24. Mackenzie
These guys thinkthey own me and can control every single part of my life.
The whole mess between them now is down to jealousy, and that means, despite what they might want to believe, feelings are getting involved. Theirs as well as mine. Feelings are dangerous and messy. They say three is a crowd, so what is four? Balanced? Or a disaster unfolding?
I thought I could control this to a degree, and now I’m wondering how.
Dom’s expression is brooding. He’s pissed, as usual, but I can see something else there. He bites his lip, and the flex and unfurling of his hands tells me he’s tense. I think he’s genuinely concerned for my safety.
Good, old-fashioned manipulation is the way to get what I want—their protection. These men are not all that difficult to understand when it comes right down to it. There might be some worrying group dynamics developing, but individually, I should still be able to get them to do what I want to some extent.
Of course, it never occurred to me that it might be one of them who needs protecting.
As individuals, they’re textbook messed up young men. They’re angry, defensive, and have a fuck-ton of issues from terrible parenting. I don’t think they love me. I’m not that stupid, but they do need me. They want me. They desire me. I’ve become their favorite thing.
I might be a toy to them, but I’m a highly valued one, and that gives me leverage. Of course, if they are all going to start fighting over me, that puts me in a vulnerable place. When kids fight over their toys, they often end up breaking them.
I shiver and try to suppress the tendril of fear wrapping itself around me as I contemplate just how precarious my situation is here.
“I’ll be safer with you,” I say softly to Dom. “Here, there are people who hate you and might target me. Those Vipers, for example. They scare me. I trust you both to keep me safe.”
Dom’s expression clears a little, and he nods. Tino isn’t so easy to fool. Deep down, I think he might be the most centered of the three. The one who knows who he is. I don’t know much about his family, but he doesn’t seem to suffer from the same raging daddy issues as Kirill and Dom.
“No,” Tino says. “If shit goes down with Kill and his dad, you most definitely won’t be safer with us.”
“Please,” I whisper. “I want to come. I’ll stay in the car, promise.”
“You promise to stay in the car and not get out no matter what, you can come.” Dom nods once.
“What if I disagree?” Tino snaps.
Oh, Lord, here we go again. It seems the dynamic between these guys is shifting constantly.
They are like three tectonic plates butting up against one another, and I’ve come along and created a dangerous new fault line. Now, we just need to avoid an earthquake, because if one happens, it will damn well be me who falls through the cracks.
“Tino.” I gently put my hand on his forearm. “I’ll stay in the car. I don’t want to be here alone. I don’t feel safe. I need to be with you.” I blink up at him innocently.
It’s not a lie, because I don’t feel safe, but that’s not the reason I want to go. I want to go because I am terrified for Kirill. What if I never see him again? I can’t stand even the thought of it.
“Fine,” Tino says. He shrugs my hand off his arm like an annoying fly and runs his fingers through his hair.
I like it the way it is. A little longer. It’s sexy. On a whim, I step up on my tiptoes and plant a kiss on his lips. He instantly deepens it, taking control and making my head spin.
When he’s done, Dom spins me around and gives me his own kiss. His is harder, but not as deep. As he kisses me, Tino plays with my hair. My nipples peak, and it would be so easy to lose myself in this. I can’t, though.
I pull away from them. “No, we need to get Kirill.”
Dom shakes his head. “Fucking Kill.”
But he moves toward the door. I follow, with Tino bringing up the rear. We move swiftly through the building, a small pack, with me in the center, and the men flanking me like two rabid guard dogs. We must be giving off some serious vibes, as people we pass get out of our way fast, and I catch them turning to one another and exchanging whispers about us behind their hands.
We step out into a beautiful fall day, the gravel crunching beneath our shoes. Dom leads the way to one of the cars, using a fob in his pocket to unlock it, and we all pile in.
The drive is tense and mostly silent. I try to make conversation, but Dom only grunts, and when I turn to look at Tino sitting in the back, he’s bouncing his knee and staring out of the window.
His expression is relaxed enough, but his body language is anything but. He suddenly stops the bouncing of his leg and sinks back in the plush seat, absentmindedly scratching his arm.
We’ve taken one of Nataniele’s many cars. This is a Mercedes and a smooth ride. If Mom stays with Nataniele, she’d be set for life, financially. He’s handsome, too, but he’s fucked up. Still, so is his son, and I’m falling in ever deeper with him and his weirdo friends. How can I judge my mom when I’m doing this, and for what?
My mom is doing it for a noble cause, to save me. I’m doing it for myself. It’s a sickness infesting me, this obsession with these men. It makes me crazy and self-destructive.
They control me and boss me around, and they use me. It’s a fact I must face.
The same way the professor did.
The realization hits me hard. Oh, my God. I’ve always been fucked up. This isn’t my first time getting myself into a deeply disturbed relationship.
I stare out of the window, too, like Tino. Is he out there? Perhaps he’s back at Verona Falls, lurking in those woods. Watching the college. Waiting… What will he do with me if he gets me?
Murder me?
No, I think he’d torture me first. He’d make me his plaything the way the Devils do, but unlike with the Devils so far, he’d hurt me for real. I believe there’s a part of Paxton that deep down and hidden away is pure evil.
Dom, Kill, and Tino are messed up, but they aren’t evil. Or at least that’s the lie I tell myself to allow myself to sleep at night.
It takes twenty minutes for us to reach the small town of Arbington. It’s the closest one for another hour’s drive. Like most of the places around here, it has a population of only a couple of thousand, and Main Street is lined with stores that point toward the outdoors lifestyle that’s so prevalent around these parts—fishing and camping stores. As well as the small-town outdoorsy charm, there’s also an artsy vibe, with a gallery and a theatre.
As we drive slowly through, Dom, Tino, and I all look for Kirill’s car. We pass a guy carving wooden animals on the street corner, and he lifts his head to watch us pass. This place must see its fair share of tourists, though we’re outside of the high season now, but I imagine most of the vehicles they see are a little more mud-splattered and generally built for off-roading.
This certainly doesn’t seem like the sort of place a couple of Russian gangsters would choose to murder a man, but then perhaps that’s why it’s perfect.
I think of all the remote cabins, or the tiny islands in the middle of the vast lakes that are so prevalent around these parts. It would be easy enough for Kirill’s dad to take him somewhere like that and do whatever he wanted without anyone seeing or hearing a thing. If he wanted to hurt Kirill, surely he’d have taken him somewhere like that, not this small town where they’d all stick out like the proverbial sore thumb.
“There,” Tino announces.
He yanks me out of my thoughts and points to a parking lot containing Tino’s car.
“There’s a space a few vehicles down,” Dom mutters as he pulls the car into the large gap.
Dom is already clambering out the door when I put my hand on his arm and stop him. “Wait. He’s right there.”
I point in front of us, into the old-fashioned diner. Sitting at a booth, right by the window, is the unmistakable shape of Kirill. His father sits opposite, and next to him is the massive behemoth who is his security guard.
“Shit,” Tino says as he leans forward, propping his arms on the backrests of both front seats. “Well at least we know he’s not dead. Should we go in?”
“Let’s get the lay of the land,” Dom says. “I don’t think we’d be welcome. It might make things worse for him.”
He reaches across me and opens the glove compartment. He takes out something dark, and I gasp. He’s holding a gun, and he lifts his shirt and pushes the muzzle into the waistband of his jeans.
“Dom?”
“What? Might need it, Duchess. Remember, you’re staying here, no matter what goes down.”
I nod numbly. I’m completely terrified by the gun and the imposing size of the men in the diner. What if there’s a shootout? The thought of blood spattering against the glass takes me back to the moment I’d stabbed that pen into Paxton’s neck. I draw a sharp breath and squeeze my eyes shut, willing the moment to retreat. My heart pounds, and I clench my fists and work to control my breathing, using some of the yoga skills I’ve learned. Thankfully, it does, and I’m excused from a full-blown panic attack, or worse—at least this time.
I open my eyes and focus on Kirill. I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed us in return, but I guess he’s occupied.
I watch them and can see how in a few years, Kirill will be like his father. He’s already big, but he still has that leanness of youth to his frame. Will he be as intimidatingly muscular as his father by the time he’s in his mid-thirties? I can see that he would.
“Is he … laughing?” Tino points to Kirill’s father.
I squint. It’s hard to see clearly into the darkened interior of the diner. It does look as if he’s laughing, though.
“I think he is.”
“Things can’t be going that badly, then,” Tino notes.
“Shall we wait awhile?” Dom drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “Maybe for now, we should just watch from the car and see what happens.”
Tino nods. “Sounds like a plan to me.”
I agree with them. Either of them marching in there is going to make this situation much more dangerous for all involved, especially now Dom has a weapon.
Things don’t look critical. Kirill takes a sip of his drink and nods, and his father laughs again. To anyone who didn’t know them, they might look like a close father and son right now. The only thing indicating something strange is the presence of the huge goon at Kirill’s father’s side.
Dom scoots down in his seat and reaches for the ball cap resting on the console between the two front seats. He puts it on and pulls it down low over his face.
I wriggle down in my seat too, so if either Kirill or his father do glance out the window, I won’t be easy to spot.
“Wake me up if anything happens,” Tino says with a yawn.
He lies down on the back seat and closes his eyes. Must be nice to be able to sleep at a time like this. I roll my eyes and go back to focusing on what is happening outside the car.
I keep my gaze trained on the people in the diner.
Though things might be going well right now, all it will take is one wrong word or look for this all to blow up, and for the diner to become a bloodbath. I can already picture the news reports, how this small, unsuspecting town became the scene of a Russian gangland killing.
No one will have seen it coming.