Chapter 24 #2
Selina gave a small nod, and with that, her two friends were gone from the room. Although she could still hear Lizzy protesting for a good minute or two afterward.
“I thought you were no longer working at this manor,” she said, unable to look at the maid. “His Grace informed me.”
Mary moved to gather up the tea things. “I have been at the dower house. Her Grace still needed me, what with all of the wedding preparations.” The clink of cups and saucers jarred Selina’s ears. “But I will be leaving tomorrow.”
A wave of relief washed over Selina. “I see.”
“I must seek a better opportunity for myself,” Mary said as she turned to Selina and dusted off her apron with her hands. “You should consider it, too.”
“Pardon?”
“I’m sorry if my conduct upset you, My Lady,” Mary replied, “but you have to understand that I was merely behaving as I’d been taught to behave. I was to make myself available to His Grace whenever he pleased, and he liked it when I sought him out. I—”
“I don’t need to hear this,” Selina interrupted, a great weight sinking into her stomach.
It was impossible to see Mary and not think of what had happened in the study and wonder how many others had experienced Philip’s particular talents.
So what? You are the first to marry him. And he did send this woman away. It was his grandmother who kept her around longer.
Surely, that was a sign that Selina was different? Special? The right woman at the right time?
“No, you’re probably right.” Mary sighed. “But you should know the truth before I leave. It’s only fair.”
“What truth?” Selina asked coldly.
What more could there be?
“I can tell you’ve developed feelings for His Grace,” Mary replied, “and it seems that he has feelings for you too. But those feelings aren’t what you think.”
Selina froze, her heart beating a strange rhythm in her chest. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that his desire for you doesn’t stem from affection or romance,” Mary said with a shrug, as if it were a simple statement. “It comes from hatred.”
“Hatred?” Selina coughed.
“Hatred for his father. The reason he wants you, the reason he saw his opportunity when that letter came, is because you, dear Lady Selina, are the only way he can get revenge on his father,” Mary explained, a pitying look in her eyes.
“You can’t rage at a dead man, but you can offend his memory by marrying the daughter of his sworn enemy. ”
Selina shook her head. “You’re lying.”
“I have no reason to,” Mary replied. “You forget that I’ve known His Grace intimately for some time.
There were things he would tell me when we were alone together.
Things about his father and the abuse he suffered under that bastard’s reign.
Terrible things. Torturous things. The kind of things that create a lifelong hatred.
Marrying you is a… tonic for him, I suppose, to finally get back at his father, even if only in his mind. ”
“No… no, that cannot be true.” Selina’s voice cracked, and her eyes pricked.
Philip had been so inviting, so surprisingly gentle, his actions speaking of a true affection blossoming between them. Indeed, did this woman not have every reason to spread untruths? She was the scorned lover, after all.
“I have heard him say so himself,” Mary insisted. “To me, yes, but also to the Duke of Ironcrest. There are undoubtedly others.”
Selina closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I do not believe you, Mary. I think you are trying to hurt me to alleviate your own hurt. I think this is your revenge because you are leaving tomorrow, and you blame me for it.”
Mary picked up the tray of tea things, a sad smile on her lips.
“I’m not the least bit bitter, My Lady. I was tired of the countryside and of always being at His Grace’s beck and call.
Don’t mistake me, I enjoyed our time together.
It would be a lie to say I did not. But I was never going to be any more than just a maid.
It was high time for me to find a position in London.
” She paused. “I just want you to know the truth. Believe me or not, but… I can prove it to you if that’s what you need? ”
Selina had no idea if that was what she needed or if she would be better off staying as far away from this ‘truth’ as possible. The trouble was, now that she knew there was proof to be had, it would bother her until she found out, one way or another.
How could she possibly walk down the aisle to the man she was indeed beginning to fall for if there was even the slightest chance that this was all built on deception and hatred? That was no way to begin a marriage. No way to have a marriage.
“You can prove it?” she said.
Mary nodded. “I can.”
“Then… fine. Prove it.”
“Very good, My Lady. Wait for my instruction.”
As the maid curtseyed and took herself out of the room, Selina could not help but feel as if she had just made a terrible mistake. For if there was proof to be had, it would undoubtedly break her heart.
But I can’t not know.
Surely, it was better to nurse a broken heart once than to spend the rest of her life in a marriage with a man who just saw her as the emblem of his revenge.
Besides, maybe Mary was just bluffing.