Chapter 12
I grabbed Connall’s sleeve as he threw his bag over his shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
He brushed me off with a noise. “Out.”
“But we’re—”
“Supposed to stay low, I know, thanks for the reminder, Mom.” Connall scowled at Ray’s lounge room like the comfortable furnishings offended him.
There were worse places to wait for the heat to die down.
I’d once spent three weeks in a highway motel where the room smelled like melted cheese, and the lights buzzed so loud I heard it in my sleep.
At least Ray’s place had a sauna and enough room to give us all space.
My memories of this place were mixed, but I was an expert at shoving down emotions.
“What about the thumb drive?”
Connall dragged his hand through his lank hair. “No luck yet. But didn’t you find enough to satisfy you?”
I wanted to ask him if he was alright, but the way he rocked on his heels made me pause. Tension tightened every muscle. Was it being in this house, around Ellington? Or did Connall not understand what this meant?
“The spreadsheet proves they were valuing and targeting certain areas. Why else would they have Adelaide’s net worth beside Thornridge and Amato? The invoice with Mantel Holdings on it proves Larson is involved. But is he the mastermind or the lackey?”
Connall ran his tongue over his lip and shrugged. “You want the truth? I don’t give a fuck. I don’t know what switched up here.” He tapped his finger against my forehead. “But we’ve always been friends, and I’ve got your back. But who cares if The Unseen skim a little money off the top?”
Connall’s words forced a sharp exhale from my lungs. Shock gutted me open, and Connall walked backward with his hands up. “Just saying. You never cared before, why now? Did you give any thought to The Unseen when they told you to kill Cole Lacott?”
I blinked. Who?
Connall let out a husky laugh and tossed his hands in the air. “See? He was the heir of Topher Freight. You took him out and forgot about him. You didn’t think. You did as you were told. So forgive me for not being more enthusiastic now that you’ve developed “morals” because it’s self-serving.”
The sliding door snicked closed, and I sank into the closest chair. Connall was right, in a way. He didn’t understand that Ellington wasn’t my enemy anymore. The Unseen hadn’t strung him up like a puppet on strings and maneuvered him into someone unrecognizable.
Not a hero.
My values were twisted roots fed with blood.
Topher Freight. My mind drifted back to the name, and I inhaled.
The mission at the Den, when Beck cracked with obsession.
I hadn’t killed him, but I didn’t care that Beck did.
My stomach churned in Connall’s wake, and acid rose in my throat as Ray and Jonah stumbled into the room.
“You cheated. I can prove it,” Ray huffed.
“Just say you’re a loser. That’ll be quicker.” Jonah slapped at Ray’s grasping hands.
They chased each other around the kitchen island, bursting with infectious giggles.
It was strange to see Jonah in this light, but Ray coaxed a joyful lightness from the big man.
My stomach clenched, and a bitter aftertaste coated my tongue.
How could they be playful with so much at stake?
Jonah stumbled as Ray slapped his wounded arm.
“Let me check it’s not infected.” The words were out before I could hold them back.
They both froze, eyes widened like owls. In their mirth, they hadn’t even seen me. The familiar tightness in my stomach returned.
“We were just playing a video game.” Ray threw himself into the chair opposite me. “Jonah has some sort of cheat code.”
“That’s code for I beat his ass five times with one arm half working.” Jonah tossed me the medical kit with a smirk. “You sure you want to do this?”
Maybe it was the conversation with Connall or the warmth in Ray’s gaze as he tilted his head, but I shoved the kit into his chest. Why was I bothering to help him?
“Would you rather Ray did it instead?”
Jonah grunted and grabbed my hand. He squeezed the digits until the bones scraped against each other. His head dipped as his gaze searched mine. The prickly feeling in my stomach intensified. He brought my hand to the medical kit. Ray let out a gusty exhale, followed by a curse.
“Sorry, I tried to hold my breath, but my lung capacity is terrible.”
I ignored him as Jonah peeled off his shirt. Faced with the hard expanse of his chest, I ducked my head to find what I needed.
“I’m eating up this tension, by the way.” Ray’s gaze sparkled.
I bit my tongue, knowing any words would only encourage him. Instead, I checked Jonah’s wound, which was healing well.
“What’s the verdict, Doc?”
“You’ll live.”
My cheeks were hot, and my stomach bubbled with something I couldn’t put my finger on. The couch moved as Ray squeezed in on my other side. His breath warmed the back of my neck.
“Do you have to sit so close to me?” I bit at him like a cornered snake.
His tongue coated his bottom lip. That sparkle turned mischievous.
“Make me.”
My scoff cut off as a rush of energy flooded my veins. His smile widened, and my fists itched to wipe it off. My fists? I’d curled my hands without even realizing it. Jonah made a noise behind me, and then a hand motion over his neck.
“You don’t think I can take him?”
“No.” He shook his head. “I just know he’ll ruin this.”
Fire roared through my veins, and I shoved Ray’s shoulder, feeling all of five but also unable to hold back. I’d been cooped up in this house for days, and it hit me like a red wave.
“Show me what you were hiding.” Ray peeled himself off the couch and beckoned me. “All that time we were so protective of you, and it turns out you didn’t need it. But I’m still stronger than you.”
He underestimated me? I’d wipe his smile off his face in five seconds.
The red tide rose, bringing with it a deadly calm.
Ray’s laugh choked in his throat as I threw myself on him.
He toppled to the floor with a crash, taking me with him.
Pain shot up my right knee, but I didn’t notice.
Ray met my punches with a stupid, wide smile.
What was he so happy about? I fought harder, clipping his jaw.
He rolled us off the shaggy rug and onto the wooden floor.
The thunk his head made satisfied the hungry rage boiling in my stomach.
The hits came easy. Ray deflected the worst of them, with that smile showing teeth now.
He was so handsome, even with his hair mussed, and a reddened jaw.
The anger grew hooks, rupturing my insides until the hidden emotion spilled out.
My wrist faltered as a sob escaped me. I squeezed my thighs around his hips and aimed for Ray’s nose.
“I’ve got you,” Ray gripped my wrists and gave me a gentle shake.
I trembled over him. Adrenaline. Except a drop of water fell on Ray’s cheek and slid down.
“I’ve got you,” Ray repeated, and this time, I heard it for what it was.
Not a taunt because he beat me, but comfort as I fell apart.
“Were you letting me win?” The words came between hitched breaths.
Ray let go of my hands and held them up in surrender. The idea of punching him didn’t appeal anymore.
“Were you?”
He nodded. “I’m sure you’d beat me if you were at your best.”
“Fuck you.” I swiped at my cheeks.
“I’d love to.” He let out a wistful whistle.
I rolled off him, bringing up the hem of my shirt to wipe away the evidence of my weakness. The room smelled like disinfectant, and I wished I could use it on my thundering heart.
Purge myself of these roiling emotions.
“Where’s Beck?” the red tide flooded back.
Why did I have to stay locked up with these idiots while Connall and Beck snuck in and out as if we didn’t notice they were gone? Jonah cleared his throat on the couch. His cheeks pinked.
“He said he went to get some supplies.”
“There’s only so much takeout I can survive on.” Ray rubbed his jaw.
My stomach coiled tight. “So he gets to go out and we have to stay here?”
I knew it was irrational, and a distant, more logical part berated myself. My wires had crossed too many times, and now I short-circuited.
“What’d I miss?” Ellington yawned, his fist ground into his eye.
He dragged his feet over to me, holding a hand to pull me upright. Ray glowered at him.
“Beck is out. Connall is out, and I’m stuck here with—”
Ellington cut me off as he smashed his finger against my lips. It smelled like Cheetos and was orange. I tossed off his touch with a warning growl. What was with these men thinking they could touch me, fight me, needle me until I wanted to unravel?
“Relax, darling, I have a tail following Beck. Although I’m surprised, I thought you’d relish some time away from his intense stare.”
Heat flooded my cheeks. Beck was my unwanted shadow in this house.
Everywhere I went, he found me, lurking like the creep he was.
I’d never admit to them how unsettled his attention made me.
He was the one who broke us. But the midnight warmth in his gaze lapped at my frayed edges.
Like a pool I could slip into and drown.
Before I could make an excuse, the man in question dragged himself through the glass door. His hand left a smear.
“Ah, were your ears burning?” Ellington winked.
Beck’s shoulders hugged his ears as he scanned the room. Falling on me. I caught my tongue between my teeth. His cheeks were pale under the stubble, and a sour smell wafted from him.
“Are you alright?” Jonah frowned.
Beck dug into the plastic bag hanging off his trembling elbow. He tossed a sudoku book in my direction, and it hit the kitchen island with a slap.
“You mentioned you were bored, so I bought this for you.” He lowered himself into a chair.
I tapped my fingers. “It doesn’t take an entire day to get a puzzle book.”
Beck lowered his head into his hands, and I noticed sweat drenched the back of his shirt through. Tension thickened the air in the room, and my lungs hurt to breathe.
“I went to the gym.”
“I have a gym downstairs.” Ray’s eyebrows met in the middle.
“Didn’t think you’d appreciate my smashing your shit up because I needed to blow off steam.”
The lie was terrible. But before I could question him, Ellington let out an airy laugh and waggled his eyebrows in my direction.
“You should take a page out of Lyra’s book and work off steam in a more productive way. The only thing that’s at risk of breaking is the bedframe.”
“Say another word.” Beck gritted his teeth. “I’ll gut you.”
Ray lunged at Ellington and seized his collar. He walked the man backward with a snarl. Ellington laughed, skipping backward.
“Okay, okay. I’ll take another nap, leave you to your pent-up desires.”
My ribs tightened until my lungs screamed. I wanted to smash something. Fight someone. Fuck some— NO. I curled my hands around the sudoku book and crushed it. Those illegal thoughts needed to die a quick, painful death. Tension prickled over my skin until goose bumps sprang up.
We had to do something.
“We’re getting cabin fever. You know what the cure for that is?” I stared at them.
Jonah crossed his arms over his chest, wary. Beck peeked up through his damp fringe.
Ray slammed the door and looked back with a devious grin. “Sex, group sex”
A traitorous part of myself fluttered, and I pressed my thighs together. No. I shot him a look.
“Adrenaline. Ray, how many cars have you got in your underground garage?”
His glee fell off his face, and he waved his hands in the air.
“No, not my babies.”
“It’s for a good cause.”
“We’re not supposed to leave,” Ray pouted.
He looked at Jonah for support, but the man was already on his feet. I knew it wasn’t the best move, but if we didn’t get out of this house, I was going to end up tearing them apart. I just needed enough thrill to stuff the ugly hurt back where it belonged, deep into the shadows of my soul.
“Didn’t you want a rematch earlier? Let’s race, for real.”