Chapter 31
My Little Liar had an excellent poker face.
It was blank as Ray ended the call, taking a sip of her tea like he hadn't just dropped a salacious little tidbit in my lap.
Did I want to be connected to two other men?
Of course not. Disgustingly, Ray and Jonah were growing on me, but I wouldn't choose to be around them. It seemed Lara wasn't sure either.
She had her secrets, and I had mine, especially as a new council member of the eleven.
She'd picked at her food, eating nothing for months. It was taking a toll on her body. Her hair didn't have the same shine, and bags darkened under her eyes.
"Why isn't your door double-locked?" I asked as I tucked my key into my jeans.
"Hello, Beck, I'd welcome you in, but you weren't invited." She arched an eyebrow.
"I made a copy months ago, but I never thought I'd have cause to use it. Feel free to clear up what Ray said any minute now." I took a seat next to her.
"Really? They're being assholes. Now, put the key on the bench and get out. I'm not in the mood to deal with you today." Her voice sounded strangled, which I didn't like.
"Why would I do that, Lara, when we have so much catching up to do?"
I didn't mean it as a threat but Lara crossed her arms over her chest. Whatever was bothering her would eat away at her steel spine before she opened her mouth. It had always been this way, right from her first day as an agent.
Lara was used to relying on herself.
Eighteen years old, with a chip on her shoulder. She'd been hungry to prove herself and, determined to win every potential victory. The world was a dangerous place, but Lara still didn't realize the only person she needed to beat was herself.
"How were things at headquarters?" she asked, pushing her cup away with a grimace.
Come to me.
I willed her to squeeze in next to me and let me steal some of her warmth instead of just imagining it.
My want for her never ceased. She'd been like everyone else at first. She was too young, and even the sound of her voice grated on me.
Her grit won me over. The way she got back up and asked for more, no matter what happened.
"Lara," I coaxed with rare gentleness.
Maybe I should take her to bed. With her mouth hinged open, and eyes scrunched with wild pleasure, she wouldn't be able to hide from me.
"What?" she snapped.
I'd caught her without makeup, and now I realized how much of a shield it had been. The bruises under her eyes were so dark. There was a fine tremble in her fingers, and she tucked them under her thighs. My ribs ached as I filled my lungs. I wanted to bring a smile to her down-turned lips.
That wasn't a skill of mine. I hope Ray got here soon. He had an uncanny ability to lift her mood.
"What's wrong?"
"It's the anniversary of my mom's death."
I rolled up my sleeve, showing her the semi-permanent tattoo of a rose. Right next to my Lyre.
"I didn't forget. Do you want to talk about it?"
Her face shuttered, and I coaxed her into my lap. She came without words, knees wobbling. Cracks widened in her impenetrable mask. Her skin smelled of sweet vanilla, and it made my head spin. She always made me feel so much. It prickled my neck, heated my blood and churned my stomach.
"Everything is unfair. She didn't deserve to die like that, and I…" She hiccuped into my neck, and I threaded my fingers through her hair. Lara shuddered against me, her soft breaths evening out as she tried to close herself off.
Did she think I would allow that?
"You didn't just lose your mom that day, Lara. You lost your innocence as well. It doesn't matter how much time passes, you can still mourn." I kissed her forehead.
Lara's fingers slipped around my back. As my hands ran down her sides, I was alarmed Lara was fading right in front of me.
"I hate that it still affects me."
"Lara, you were trapped in a dark crawl space while your mom bled out all over you. You'd need years of therapy to even touch healing from that. Regardless, emotions aren't something to take for granted."
"What do you feel in here? For me?" Lara changed the subject.
It was taking everything in her to hold it together.
"It burns."
"What? Really?" Lara lurched back, and I caught the back of her neck with a squeeze.
"My parents had five children, three boys and two girls.
I was in the middle and the odd one out from birth.
It was a loud house, and I was quiet and serious, like a guest. In school, a group of boys bullied me, and I locked them overnight in the school gym.
One of them almost died trying to escape through a broken window.
I didn't feel remorse or guilt. When my parents told me, I laughed.
They were salt-of-the-earth people, kind and generous in their community.
They took me to a string of psychologists until one of them suggested putting me in a psychiatric hospital.
Do you want to know what I felt when I found out they'd given up their parental rights? "
Lara's eyes widened, and I reveled in her rapt attention. "What?"
"I said, good for them. Of course, they didn't know what torture they were signing me up for. I felt pain at the hospital with the endless needles. But I was ice until you thawed me, Little Liar."
I flicked open the buttons on my shirt and spread the material.
"Look." I nudged her chin up and pointed at the semi-permanent tattoo over my beating organ.
It was a heart with an arrow through it, and in the middle was 'Little Liar'.
Lara let out a wet chuckle, scraping her blunt nails over it.
I shivered at the intimate touch, realizing how close we were to each other.
Hunger surged like an addiction in my veins.
I wanted the taste of Lara, her lying tongue tangled with mine.
"You should ink this one for real. I like it." Her eyes pinned on mine, and we shared a shallow breath.
"Are you lying?" I wanted to lick the deceit off her lips.
Her gaze sparked with mischief, and she raked her nails down my chest. Her touch was utter ecstasy. Lara stared at my lips, and I counted my heartbeats as they pulsed in my throat. Lara pressed her velvet lips onto the fake tattoo. My empty lungs crushed.
"Will you love me even when I lie?" Her searching gaze turned vulnerable, and for a moment, I saw the eighteen-year-old Lyra.
Who piqued my interest with her curiosity and the dark shroud that stifled her.
Would I want her if she lied?
We'd built everything we were on lies. Our friendship, our history— was riddled with untruths. I kept my own secrets from her, ones that made my stomach unsteady.
She was lying right now. I still clung to the moment of closeness. It shone like moonlight on the barrel of a gun, like a clear shot of adrenaline.
"Lyra, I know you'd only lie to me if it was serious." I brushed her dark hair behind her ears.
"I like it when you call me that." Her lips hovered close to mine.
My admission soothed something, and the heaviness around her shoulder lightened. I could smell the scent of herbal tea on her breath.
"Because no one knows you better than I do, and don't you forget it."
I grabbed the back of her head and forced our lips together, taking what she offered but stealing more as well.
I was greedy for my Little Liar. She sagged against me, like she'd been waiting for this as long as I had been.
There were no gentle sips, only a yearning that consumed us both.
I tangled one hand in her hair, keeping her locked against me.
The other strayed to her ass, squeezing and grinding her down on my rigid cock.
"What about the others?" She gasped, her fingers fumbling with my remaining buttons.
Her lips trailed across my cheek to my neck, where I felt the pinch of her teeth and the suction. I grunted with approval. I'd prefer it if she were thinking about me in a moment like this, but sharing her was what I agreed on.
"You tell me. I'm not the one dodging calls, ignoring the group chat, and disappearing."
She made a noise, which I promptly swallowed.
"No, I meant, they're going to be here soon."
"Let them watch."
Everything about Lara was mine, even if she gave it to someone else. I'd been with her for her first kill. We made brutal poetry, the only kind I could understand. She tasted of lemon tea and raspberries. Bittersweet and addictive. Lara pulled back, her eyes glossy and lips ravaged.
"I-I know I haven't been good to you all recently." She cupped my face and sipped at my lips, the most gentle I'd ever seen her. "But everything I'm doing right now is because I love you, Beck. You gave me something to live for."
The dusty organ in my chest gave a wild-eyed thump, like a shot in the dark.
"You're my girl, Little Liar. Even if you're kissing someone else. Even if you've got ten other boyfriends." I slid my hand up her shirt to press against her heart. "You're mine."
The shine intensified in her eyes, and I drew her lips to mine again. Our bodies worked savagely against each other. Her teeth scraped my lips as she rolled her hips over me. My hand was still up her shirt, and I squeezed her breast, hard enough to make her gasp.
"I need to be inside you," I muttered in her ear.
Lust swirled around me and stole every single thought. Lara arched her back with a knowing look in her eyes. My rough pants filled my ears until the sound of a grating, irritating voice interrupted.
"If I'd known group sex was on the table, I would have run every red light."
I groaned as Lara swung off my lap with a squeak.
"Spare, your timing is atrocious."