Chapter 33
I trailed behind the three men, resisting the urge to slap my cheeks.
What was I thinking? Coming to Greenich Bay, letting Adelaide welcome me into her life?
Falling for not just one man, but three?
My head swirled like a whirlpool, and I didn't know how to string a logical thought together. I mean, that was obvious.
An orgasm wasn't an appropriate response to danger.
They'd found the camera I planted in the warehouse. I didn't know how, because they refused to tell me the details. In their eyes, I was still sweet and innocent. Beck tossed me a knowing look, holding my suitcase like he thought I'd run.
Connall must have told Ellington. But I couldn't admit a megalomaniac traitor was punishing me, could I?
Ellington was always ten steps ahead of me. I shoved every thought about him deep into the dark depths of my stomach, letting it ache there.
The ghost of Jonah's touch pulsed between my legs, and I hated how shame gave the pleasure a sharp edge. Ray slowed his steady strides, and fell into step with Beck as we entered the elevator.
"Here." He pulled out his phone and passed it to Beck. "Got another copy."
"Of what?" I raised my eyebrows, and Ray placed his hand on the small of my back.
"You're a shit stirrer, you know that?" Jonah groaned.
Beck pinched the screen, staring at it with deadly intensity. My stomach flipped.
"I think our big guy is secretly fond of me. I half-convinced he won't put a bullet in my head one day."
"Those are not great odds."
"I'm a realist, volpe mia. I'm still a very annoying person."
My lungs turned heavy in my chest as soon as the elevator doors closed.
Hold it together for five seconds.
A wave of dizziness crashed over me when Beck slammed his hand on the emergency stop button. The elevator groaned, shuddered, and with a squeal, stopped moving. He flashed me a wide grin and shuffled me into the corner to create a shield. The lights flickered.
"Beck." A startled gasp escaped me.
He knew how I felt about enclosed spaces. It was uncomfortable but doable if I knew it was for a short time only, and I was expecting it, like elevators.
"What the fuck, Chief?" Ray swore.
My breath turned shallow as Beck leaned against the wall and tapped at the phone screen. The bumbling police chief didn't exist today. It was jarring to see him the way my memory immortalized him. A well-cut jacket over a black T-shirt. Shiny boots tucked under tailored charcoal slacks.
"Talk me through this, Little Liar." His gaze stabbed.
Clawing panic turned feral inside my body, a knot the size of a fist stole my voice. What did he want from me? Beck's gaze drifted between Jonah and Ray. He gave me a disappointed shake of his head.
"I-I—" I choked.
Jonah growled, his stance shifted as he boxed me in on the side. My knees turned watery, and my vision spotted with black.
He turned the phone around, and I swallowed a whimper.
It was a photo of me with Connall, sitting in the car together. From a distance, it looked intimate. Our heads were bowed together as Connall stared into my eyes. Ray let out a laugh, thinking this was the reaction of a jealous man.
But Beck knew more than Ray and Jonah, who saw Connall as competition. I sank to the floor, my muscles seizing up. Jonah put his hand on my shoulder, a furrow deepening in his brow.
"When was this taken?" Beck snapped at Ray when I didn't reply.
Ray shifted on his feet. "A few days ago."
His words warbled as if they traveled through water, and the lights flickered overhead. I let out a soft whimper. Beck picked at the edge of my secret, with militant skill. He saw through to my lying bones, worn into brittle sticks.
"I-it's not what it looks like." I managed with difficulty.
Jonah kneeled as I drooped forward. Close to passing out. He pulled me into his arms, hauling me against him.
"Are you having a panic attack?" He pressed a soft kiss to my clammy forehead.
I dipped my chin and widened my eyes at Beck. He knew exactly what this would do when he pressed that button. His smile turned sharp in confirmation.
"What are you so worried about?" Beck tilted his head.
Jonah glared, a mask of stone with two burning coals for eyes. When he found out my lie, would he look at me the same way?
"Okay, I didn't think you'd go caveman-level jealous, Chief. Maybe we should…" Ray chuckled, but Beck cut him off with a hiss.
"You haven't been the Lara I know for months. I knew something was going on, but this is too far. Answers, now."
We were having two different conversations, and Jonah and Ray followed, perplexed. Jonah clicked his tongue in disgust and focused on me.
"Breathe, Thorns." He encouraged me, squeezing my stiff fingers.
A thin breath whistled past my lips and coated my lungs.
"Good girl." He pressed his lips to my forehead again, uncaring of the sheen of sweat covering it.
Ray muscled past Beck and slammed the emergency stop button. My stomach swooped as it moved to the ground floor. Beck muttered under his breath. Every line of his body said danger. Jonah slipped a muscular arm around my waist and helped me to my feet.
"Breathe twice more. You're doing so well," Jonah praised against the shell of my ear.
The small space reminded me so much of the day my mom died.
My mom was a snotty, hysterical mess in the kitchen.
She begged for more time from two men covered in tattoos and leather.
It felt more like a scene from a movie. Especially when they dragged Mom out back and put a bullet through her chest. That was the payment for stealing from them.
Time became a choking noose when they wrapped those cruel hands around my upper arm and pushed me in with her body.
They closed up the top, and left me to rot with her cooling corpse and sticky blood the only memory she ever existed.
I couldn't think properly with those memories like smoke obscuring logic.
I slid my hand down the wall, trembling with the aftereffects of the small space.
"Go ahead, boys. I need to talk to Lara." Beck slid me a look that sent a chill down my spine.
Jonah's arm tightened, and he made a grunt of protest. I nudged his hand, shivering, as I stepped out of his hold.
"I'm fine, give us a second," I rasped.
"Volpe mia." Ray arched a perfect black eyebrow.
"One second, please. I'll go wherever you want, with no arguments."
Jonah and Ray left, carrying my hastily packed bag. Sweat gathered on my brow.
"Little Liar." Beck brushed my hair away from my face. "You've got some explaining to do."
He wanted me unstable, and it worked. My stomach clenched, and I tasted my breakfast. My lies and the life I'd built on them. He wanted an explanation under the dim fluorescent lights.
"Fuck you."
Beck gripped my chin. "I will always do what I think is right, and if I find out you're hiding something from me…"
"You terrorized me on purpose."
His grip tightened. "I'd do it again."
My heartbeat fluttered like butterfly wings. "I thought you loved me. Don't you trust me?"
Beck dragged me close, and his heated breath washed over me. "I don't love like those two idiots you insist on keeping around. You know who I am, Lara. I've never pretended to be anything but a monster."
"Well, my heart doesn't work like yours, and I won't forgive you for hurting me."
Beck let out a soft, sinister laugh. His nose trailed down my neck as he held me in his unforgiving grip.
"Don't you care how it made me feel?"
His shoulder lifted, and he searched my face, grip easing off. "I can't feel, remember."
My skin tingled with warning, and I fed Beck a scrap to placate him.
"I've been checking on Connall periodically. You know there isn't anything more to it."
He shook his head with a low snarl of disgust.
"What part of I'll handle it don't you understand? I've gone to The Unseen on my knees to keep you safe. You don't need to put yourself in danger."
"What are you talking about?" Now it was my time to be curious.
Beck shook his head. "We're not talking about me."
I winced at the pinch in my chest. He expected me to slice myself open for his perusal, and worse was how I throbbed inside, wanting to give in. But Beck didn't want to help. He wanted control.
I lifted my chin. "We're not talking about me anymore, either."
He could choke on his disappointment. This wasn't the time or the place, and I would not be herded into a confession by him. Beck pulled me into an embrace, his large palm cupping the back of my head.
"Little Liar." He clicked his tongue.
It smothered for a beat, like he considered squeezing compliance out of me. I trembled from the elevator and the illogical panic it brought. There was no getting out of this without hurting someone. I realized too late. Now I was trapped in a web of my own making.
"Can you help me with the cameras?" I changed the subject, dropping my voice to a whisper.
"You think I have that power?"
I understood his reticence, though it didn't help my thumping heart that crashed against my ribs.
Everything unraveled. What would happen when they found out the depth of my lies?
They squatted on my tongue, and I wanted to spit out the acrid taste of them.
Be free of their heavy weight. How naive I'd been to think I could escape my past.
"Please."
"I love when you beg," Beck whispered fiercely against my neck.
Shivers wracked me, and Beck made a soothing noise in my ear.
Everything was so twisted up. My chin wobbled with withheld tears.
I gave Beck every piece of myself when I was younger.
There was a darkness in him I'd only known once.
It lingered in the scent of blood and soil.
Somehow, those shadows became my home, and I didn't want to lose that as well.
I let Beck fold me into his chest. My eyelids drooped, adrenaline crashing, making me want to crawl into his rib cage and stay.
"My love, it's been a day, hasn't it?" Beck brushed a kiss over my brow. "If you really want my help, you'll have to persuade me."