35. Chapter 35
I wish I could say I were a gentleman. But sitting opposite Lara in my sauna, I was that cartoon dog with its ten-meter tongue rolled out and heart eyes.
She hinged her elbows on the curved tile edge of the seat and dipped her head backward.
Her legs were crossed, but it didn't matter.
Sweat beaded on every smooth line of her body.
I hungered for the taste of her perfect little tits in my mouth again.
Instead, I held out my hand to Jonah in a wordless command.
He was wearing boxers, cradling that stupid, expensive bottle of whiskey like his life depended on it.
"Gimme," I ordered when he took too long.
Our fingers brushed, and he jerked back and whirled away with a muttered grumble. What had gotten into him? We were in a sauna with the girl we loved. Granted, I wasn't pleased about Beck joining us, even though his tattoos were interesting.
He had two long-stemmed roses bracketing each shoulder, a flock of lambs on one pec, and a heart that wrapped around the phrase Little Liar. There was a set of large antique scales on his toned stomach. As well as one human woman and a skeleton, embracing and dancing.
I necked the bottle of whiskey and drank more than I enjoyed. But the added warmth it gave me was immediate, and the slosh in my stomach satisfying.
"See something you like?" Unlike Jonah, who shied away from baring himself, Beck let his cock hang out.
Good size, but not as big as mine. I'd let him hit it if I didn't think he'd choke me to death.
"Nice tatts." I stretched my arms over my head.
The speakers were playing a mix of chill lo-fi music, and the temperature was just fine. I wedged a towel in the door, leaving a small crack for Lara's comfort.
"They're not real," Lara and Beck both answered, sharing a knowing smile.
It made my blood scorch, and I wished I'd pushed Beck harder in the hustle to be the first in the sauna. They had such an easy familiarity. I ground my teeth together, furious at the bubbling jealousy I couldn't contain.
"You scared of needles?" I sneered.
The mix of heat and whiskey was a dangerous combination, and my vision wobbled.
"Short answer, yes." Beck shrugged, and Lara reached out to squeeze his forearm.
Fuck. I wanted to expose a weakness, not push Lara further into his arms.
"Why?" Jonah asked.
"I used to get needles every day when I was a teenager. I promised myself I wouldn't willingly let another needle pass through my skin."
Beck stretched out, unconcerned about his dick flopping onto his leg. He wasn't at all what I thought, and that intrigued me. He'd been able to hide his self-assurance under a bumbling persona with an ill-fitting wardrobe.
"What kind of place would do that?" Jonah scratched his beard with a scowl.
Beck shared another look with Lara, heavy with hidden meaning.
"It was a psychiatric hospital. My parents thought I was certifiable."
"Are you?" I laughed as he thinned his lips into a white line.
Lara crawled over the bench toward me. "Let's play a drinking game." Her gaze swirled with mischief. "Tell me something that surprises me. If it doesn't, you drink. And if it does, you get a kiss."
I straightened up with a grin. Forget trying to unravel Beck's secrets. This was what I was talking about. But what could I say that was surprising to her? The steam was a soft blanket over my skin as I tried to think.
"This is my first time in a sauna." Jonah beat me to it, and my head whipped to him in disbelief.
"Are you serious?"
"We can't all be rich fucks like you, Ray. I grew up on food stamps. Trust me, there was no going to a sauna."
My mind blanked as Lara crawled over me, her naked, dripping body brushing against mine.
She smelled of sea salt and spice. Even after pursuing Lara and throwing myself at her, I still didn't know who she was, not really.
She had shields and strength that I admired.
I mourned the loss of her on my lap, but not when her back arched as she pressed a kiss to Jonah's lips.
I could see everything. Her plump, bare lips glistening from the sauna.
The cute pucker of her asshole, ensconced between two round cheeks.
I swallowed a needy groan, my dick thickening against my thigh.
I wanted to wrap my hands around her narrow waist and impale her warm sheath on me.
Beck let out a low chuckle, and I looked over to find him staring at me.
Absurdly, I knew he was thinking the same thing as I was.
"Thank you for starting us off." Lara pulled back, wriggling her perfect ass on the bench seat between us.
Jonah hummed under his breath, chasing her lips. She pressed a pointer finger against them and shook her head.
"Surprise me again." Her voice was husky.
My mind raced, scrambling through memories and facts to think of something. Why was this so hard? I wasn't a mystery like Beck or Jonah. I lived my life in full view of others, all my mess and mistakes included. But I wanted a damn kiss. And more, if I could get it.
"I cried when I watched that movie with the three lost pets," Beck said, and winked at me as Lara wandered over to give him a kiss.
His hand coasted over her ass, groping the soft flesh as their tongues tangled. Goddammit, I couldn't think.
"That's actually adorable. I didn't think you were capable of tears," Lara teased in a low voice.
Again, with the familiarity. I was playing a losing game right here, to Beck, who was likely going to go bald in a few years. It was untenable.
"My favorite crystal is amethyst," Jonah said, and my jaw dropped open as he spread his legs, waving Lara over with a shit-eating grin.
She slipped her hands up his muscular, hairy thighs and played with the edges of his underwear as she gave him a kiss.
My cock was rock hard watching the two of them.
Jonah sank his plate-sized hand in her damp hair and angled her how he liked.
Why was it so hot watching her get manhandled by someone who wasn't me?
"I'm an extrovert?" I tried, but Lara shot me a disappointed look as she perched on Jonah's knee.
His fingers brushed the underside of one of her tits.
"Everyone knows that, Ray. You must have some deep childhood trauma stuffed in that sculpted chest. Give me something I can chew on."
I threw my hands up. Perhaps the only surprising thing about me would be…
"This will surprise you, given my line of work and my life." I gloated, readying myself for her kiss. "I value honesty. If I find out someone has lied to me, it's hard for me not to be vindictive."
I held my arms out, waggling my fingers in victory. Lara wasn't expecting that. Her eyes were wells of unmasked sorrow, and she caught her wobbling bottom lip in her teeth. I frowned when she didn't come to me.
"Don't tell me that isn't surprising. You wouldn't expect an ex-crime lord's son to care about the truth."
Lara's chest shuddered on a shaky inhale, but she rose and drifted over to me. Her hot skin under my hands, and sweet velvet lips didn't bring joy. Even when she tasted of whiskey, sweetness, and the faintest remnants of something masculine, Jonah.
Her kiss was deep, like she emptied herself into me and left nothing.
When she pulled back, I gripped her waist, unnerved by it.
I dug my fingers in, needing to feel the solidness of her body to reassure myself.
Her eyes were hazy with something deeper than drunkenness, and it certainly wasn't lust.
"Did I just kill the mood? I once went through a stage where I was obsessed with Cheetos and used to eat a party-sized bag daily. I only stopped because I woke up one day with orange dust all over my face. Now I can't even be in the same room without feeling ill."
Jonah let out a surprising burst of laughter, and it made the tension in my shoulders ease.
"You fucking tell anyone that, and I'll cut your tongue out," I said to Beck out of the side of my mouth.
Lara shuffled forward, her thumbs massaging into my shoulders. My stomach twisted at the stiff way she held herself. My words had taken away every bit of her liquor and sauna-induced ease.
"Lara," I tried, but she shook her head, and I groaned as a single tear hovered on her lash line.
She dashed it away with a grimace.
"My turn." Her breath hitched. "This might not surprise you. But I can't keep this on my chest anymore. I-I've been lying about something big."
My stomach dropped, and the warmth of the sauna couldn't permeate the chill icing my entire body. Guilt poured out of her like whiskey from our pores. It reeked and made my nose wrinkle.
"I lied when I said I didn't want the three of you." She tossed a beseeching look over her shoulder to Jonah, who leaned forward in rapt attention.
My hands fell off her body, unable to process. What was she trying to say?
"The timing of this was unexpected. I wasn't looking for love, and especially not with multiple guys. There are so many reasons we can't work, but I don't want to go another second without being honest, at least about this. I love you. All three of you."
Her knees wobbled, and she collapsed into me, her hands valiantly trying to hold her up. Her chest worked on near-silent sobs as I gathered her into my arms. She loved me? My chest swelled with disbelief, sweet hope, and confusion.
Why did she turn us away?
"Volpe mia, don't cry." I pressed soft kisses to her cheeks, neck, and shoulder, trying to calm the wracking shivers coursing through her body.
Lara was under my skin. I'd spent so long chasing her that to have her in my arms was surreal. My mind floated as if disconnected from my body.
"Why did you lie?" Jonah cupped the back of her head, demanding her attention.
"Look at what happened today. I fear the future, but I'm more scared of losing you all, and I can feel what we have slipping through my fingers. I don't want to regret anything in my life."
"You don't want to regret it." Beck finally spoke, his face a blank mask.
Lara ducked her head. "I need this, Beck. Please don't…"