Chapter 23
The leather creaked as I gripped the wheel. My papa stood right in front of the car, not knowing how close he was to death. I wondered if it even occurred that he'd gambled against Adelaide Orazio and lost.
She met my gaze and dipped her chin. I felt nothing as I flattened my foot on the pedal and swallowed my papa with the car. It was over so quickly. With a savage bump, the man I'd spent years trying to please was gone.
It was almost laughable that my papa died this way. Taillight Ray was a rumor my former friends perpetuated. They wanted me unsteady so my papa could control me easier.
My chest was cold, pulse steady.
"Good riddance, everything clear inside?" I asked Adelaide as I got out of the car.
I didn't know who the handsome man Jonah was grinding into the ground was. That was a lie. His hair was a certain shade of black. His jaw sharp enough to remind me of mine, when I looked in the mirror.
"It appears you have a half brother."
Pieces fell into place inside me. Why I could never please my papa. The reason he never treated me with respect.
Ricambio. Spare.
He'd even made my middle name a joke.
I blinked slow. Endless nothing inside my shell as Adelaide wiped my brother from the earth.
"All bow to the queen. Are you okay, brother boyfriend?" I asked Jonah with a sharp grin.
Humor to cover over the dead creep in my chest.
"What the fuck? Don't call me that." Jonah twisted his handsome face into a grimace.
"Well, you're my girlfriend's boyfriend, right? We need a name. What about brother beau? We'll workshop it."
Iron coated my tongue as I sank my teeth into the tip. Inside emptiness hollowed my bones.
"What about lover lads?" the voice of an angel rang out through the grim night.
Lara strolled down the driveway, her arm threaded through Beck's. I moved before I processed her being there. I'd missed her.
"Volpe mia." My voice cracked as I took her face into my hands and crashed my lips onto hers.
Now, we both tasted of life and death entwined.
She didn't pull back as I fucked her mouth with my tongue.
I'd been in hiding like a goddamn rat, and the entire time all I could think about was Lara.
Was she safe? Or had my papa made good on his threats?
I pulled back, stepping in front of her so she wouldn't see the crushed skull and blood on the drive.
My thumbs brushed her cheeks, and I froze as I noticed the path of red I left.
"Are you okay? You're not hurt?" Lara's eyes widened.
My tongue thickened, and I swallowed a ball of thorns. My veins throbbed like flames held to a detonator line. I'd put blood on Lara.
"Spare?" Beck clapped a hand on my shoulder.
I flinched and stepped away, trying to grip the thoughts that raced through my skull. I looked down at Jonah, also bleeding, and Adelaide, surrounded by her guys. There were bodies and blood. My family. My legacy. It rushed in, and I felt the seams of my sanity buckle.
I needed…
Adrenaline.
"Give me your keys," I said in a low voice to Beck.
"Why?" His eyebrows jammed together, and Lara stepped toward me again.
"Please, Chief." I begged through gritted teeth.
The secretive man tossed me his keys, and I snatched them from the air. My lungs filled with sweet, precious air. Once I got behind the wheel, the crushing pain in my chest would dissipate, and the racing thoughts wouldn't slip from my fingers like eels.
"Ray?" Lara said my name like a question, but I couldn't even look at her.
Dark asphalt called. Brutal, wild and made to be ridden. The tires squealed as I careened out past the wrought-iron gates. Beck's little Kia wasn't anything like the beautiful ladies I had in my stable. But the engine growled with bite, and it roared valiantly through the thick traffic.
I watched the speed climb. Higher. Higher. Until the red line flickered and the car shuddered. My teeth rattled with it. Not from the speed, but the come-down. Iron was the only thing I could taste. But exhaust and burning rubber seared my nostrils and drove me out of my spiral.
I pulled the car into an empty lot and laid my head on the wheel. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out, expecting Lara or Adelaide. I had just sped off after killing my papa.
"Carol?" I answered when I recognized the number flashing on my screen.
I'd never actually added them to my phone for fear my papa would find them.
"Hi, my love, we hadn't heard from you in a while and wanted to check in. You alright?"
Her voice was gentle as honey drizzled on peaches. My chest clenched, and I gasped at the sharp pain that throbbed through me.
"I'm perfect." I said through gritted teeth.
Just killed my papa and my brother, and destroyed the Donato legacy.
Good riddance.
Maybe I should keep driving, find a cliff, and do everyone a favor.
"You don't sound good. Are you sick again?"
I'd put off my last visit to them with the excuse that I was unwell. With everything going on with Adelaide, it wasn't safe for me to go there, as much as I missed the casual dinner.
"Everything is fine. Just hungover."
It was a plausible excuse, and Carol grumbled as soon as the words were out of my mouth.
"Ray, you need to look after yourself. What would we ever do if something happened to you? You're not driving, are you?"
Her concern slipped through the cracks in my ribs. It was cool over the fire in my chest, the desperate suck of my lungs. I could breathe. I wanted to breathe. There was no regret about painting my papa into the ground. But he'd never been my family, not really.
"I'll have to start calling you Mama if you keep nagging me." My fingers ached as I released the wheel.
"What're you talking about? You are my son. My lucky addition." The clatter of pots echoed in the background, and I could picture her in the kitchen. Pottering around with the phone pressed to her ear with her shoulder. The knot returned, but this time it didn't cut.
"Is that so?"
"Of course, Ray. Tony was meant to retire, you know, but he stayed because of you. That fancy family of yours might have more money, but—"
"They've got nothing." I interrupted her. "You guys saved me when I was younger."
You saved me now.
The blistering pain melted away down a drain.
"Ray-Ray, can I come and visit you soon?" Jenny snatched the phone from her mom, ignoring the harrumph her mom let out.
I stared at the dark blanket of the sky and my heart clenched, sweeter this time.
This family needed me. I wasn't a spare to them.
"I'm sorry, Jen-Jen. I've been so busy—"
"And sick." Jenny sighed.
"That's right. I don't have the time yet, but soon I will."
"Maybe I'll just turn up on your doorstep." Jenny said, with a thread of threat in her girlish voice.
It made a smile tug my lips up, and I rubbed my chest.
"You don't know where I live," I told her, laughing when she let out a cute growl of annoyance.
"That's enough of that." Carol took the phone back. "How's Lara? You treating her well?"
My fingers tightened on the wheel, and all the swirling thoughts paused. Lara. I had to get back to her.
"She's amazing. Perfect."
"That's what I like to hear. Make sure you bring her again when you come, won't you?"
I paused and turned the car on. The abused engine sputtered to life.
"I absolutely will. Give my love to Tony, and I'll speak soon… Mama."
There was a pause, and my lungs ached as I waited.
"Love you, my boy."
I hung up the phone, lighter than before, and the only thing that surged in me was the need to return to Lara. Blood didn't mean anything, but chosen family did.
She was part of that too.