28. Centuries worth of tears.

28

Centuries worth of tears.

“ In some extremely rare cases of years-long possession (uncontained), hosts have shown signs of acclimatization to the demonic invasion. Not only did their body mutate, but their mind did, too. They became resistant to the demon’s presence, to a degree. Some even postponed their demise, delaying the apparition of a hybrid. Could humanity learn to fight back on a soul-deep level?”

-Extract from the State Exorcist’s Manual , edition of 2047.

CALIFORNIAN HIGH-SPEED RAILWAY, CALIFORNIA, 2047

I bit into Lucifer’s soul ravenously, and his power quivered. It tasted like the first dip in a lake after a long day in the sun. Like sitting in front of the fire on a cold winter night, or a familiar song from childhood resurfacing, beckoning you to remember simpler times.

I took another bite, and memories that weren’t my own replaced my nightmares.

I was small, my feathered wings too heavy for my frail muscles to allow me flight, but the elders told me to be patient. I would soon join them in the purple sky.

I was older, and the world was mine to conquer. My power was growing, and many demons came to challenge me. Like the rest of my people, I was a free spirit. I watched their great battles from the sky and only spilled blood when it pleased me.

I traveled to another world and experienced a soul for the first time. My host fought back and almost bested me. He knew the battlefield, and I was the invader. But in the end, I prevailed, and I stayed with him for a while. I missed Hell.

I visited Earth for the first time. The human tribes were always at war, just like my people, and it was all too familiar. But the beauty of their world was… unparalleled. From their lakes to oceans and green forests. They lived in such abundance, unaware of their luck. I came back, host after host, and I forgot to miss Hell.

I met Lilith, the demon queen of the Chasm. She challenged me and came closer to defeating me than most demons had in years. She was fire incarnate. Beautiful as a snake from Earth, her dark red scales smooth under my hands. She was angry, jealous, envious, ferocious, ravenous. Perfect for all her flaws, and I couldn’t resist her. She hated my white wings, for she couldn’t have her own. I taught her how to travel between worlds, and she hated me a little less.

I watched the rise and fall of human civilizations. I fell in love with many of them. Ridiculous creatures, so small and weak compared to my people, and yet irresistible in their fragility. My heart broke too many times to count, but I came to savor the pain. I understood why so many of the elders failed to come back.

Hell had lost its flavor, but it was still my world, so I always came back. Most demons were all the same, but sometimes one would be born with the same cravings as me. I taught those souls how to travel. How to see beyond our barren world.

A fledgling came to find me. An incubus. His species was dying out, just like mine had, and he was alone. He wanted to learn about the other side, Earth. I could taste his hunger for more, and so I couldn’t refuse him. I loved him like a son.

Years melted into decades, and still my power grew. I devoured souls, and I changed. I forgot who I’d been at the start. My body stayed hidden in a cave in Hell, but my spirit lived on Earth.

But then, one day, I felt the fabric between worlds shake, and I knew something had changed. A gate cracked open, and demons flooded my precious blue world. I needed to act.

I found a boy who could survive my invasion. Often, it took me years to wait for the right host, but I was patient. A ritual called to me, and I answered. The boy was dying. I fed him a little of my power to keep him alive, and I brushed against his soul to make room for mine. He’d experienced so much loneliness in such a brief life. An absent father, an indifferent mother, and cruel brothers. His siblings tormented him, day and night. During my very long existence, I’d learned to recognize the rotted souls. The ones who were just wasting the gift of consciousness. So, I killed them.

The boy was stronger than even I expected. I stayed dormant, lest my power burned him from the inside out, and bid my time.

The little one grew into a man, and I came to care for him. Never had I stayed so long in a host. I recognized the danger. The elders had warned me. All travelers of worlds eventually stop coming back, for some souls are too difficult to part with.

The day had come. Jon was dying, and I couldn’t let him. Centuries of life, and I would be vanquished by my love for a human.

My mind split, and I was two souls. I was Jon, and I was Lucifer.

I was swallowing his soul, bite after bite. His memories were too many to gaze upon, and I only understood them on a surface level.

“No…” I sobbed. I was drowning in tears and blood.

“ Keep going, Jon ,” Lucifer said. “ Do not let me survive, half of a soul. Devour me, and I will become a part of you forever .”

“No… please…”

But he made me do it.

I ate the Light bringer, the Morning Star. My guardian angel and the greatest demon ever to walk the Earth. I drank him up like nectar, and his power burned through my veins, reconstructing my human shell.

When it was done, and I could no longer hear his voice, I knelt amid the wreckage and cried centuries’ worth of tears. The paramedics found me covered in blood, and yet entirely whole and alive. The actual wound wasn’t for all to see. For my soul had endured the worst of it, and I was alone—so alone—for the first time since I was seven-year-old.

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