Chapter 9
My fingers jerked from the jarring doorbell, distracting me from the code I was working on. I needed to have something up my sleeve to beat The Unseen. Everything was against me — resources, time, and power. But I loved being an underdog.
“Can you get that?” Ellington shouted from his room.
“Did you order in?” I called, pulled the door to reveal Ray, Jonah, and Beck.
Bags weighed down Ray’s arms, and as he repositioned them, the warm scent of spices wafted over me. Jonah held up a bottle of wine. Beck attempted a smile. It looked like a threat.
“What are you doing here?”
“Ellington invited us, of course.” Ray pushed past me into the apartment.
He paused in front of the giant teddy bear. “What’s that about?”
“Don’t ask,” I rolled my eyes.
My skin prickled as Beck began opening cupboards, bringing down a stack of plates when he found them. Jonah popped open the wine bottle. Ray unpacked containers and took an appreciative sniff of each one.
“I picked up Moroccan, Sri Lankan and Argentinian. Take your pick.”
I planted my hands on my hips. “I thought I was clear the other day. There is nothing more between us.”
They ignored me. Busy pretending to be industrious together. Since when were they friends?
“Remember the last time we ate like this together?” Ray inched his hand over until his pinkie brushed against mine.
A jolt dragged me out of my freeze, and I whirled away, bumping into Jonah. He quirked an eyebrow at me. A gauzy curtain divided my past and current selves. All my secrets had been choking me alive, and now I was lighter and more scarred from the process of them coming to light.
I picked up a steak knife and stabbed it between Ray’s fingers before he could say another word.
“I don’t care.”
“Volpe mia,” Ray groaned, and he leaned over the bench. “I thought I loved you when I believed you were innocent, but you are utterly magnificent.”
What? It took me a moment to process his exaggerated wink and words.
“Fuck off, Ray.”
“What was that?” Ray leered at me. “Fuck me, Ray? Well, if you insist.”
Ellington interrupted the sharp retort sitting on my tongue.
“Don’t fight, darling. How can we take down The Unseen if we don’t use all the tools we have?”
Ellington strolled out of his room with a towel slung low around his waist. His hair was damp, and drops trickled down his lean, bare chest. He was shameless. Didn’t he know what walking out here like that would do? I swallowed a laugh.
Jonah jerked with a curse while pouring the wine and spilled some on the bench.
Ellington placed his hand on my shoulder and muttered against the shell of my ear.
“Don’t you want to torment them a little?”
I turned my head, leaning against his wiry chest until the remnants of his shower seeped into my shirt. I hushed my voice, making it intimate enough for him only.
“You’re such a shit-stirrer.”
“Did we interrupt?” Beck said through gritted teeth.
Ellington shrugged and grabbed a plate. They wanted to haunt my doorstep? I would make them rue the day they met me. I breathed in the scent of empanadas as I put two on my plate with a side of coconut curry. Ray piled his high with food, his bottom lip poked out.
I ignored Beck and addressed Jonah instead. He was the reasonable one.
“Does Adelaide know you’re here?”
“She’s across everything, the ferocious little diva that she is,” Ellington answered for him, popping a spoonful of couscous in his mouth.
I grabbed an empanada and placed it on Ellington’s plate. It teetered on the side.
“Try one of these,” I said.
Ray made a noise and snatched it away.
“Hey,” Ellington clicked his tongue.
Ray narrowed his gaze and wolfed down the bite. I rolled my eyes at him and wandered back to my computer. I shut down everything and put it aside. Ellington bumped Ray out of the way to squeeze in next to me.
“You couldn’t put a shirt on?” I admonished him.
He winked. “You told me I was filthy before, now you’re unhappy I’m clean?” He looked at the group of guys who now crowded the small living area. “Has she always been this fussy?”
Beck gripped his plate until his knuckles turned white, and I heard his teeth crack.
“What are you doing here?” I moved the conversation away from Ellington’s dangerous innuendo.
“You want to destroy The Unseen. We want to help.”
I shook my head and put my plate aside. My appetite evaporated the longer I was in their presence.
It had taken me a long time to stop shaking after my conversation with them the other day.
No matter how I tried to become emotionless, a storm was under my skin.
Thinking about how Beck might have been involved made me uncontrollable.
“We were talking about how we’re going to track down the members of the council.
We’ve uncovered several potential moles in the city, but none of them had access to the inner workings of the Orazios.
As far as The Unseen is aware, Lyra is the only one close enough to Adelaide to get them the information they need.
But it doesn’t help us with reaching the council.
” Ellington coughed and gave Beck a look.
I jabbed him in the ribs. “We don’t need their help.”
Also, I didn’t want to spend hours, days and months in close quarters with three men I had tangled emotions for.
“The council keeps their identities secret for a reason.” Ellington continued, rubbing his ribs.
“So it’s harder for them to be tracked down and taken apart, right?” Jonah clarified.
“How are we going to take down an organization when it’s all smoke and mirrors?” Ray let out a frustrated gust of air.
I grabbed my plate and started eating, more out of protest than anything. So they didn’t want to listen to me, fine.
“Beck?” Ellington waved a knife in his direction. “You want to take this one, little buddy?”
Beck’s teeth cracked again, and he tapped his fingers on his knee.
Unlike everyone else, he wasn’t eating. I wondered if he felt too guilty?
A bubble of laughter caught in my throat at the impossible idea.
Beck felt nothing but rage. He was a firestorm that burned everything in his path.
I’d once thought I was immune to the flames.
“We have an advantage in discovering who the council members are,” he cleared his throat. “Because I’m one of them,” Beck rasped.
My fork clattered onto my plate as my stomach twisted.
“What?” I whispered.
“Didn’t I tell you he was hiding things, darling?” Ellington bumped my shoulder and shot me a conspiratorial grin.
Of course, this was an amusing show for him. He didn’t understand that the reveal was just another layer of the ragged tear inside me. Beck traced a fake tattoo on the back of his palm with pointed intensity. He had shown it to me before.
The Lyre.
I’d been stupidly flattered to be on Beck’s body, even if it was only temporary. It fed into my delusional idea that we were star-crossed lovers destined to crash into each other eventually.
I was right. But we also burned.
“I did it for you.” His gaze flicked up, burning with an inner flame. “The Unseen were asking pointed questions about you. Whether I thought you were working with Ellington and switched allegiances. I joined the council to distract them and protect you.”
It hurt to breathe.
“Don’t pretend you weren’t thinking about your own gain.”
“Power is not what I crave. Deep down, you know that’s true.”
I shook my head. I once thought I knew Beck as well as an extension of myself. A shadow filled with darker shades, of course. Beck was a monster, but he’d been mine. I pinched the bridge of my nose. With everything I knew about my mom, it made my skin crawl. Had I been a pawn this entire time?
“I don’t trust you. Not about my mom, and especially not now that I know this. What else are you hiding?”
Beck’s nostrils flared, and his nails dug into his knees.
“He’s been co-operating fully with us this entire time and—” Ray interrupted, and I leveled a scathing glare in his direction.
“You dare defend him after what he did to me?”
Ray gulped and sank back into his chair.
“If you want to destroy The Unseen and save Adelaide, you should use every resource. Even if you despise them,” Jonah added.
“I had nothing to do with your mom. But you’re right. If I hadn’t flagged your potential, The Unseen would never have touched you. That’s my fault. I can promise you revenge. I can get you the person who ordered the hit. Let me be your monster.”
Your monster.
The words cut me like a sniper bullet, a perfect hit through the chest. I curled my upper lip in a silent snarl. Everything around me was paper cutouts, fake and breakable. Ice crashed down my spine. The lies went so deep.
I knew I’d made them feel like this too, with my secrets. But emotions didn’t respond to logic, and a part of me was trapped in that dark hole.
Forever tainted, forever damaged.
Ellington interrupted my dark thoughts as he laid his hand over my knee. The heat of his body pressed against me as he curled close. I made a noise, but he crunched my kneecap.
“Darling, we need him,” he coaxed.
The air in the room turned thick. I ignored the sharp intakes of breath from the others as I turned even closer. Until my lips brushed against his ear. Fuck everyone else. I wanted vengeance.
“If you don’t take your hand off my knee, I will cut your balls off in your sleep.”
Ellington’s hand sprang off, and he let out a bark of laughter.
“You tease, we have company.”
“I’d give them a front-row seat.” I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.
Beck’s jaw ticked as Ray and Jonah shared a look. I knew they thought Ellington and I were lovers. Let them. I didn’t need the distraction of men to keep me from doing what I vowed.
“Are you done?” Beck said through gritted teeth.
Ellington shoved a spoonful of curry into his mouth, and the coconut scent coated my nostrils.
“Oh, not even close. You know how Lyra is when she gets started. She can go all night.” He gave me that wink again, all joviality on the surface, and lurking darkness underneath.
I didn’t trust Ellington, except I knew he wanted The Unseen destroyed more than I did.
“Stop,” Beck shouted before he stalked to the kitchen.
He snatched one of the abandoned wine glasses, picked them up one by one and drained them. He returned to the couch and glared at Jonah, who eyed him with care.
“What? I have to be drunk to deal with him.”
Ray smothered a laugh with a napkin.
“So you’re part of the eleven. They must be so pleased to have finally caught you,” I said.
Beck grunted with a nod. I knew how long they had courted him, but he always declined. Again, I deluded myself into believing I was the reason.
“Do you know the identities of any? Or have any information that can help us?” Ray rubbed his hands together.
“How can we trust it’s the truth?” The bitter words slipped out.
I couldn’t keep the heavy, pebbled doubt in my stomach.
“None of us are a paragon of truth. I’m not the one who built entire relationships on lies.”
His sharp reply slipped through my ribs.
“But you did,” I insisted. “With me.”
Beck rested his chin on his palm.
“There is only one person in this world I’m capable of loving, Little Liar. I tried to keep you away so we wouldn’t be here, with me destroying you. I warned you what it would be like to have my heart, but you begged me for it.”
My nose stung. “You give yourself too much credit. I won’t ever let a man break me.”
Beck’s lips flickered. “That’s right. You’ve always been out of my league. Tell me what I can do to allay your fears?”
His gaze buffeted me, piercing my defenses. I said the only thing I knew he could never honor. He’d made me face my biggest fear, so I’d taunt him with his own.
“Tattoo it on your heart.”
Beck cracked his knuckles, looking thoughtful.
“Enough woe is me,” Ellington snapped. The playful stirrer was gone. “I’ve waited a long time to destroy the people responsible for killing the person I love. You can put your heartbreak to use and tell me what you know.”
I wilted as Beck freed me from his hypnotizing gaze.
“I have been keeping my own notes, and I can share my theories with you. But the best way would be to meet them in person. It just so happens that they are throwing a masked gala next week. We can pinpoint targets in person.”
“Won’t it be pointless?” Ray scratched his head. “It’s a party for literal super spies.”
“He’s right. You can’t go in alone,” Jonah pointed out.
I dipped my head in agreement. Beck shifted in his seat, and a grin spread across his face, like oil over water. It didn’t seem right.
“You don’t trust me, Little Liar?” His silky tone rolled over me.
“No.”
“I’ve worked for The Unseen the majority of my life. You don’t think I can destroy them?”
I didn’t know what he was capable of anymore. But I didn’t say that, lifting a shoulder instead.
“I’d burn the world for you, Little Liar.”
I shivered. With me in it.
His coal-dark eyes brightened as I leaned back. Deviousness sparked in them, and goose bumps sprang on my arms. Beck wasn’t stupid. He would use every opportunity he could to worm his way back under my skin. I wouldn’t let him see how he affected me.
“The invitation has space for a plus-one. You can be my date, Little Liar. Monitor me and put your skills to use.”
I thought of the code I was building, even as my stomach sank. Being in this room was hard enough, but to have to pretend I was dating Beck when he’d torn my skin from my body and left me in ruins?
Would any agent of The Unseen be able to withstand the pressure?
I hiked my chin up and met his gloating gaze directly. He might be a monster, but I was a ghost. He couldn’t kill what was already dead, and all I had to do was endure.
“I’ll do it.”
“That’s my girl,” Ellington purred.
Beck’s smile turned into a slash, and I wondered how far he would go to capture me again. Burn the world for me? Maybe I should let him.