Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
IMOGEN
My emotions right now remind me of riding the Tilt-A-Whirl at a fairground that used to come to town once a year. I’m all over the place, thrown from side to side, up and down, round and round. I feel sick with it, but it’s not the kind of sick that makes me want to throw up. It’s more a slow realization that I’ve been treading a path so focused on my goal, I haven’t realized the destination has changed.
Alexander sending Emma home might be up there with the cruelest thing he’s done to me. To let me have a day with her after weeks of isolation, then rip her away when I think I’ve got another few days to bask in the love of my friend is beyond heartless. Yet if I’m reading him right, he sounds as though he’s regretting it, or at least he’s realized just how lonely I’ve been and is willing to make concessions.
We’ve both been cruel to one another, both pushed at the boundaries of our marriage. I know my reasons, but I don’t know his other than his obvious reticence to marry me in the first place.
“You said you had your reasons for sending Emma away. ”
“Yes.” He dips his chin once.
“What are they?”
He bites his lip and shifts on the mattress. He’s nervous. Alexander doesn’t get nervous. “I know I’m culpable in making your first few weeks here difficult. I’m trying to make amends.”
“By sending my best friend away when she’d only just arrived?”
“Her being here would be a distraction. This is all new for you, and having her here for a few days would only make it harder when she went home. I thought it for the best.”
He’s lying through his perfect, white teeth. “I don’t buy it.”
A smile tugs at his lips, and he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. The intimacy of it pulls at my stomach. He’s been so frugal with his touch, and for someone who is tactile, the lack of human contact these last few weeks has been akin to torture.
“Smart girl. Okay, how about this. I spoke to someone today, and they made me consider something I hadn’t until now. Please don’t ask me to explain further. I’m not ready to yet, but it’s made me look at things between us from a different angle. I’m not sure I have the answers I’m looking for just yet, but I’m working on it.”
“None of that explains why you sent Emma home.”
He takes a deep breath in. “I sent her home because I want you to myself. I’ve had my reasons why I’ve been resistant to our marriage, but I’d like to get to know you better, and I can’t do that with your friend hanging around.”
“What reasons?”
He tips up my chin, then runs the backs of his fingers across the slope of my neck. A shiver rolls down my spine. I like it. Too much. Nothing’s changed for me at least. I can’t stay married to Alexander. My entire identity is centered around the desire to make a difference, to use my degree to better the world we live in. I’ve already broached the subject of a job with Alexander, and he said no.
“I will tell you when the time is right.”
I run my fingers along my bottom lip, drawing his gaze. His breathing shortens, a faint flush stealing over his cheeks. He moves in to kiss me. I press a hand to his chest, pushing back on him.
“I want to work. You say you’re keen for me to settle into my life here. Well, that’s what’ll make it easier for me.”
His eyes shutter, and I prepare myself for an argument. This time, though, I’m not backing down. For the first time in weeks, I’m seeing clearly.
Alexander isn’t going to divorce me.
It doesn’t matter what I do, what I say, how many problems I cause him, or the number of times I wax off his eyebrows (or more painful bodily areas). He’s too steeped in duty to take that step. Add to that the mysterious person he spoke with today who’s made him want to give our marriage a try, and my goal is doomed to failure.
If I’m destined to remain married to Alexander, I have to work. I can’t spend the rest of my life rattling around this mansion with nothing to keep my brain active. I’ll go crazy. Without working, without contributing to society in some way, who am I?
“Zenith, right?”
I stare at him, incredulous. Does he know about the job? Has he known this entire time? Has my plan to force him into divorcing me always been so obvious ?
Don’t show your hand. Take it slow. He may know nothing.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, you donated a rather sizable sum to them using my credit card, and you told me you’d interned at their Los Angeles offices. It makes sense you’d want to seek out employment opportunities with someone you’re familiar with.”
My heart rate slows. It’s okay . He doesn’t know I already have a job offer on the table. I can turn this to my advantage.
“Zenith’s mission statement aligns well with my beliefs. They’re a commercial company, but they don’t make all their decisions using the mighty dollar as a guide. When I interned, they were looking at a project in Malawi in Africa. It aimed to build a model sustainable village using the latest techniques. If it’s successful, they plan to roll it out to more locations.”
“That’s a fine objective.”
“It is.” I nibble my lip. “So, I can apply for a job with them?”
“Let me talk to Christian,” he says. “He runs the building and architecture side of our corporation. I’d like to know his take on this company.” He runs a lock of my hair through his fingers. “If they’re getting my wife, then I want to know they’ll appreciate her.”
A wave of relief rushes through me. It’s not a no. In fact, it’s almost a yes. Christian won’t find anything bad about Zenith, which means, as long as I can make it look as though I applied, interviewed, and got the job after I married Alexander, I’m home free.
The fact the job requires me to spend some time in Africa? I’ll keep that nugget to myself for now. What Alexander doesn’t know can’t influence his decision. When he finds out, he won’t like it, but hopefully by then it’ll be too late.
“Thank you.”
Warmth creeps into his eyes in a way I haven’t seen before. Curving a hand around the back of my neck, he leans over me, his lips mere inches from mine. I breathe in the scent of his cologne, the urge to press my legs together engulfing me.
Everything I’ve done since I arrived has been futile, but for some inexplicable reason, I’m not as devastated as I thought I would be. If Alexander delivers on the job front, will it really be so bad to be his wife and to make Oakleigh my home? No, I don’t believe it will.
Besides, my attraction to my husband isn’t in doubt. By resisting him, I’m only making myself suffer.
“Have we negotiated a truce?” I could be mistaken, but there’s a hint of hope in his tone, in the way he breathes the words.
“Let’s see if you deliver on the job front first.”
“Duly noted.” He runs his nose along my cheek, breathing in deeply. “I promise I’ll keep you occupied in the meantime.”
His lips brush over mine, light as a feather. My stomach twists and convulses. On autopilot, I entwine my fingertips into his soft, wavy hair and pull him closer, opening my mouth beneath his. An electric tingle shoots down my spine, and my clit pulses with excitement.
Too embarrassed to ask him for what I want, I raise my hips, hoping he’ll pick up on the urgency of just how much I need him to touch me there.
He breaks away from my mouth, kissing my neck instead. Ohh, I like that. Shivers race through my body, and I grind my hips in a circle, desperate for friction.
“Please,” I whisper, my voice needy.
“Are you still mad at me for sending Emma home?” The rich, velvet quality of his voice causes another violent clench of my abdominals.
“Yes.” I’m not as mad as I was, though.
“Even if, by being here, she’d take you away from me. From us. From this.” He burrows a hand between my legs, urging my thighs apart. Without waiting for an answer, he kisses me again, his tongue sliding along my lower lip.
I whimper, thrusting my hips up into his hand. He rewards me by rubbing my clit with the fleshy part of his palm. I see stars. Actual stars flickering and shimmering behind my eyes.
God, that’s good. So… good.
The shift in our relationship is mind-bending. I’m unbalanced, confused, but the overwhelming feeling is hunger. Crazy, blinding hunger at what this man, my husband, is doing to me.
Beads of sweat break out on my forehead. I writhe, my lungs working overtime to keep up with the pace of my breaths. He delves into my underwear, sliding a single finger through my folds. I squeeze my muscles as tightly as I can, grinding myself greedily against him.
He slides two fingers into me while his other hand works the buttons on my dress.
This is it. I’m finally going to lose the title of virgin.
Slipping his hand into my bra, he lifts out my right breast, releasing a heavy sigh as he does. “You have the most beautiful tits, Little Pawn.”
Lowering his head, he sucks on my nipple. The combination of his fingers inside me, his tongue flicking and swirling around the peak, and the press of his thumb against my clit, and I explode. Wave upon wave of pleasure rolls through me. My body seems to sink into the mattress, my legs weightless, my blood on fire. The throb of my climax pulses through me, tapering off into rapid tremors.
“Stunning.” He angles my chin. “Open your eyes.”
I blink up at him. I’ve never seen that look on his face before, not even in the stables. There’s wonder in his eyes, and the smile he gives me is reflected in his amber irises.
“Am I forgiven now?” He slides out his fingers and brings them to his lips. I can’t stop watching as he sucks them clean. “Or are you still mad over Emma?”
“I’m still mad,” I rasp, my voice raw, as if recovering from a throat infection. “It’ll be a while. Better take a seat.”
A ripple of laughter echoes in his chest. He runs his thumb along my lips, and I taste him. Salty, tangy, all him. Alexander. My husband whom I’ve fought so hard against, and lost. Except I don’t feel like a loser now.
His breath hitches as I open my mouth and suck on this thumb. “Good. I kind of like you mad.”
Lying beside me, he slides a hand over my ribcage, his touch light. Closing his mouth over mine, he kisses me leisurely, as though he has all the time in the world. I thought he’d be eager to fuck me, but he seems content just to lie here and kiss.
I knit my hands into his hair and nestle closer until I feel his erection against my stomach. Perhaps he needs a little help to get ready, like he’s just given me, although he feels pretty ready to me.
I slide my hand between us, but as I touch his dick through his trousers, he grips my wrist .
“No.”
Rejection hits me in the chest, and I tuck in my chin, lowering my gaze. Why doesn’t he want me to touch him? Is there something wrong with me?
“Soon, Little Pawn.” He answers a question I didn’t ask, tilting my chin up until I meet his eyes. “When the time is right, you’ll have me. All of me.”
Trying to figure out Alexander’s reasoning for anything is usually pointless, and this is no different. Questioning him won’t get me anywhere, either. There’s a reason he wants to wait, although I can’t think what that might be, and I’m too sated to press him for answers. I’ll only get frustrated when he refuses to tell me why.
Today has been a day of extremes. It’s unsurprising I feel exhausted. But as my eyes close, for the first time since I arrived, I’m filled with a sense of hope.
Maybe, just maybe, I can have it all.