Chapter 24 #2
"This one is definitely you." I pointed at a pot with a peacock on it as Ray spluttered with indignation.
But we both knew it was true. Ray was as vain and showy as a peacock. Ray snatched a pot with a chameleon off the table.
"Look, Chief, it's you." He grinned, and Beck's answering smile was sharp.
"Are you trying to say something about me? An upstanding member of society? I feel more like this," Beck tucked his phone in his pocket and picked up one with a lone wolf, snarling at the sky.
His body melted against my back as he turned it in his hand, his heat warded off the slight chill of early morning.
"This is Beck." I found a monster in the mix, with sharp teeth and claws.
Beck's smile spread on my neck, and the other two watched in confusion.
"A monster?" Ray let out a laugh.
Beck's teeth scraped my long column, and he hummed in pleasure.
"Only for you, my Little Liar. I've got to make a few more calls. Don't go too far. Please."
He disentangled himself from me and disappeared into the crowd. I couldn't see him, but I knew he'd be watching me. It settled some nerves. This man was my monster, had been for years. I felt safe under his dangerous protection.
"Did Bernice convince you I'm bad news yet?" I asked Jonah, digging around in my pocket to show him the rose quartz stone I stole from his apartment. "You know I keep this on me all the time?"
Jonah wrapped his hand around my wrist and lowered his head until his lips almost brushed against mine.
"She really dislikes you, which is funny because she loves everyone." His breath was silky, and I rolled to my tiptoes to chase him.
I'd run away from the way Jonah made me feel, and this stone was a reminder. How far we'd come since that moment. Now I was flinging myself headlong into danger without a thought to the mess of my insides.
"Oh my god," Ray hurried over to another stall. "They have crystal dildos? Maybe we should get one?"
There was an intense edge to Jonah's gaze, and I knew what it felt like to store adrenaline in your body. We both needed each other right now. I wanted to ride him until the jitteriness inside me dissipated.
Bad girl.
Everything that had happened with Adelaide had been an insane mess. Only my training helped keep me from panicking. The conversation with Connall only added another layer to the fear.
The best way to deal with fear? Fuck something instead.
I picked up a box carved with a car on it. I ignored Ray's question and turned it for him to look.
"You should get this. Put your tea bags in it or something." I slipped the wooden box onto the table and moved back into the crowd toward the crepe stall in the distance.
"I don't drink tea, and let's return to sex toys. How kinky does my volpe mia get?" Ray brushed his shoulder against mine.
"Green tea is my favorite." I avoided his probing glance.
Jonah laughed under his breath, and his hand clamped around the back of my neck. He squeezed and leaned in close to whisper.
"Answer. The. Question."
I shook off his hold, ignoring the exasperated tone as I lined up at the crepe stand.
I guess they weren't going to let this go.
"Let me use a crystal dildo on you and find out." I winked as Jonah choked.
We ordered our crepes. Sugar and lemon for Jonah and me, chocolate and banana for Ray. I ordered black coffee for Beck. We found an empty plastic table and ate. Lemon exploded over my tongue, but by the time I finished my crepes, my stomach still rumbled.
Jonah took our empty plates. Beck stood a little distance away, having swung by to pick up his coffee.
The optics of the police chief sharing a meal with a known crime family weren't good.
But I knew the truth. He was sifting through his contacts and doing everything to act on what Connall admitted.
"I'm going to get you another serve." Jonah muttered, walking off before I could protest.
Ray watched him go, with amusement dancing in his expression.
I reached over and laid my hand on his. Adelaide wasn't the only one who had been through a lot tonight.
Ray's father had attacked the Orazios, and Ray discovered he had an older brother, and his heritage had been kept secret.
It was never his papa's intention to let Ray rule.
Ray killed his own papa and watched his hidden brother die all in one night.
"How are you?" It was a pointless question, but I had to ask it.
Ray shook off my grip, his arms going behind his head as he stretched out his long legs. He didn't want comfort. I spent most of my life pretending, so I couldn't blame him.
"I'm great. What's not to love? Chocolate crepes, my girl. I should get up early more often."
I wanted to press Ray, but that would make me a hypocrite as I sat next to him and shoved down my thoughts.
"If you decide you want to talk, I'm here."
"Let's play a game. You're my therapist, and I'm your tortured patient you fall into bed with?"
I shot Ray a look. His smile flickered at the edges as he fought to hold it.
"I don't feel guilty about what I did. I fucking hated my papa."
"You're allowed to feel angry about it."
"Am I allowed to feel indifferent? Because honestly? It all finally makes sense. My middle name is Spare, for god's sake. I was a joke to him my entire life, and now I know why nothing was ever good enough, why he found it so damn easy to discard me. I'm glad the Donato name will end with me."
His middle name was Spare? My chest dripped with acid, burning everything.
"You can feel however you want to feel." I shrugged, wishing I could say how well I understood him. "I can't relate entirely, but I understand the duality of grief."
"You're the sweetest." He reached over and pressed his lips to mine. "Fair warning, my mama is going to make his death her entire personality for the future. You need to be with me at his funeral, please."
"Whatever you want."
"What if I said all this trauma was making me horny? Do you think we could ditch this place and spend all day in bed?"
Beck perked up from under the tree, his dark gaze finding mine. How good was his hearing?
"Absolutely not." Jonah interrupted, slipping another serving of crepes under my nose.
Ray waggled his eyebrows. "You sure? We had so much fun and—"
"I had some challenges growing up." I blurted out, and Ray and Jonah swiveled their gazes to me.
What had prompted me to say that? Why would I say anything?
"Go on," Ray waved his hand.
The confession sat on my tongue, and I swallowed what I was going to say. It didn't match with my background check, and I couldn't be reckless, even if I wanted them to know the real me.
"My mom had a drinking problem." She preferred oblivion over parenting.
They kept looking at me, so I added, "It kind of ruined my teenage years."
She owed money to some small-time dealers.
They murdered her over a measly one-hundred-dollar debt.
The scars of her death made me terrified of small spaces.
I swallowed the truth and it tasted bitter.
"Are we having a trauma-off?" Ray added, "I did just run over my papa, after realizing he never intended me to be anything but a spare to his proper heir.
" Hurt threaded his cavalier words. "What about you?
I just know something fucked up made you so big and broody.
" Ray rushed the embarrassment away with a joke and sneer, waving a hand at Jonah.
Jonah sighed and shrugged. "No contest. Mine is cliched as fuck. Abusive stepdad. I lived on the street for a bit. That was how I met Antoni Orazio, actually. I tried to steal his wallet. He gave me my first chance in life."
I whistled my approval.
"That is badass, Jonah." I nudged him with my elbow. "I didn't realize that is how you came to work for Adelaide."
"Yeah, it was unconventional, but the best thing that ever happened to me. That's why I worked so damn hard for him and Adelaide. They are—" a flash of pain crossed his face. "Were, so similar. Good leaders."
"Let's change the subject. This is depressing," Ray sighed. "What should we talk about, Lara?" He teased out a lock of dark hair and tangled it on his pointer finger. "Maybe we shouldn't talk at all."
I stiffened at his tone, the implications shooting down my spine.
Jonah cleared his throat, and with this stern expression I knew what he was about to say.
"We should talk about this," he motioned between us. "How will we work this out together? Alternate date nights? Is it a down-low thing?"
I didn't stifle my groan this time, and Ray joined me.
For the first time in my life, I wanted to forget words and get railed instead. Who wouldn't with the buffet of men who sprawled around me? I'd nursed a little hope we could stay in the moment.
No past, no future, just now. Together, even though it was bound to crash and burn.
Talking about my mom always made my skin itch.
When you feel the shell of a body cool against yours in the dark, it's hard to remember any of the good things.
Instead of her braying laugh, I remember the way her blood gushed and scalded me with dwindling life.
Before it congealed. Leaving me alone and burdened with her life force staining my soul.
I didn't want to end up like her. With nothing to show for my life and always at the mercy of someone more powerful. When Beck came back to me after my mom died, I took his offer to join The Unseen and never looked back.
Adelaide weaved her way through the crowd, her men at her back. Despite everything that happened to her, there was a self-assured smile on her face.
Beck gripped my shoulders. The bright colors of sunrise muted as the morning drifted in.
"What are we talking about?"
"Sex toys." Ray winked.