Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
CHRISTIAN
It’s a special kind of dread to know your hand has been forced into confessing an error in judgment to your family. Not only that, an error in trust, and in execution. I’ve made so many mistakes I’m drowning in the fucking things.
If Grace and her lunatic uncle hadn’t forced me into this, would I have ever told my family the truth of what led to Nexus’s collapse?
I’m not sure I would. Not because keeping things from them fills me with glee.
It’s more that it shines a light on flaws I’ve tried my hardest to keep hidden.
I’m not dumb, far from it, but I cannot shake the unwavering belief that if any of my brothers or, indeed, my sister had been in charge of Nexus, that building would still be standing today.
Granted, Grania and Drew Taylor would have faced the consequences of their actions, but at least they’d still be breathing, and their children would still have their parents. I know the pain caused by losing a parent. To lose both at the same time must be devastating.
Would my brothers have been taken in by Grace’s deceit if they’d been her target instead of me? Possibly. I guess we’ll never know. But it didn’t happen to them; it happened to me and, once again, it’s made me feel less than in a family of overachievers.
Gingerly, I feel along the bridge of my nose. Definitely broken. Having it set will have to wait. I need to confess to my family before I lose my nerve. It’s not as though I can hide a missing wife.
My chest pinches tight.
Grace.
It’s ridiculous, but I miss her already, even knowing the person I married was a fraud, a phony, a charlatan. Underneath it all, she’s still Grace, the woman I’ve fallen in love with. My wife.
Telling her to run was a necessary evil.
I’m furious at discovering her lies, but I know, given time, I’ll find a way to forgive her.
Love is like that. It’s stupid and makes you do crazy, illogical things.
It’s my family I’m concerned about, especially Xan and Nicholas.
They’re likely to feel duped also, and they will hate that.
I’m unsure what actions her betrayal will force them into, and until I know that, she’s better off far away from here.
And yes, there’s a piece of me that will delight in knowing she’s looking over her shoulder, waiting for me to reappear in her life. It doesn’t matter where she runs to; finding her will be easy. She isn’t George. She doesn’t have the skills nor the wealth to keep her location a secret for long.
And when I’m ready, I’ll confront her.
Alan’s shocked, wide-eyed gaze greets me as I step inside the house.
I raise a hand before he can say anything. “I’m fine. Where’s my father?”
“In his living room.”
“Thanks.” I take off upstairs in search of Tobias.
When he clocks me, his jaw drops, and he shoots to his feet. “What the fuck happened to you?”
“Long story. I need you to gather up everyone and meet me in Dad’s living room.” I pivot, but before I’ve taken a step, Tobias catches up and grips my upper arm.
“Are you okay?”
The concern in his voice makes my throat thicken. I wonder if he’ll still have that concern once he hears the full story.
I nod. “I will be. Just get everyone, okay?”
“Leave it with me.”
He heads in one direction, and I trudge downstairs to Dad’s suite of rooms. As Alan stated, Dad’s in his living room, eyes closed, nursing a glass of whisky, and listening to Chopin.
I clear my throat, alerting him to my presence. “Dad, got a minute?” Understating how long this will take by several hours.
His eyes remain closed, his head swaying in time to the music.
“For you, always. Come in. Sit down.” He motions to one of the many chairs centered around an antique coffee table that belonged to his father.
As I take the one opposite, he opens his eyes, then straightens.
“Good God, Christian. What on earth has happened to you? Have you seen the doctor?”
I grimace. “Not yet. I’m okay. I’ve had worse.”
He gives me one of his special eyebrow raises that speaks volumes. “I’m not sure about that. Care to share?”
“I’ve asked Tobias to round everyone up and meet us here. You all need to hear what I’ve got to say.”
Dad’s spine stiffens, and he sets down his unfinished glass on the table. “You’re worrying me. Are you ill?”
I scratch my neck. “No. It’s not that. It’s—”
“They’re on their way.” Tobias flops onto the couch next to Dad. “I couldn’t find Grace, though.”
An emptiness spreads through my chest. “Don’t worry about Grace.”
“Wifey already knows, huh?” Tobias gives one of his impish grins and nudges my father with his elbow. “Hear that, Dad? We’ve dropped down the pecking order.”
Dad’s eyes narrow, his piercing gaze locked on mine.
He knows something is very wrong, but in typical Dad fashion, he doesn’t dig for information.
He waits patiently. The thought of him being disappointed in me causes a knot to pull tight in my stomach, yet I’m pretty sure that will be the outcome when he learns what I did and the lengths I went to in order to cover it up.
Around five minutes later, my entire family, minus one deceitful wife, is gathered in Dad’s living room. We’ve been through the cacophony of “What the fuck happened to you?” and now they’re all seated, expressions a mixture of confusion and curiosity, waiting for me to spill the beans.
The trouble is, I’m not sure where to start.
“Where’s Grace?” Imogen asks. “Is she okay? Has something happened to her?”
“Grace is fine.” To the best of my knowledge.
I rub my forehead. This is harder than I thought it would be.
“Look, you all know how hard I took Nexus’s collapse, but what you don’t know is why.
” Sucking in a lungful of air, I let it out through pursed lips.
“Nexus collapsed because I took my eye off the ball, trusted too much, and discovered too late that the builder was using inferior materials and skimming off the top.”
Give my family credit, not one of them sucks in a breath or lands an accusatory glare. They remain silent, waiting for me to expand.
“I’d worked with Drew Taylor and his wife on a couple of other projects, and found them good, hardworking, trustworthy people.
But after Nexus collapsed, I did some digging and found out Drew had run up gambling debts with some pretty unsavory characters.
He needed regular cash to keep the wolves from the door.
He used my project as his personal bank, and he and Grania paid the ultimate price. ”
I lower my head and take a second to gather my thoughts. “If I’d kept a closer eye on what was going on, I’d have spotted it earlier and been able to intervene. I fucked up, and two kids lost their parents.”
“Bro, you can’t blame yourself for the actions of others,” Tobias says.
It doesn’t surprise me that he comes to my defense. Out of all of us, he’s the joker in the pack, the softest, the kindest, the most understanding. It’s the others I’m worried about, and they haven’t heard the half of it yet.
“No, but if I’d done my job, then I would’ve discovered what they were up to. Instead, I left them to it, and that’s on me. My mistake gave them the freedom to steal from me. From us.” I rub my lips together and shake my head. “This family doesn’t make mistakes.”
“That’s not true,” Dad says. “None of us are perfect, Christian.”
I lift my chin and seek him out, expecting to find disappointment in his eyes. Instead, all I get is understanding, empathy, compassion. I shift my gaze to the rest of my siblings and their wives. They’re all giving me the same vibes.
“You’re not as flawed as me,” I mutter. “I’m constantly in awe of you all, of the things you juggle without dropping a single ball.”
Nicholas snickers. “You’re fucking joking. I screw things up every single day.”
“But no one dies.”
He glances at Xan, then back at me. “Not true.”
“Okay, I’ll rephrase: no one who doesn’t deserve it dies because of a mistake you made.”
“Is this really what you’ve been hiding all this time?” Xan asks, leaning forward, his hands dangling between his parted thighs.
“I didn’t want you to think less of me.”
“Why would you ever think that, Christian?” Dad asks.
“Because.” I shrug. “You’re all so damned smart.”
“As are you.”
I shake my head. “I don’t feel it. Most of the time I’m treading water and making it look as though I know what I’m doing. I fake confidence on the regular. I’ve lost count of the number of meetings I’ve been in with one or more of you where I can’t follow the conversation.”
Nicholas chuckles. “I can recall at least five occasions where I’ve been in meetings with you, and you’re quoting building regs off the top of your head or discussing changes to planning legislation, and I haven’t got a fucking clue what you’re on about.
We all have our skillsets, Christian. None of us can be experts in everything, but that’s what makes this family so strong.
We know our strengths, and we lean into them.
We also know our weaknesses, and that’s where we let someone else take the lead. ”
“Well said, son.” Dad shifts his gaze to me.
“Christian, I’m in my sixties and I still don’t know what I’m doing half the time.
We’re all just trying to do our best. And as for mistakes…
well, that’s how we learn. If we never make a single error then we can’t grow, either ourselves or our businesses.
I just wish you’d said how you felt earlier, then we could have reassured you. ”
I nod, throat thick. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
For a few moments, silence settles over the room. Their understanding makes me feel as if I’m exhaling after holding my breath for far too long.
“So, are you ever going to tell us who did this to you?” Xan motions to my face.
“I’m getting there.” I look over at Dad. “The text you got from Oscar wasn’t real.”
Dad frowns. “You mean someone got through our encryption?”