Chapter 8
I couldn't remember the last time I smiled without manipulation behind it.
But here I was, grinning at Lara in the passenger seat.
Everyone believed I was in love with Adelaide, including my papa.
I needed to get away from the constant eyes on us before I screamed from the rooftops that I only saw the Orazio heir platonically.
She'd never gotten an actual smile from me. Not like the one currently stretching my face.
"No issues with the ex? Did the footage help at all?"
Lara made a face. "Nothing, and I haven't heard anything."
Her gaze rolled away from mine, uncomfortable, and I wanted her ease back.
"I think the second number is two." I reached over and stabbed the sudoku book spread over her lap.
"Keep your eyes on the road, speed demon." Her lips quirked. "I already tried two, and it doesn't work. How did the breakfast date go?"
I turned Connie around the corner with less speed than I'd like to.
She was a modest girl, my Camry. I'd picked her up for next to nothing at a car auction on a whim because I liked the purple stingray air freshener hanging off the mirror.
I ended up putting them in all my cars. Lara tucked her puzzle book under her leg.
"I'm pretty sure one of Adelaide's exes is stalking us. She knows how to make a man crawl, that's for sure."
Lara stifled a chuckle. "Including you?"
My stomach gave a strange little wobble, and I wrapped my fingers tighter around the steering wheel. Adelaide had my respect, and she scared the shit out of me the majority of the time. I oscillated between a child being scolded and an annoying kid brother who she couldn't stand.
"I don't crawl for any woman unless their legs are open and they're begging for my tongue. Adelaide is more like a sister, so that's not happening."
Was it my imagination, or did Lara's legs just widen?
I could have taken the freeway. It would have shaved at least thirty minutes off the two-hour journey. But I was feeling selfish. The extra time gave me a chance to settle my stomach and come to terms with what I was even doing.
I'd never taken someone to Tony's house before, and I had to fight the urge to turn the car around and take Lara back to Greenich Bay. It was a spontaneous decision, and while I was spontaneous, I was always careful about this part of my life.
But something changed after Lara handled lunch with my mama.
I wanted to let her in.
"You and my bestie look perfect together. Imagine if you had gotten married?"
I groaned and shook my head. "Adelaide is not my type."
"What is?"
I raked my gaze from Lara's sneakers to her fluttering lashes. "Brunettes."
Her cheeks colored. "Press is eating up your relationship, so that's good for your reputation."
I hummed under my breath. Papa had been more positive than ever. It was a strange feeling to have his favor. It rubbed at me until my skin felt sore. I'd sought his good opinion since I was a child, and now, I had it. It felt like I'd sold my soul.
That was the reason for this trip, I realized. It was one small way I could rebel against what I was supposed to do.
"Is this going to be our thing? You taking me on mysterious lunches?"
Our thing? My chest tightened.
"This is different, trust me."
Lara's eyebrow raised, and I bit back a laugh, continuing.
"I spent most of my childhood at boarding school. It's a different power there. The wealth is staggering, generational, of course, and I never fit in with any of my classmates. They didn't take kindly to me threatening to beat them up."
"Poor little rich boy." Lara let out a soft scoff.
It was teasing, but she didn't realize how deeply it cut me.
I gulped. The sting surprised me as well.
It brought back memories of brusque phone calls when Papa berated me for begging him to come home.
Chilled holidays spent roaming the echoing halls.
Even quiet sneers can break you down when it's all you have for years.
My papa had money and a reputation for brutality.
None of it protected me. I wasn't rich enough.
There was no prestige in the way my family earned money. It wasn't until I met Tony that school became bearable. I swerved the car off the road, letting out a sharp exhale as I slammed on the brakes. Lara cursed and her hands grappled at the car door. Her sudoku book flew onto the floor.
"What the fuck, Ray?"
"I don't like being called that."
It sounded petulant out loud. Lara stared at me for a moment.
"Poor little rich boy?"
"Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I don't hurt."
Her eyes widened. "You're right. I grew up poor and I've still got a chip on my shoulder about it."
I fisted the steering wheel. Dust, torn up from my abrupt exit, swirled past the car.
She reached out and laid her hand on my thigh. "I'm sorry, Ray."
She looked so beautiful, draped in contrition.
I almost wanted to drag it out, to see what she would do for my forgiveness.
But I'd spent too long manipulating everything and everyone around me.
Something about her made me want to be different.
I didn't know if I had it in me to be in an actual relationship.
But I craved something more than empty sex.
I pressed my foot down until the exhaust fired and the car rumbled as I poured my emotions out onto the road.
"Being rich is amazing if the only thing you care about is things.
I lost myself for so long learning that lesson.
The best thing boarding school ever taught me was that none of those little pricks were happy.
They could eat, drink, and smoke until the day they died, and still have enough money to swim in.
But they were all miserable. You know, there was a twenty-four-hour suicide watch at the school?
I might have been one of those kids, but I met Tony. "
Lara didn't interrupt this time, and I fixed my gaze on the winding road.
"He was the caretaker for the school, and I saw him fixing something in his car one day.
I invited myself into his life, and he let me.
I was just another rich student. He never knew who I really was.
Papa preferred I stay at school, even during holidays, so I often went home with Tony and spent them with his family. "
Lara winced as more of my story came out.
"Your papa is an asshole. Leaving you at school? What kind of generation are we in where that's still a thing? Didn't your mama ever say anything?"
"As soon as I went to boarding school, she moved out, got her own place, and found men to take up all her time. Best thing that ever happened to her. But Tony's great, and his family is amazing. You'll love them."
Lara's head whipped back, and she let out a gust of surprise. I shot her a toothy grin. I liked the noises she made when I surprised her.
"You're taking me to see your… but why?"
Why indeed? It didn't make sense, but I'd known it was the right choice as soon as she hopped into my car for the first time, when she stared down my mama and took my side.
This was a girl I could see riding passenger for a long time.
I'd fucked hundreds of women. Some men, even. None of them gave me the stomach- flipping-nerve-firing jolt Lara did with her full attention. I reached over and chucked a finger under her chin, closing her open mouth.
"Why not?" I winked.
"Ray?" There was a vulnerability in the way she said my name. "Does Adelaide know?"
"No."
I spent a lot of time trusting my gut, and it had been a burden when I was younger. So much so that I dampened it with alcohol and drugs. Finding out the people you thought were your friends were really backstabbing bastards was exhausting.
They were either fucking my mama or spying for my papa.
I chose oblivion for a good, long time. But Lara was something else. She could be huge. I just had to let myself lean into it. I was taking her to meet the people I considered my proper family to see if they approved of her.
"Can I be real with you?" I slid her a serious look.
She chewed her bottom lip.
"I'm a walking red flag. I'm literally fake dating your best friend to fix my reputation. So, tell me why I can't stop thinking about you? We have chemistry, right?"
I took a sharp turn, riding my brake. My jaw ached from grinding my teeth. Lara let out a quiet sigh.
"You're not imagining it…but Ray, we can't happen."
"Why not?" I covered my hurt with a wink.
"You have this thing with Adelaide, and I can't date anyone right now."
Her fingers danced over the console, and I met her halfway, snatching up her hand and gripping it in mine.
Her skin was delicate and smooth. She had short nails, painted black, and they dug into my skin.
There was something underlying the tight grip.
I knew how to read people better than I let on.
If I pressed Lara right now, she'd push back.
I could feel the rejection building in her tense shoulders, and I didn't want to force it out of her.
"We're almost here." I changed the subject.
I pulled down onto a sleepy suburban street. The yard was littered with car parts, and I squeezed Connie into the space in front of the garage. I hadn't even turned the car off before Jenny spilled out the front door, leaving it ajar. I jumped out and caught her as she leaped into my arms.
"Ray-ray, you're here," she squealed.
"Jeez Jenny, you trying to break the sound barrier?" I put her down, admiring the twin braids she'd twined her hair into.
I dug my fingers under her armpits until she shouted. Lara rounded the car with a bemused smile playing on her lips.
Jenny ducked out of my hold and her hands flew to her throat, eyes widening.
"Oh-my-god. Oh-my-god. Did you bring a girlfriend for Sunday lunch?"
I froze, sliding a look at Lara as I waited for her to refute it, but she wandered over and hooked her arm through mine. Her velvet lips planted a kiss on my cheek, and damn if my knees didn't wobble.
"Ray-Ray couldn't wait to introduce me. I'm Lara, by the way." She held out her hand.