Chapter 29
Six months later
I closed the car door and grabbed the plastic bag I had handy and heaved into it. I could handle many things, but months of intense subterfuge made me double over and dry heave.
"You going to puke?" Connall whispered as he packed up his computer and slipped off his headset.
He understood what it was like to have every incoming text message make your heart rate skyrocket.
Ellington wanted us to create a web of surveillance, which we'd been chipping away at.
Connall sorted out the tech and watched my back as we planted a swarth of cameras over hot spots in Greenich Bay.
Connall kept back door access for himself in case we needed it.
Ellington had also been leaking just enough information to make The Unseen think he was still in the city to keep their focus on him.
"He's forcing the idea of me introducing him to Adelaide and coming clean," I explained.
"What are the chances of it going well?" Connall asked.
I just laughed and rested my hands on the steering wheel.
"We're going to survive this. We will." Connall tried to console me.
"I know, I'm good," I lied.
But there was no getting out of this without losing for me. If I didn't do what Ellington wanted, he would kill so many people. I was a puppet on a string, and the lack of independence wounded like barbed wire wrapped around bone.
I sipped on oxygen, but it didn't loosen the tightness around my chest. Connall stared at me, and something in his expression made me crack.
"Lyra?"
"I'm fucking drowning, Connall." Tears wet my cheeks, and I didn't even try to hide the emotion.
My ribs hurt, my body ached, and my mind shut down. I didn't know how much longer I could do this. It was getting hard to keep food down and to sleep.
Connall's voice turned urgent and sharp. "You can't give up, and you have to keep your mouth shut."
I grit my teeth and pulled strength from an empty well.
The body could only take so much stress, and I'd reached my limit months ago.
In my quest to keep the ones I loved safe, I'd cut off the people I needed the most. There was a distance between Adelaide and me.
Her being in her newlywed bubble was the explanation I gave.
But really it was because of the guilt. Her focus was on her guys, as it should be.
My relationships with Jonah, Ray, and Beck were nothing. I couldn't mask around them, so I avoided them instead. I could only talk to Connall, and he was also exhausted, worrying about his sister.
"It hurts," I admitted, trying to rub away the pain in my chest.
"I know, I know it does." Connall's voice was lethargic. "One day at a time, right?"
I didn't bother to tell him I'd been doing that for months now, and my throat was constantly hoarse from dry retching whatever I ate.
Connall slumped in the chair beside me with a grim expression. I didn't tease him like I might have in the past. Not with so many lives in my hands. A private number flashed up on the car speaker.
Ellington was like a taint, stealing everything that brought me joy.
In the distance, a couple having a picnic in the dappled shade of a gazebo, and I scanned them, paranoid of every stranger.
The slate roof of the gazebo was shaped like a witch's hat.
As if someone had plucked it out of a fairy tale.
Were we going to get our happily ever after?
I didn't know, and that frightened me more than anything.
I hadn't felt so vulnerable and afraid since I had joined The Unseen.
"Answer it." Connall ground his jaw.
The lean man was gaunt with hungry urgency, and I wondered if I looked the same. My nerves rubbed raw, as we waited for our instructions. The ones that would make me a weapon against the very people I was trying to protect.
Adelaide and her guys, who she just reunited with. She'd earned her peace, and I was the sharp wedge threatening to splinter everything. Didn't Ellington understand that?
Ray and Jonah, who both harbored their own brand of hopefulness for the future, were willing to sacrifice and risk everything. Little did they know how much I wanted to fling the rules to the wind and dive into the future with them.
Beck knew most of my secrets, but not these new ones.
I was lucky he'd been called back by the council in the past few months and wasn't there to pick at me.
Trying to mask the weight of my lies was ruining me.
I'd chewed my nails down to ragged nubs, and sleep evaded me .
Every time I had a drink, it made me think of Ellington. How easily he'd caught me in his web.
My phone chimed twice in succession, and I snatched it up, heart stopping for a beat.
Ray: Volpe mia, are you free tonight?
Jonah: Can I cook you dinner soon?
Beck: We need to talk.
I froze. Ellington's call dropped and rang back immediately. Hair stood on the back of my neck.
"I need a second," I murmured, but Connall rolled his eyes, his pale, angular face twisted.
"All I care about is Tessa, get it? Nothing can happen to her," he snapped, and his finger hovered over the answer button.
I snatched and twisted it.
"You think I'm not sick too? Ellington went after every weak link to make us comply. But—"
Connall pointed his free finger in my face. It trembled.
"No buts. We're going to do everything he wants. Burn down the world even."
For a moment, I thought his sharp, judgmental finger might pull back into a fist and fly toward my face. I rolled my shoulders back, unmoved.
"You forget who you're working with."
Connall listened, panting. "He's putting us in an impossible position."
"I'm not your enemy, Connall. You're the only person I can talk to right now, so I'd appreciate some grace before I blow up my entire world."
"Got it," Connall mumbled, chastened.
The phone vibrated a third time, and both Connall and I stiffened.
"I don't appreciate being made to wait, cherubs. How'd the mission go? Did you have fun?" The voice was the same distorted, robotic filter Ellington always used.
There was no way to tell who was speaking, male or female. Connall fiddled with his phone, recording the call.
"You didn't give us much choice," I reminded him.
"I've been thinking about our lovely Adelaide. Get me in a room with her soon, no security. I know you can handle it. But if you don't do as I ask… well, do I really need to spell it out for you? It gets tedious, all this threatening."
"She'll kill you and me. Besides, asking her to come without security will instantly make her suspicious."
"Aren't you best friends? Say you're on your period and you need a spa day."
I curled my lip. "I can do more on the worst day of my period than you could on your best."
"That I can believe." Ellington chuckled. "But you will get me a meeting with Adelaide."
"Why? What will it solve?" I clutched at any straw I could.
Ellington's sigh was tinny through the speaker. "The Unseen are corrupt, and I'll stop at nothing to make them pay for killing my soulmate. Ask Beck what he's been doing all these months, what The Unseen has asked him to do. You'll understand what it's like to be betrayed."
The hair on my arms stood up. Beck had been absent from Greenich Bay for six months, only returning sporadically. His trips left me with sore muscles from being pounded into the mattress. We didn't speak about the changes I'd made.
Beck was smug that I didn't want to pursue Ray and Jonah anymore. I think he was afraid that if he mentioned it, I might go back. If only he knew what kept me away. My stomach cramped. Connall was so rigid I thought he might snap.
"I want updates," he bit out. "Assurances that my sister is safe."
"Of course," Ellington purred.
Connall's phone pinged, and it showed a petite brunette lying on a queen-sized bed, the sheets half hanging on the ground.
She watched something off-camera, possibly a television, with her hands interlocked over her stomach.
No obvious bruises or broken bones, at least. I didn't relax, and neither did Connall, his screen obsessively close to his face as he tracked every piece of movement.
"My niece and nephew? I want your word you won't hurt them." Connall eventually spoke, and the quiet laughter through the car speaker made me cringe.
"The only reason you're in this situation is because you rebelled and tried to warn Lara I was coming for her. You do as you're told, and we're fine. Honestly, it's like dealing with toddlers."
"Tessa needs to be with her children. Please, can't you let her go?"
My eyebrows rose as Connall pleaded with our tormentor. The tremor in his tone twisted my stomach.
"Do you know much about children? They'll miss her for a few weeks, and after some lollipops and unlimited screen time, they won't even remember who they were crying for."
Connall let out a strangled cry, and I reached out to grip his elbow. He shook off my touch, not wanting comfort or a warning. Ellington was capable of anything, and he could decide to do much worse.
Play along. I waved my hand, and Connall narrowed his eyes at me.
"And Lyra? If I find out you've breathed one word of this, the same thing will happen to you."
I thought of Jenny, passed out on the bed. How disoriented she'd been when she woke up in Ray's house, with no memory and, most importantly, no trauma. There was something so precious about her innocence that I couldn't bear being the one to tarnish it.
And Bernice, with her fiery hatred of me. Even if she weren't my fan, I would do whatever I could to keep her safe. As much as I wanted to fight Ellington, I had to bide my time. To convince him that a direct confrontation with Adelaide wasn't a good idea.
The car filled with silence, and I cursed under my breath. Connall's wide eyes saw through me and pierced my soul. He shook his head, shaking off the bitter brutality of our situation.
"What's the plan?"
"What do you mean? Use your leverage with Adelaide to get him what he wants." Connall sighed and shrugged at my incredulous expression.