43. Forty-Three
43
FORTY-THREE
HAVEN
T he nightmares wouldn’t stop plaguing me since Maddie shot me. No matter what I did, they creeped into my dreams of Kai and me, but this time, I was watching from out of my body as a grown woman and no longer a child. I could see when my six-year-old heart broke, and I knew I’d never be the same. I wanted to hug my tiny self and tell her to run and never look back, but I knew there was no escape, so I stood silent and watched as my mother was taken from me.
The dream shifted, and I was back in my body, but now I was older, a teenager. I was walking down a dimly lit hallway, the walls closing in around me. I heard a familiar voice calling my name, but it was distorted, echoing off the walls. I started running, my heart pounding, but the hallway seemed to stretch on forever. Suddenly, I was back in that moment, staring down the barrel of Maddie's gun. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. The gun fired, and I jolted awake, drenched in sweat, my heart racing.
I sat up in bed, trying to catch my breath. The nightmares were getting worse and more vivid. I could still feel the cold metal of the gun pressed against my skin. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand—4:47 a.m.. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, so I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood up. Kai was sleeping in the chair, a habit he’d had since I moved in. He wouldn’t disturb me. Instead, watching me from a distance, ready to comfort me when I’d wake up drenched in sweat and trembling from my demons. I went to the kitchen, hoping a glass of water would calm my nerves.
I stood at the sink, sipping the cool water, thinking about how much my life had changed in just a few weeks. The manor was quiet, except for the occasional radio chatter as guards roamed the corridors. I returned to my room and crawled into bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. I stared up at the ceiling, but I was restless. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I turned on my side and looked at Kai, still asleep in the chair. He looked peaceful, his chest rising and falling with each breath. Throwing the blankets off of me, I approached him.
I’m not sure I knew exactly what I planned on doing, but I needed to do something to scratch this itch that was unrelenting since he came into my life. I needed his hands on me, like a balm to my black soul.
I knelt beside Kai's chair, my fingers hovering over his face, tracing the lines of his jaw without touching. His eyes fluttered open, and those piercing blue orbs locked onto mine. We just stared at each other for a moment, the air between us crackling with tension.
“Can't sleep?” he murmured, his voice rough with exhaustion.
I shook my head, and my throat suddenly dried. “I need…” I trailed off, unsure how to put my desperate longing into words.
But Kai understood. He always did. In one fluid motion, he pulled me onto his lap, his strong arms encircling my waist. I gasped at the sudden contact, my body molding against his like it was made to fit there.
“Tell me what you need, baby,” he whispered, his breath hot against my ear. “I'll give you anything.”
A shudder ran through me at his words. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent—sandalwood and something uniquely Kai. “Make me forget,” I pleaded, my voice muffled against his skin. “Make the nightmares go away.”
His grip on me tightened, and he stood up, effortlessly lifting me. He carried me to the bed and laid me down gently, his body covering mine. His weight was a comforting presence, anchoring me to the here and now.
“I've got you,” he promised, his lips brushing against my forehead. “You're safe with me.”
And then his mouth was on mine, hot and demanding, chasing away the chill of my dreams. I surrendered to his kiss, parting my lips to grant him access. His tongue swept inside and tangled with mine in a sensual dance that set my nerve endings on fire.
His hands roamed my body, slipping under the thin fabric of my nightgown to caress my fevered skin. Every touch, every stroke, sent sparks of pleasure racing through my veins. I arched into him, craving more, needing to be consumed by the flames of desire he ignited within me.
He made quick work of my flimsy nightgown, tossing it aside carelessly. I lay bare before him, exposed and vulnerable, but I felt no shame. As his gaze raked over me, his eyes darkened with lust and something deeper, something that made my heart skip a beat.
“You're so beautiful,” he rasped, his voice thick with emotion. “I don't deserve you.”
I reached up to cup his face, my thumbs stroked his stubbled cheeks. “You're the only one who does,” I told him fiercely. “You're the only one who sees me, all of me, and doesn't run away.”
Kai's expression softened, and he turned his head to press a kiss to my palm. “I'll never run from you, baby.”
His words were a vow, a promise that seared itself onto my heart. I pulled him down to me, claiming his lips in a searing kiss that left us both breathless. Kai’s hands resumed their exploration, skimming over my curves with reverent touches that set my skin ablaze. He traced the swell of my breasts, teasing the sensitive peaks until they pebbled under his fingers. I moaned into his mouth as he rolled my nipples between his fingers, sending jolts of pleasure straight to my core. Breaking the kiss to trail his lips down my neck, he nipped and sucked at my delicate skin. I threaded my fingers through his hair, holding him closer as he blazed a path of fire down my body. He lavished attention on my breasts, licking and sucking until I was writhing beneath him, pleading for more.
And he obliged.
Moving lower, his tongue dipped into my navel before continuing its descent. He settled between my thighs, his breath hot against my aching flesh. I held my breath in anticipation, every nerve in my body thrumming with need.
“Tell me what you need, little lamb.”
His voice was a low rumble that vibrated through my core. I gazed down at him, meeting his intense blue stare. At that moment, I felt stripped bare, not just physically, but emotionally. Kai could see into the depths of my soul all the broken pieces and jagged edges. And yet, he didn't flinch away.
“I need you,” I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper. “I need your mouth on me. I need to feel something other than the pain and the fear.”
A muscle ticked in Kai's jaw, and his eyes flashed with a fierce protectiveness. “I'll make it all go away,” he vowed.
And then his mouth was on me, his tongue delving between my folds to find my most sensitive spot. I cried out at the sudden rush of pleasure, my hips bucking off the bed. But Kai held me steady, his strong hands gripping my thighs as he worked me with his talented mouth.
He alternated between broad strokes of his tongue and gentle flicks against my clit, driving me higher and higher towards the precipice of ecstasy. My fingers tangled in his hair, tugging desperately as I lost myself to the sensations overtaking me.
“Kai, please,” I panted, unsure what I was begging for but knowing I needed more.
He seemed to understand my unspoken plea, sliding one long finger inside me as he continued his sensual assault with his mouth. I keened at the intrusion as my inner walls clenched around him greedily. He pumped his finger slowly, letting me adjust before adding a second.
The stretch burned deliciously, and I rocked my hips to meet his thrusts, chasing the mind-numbing pleasure that was building at my core. He curled his fingers just right, hitting the spot inside me that made stars explode behind my eyelids.
“That's it, baby,” he encouraged against my sensitive flesh. “Come for me. Give me your pain.”
His words were my undoing. With a hoarse cry of his name, I shattered, my body convulsing with the force of my release. Kai coaxed me through the aftershocks, his touches gentle as I floated down from my high.
When I finally regained my senses, Kai was hovering over me, his expression tender as he brushed a strand of sweat-dampened hair from my forehead. I reached for him, pulling him down into a languid kiss that was a poignant mix of gratitude and affection.
“Thank you,” I murmured against his lips when we parted.
Kai's brow furrowed, a flicker of confusion in his eyes. “For what?”
“For being my safe haven," I said softly, tracing the line of his jaw. “For chasing away the darkness, even if only for a little while.”
His gaze turned solemn, and he pressed his forehead to mine. “I’ll always be your safe place, Haven. I promise you that.”
My heart clenched at his words, a bittersweet ache blooming in my chest. In this moment, wrapped in his arms, I could almost believe that promise. But a small, cynical part of me knew that promises were fragile things in our world, easily shattered by the cruel realities we faced. Still, I clung to his vow like a lifeline, desperate for something to hold onto amidst the chaos that had become my life. He had become my anchor, the one constant in the sea of uncertainty and danger.
I pulled him closer, needing to feel his skin against mine, to reassure myself that he was real and not just another figment of my tortured dreams. He came willingly, his body covering mine like a protective shield. We made love slowly, tenderly, savoring each touch and caress as if it might be our last. In the back of my mind, I knew that this stolen moment of peace was fleeting, that soon we would have to face the harsh light of day and all the challenges it would bring.
But for now, I lost myself in Kai, in the way he worshiped my body with reverent hands and passionate kisses. He brought me to the peak again and again, each climax more intense than the last, until I was boneless and sated in his arms.
“My father wants to meet you soon,” he said, breaking the silence.
“What? Why?”
“Seems your brother wasn’t the only one keeping an eye on you. Comes with the job.”
“Your father is the fucking police commissioner, Kai. I can’t. If he’s been watching me, do you know how many charges he could bring against me?”
“He won’t.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because if he tries anything uncouth, I’ll kill him.”
I stared at him as I tried to process his casual threat against his father. “Kai, you can’t just kill your father,” I said softly, cupping his face. “He’s still your blood.”
His jaw clenched under my palm. “Blood means nothing if he tries to hurt you. You’re my family now, Haven. I won’t let anyone take you from me, not even him.”
“What about The Brotherhood? I’m sure there is some sort of retaliation for sons killing their fathers and leaders of the organization.”
A shadow passed over his face at the mention of The Brotherhood. “The Brotherhood has rules, yes. But if my father breaks those rules by threatening you when he knows you’re under my protection, then those rules no longer apply to me. If he moves against you, he’s moving against me. The others will understand that.”
Uncertainty churned in my gut. The politics of mafia-esque families were complex and often brutal. I knew Kai held a high rank, but would it be enough to shield him from the consequences of patricide? Even if it was justified in his eyes?
“I don’t want you to choose between me and your family, Kai. I know how these ‘families’ operate. I’m not worth tearing apart The Brotherhood, and what I know would result in your death.”
His eyes flashed with blue fire as he gripped my face in his hands. “You are worth everything to me. Don’t you get that by now? I would burn the whole fucking world down for you, Haven.”
Kai was lethal in his protectiveness of me. It was a heady feeling, knowing I had that kind of devotion from a man like him. A man who was all hard edges and ruthless power. But when he looked at me, all I saw was tenderness and unwavering loyalty.
I stretched up to press a soft kiss to his lips, trying to calm the simmering violence I could feel coiled in his muscles. “Thank you. For putting me first. No one's ever done that before.”
Something painful flickered in Kai's eyes, there and gone in a flash. "Get used to it, little lamb. You'll always be my first priority. Now and forever."
Forever.
The word echoed in my mind as Kai pulled me back into his arms, tucking me against his heart. Could we really have forever in a world as treacherous as ours? Where death and betrayal lurked around every corner?
I wanted to believe in Kai's promise with every fiber of my being. I wanted our love to be the stuff of legends, unbreakable and eternal. But a small, bitter voice in the back of my head whispered that nothing lasted forever. Especially not in our world. A world where loyalty was bought and sold like a commodity, where bonds were forged and broken on the whims of power-hungry men. I had seen firsthand how quickly everything could change, how the ground could crumble beneath your feet without warning.
But for now, I let myself believe in the shelter of Kai's embrace. I let myself sink into the fantasy that our love could withstand any storm, that we could carve out a piece of happiness in the midst of all the chaos and violence.
We lay tangled together as the first light of dawn began to seep through the curtains, clinging to each other as if we could somehow merge into one being, inseparable and unbreakable.
But all too soon, the outside world intruded. A sharp knock at the door jolted us from our cocoon, and Kai let out a low growl of irritation. He pressed a hard kiss to my forehead before untangling himself from me and stalking to the door, his posture tense and alert.
He cracked open the door, his body blocking my view of whoever was on the other side. I heard the low murmur of voices, too quiet for me to make out the words. But I could read the tension in the line of Kai's shoulders, the way his fists clenched at his sides.
After a moment, he shut the door and turned back to me, his expression grim. “Get dressed. We have to go.”
“Go where?” I asked, my stomach twisted with apprehension as I slid from the bed.
“To see my father.” Kai's jaw ticked as he strode to the closet, pulling out a neatly pressed suit. “He's summoned us for a meeting.”
Ice slithered down my spine at his words. A summons from the head of The Brotherhood was not something to be ignored, even by his own son. Especially not by his own son.
“Why?” I forced the question past my numb lips as I fumbled into my clothes, my fingers clumsy with fear.
“I don't know,” Kai admitted, his voice tight. “But whatever it is, we'll face it together. I won't let him hurt you, Haven. I swear on my life.”
I met his fierce gaze, drawing strength from the unwavering conviction I saw there. Kai would go to war for me, even against his own blood. The knowledge was both thrilling and terrifying. I took a deep breath, squaring my shoulders as I finished dressing, suddenly self-conscious.
What exactly does the daughter of The Brotherhood’s enemy wear to meet one of the top leaders of the most powerful gang in New York?