feel him twitch beneath my hand and a small noise escapes my lips.
I reach his belt and move to undo the buckle but he stops me with a hand on my wrist.
“What are you doing, Ali?” he asks with mischievous curiosity.
“Please,” I whimper. “I want to taste you.”
He looks down at me, assessing me, his eyes scanning my face.
“Are you sure?” His fingers brush against my cheek, sweeping hair off my flushed face as he asks.
“Don’t make me beg, Gabriel.” I bite my lower lip and rub my thighs together as I attempt to curb the ache between my legs.
Satisfied with my desperation, he leans back, placing his hands behind his head.
I make quick work of his belt, swiftly undoing the buckle so I can shift his pants and briefs down.
He raises his hips to help me. As I pull the fabric down his thighs, his erection pops free.
I stare for a moment and swallow deeply.
He’s big. Much bigger than Brody.
Nerves and excitement twist in my core. At the tip is something gleaming and shiny—he’s pierced. Fuck. What have I gotten myself into?
He smirks, clearly sensing my hesitation. “What’s wrong? Never had a cock this big, beautiful?”
I don’t answer him. I lick my lips and reposition myself on my knees.
His hand threads into my hair, clutching the strands at the back of my scalp tightly. His other hand moves to his length, holding it as he guides my head down.
“Be a good girl and swallow me down,” he demands as he guides me toward the shimmering tip.
I run my tongue along the tip. It’s soft and warm, but the cool metal is…different, fun. He sucks in a breath as I flick the piercing with the tip of my tongue.
“Such a sweet slut, licking my cock on your knees beneath your desk.” He grunts as his grip on my hair tightens. He pushes me down, demanding more. “You can take more though, can’t you?”
I open my mouth and let him slide inside. His flavor is smoky and salty against my tongue. I moan around his length as he lifts his hips to slide in and out of my mouth.
“Shit, pretty thing,” he groans as he uses his hand in my hair to push me further down.
I gag as his piercing hits the back of my throat.
Spit splatters around my mouth but I don’t mind, in fact, I love the way he’s using me.
“Look at you, taking me so fucking good. You look so gorgeous choking on my cock.”
He punctuates his words with a sharp thrust of his hips that has me reeling backward but he holds me firm.
He thrusts against the sensitive flesh at the back of my throat again and again.
The metal scrapes in the most sinfully delicious way.
I’m certain he’ll leave a bruise that will make it a bitch to swallow anything tomorrow, but I don’t care—not when it feels this intoxicating to watch him lose his composure, his control for me.
My hand snakes down my legs as I desperately seek to relieve the growing need between my thighs. My fingertips graze my clit through the rough lace of my panties.
“Beautiful,” Gabriel growls as he pulls me off his length. I suck in a greedy breath as my airway is unobstructed again. “Are you touching yourself beneath your desk while you suck my cock?”
Heat flushes my cheeks but I can’t stop. My fingers brush against my clit again and I moan.
“Spread your knees,” Gabriel demands. “Let me see.”
I do as he says, spreading my legs and leaning back so he can see me running my fingers across the dark lace in a figure eight pattern.
“Does it feel good?” he asks with heated intensity as he watches me touch myself. His hand begins to stroke his length, using my spit to lube his shaft.
“Yes,” I whimper as I pick up my pace, rubbing fast and chasing my pleasure. “So good.”
“Show me your cunt.” His tone is rough, as if he’s barely holding on. “Pull those panties to the side and let me watch.”
His words are filthy. Yet, I’m desperate to comply. I swiftly slide the lace to the side, exposing my drenched core to the cool air.
“Such a perfect pussy,” he groans as he watches me touch myself. His hand jerks faster and faster, matching my pace as we both chase our release.
“I wanna taste your cum,” I whisper as I lean forward. I take him in my mouth again, sucking him in pace with the tempo of my fingers flicking my clit.
“That’s it,” Gabriel grunts as his hips begin to stutter.
His cock thickens in my throat, pulsing as he nears release. My own pleasure begins to crest and I become completely desperate. Fucking my hand and sucking him down deep beneath my own desk, I ride the high until I crash.
Electrical pleasure shoots through me as my walls contract and wave after wave of release hits me. I scream around Gabriel’s dick, and that seems to do him in. He comes with a muffled cry. Rope after rope of warm cum coats my throat. And I greedily swallow down every last drop.
I become acutely aware that the only sound left in the room is our painting breaths. Slowly, I lean back, sliding his softening shaft from my mouth. I sit back on my knees and smile up at the man who’s turned my entire life on its head. His blue eyes are a swirling sea of stormy blue.
“You were perfect, Princess.” His praise warms a part of me deep down.
I open my mouth to reply but before I can, my phone vibrates against the wooden surface of my desk. My eyes flick to the illuminated screen.
HUBBY: Hey, just landed. Will meet you home after work.
And just like that, the peaceful calm I felt just a moment ago, is shattered.