Chapter Three #4
Fanny knew not what response to make, though she, too, felt some sympathy for the Dashwood girls.
She recalled playing with the two eldest once when they were very young—they had been kinder to her than Maria and Julia, and that they had been so ill-used made Fanny feel a sense of kinship with them.
Of course, far it be for her to slight the mistress of Norland, when she knew she would be expected to show some gratitude at being brought there at all.
She glanced at the door, willing Edmund to walk through it, but to no avail.
Julia needed little encouragement to go on.
“I am sure you do not wish to be going there, either, Fanny. And why should you? Why should any of us! Oh, Mamma may wish to see the home of her youth, but she will not like it once we are all in our carriages, and I daresay we shall all be very uncomfortable then.”
Though Julia meant the discomfort of traveling, Fanny felt sure that the entire ordeal would be very uncomfortable for her, but all the more so once they had reached their destination.
She had heard little of Norland from her mother and aunts beyond the fact that it was very large and very grand.
Her own mother had been raised there, too, though she had fallen so low in the world that Fanny wondered if her mother would ever be welcome back there—it was rather to be wondered at that any Price should be admitted to such a house.
“We shall have to be allies, you and I,” Julia said, and took Fanny’s hand.
“You are too good and sweet to say so, but I know you wish to go as little as I. My, but your face when Papa addressed you! I cannot think why he would make you so uncomfortable, for no one but Maria really wishes to be going at all. He ought not force anyone who does not like it, and I am sure we would be much happier to stay here. But I see you are too afraid to agree with me. No matter, it shall be our little secret.”
Even this discomfited Fanny. She could not like to have secrets of such a nature, to be an ungrateful malcontent.
Surely Edmund would talk her out of such feelings.
Fanny let slip a little sigh of woe, and Julia embraced her with one arm.
“Do not fret, my little friend. We are of one mind, and we shall keep together, you and I. I am sure it will be vastly unpleasant—we must find some pleasant room just like this to hide away at Norland, for we shall be better company for one another than anybody else. If Papa means to put you forward, I am sure he is thinking of one of Fanny Dashwood’s brothers—can you imagine how odious they must be? ”
“Surely not!” Fanny raised a hand to her mouth, sorry to have spoken with a vehemence that surprised and shamed her.
“I am certain of it. I can well imagine a pair of gentlemen with her same beady-eyed look, gauche and over-trimmed, and full of self-importance. We shall have to look after one another.”
Fanny’s alarm intensified. Of course Sir Thomas would think to marry her off, for all his talk of her improved looks and womanly virtues.
She had been a fool to think they would keep her at Mansfield forever.
If only she could know Edmund’s mind on the matter, for Fanny could not determine whether his avoidance of her was a sign of favor or disfavor of Sir Thomas’s scheme. “Oh dear, what shall I do?”
“Let me be a friend to you, Cousin Fanny. I cannot say what will happen, but you must trust me to look out for you. And if the Ferrars brothers are terribly odious, we must both avoid them as best we can. The rest, I shall have to figure out as we go. But I can tell you this, you must not give credit to any of Maria’s assertions.
I cannot think why she would wish to help Papa marry you off, when her engagement is such a disaster.
I am sure any scheme of hers is just as sure to go up in flames, and a sweet, gentle creature like you deserves better than such influence.
You must promise me you shall be on your guard toward Maria, for I fear the whole scheme might be some mischief of her devising. ”
It was true—Fanny had been quiet, but she had not been blind to Maria’s efforts.
She knew little of what had transpired between Maria and Mr. Rushworth, and she had been often obliged these many months to chastise herself for thinking so ungenerously of Maria’s behavior with Mr. Crawford, but how it all fit together was still quite a puzzle to Fanny.
And yet, Julia’s sudden overtures of friendship were just as perplexing.
She could not entirely trust that Julia would not simply forget all this apprehension if they arrived at Norland and discovered the Ferrars brothers to be handsome and amiable.
And yet, Julia was right about one thing—neither could Fanny trust Maria’s interest in her.
Her sleep that night was fitful, for she wrestled with her own fright at being so noticed by those she was not at ease with, while being neglected by Edmund, her primary source of encouragement and reassurance—and all this was compounded by a wretched sense of ingratitude.