8
My heart is beating so fast, I can’t believe Manson couldn’t see my chest thumping. I’ll never understand how I managed to keep a straight face during all of that, but thank god I did — Asher was right. I woke up when he put the collar on me. I could’ve told them to stop, screamed, hit them, done any number of things to save myself.
But I didn’t.
I’ve never felt that alive in my life.
With Asher in my mouth and Manson deep in my pussy, I felt whole in a way I never thought was possible. It was better than the video they taunted me with. Better than any fantasy.
And I fucking hate them for it.
I’d hate myself too, but none of this is really my fault. I should be able to rely on Asher to help me when I’m down. What I have is a disorder, it’s not like I can control it or my actions when I’m in the middle of an episode. They’re the ones taking advantage of it, of me. Is it really my fault for enjoying it?
Yeah, it probably is. There’s clearly something wrong with me that modern medicine can’t fix, so all I can do is try to temper my reactions myself.
At least I’m off to a good start.
––––––––
In the morning, I stretch and tuck my tangled hair behind my ear before even opening my eyes. My fingers brush the collar around my neck, bringing last night’s events back to me — but it’s the complete lack of a bedroom door that really shocks me when I finally get up.
Those fucking bastards couldn’t handle the thought of me not coming through that door, so they stole it altogether. I can’t lock something that doesn’t exist.
I have to hand it to them, they’re dedicated to their craft. A little too dedicated. I can hear them mumbling to each other in the kitchen, probably deciding which freedom of mine to take away next, and it makes me want to grab one of those hidden guns and beat them to death with it.
A bullet would be too quick.
“Rhea?” Manson calls. “You awake in there?”
Fuck him. Fuck them both.
Instead of answering, I tiptoe across the creaky floorboards as quietly as I can and climb back into bed. Clearly, I’m half decent at pretending to be asleep when I’m not, and I’m not ready to deal with them yet.
Unfortunately, they’re ready to deal with me.
The shock that radiates from the collar all the way down my body makes my limbs jerk and my heart stop for a moment. The startled cry I let out tells them both I’m wide awake, but they don’t wait for me to come to them.
When they crowd into my room I stare up at Asher’s smirk and Manson’s frown as I try to catch my breath. “Morning,” Ash starts. “How’d our slutty little pet sleep last night?”
Green eyes rake my body slowly, his bottom lip clamped between his teeth in a way that makes me want to kick them right out of his mouth. “I slept fine. I’ll just take the collar off too, you know. We can keep doing this forever.”
Yet when I try to find the latch, my fingers brush along a slick surface instead. “Yeah, good luck with that. Forever sounds great to me.”
Manson looks between us curiously before joining in the conversation. “There’s a lock code,” he admits. “One that only we know.”
If there’s a code, it can be cracked. And if I can’t crack it, I’ll cut the damn thing off with scissors, a saw, whatever I can get my hands on. They seriously underestimate how far I’ll go to fuck them over. “Mmhm. Okay.”
Ash plops down next to me on the bed looking like he’s won. “Every wrong entry will shock you and send a message to our phones. We’d know the second you tried, pet. I don’t think you want to know what that punishment will be.”
“How can it be worse than whatever it is you’re going to do to me anyway?” I say quietly. “I’ll never stop fighting this.”
As if he’s enjoying this, he glances over at Manson so he can answer for him and he looks disappointed when he doesn’t. “Why? You don’t have to fight this.”
“Just tell her about the handcuffs. This argument is pointless.”
Blinking, I look to Manson, hoping he’ll the more reasonable one. “Excuse me?”
“He’s pushing your buttons because he can,” Manson hisses. “Are you really surprised he got handcuffs?”
“They have a chain. You’d be able to move around still, I’m not a monster.”
But he is. They both are.
Every new revelation only confirms it. Asher won’t stop until I’m completely unable to do anything but breathe and serve him. Forever, he said. “Yeah, that’ll make me love you,” I deadpan. “Chain me up, shock me, do whatever you want. But I’m not serving you anymore. Kill me if it bothers you.”
Groaning, Asher shakes his head at me with a disappointed expression. “Why would we ever kill you? Death is permanent absence, and we want to keep you locked up here with us. Do those things add up to you?”
“None of this adds up because you two are complete morons. I had nowhere to go, dumbass. I needed you. If you guys wanted me, all it would’ve taken was a little bit of kindness and I’d have fallen all over myself trying to please you. But you chose violence and hatred, so guess what? That’s what you’ll get.”
Standing, I make it three steps toward the empty doorway before my new collar brings me to my knees. What they did the first time was child’s play, like a test setting. It was nothing compared to the strength of the shock this time.
“Fuck,” Manson whispers. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”
“You heard her,” Ash argues. “It’s too late, and as much as you want to play nice guy here, I saw the way that pained noise she released just now got you hard. She’ll never understand what we need until we force her to see it.”
I glance back at them to see them sharing a dark look I don’t understand, but I don’t think I have to.
They want it to be this way. They want me to hurt, to bleed, to cry. Even Manson, the sweet boy who used to sing me to sleep. They don’t want love, or tenderness, or passion. They already have that with each other. I’m just the toy they stole to torture.
My fingertips twitch with an aftershock of electricity. Maybe if I play along, they’ll hurt me less. The pain isn’t always so bad. Before I ended up here, I liked it rough — choking, slapping, spitting, pinching, biting. It got me off. It brought me to life. So this is just a different kind of pain, right? Electrical, and... emotional. Being torn down to less than human takes its toll.
When Manson tosses Asher the remote, I know he won’t be my hero here. Whatever they’re silently communicating should be enough to scare me, but I find it hard to feel anything at all.
“You want to see nice, pet?” Ash adjusts himself to face me better. “Crawl to me and I’ll show you how nice I can be.”
Yeah fucking right. After he just admitted he doesn’t want that?
Yet the burn scar on my hand reminds me just how far he’ll go to get what he wants, and at this point, I don’t think I can handle another shock like that. It was way worse than I thought. Way stronger than the little zaps from my bracelet. This collar is meant to incapacitate, to harm.
So I crawl.
Eyes lowered, head bowed, dignity somewhere six feet below me, I crawl.
Settling between his legs, I find something I can’t place in his gaze when I look up, but it’s gone the second I blink. “Such a good pet. Do you remember anything about last night?”
He reaches out to move my hair behind my ear, making me want to bite him.
“Nope. Nothing. Did you fuck me again? I thought my morning breath was worse than normal.”
Ash huffs. “Must have been all that cum. Show me what you can do when you’re awake.”
He leans back to brace on his hands like there’s a single chance I’m going to touch him while I’m awake.
But... fuck. I hate it, but the gentle way he pushed my hair back is making me crave more. Is this how I get it? Lowering myself, pretending to want this? Do I even have to fucking pretend?
I don’t get to experience his changes in body language when I’m asleep. The power that comes with having someone’s favorite body part trapped between sharp canines. And if it’s going to happen anyway...
Yeah. There’s something wrong with me. But maybe, just maybe, if I show them what it can be like if they treat me well, they won’t hurt me.
I know where the guns are if this little plan fails.
“You want me to suck you, big brother?” I ask, shifting to sit on my knees as I run my fingertips up his leg. “Is that what you want?”
Raw desire flashes in his eyes, a kind you can’t fake or replicate, and I truly don’t know how to feel about it. “Yes.”
It’s so clipped and almost vulnerable compared to his usual responses, but it might be the first honest thing he’s ever said that didn’t cut me down.
Fine. I can play his little game, especially if it keeps me out of handcuffs.
I’ll play it better than he could’ve dreamed.
“I’m nervous,” I say quietly, reaching up with pouty lips as I slowly pull the tie on his sweats. “You’re so big. Do you think it will fit in my tight little throat?”
It doesn’t matter what men say, their cocks like to answer for them. He could deny what he wants until he’s blue in the face, but I see and feel the way it jerks in anticipation. “It’ll fit, pet. We’ll make it fit.”
Manson squirms from the corner of my eye, but I think I’m angrier with him right now than I am Asher. I expected this shit from my brother. I didn’t expect it from Manson.
“Promise?” I beg, sliding his sweats down and licking my lips when I see him spring free. I may hate him, and this might make me a little nauseous, but he has a pretty cock. There’s no denying that. “How do you like it, Ash? Slow, like I’m savoring every second, or fast like I’ll die without your cum?”
“Shit,” he breathes. “Both. Savor it first, Rhea. Lick it. Come on.”
There’s a hint of desperation in his tone I’ve never heard before, but the desire that pools in my gut from it is stopped short when I notice he’s still clenching around the remote.
That’s okay. I can still stop him from using it.
Meeting his eyes, I take a moment — as many breaths as I dare — to remember a time when he wasn’t my enemy. When I felt a possible connection there. A friend. A brother. A protector. It was an incredibly short-lived time, but it existed. And the twisted parts of my soul that wanted comfort from him even after he tried to kill me are still alive and well, making it easier than I’ll ever admit out loud to lean in and kiss the head of his cock.
It makes my clit throb.
Sliding my tongue out, I explore the veins on his shaft, the smooth expanse of his balls, the little flap of skin just under the head.
I want more.
Without being prompted, I suck him in slowly, teasingly, letting him stretch my mouth until it’s not Asher in front of me anymore. Not the real one, anyway. It’s the Asher I wish existed. The Asher I crave. The Asher I deserve.
And he... he deserves to be savored.
“Holy fucking hell,” he groans, hips moving of their own accord in search of more. “She really can be so... fucking... good when she wants.”
He hisses when I suck on the head, twitches when I lick his slit, then nearly lifts himself off the bed as I suck him in as far as I can.
Yeah, he wasn’t prepared. He can handle me when he knows what to expect, when he thinks he’s in control. But here, even collared, trapped, and threatened... I’m the one with the power.
He mumbles something incoherent to Manson, his breathing heavier and heavier with each passing second. I swear I hear him whisper, “I fucking can’t” just before he lets out the most pathetic moan I’ve ever heard leave his lips.
Gotcha.
Fuck, it turns me on. I can’t deny it. Hearing him come apart like this has me reaching between my legs to touch my desperate clit, and the first little bit of friction has my throat closing around him.
Wrapping my other hand around his length, I spit on his cock and choke myself on it until I’m gagging and drooling all over him.
“Fucking girl,” he hisses, hand tightening in my hair so he can fuck my throat and lose control. “Gonna swallow my cum, pet?”
I’m earning it, so yes. Or... maybe not. I might have a better idea.
Rubbing my clit faster, I let him use me as I slowly lift my eyes to his again. I want him to see the difference — the desire in my eyes when I’m awake versus the cold, dead nothing when I’m asleep.
Something about it sends him over. Asher comes hard with a growl, hips snapping so deep cum oozes into my throat, but when he takes his next breath and pulls out slightly I taste him all over my tongue. “Goddamn, Rhea. That was... fuck.”
I wasn’t done.
Showing him the mess on my tongue, I pivot to the traitor amongst us and crawl to him too, making sure he can see.
I don’t talk or bother with teasing as I pull him out and lick him slowly, leaving a trail of Asher’s cum along Manson’s shaft.
It’s harder to hold eye contact with him, but I do it as I ease him into my mouth and slip my hand back between my thighs.
“I can get used to this,” Manson says with a moan. “Is she touching herself still?”
“Yeah.” The fact that Asher’s voice is still growly and breathless spurs me on. “She loves sucking dick.”
What they don’t seem to grasp is that if I can scrape enough satisfaction out of this, I won’t have a fucking episode tonight. I can at least control that much.
And yeah. I actually do love sucking dick.
The orgasm hits me as I feel Manson’s fist tangle in my hair. My hips roll, I lose rhythm, and the whole world goes quiet for a moment.
I tune out whatever conversation they’re having about it and ride that high for as long as I can, coming to only when Manson snaps his hips hard enough to choke me. “So fucking hot. You just need some affection sometimes, huh, baby? I can do that.”
Sometimes?
Like once in a blue moon?
I nearly bite his dick off, but I’m proving a point. Reaching up with my messy hand, I rub my cum all over his balls as I deepthroat him, and the hum I let out makes him groan.
“Damn, how’d you last that long? I already want to blow.” Ash laughs under his breath, and I know it’s because he really didn’t last long at all. It’s almost like neither of them have been blown by someone who loves doing it.
“Shut up,” Manson hisses, squirming under me as he tries to pull me back a little bit.
Not today, Satan. You’re gonna blow just like your boyfriend did.
Tugging against his grip, I get him back into my mouth and suck like I’m dying for it, and the little fucker breaks. I see it in his eyes.
“Don’t... ever... fucking... speak of this,” he grumbles, grabbing me so just the head of his cock is in my mouth and he can come all over my tongue. I feel every pulse, every spurt of cum that paints the roof of my mouth and drips down, making a mess of me. In that tiny little moment, it feels good. I feel good.
And then I remember who I just tried so hard to please.
Swallowing it all, I sit back on my ass and look up at the two of them. I suppose I should be thankful that neither of them decided to shock me during that just to see how it would feel with their cocks in my throat, but something tells me they were too distracted to think of it.
“Feel better?” I ask, voice ragged and weak.
“Hell yeah,” Manson croaks just before Ash chimes in.
“Do you? Let me see your fingers.”
“I rubbed most of it on Manson’s balls, but here.” I wiggle them at him, still shiny and wet, then suck them into my mouth.
“Little shit,” he hisses with a frown. “I was going to tell you to do that.”
Good. Another little victory. “Whoops.”
“Whatever.” Ash stands from my bed and moves toward the hallway. “We have to work.”
Manson shoves himself away and watches him leave, then reaches down to help me to my feet. “Remember when I said this didn’t have to be all bad? That was nice... right?”
“Oh yeah, super nice with your little friend over there deathgripping the thing that sends a kajillion volts of electricity through me. Super nice when it was done to prove you two will always have the upper hand. Super nice that neither of you touched me at all except to make yourselves feel better. It was wonderful, Manson. Ten outta ten. Have fun at work today.” I step back, gesturing for him to leave. “I’d tell you not to let the door hit you where the good lord split you, but you stole it.”
He looks as if I just slapped him in the face, but with his signature scowl in place, he brushes past me without another word.
I probably should’ve kept my mouth shut.