32
Manson
It’s been three weeks since we let Rhea free and I’ve hated every second of it. I’m still mad at Asher about it, but I see what it’s doing to him too. The other night I couldn’t sleep so I went to lay in her bed to see if smelling her would help, and I found Ash was already in there.
We curled up together in search of comfort, and based on the scent I got off the pillow, it wasn’t his first time sleeping in there. I didn’t realize how pathetic we were, but here we are.
We haven’t even fucked since she left.
I’m not sure if we’re punishing ourselves or if the void we feel in place of her hurts too much, but we’ve cuddled more than anything, and I’m not even mad at it. I just miss her.
Hope comes and goes in waves, one minute we’re both convinced she’s going to come back any second and the next we’re positive she isn’t. And why would she? We didn’t get to show her how good we could really be for long enough, and I’d bet she thinks we got rid of her because we couldn’t keep that up. I wasn’t sure Ash could at the time, but now that I see what the loss of her has done to him, I know he could have. He was tired of being the devil in her story, I saw it in his relief when he let that shit go and I still see it today as I watch him stare at her on our tv screen. I could have kissed him when he told me about the hidden cameras, but because I was still mad at him, I didn’t.
“She’s probably not going anywhere today,” I offer. “Let’s go finish up in there so it’s all ready.”
Asher nods quietly and turns off the television, following me down the hallway with his head hanging low. I got this idea a couple weeks ago to turn her old bedroom into a space she’d love if she returned, and when Ash and I are in here working, it’s the only time I see any sort of light in his eyes. We’ve turned one entire wall into bookshelves, turned her bed into a reading nook since she’d be sleeping with us anyway, and both of us watched about nine hours of YouTube so we could learn how to paint her ceiling to look like the stars. It’s not perfect, but with the projector we got, I know it’ll look really nice in here whenever she wants to have some time to herself.
There isn’t much left for us to do since we’ve spent so much time on it, but I keep Ash busy setting up the desk as I sign her new tv into all of our streaming services. “What else do you think she’d like?”
With the look on his face, I don’t think he’s feeling as much hope today as he was yesterday, but he humors me anyway. “Uh... maybe a record player? I don’t know if she still has any but I remember she used to like my dad’s. I actually still have it in the garage. Maybe we could clean that up and pick up some records? I don’t know.”
“That’s a good idea. What about a dog?”
Asher chuckles lightly. “I don’t know, but you’ve always wanted one. If she wants one I think we should wait until she’s home to get it. You two could choose together.”
He’s a big ol’ softy when it comes to dogs and cats, but he usually pretends he doesn’t want one when I bring it up. Deep down I know it’s because he doesn’t want to deal with losing them. It’s also why he keeps himself glued to my side, and why he had to lock Rhea up so she could never leave. My guy has abandonment issues I don’t think he’s ever worked through, but I’m not about to make him. I don’t plan on leaving his side anyway.
Somehow, I know a dog would be good for all of us though.
Pulling out my phone, I start to text Blair again to ask if she thinks Rhea will want a dog but I stop myself before pressing send. I doubt our girl would have opened up about that anyway so I backspace all of that and just ask how she’s doing.
Blair : She’s a woman. Of course she’s fine
She doesn’t answer our texts as often as we’d like so I decide not to argue with her.
Me : Does she miss us?
No response.
Me : At least tell me what she’s doing right now. Please.
I hate that I basically just begged, but when she responds, I know it was worth it.
Blair : No clue. She isn’t home right now.
What?
Something on my face has Ash rushing over to read my text messages, and after a shared look, I hastily swipe over to the tracker app and find her in fucking Bayside. “What the fuck is she doing there?”
Asher snatches the phone to zoom in a little closer, then pulls out his phone to call her. No answer. “She wouldn’t just go there, Manson.”
I’ve never heard Ash sound more menacing, and for the sake of whoever she’s with right now, I have to hope this isn’t nefarious. “Get the exact address,” I rush out, running over to get my shoes and keys to the truck, and when I find Asher again he’s fully dressed in black with multiple guns loaded.
“She’s at one of Julian’s hideouts,” he hisses. “We should have never let him fucking live!”
He kicks his desk so hard it puts a hole in the wall, telling me all I need to know. Rhea is in danger, and if something bad has happened to her, I know not only are people going to die in the most brutal way possible... this will also be the last day of our lives.
We’ll follow her in death if we have to.