43. Kirill
Chapter 43
Kirill
Something is going on, and I don’t know what.
It’s Dom’s birthday.
Mackenzie and Tino have agreed to meet us in the den to celebrate Dom turning twenty-two. I’m pleased they’re both out of bed, but they seem to be sharing some kind of secret, and it’s bothering me that I don’t know what it is. I keep catching them exchanging secretive little looks and smiles when they think we’re not looking.
I wonder if it’s something they’ve arranged as a birthday surprise, but I don’t understand why they haven’t included me. I don’t appreciate being left out. Ever since I spent that time in the basement with my Kukla , we’re closer than ever, and this is making me feel pushed out. I want to confront them, but I also don’t want to send either of them back into a downward spiral. At least they are both smiling and happier than we’ve seen them in a long time.
We’ve got some gifts for Dom—a rare collector’s watch, a one-of-a-kind engraved Jones Deluxe handgun, and a giant suctioned dildo, as a spoof. I’m sure he’ll see the funny side. Mackenzie is hanging up a ‘Happy Birthday’ banner, as though Dom is turning two instead of twenty-two. I’m sure he’ll be pleased she’s made the effort, but Tino is hovering around her like she’s a fragile piece of glass he’s worried is going to break.
I know we’ve all been through a lot, but one thing I’ve learned is that Mackenzie is a hell of a lot stronger than we gave her credit for.
She turns her head in my direction and throws me a smile.
Fuck, she looks beautiful today. There’s color back in her cheeks, and her golden blonde hair is clean and shiny. She’s lost weight, and I miss her curves, but I’m sure she’ll get them back now she’s eating again. I’ve ordered a shit ton of food from the nearby town, since our kitchen isn’t fully back up and running, and the table is laid out with pizza and chips and dips. Plus, there’s a huge cupcake stand. Mackenzie has already snagged one of the chocolate cupcakes and wolfed it down. She got frosting on the corner of her mouth, and Tino wiped it off with his finger, and then bopped her on the nose, making her giggle.
I’m so fucking grateful that she seems to have come back to us. These past couple of months have been trying times, but the one thing we’ve all managed to do is stick together. I can’t imagine where we would have ended up if we hadn’t had each other to rely on.
The door cracks open, and we spin around as Dom enters.
“Happy birthday,” we chorus.
Domenic pauses, drags his hand through his hair as he looks around, and then his face splits into a grin. “Fuck, guys, you didn’t need to do this.”
Mackenzie runs up to him. She launches herself at him, and he catches her, her legs hooking around his waist, and her arms around his neck. She kisses him hard.
“We wanted to,” she says when she breaks the kiss. “Happy birthday, baby.”
He kisses her back and then sets her down.
“This looks amazing.”
“We have food,” she says, practically dancing over to the table to indicate the pizza.
Her energy is almost wild, like she’s had five too many shots of espresso. Maybe it’s all the sugar she’s eaten, but my gut tells me it’s something more.
He grins. “Awesome. I’m starving.”
“Food first?” she asks. “Or gifts?”
“Definitely food.”
Is it my imagination, or does her expression fall slightly? She catches Tino’s eye, and he gives her a tiny nod. What the hell are these two up to?
We make short work of all the food between us. Dom and I have a beer, too, but Mackenzie and Tino both go without.
Mack claps her hands. “Gifts now!”
“Okay, okay.” Dom laughs at her enthusiasm.
“What did your dad get you?” I ask.
Dom shrugs. “I think he forgot. It doesn’t matter. It’s not a big deal.”
I can see it kind of is, though, and I feel bad for my friend.
We all sit and watch as he unwraps them. He thanks us for the watch and gun, and then unwraps the giant dildo and laughs. He holds it up and wiggles it up and down. “What am I supposed to do with this thing?”
Mackenzie throws him a cheeky wink. “I can think of a few things.”
He arches his eyebrows. “Oh, yeah?”
The sexual tension simmers in the room. It’s been too long, and we all know it. We hadn’t wanted to push things, though—not with her still grieving and Tino with his head injury. My hand’s been getting way too much use for the past couple of weeks.
Mackenzie shares that same secretive glance with Tino again.
“Actually,” she says slowly, “there is one more gift.”
She takes a breath, and it hits me that she’s nervous. What’s she got to be nervous about?
She continues, “I’ve got something else for you, and I really hope it’s a good birthday present.”
Dom looks as confused as I feel, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who has no idea what’s going on. Tino does, though, I can tell from the tiny smile that tilts the corners of his lips. The son of a bitch. How did he get special insight?
“What is it?” Dom asks.
She licks her lower lip and then glances over at me too. “I guess you could say it’s a present for all of you.”
She pulls a small box from the back pocket of her pants. It’s about the size of a box for a bracelet, and she hands it to Dom. He takes it with a confused smile, and then sets about removing the lid.
Dom freezes, his jaw dropping. He stares down into the box and slowly reaches in and plucks out the item it contains. He holds it up for the rest of us to see. It’s a pregnancy test with the word ‘pregnant’ clearly showing.
I feel like my eyebrows just flew off my head and someone punched the air from my lungs.
For a moment, no one says anything, and then Dom stands and grabs Mackenzie. He kisses her mouth and swings her around, lifting her off her feet, before setting her back down again.
“Holy shit!” he cries. “You’re pregnant? Seriously, you’re pregnant?”
She laughs and nods. “Yes, I am!”
He squeezes her tight. “That’s amazing.”
I’m still stunned. “Are you serious? We’re going to be dads?”
A flutter of worry goes through me. A dad. How do I even know how to be a father? It’s not as though I ever had a good example of one. What if I don’t know how to do this? I know one thing for sure, though—I’ll never hurt my child. I’ll never beat them and make them fear me. I’ll never lock them up as a punishment. I’ll be a safe place for them to come, and I’ll protect them with every cell of my being.
“Yes, and I’m going to be a mom.”
Her blue eyes fill with tears, but I can tell they’re tears of happiness.
I glance over at Tino. He’s grinning. He already knew, the fucker. That’s what all their shared little smiles and glances were about.
“This is the best fucking news I’ve ever heard,” Dom says.
“Is it?” she asks. “Are you sure?”
“Of course!”
She speaks with a warning in her tone. “It’s not going to be easy. There’s my epilepsy to consider. It will be a high-risk pregnancy.”
“We’ll get you the best consultant there is,” Dom says. “We’ll fly them in from New York, if we have to. Money is no problem.”
But she hasn’t finished. “Then there’s the four of us, living here and raising a child. We have to do this together. That’s non-negotiable for me.”
“We’ll make it work.” Dom says, glancing over at the other two, who are nodding in agreement. “There’s enough of us that we can look after a baby between us and still continue with our studies. And it’s not as though we ever have to worry about money.”
She bites her lip. “You all have to be good role models for this child. No more drinking and drugs for Tino…” Tino nods his agreement, and she turns to Dom. “And you can’t keep self-harming, Dom. Our baby can’t see his father hurting himself.”
“I haven’t cut myself for a long time,” Dom says. “I’ve been fighting it, because I love you, and I want to be a better person for you, and for our child.”
She smiles at that. “I’m so proud of you.” She glances around at the rest of us. “Of all of you.” Then she turns back to Domenic. “What do you think your dad is going to say?”
“I don’t think he’s going to be happy that someone is going to be calling him grandad—he’d argue that he’s nowhere near old enough—but there’s not much he can do about that.”
She nods. “I mean, technically, we don’t know who the father is, and I want to keep it that way. Do you think he’ll see himself as the grandad of this baby with that in mind? Or do you think he’ll demand we do a paternity test?”
Dom shakes his head. “He can demand, but I agree with you. If we are all in agreement, then this baby belongs to us all, and my father will have to accept that.”
Tino nods. “Absolutely. We’re all in it together, and this is the best way.”
She glances over at me, the nerves back in her eyes again. “Kirill, you haven’t said much. Do you have any doubts?”
I give my head a shake and get to my feet. I hold my arms out, and she falls into them. I hold her and kiss the top of her head, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.
“I’m happy,” I tell her. “I’m in agreement, too, about the way you want to handle this. It was never really in any doubt that we’d all share this responsibility and the gift that it is.” I pause, and then give her my truth. “I guess I’m just worried at the thought of having to step up and father a real, live human being. I haven’t had much of a role model.”
She tilts her chin up to look at me.
“You’re not your father, Kirill. You’re your own person. I don’t believe for a second that any of the cruelty that existed inside him is inside you.”
I press my lips together. “That’s not true, Kukla . Look at how we treated you.”
She smiles. “Yeah, you were complete assholes, but now you’ve got the rest of your lives to make it up to me.” She takes my hand and places it over her belly. “To make it up to both of us.”
“I will,” I swear solemnly.
“We ought to go tell my father,” Dom says. “He could do with something to look forward to in his life.”
Mackenzie swallows nervously, but she nods. “Come on. Let’s go let Nataniele know he’s going to be a grandfather.”