Chapter Eight
True to Levi’s word, the pumpkins were delivered safely back to my place right after we arrived.
Not only that, but also a jug of spiced apple cider that I loved at the pumpkin patch.
I don’t know how he did it exactly, but I’m impressed.
Especially since we left our haul with the person at the entrance when we left and they arrived before I could finish changing into a pair of leggings and an old sweater.
It was almost as if he had a man waiting.
Levi shoves Hudson in the shoulder, making him laugh and Walker smile. The three of them sit around my table, looking like they are at home. The tablecloth with bats has been replaced with cut-up trash bags and newspapers. Each man has a different Halloween-themed mug in front of them.
I fight the urge to snap a photo.
They look ridiculous. Three seemingly badass bikers with their cuts hanging off the back of their chairs surrounded by enough Halloween décor, it’s borderline obscene.
Levi looks up and smiles, making my heart race.
“Do you need help?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I’m good. I’ll be right there.”
Turning, I make my way into the pantry and grab what I need. For a split second, I contemplate pulling out some snacks but decide against it since we just ate.
“What do you have there, Pixie?” Walker asks when I walk out of the pantry.
I hand each man a book of different carving designs that have tools attached.
“Obviously you can freehand it if that’s your thing, but I have these premade designs if you want them,” I tell them as I hand them out to them.
Hudson chuckles as he starts to flip through the book. “I haven’t seen one of these since I was a kid. This is awesome. Dibs, I’m doing the wolf howling up at the moon one.”
Levi’s eyebrows wing up. “You had enough kits for all of us? Did you preplan this?”
Ducking my head, I try to hide the fact I’m blushing. I swear to God, I never blushed this much before I met them.
“No, I didn’t preplan this.”
“Then how did you know how many to have?” Levi presses.
Huffing, I look around the table.
Fuck it.
“I could lie and tell you I planned on carving pumpkins with the neighbor kids, but I don’t even have kids on my street. I have enough because I really, really like carving pumpkins.”
All of their eyes widen.
“Shit, so you take this real seriously then?” Hudson asks.
“I do.”
“Well, fuck, I hope there’s not a test at the end. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body,” he says.
I tip my head back and laugh. Leave it to him to lighten the mood.
“I’m serious, I can’t even draw a decent stick person. I’m fucking horrible, and Levi’s worse. Walker’s the only one who stands a chance,” Hudson rambles.
“Don’t get your hopes up. This is a medium I don’t know well,” Walker tells me, making me laugh harder.
Once I finally have myself under control, I wipe under my eyes.
“Guys, it’s not about how good it turns out or how creative you can be. It’s about setting down your phone and disconnecting for a bit. Well, that and because pumpkin seeds are delicious.”
“All right, then tell us what to do,” Levi says as he pushes up his sleeves.
I walk them through how to cut into the tops of the pumpkins and how to scoop everything out from the inside. They drop the seeds into a bowl while the pumpkin guts go off to the sides.
“I forgot how disgusting this felt,” Walker mumbles.
“Yeah, definitely a negative. It’s a sensory nightmare,” I tell him.
“So do you just eat the seeds, or do you do something to them?” Hudson asks.
“You have to bake them first. Every year I experiment and put different seasonings on them to test them out.”
“What’s your favorite?” Levi asks.
“I love a good Cajun-flavored one, but I’m also a sucker for the classic salt, pepper, and garlic combo.”
After our pumpkins are cleaned out, our hands are clean, and our designs are pinned onto the pumpkins, the conversation shifts.
“So darlin’, what are you into romantically?” Hudson asks, catching me off guard.
“Subtle as a brick,” Levi mutters.
I feel myself blush as I push a hole into the pumpkin, following the guided line laid out for me.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t you, though?” Hudson muses.
I think I know what he means, but I’m not sure. I hate it when people are indirect and talk in riddles. I would rather have someone come out and ask what they want to know directly.
“How about you stop beating around the bush and ask what you want to know?”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to take them back. Not because of the question itself but because of how I asked it.
Troy would have laid into me for being what he considered sassy. These guys, though, they laugh. Proving to me just how different they are from my ex.
“Have you ever shared before?” Levi asks, catching me off guard.
Not the question itself, but I would have put money down on it being Hudson.
Do I know about poly relationships? Absolutely. I’ve read enough books about it to have a general idea. My favorite social media influencer, Aurora Blake, has four boyfriends, two of whom are dating each other. Just the other day, I read a book that was vaguely based on her and her men.
Does the idea of these three claiming me, loving me, excite me? One hundred percent. I just never thought it would be possible. Not for me. I never thought that more than one man could possibly want me.
As I look around at all three men while they patiently wait for my answer, I realize that maybe, just maybe, the idea isn’t as far-fetched as I once thought it was.
She licks her bottom lip before she speaks softly. “Have I? No.”
“Is that something you’re interested in?” I ask before anyone else can.
“In theory? It sounds amazing, but I’m not sure I want to do that in real life. I mean, did you see the way people watched us today? I know I’m pretty open about things, but I don’t know if I can handle that.”
My heart beats harder in my chest. I had noticed the looks, but I had hoped she didn’t notice, though. Still, I saw the flash of excitement in her eyes before she dimmed.
“But why?” she asks quietly, after a moment.
“Why, what, Pixie?” Walker rasps.
“Why would you even want to do that with me? I mean, it’s flattering and all, but I can’t even keep one guy. I don’t know how I could satisfy all three of you.”
As soon as the words leave her mouth, Walker growls. My hand clenches around the little plastic knife that I’m using to annihilate the pumpkin in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Hudson shake his head as he frowns.
Jesus Christ, the men before us really did a goddamn number on her.
“That’s not true,” I tell her.
“Bullshit,” Walker hisses.
“Am I being punked right now?” Hudson asks.
We all speak at once, making her eyes widen.
Hudson and Walker open their mouths, but I raise my hand, cutting them off. It’s my job as a leader to make sure everyone is on the same page. That everyone is a willing participant.
“Let me ask again, being intimate with more than one person, sometimes at the same time, is something you’re interested in, yes?” I ask gruffly.
She nods her head as she swallows hard.
“I need your words, Esme.”
“Y-yes,” she says with no hesitation.
I watch as my brothers visibly relax thanks to the one word.
“Okay. I’m going to be honest with you, though, okay? I need you to hear me out.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
“For over a decade, Walker, Hudson, and I have been looking for a woman to share. We have all dated at some point or another, but having two women in one room was a bit much for us. They either got jealous of each other or couldn’t get along.
We vowed that when we settled down, it would be with one woman.
Someone we could all share.” I let out a sigh.
“Because of our lifestyle, sharing is the most convenient thing for us when it comes to a relationship. I won’t lie, these are two of the best men I know, but they are shit boyfriends, and I am too.
Because of our lifestyle, there is no way we can individually give a woman the love and attention she deserves on our own, but when we team up together, we can give her everything and more.
We know that even if one of us is gone, one of the other two has our woman taken care of. Catering to her every need.”
“Really?” she asks softly.
“Really. How does that sound to you?”
I swear my brothers hold their breath as they wait for her answer.
Esme nibbles on her lip and looks anywhere but at us.
I threw a lot at her at once, and as much as I want to rush her, I know I can’t. That wouldn’t be fair. Besides, I need her to give us her answer with a level head.
“I think that sounds amazing…”
“But…” Hudson says, shoulders dropping.
“But I have reservations. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve thought about the three of you and this happening, but I don’t know if I can do a poly-type relationship.
I have no experience with one, and while I know they work, I just don’t know if it’s meant for me.
Like it’s fun to fantasize about, but like I said, I struggle in a monogamous relationship enough as it is, let alone balancing a relationship with three men.
On top of that, I was always told that committed relations and marriage are between a man and a woman.
Obviously, I support the right to choose your partner no matter how they identify or whatever, but anytime I’ve ever thought of my future, it’s been just me and one man.
Not three. This is just a lot and extremely overwhelming. ”
As much as it hurts to hear, I’m not disappointed. It’s reassuring as fuck that she’s cool with gay relationships because I don’t think I could ever walk away from Walker, and it’s nice knowing she’s open to the possibility.
She’s just scared.
Plain and simple. She’s scared of disappointing us. Of not being enough. That and fear of judgment of what others will think. Two things that have been pounded into her genetic makeup long before we came into the picture.
I anticipated this happening.
“I understand that, hell, I get it even.” Her shoulders drop as I speak.
“What if, instead of focusing on the fact that there are three of us and only one of you, how about you focus on dating each of us individually. If you decide that you only have feelings for one of us, there will be no hard feelings, but if you want all three, we’re yours… ”
She blinks at me several times like she never saw my rebuttal coming. Hell, maybe she didn’t. Maybe she thought we would give her an ultimatum. All or nothing.
“I-I don’t know what to say,” she says quietly.
Hudson leans forward and pleads. “Just say yes.”
She looks at him and then Walker as she nibbles on her lower lip.
Walker reaches out and pulls it free. “What do you think, Pixie? Care to get to know my brothers and me a little better?”
Her eyes are filled with worry. “What if I choose one of you? I don’t want to affect you guys’ friendship.”
“You won’t,” I tell her adamantly.
She takes a deep breath and looks at each of us before she nods.
“Okay. I’ll try. I’ll try dating each of you and see where it goes, but I can’t make any promises.”
“That’s all we ask.”
I stand, and the boys follow.
Esme frowns. “Where are you guys going?”
“We’re going to head home now.”
“What, why?” she asks as she gets up.
“Because we just tossed a lot at you, Pixie. We need to give you some space to think about everything we said,” Walker tells her honestly.
“Oh, okay.”
“Do you need help cleaning up?” Hudson asks her.
She shakes her head. “No, I got it. Besides, I need something to do with my hands.”
She walks us to the door. Before we step outside, each of us kisses her cheek.
“We’ll see you soon,” I tell her.
“Night,” she says quietly, shutting the door.
My brothers and I don’t speak until we pull up to our place.
“This will work, right?” Walker asks.
“It will,” I tell him.
It has to.