Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
GRACE
“Y’know, you’re here so often at the moment, maybe you should move in.” Juliet spritzes me with the hairspray again. “It’d make life easier. No more mad dashes at some ungodly hour, or taxis home when money is tight.”
“Arron would probably burn the house down trying to make eggs.”
“He’s a grown man. He can boil a damn egg.”
“You’d think.”
She rolls her eyes. “You baby that man.”
“I mean, the post is open if you’re applying.” I wink.
Wrinkling her nose, she makes this face like she’s about to puke. “Gracie, I love Arron. I do. But it’s never going to happen.”
Laughing, I push away her hand as she goes to zap me with the can of hairspray again and get up. “It’s every girl’s dream for her bestie to marry her brother.”
“Sorry, babe, but I’ve got my eye on a bigger prize.”
“You mean that guy Donovan?”
“Nah. That didn’t go anywhere. It’s okay, though. Plenty more rich dudes in the sea.”
“Yeah.” I busy myself with tidying up the clothes strewn all over Juliet’s bed, thinking about Christian and how I’m equal parts excited to see him tonight, and appalled that I am.
I haven’t told Juliet about my growing feelings, about how confused I am by them, but Juliet and I have always had an almost psychic ability to communicate without words.
“Grace.”
That one word says it all. She sees through me as though my skin is made of tracing paper. I sigh and plunk down on the bed. She sits down beside me, extracting a pair of Elmo socks from my clenched hands.
“You like this guy, huh?”
I shake my head. “No. I hate him. But, God, Juliet, I want him. What kind of person does that make me?”
“Human. And are you sure you hate him, or are telling yourself you do because you think you should?”
“Don’t you think I should? After what he did to Mum and Dad? The grief he’s caused me, Arron, and Uncle Daniel?”
She rests her hand on my thigh. “You and your family deserve the truth, Grace, but you’re also making assumptions without facts. I’m not sure you’re ready for how you’ll feel if what you believe with your whole chest turns out to be false.”
I frown. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that for all we know, Christian could be innocent of any wrongdoing.”
I’m so stunned that a light breeze could knock me over right now. “Juliet, the truth in that HSE report was quashed. There’s only one reason for a rich dude to hide anything, and that’s to protect himself and his interests.”
“I’m sure you’re right, but what if you’re not?”
I push up from the bed, pacing up and down Juliet’s tiny bedroom. “I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. You’ve been on my side the entire time.”
She gets up and stands in my way, stopping my angry stomp.
“I’m still on your side. I’ll always be on your side.
But I have eyes, Grace. I see how you are with this guy.
If he’s guilty, then he deserves to burn in hell, and I will pass you the matches to light the fire.
All I’m saying is be prepared… just in case you find evidence to the contrary. ”
There won’t be any evidence to the contrary and no one will ever convince me otherwise.
“Babe.” She plants her hands on my upper arms. “I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.”
Anger, sudden and hot, rises up in me. I wrench out of her hold.
“Too late for that. I lost my fucking parents, Juliet, and Christian De Vil knows why. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to claw the truth from that man.
Kiss him, sleep with him, marry him, suck his fucking cock twenty times a day as long as at the end of it all, I make him pay for what he did. ”
I storm into the living room, where there’s more room to pace. Betrayal—because that’s what it feels like—tastes bitter on my tongue. At least I’m good and riled now before my date. No chance of my treacherous body winning the war tonight.
“Gracie.” Juliet appears in the doorway, and that’s where she stops, shoulder propped against the doorframe.
“I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, but I’ll never hold something back if I think you need to hear it.
That’s not friendship, that’s enablement.
Christian is hiding something; I’m with you on that.
But what none of us know, until the evidence presents itself, is what that is.
All I’m saying is be prepared to find something that might not align with your beliefs. ”
All the fight goes out of me, and I sink onto the couch. She edges into the room and sits beside me. I lean my head on her shoulder.
“Sorry for being a grouch.”
“You’re not a grouch. You’re grieving, and you desperately want to make some sense out of what happened to your mum and dad.
But here’s the thing. You’re either going to have to find some way to harden your heart and stop yourself falling for this dude, or you’re going to have to accept that you’re setting yourself up to have your heart ripped out of your chest.”
“Such a happy picture you paint.”
I feel her smile even though I can’t see her. “Whatever happens, I’ve got your back. Now, get your shoes on, because I’m sure I heard a car door slam.”
My stomach vaults. The disagreement with Juliet had taken my mind off the evening ahead, but now that’s behind us, it’s slapping me in the face like a seal. Christian told me what he wants to happen tonight, loud and clear.
Whatever you’re wearing, it won’t be for long.
I stuff my feet into a pair of kitten heel sling backs and drift over to the window.
Sure enough, there’s Christian’s car, and the man himself is standing beside it.
As if he senses me looking down, he glances up, and the way he smiles causes my heart to stutter.
Could Juliet have a point? Am I falling for this man, and that’s why I have this contrast between mind and body?
No, it’s not possible. We hardly know each other.
It takes more than a few dates and an expert kisser to fall for someone.
I’m not a woman who loves easily. It’s why Juliet is my closest friend.
My only friend, really. I keep my circle tight, and I like it that way.
If Juliet hadn’t used her extrovert personality to adopt me when we were kids, I’m not sure I’d have any friends as an adult.
It’s clear Christian doesn’t intend to come to the door, still scarred after his run-in with Juliet this morning. I hold up a hand and indicate to him that I’m on my way down.
“This is it.” I take a deep breath through my nose and blow it out through pursed lips.
Juliet reaches out for a hug—one I’m happy to oblige. “If you want out of there at any time, you call. Got it?”
“Got it.”
My knees knock together as I make my way downstairs.
Arron doesn’t know I’m seeing Christian tonight.
He thinks I’m spending the night at Juliet’s, and I’d rather keep it that way.
It’s easier. The closer we get to achieving our initial aim of me marrying Christian, the more worried he seems, and the last thing I need is his worry becoming my worry, knocking me off course.
This is hard enough as it is without taking his concerns onto my shoulders as well as my own.
When I exit the building, Christian pushes off the car and meets me halfway. He bends down, brushes his lips over my cheek, and whispers in my ear, “Beautiful dress. I can’t wait to see it on the floor.”
Warmth unfurls in my abdomen, and my heart rate almost maxes out.
“I’m wearing a chastity belt underneath. I like a man who has to work for it.”
A rumble of laughter echoes in his chest. “I’ll have a pair of bolt cutters on standby.”
See, this is where I’m in trouble. Before I met Christian, I had an unshakable belief that he’d be horrible, self-centered, narcissistic, even.
Arrogant for sure. Plus another dozen at least unflattering words to describe him.
You know what words never made the list?
Funny, kind, thoughtful, interesting, attentive, curious.
He gently takes my elbow and steers me toward the car. Once I’m situated inside, with my belt securely fastened, he closes the door and moves around to the other side. As soon as he gets in, the car eases away from the curb.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere private.” His seat belt snaps shut. “I don’t want to share you with other people tonight.”
More butterflies flood my stomach. I’ve an entire kaleidoscope of them now, enough to open my own butterfly farm. Except they’re not real butterflies. They’re a symbol of how much I want this man, and it scares me. It scares the hell out of me.
“Has your father made any decisions yet?”
He shakes his head. “He will, in his own time. There’s no rushing him, and that’s fine with me now it’s out in the open. I never was all that comfortable with lying to him.”
Well, I’m in a bloody rush. I can hardly say that, though, can I?
From my perspective, the sooner I’m married to Christian, the sooner I’ll have unfettered access to the secrets he’s buried inside that mansion, and the sooner I can get the closure I deserve and expose him for the lying murderer he is.
If that’s what he is. The more time that passes, the greater my uncertainties grow, and the earlier conversation with Juliet has only made my doubts increase.
“What if you get sick of me before we make it down the aisle?”
His gaze skims over me, and even though I’m fully dressed, it makes me feel naked. Not in a nasty way, but in a ‘get me out of these clothes’ way.
“I doubt that will happen, Duchess. Besides, that wouldn’t stop me from marrying you.
We know our mutual attraction won’t last forever, but that’s not an issue.
Both of us are aware of what we’re doing.
You get what you need out of it, and I get what I need.
Attraction doesn’t come into it.” He gives me another sweeping look.
“Although, it’s a benefit I’m not at all unhappy about. ”