Chapter Sixteen #2
“I knew it! Charlotte said that if you were indeed giving such a convincing performance, she would drag you to London and put you on the stage herself. I am so happy for you! But you must tell me everything.”
“Mr. Bingley looks ready to dance,” Elizabeth said, gesturing to her brother-in-law, who was smoldering at his wife as he made his way through the crowd. “I should not have thought him one to be so tardy to an evening of such frivolity.”
Jane blushed. “He received some remarkable advice from Sir Sidney yesterday which required his attention, and we were detained in leaving the townhouse.”
The only time Elizabeth had seen Mr. Bingley speaking with Sir Sidney at the picnic was when the rascal had been attacking Mr. Horne in a manner that had reminded her of the livestock at Longbourn.
Mortified, she urged Jane to join the dance and hastened away, certain she could not meet Mr. Bingley’s eye with equanimity.
Elizabeth had no partner for the set that was forming, for the ladies outnumbered the gentlemen that evening, a disparity she heard loudly lamented by Mrs. Jennings as she milled through the throng of people.
Miss de Bourgh, slighted by Sir Sidney in favor of Miss Denham for most of the evening, had been obliged to stand up with her maid, and Marianne was merrily partnering Mrs. Bevan.
Georgiana was not dancing either, and after a quarter hour of meandering through the crowd, amiably greeting the guests she was especially fond of, Elizabeth sought out her friend. Or rather, Georgiana approached her in great haste, and Elizabeth went to her with alacrity.
“Are you unwell, Georgiana? Shall I get you some refreshment? Has something happened?”
Georgiana wrung her hands. “Is there someplace we might speak privately?”
“Of course. The doors to the terrace have been opened, and some air would do you good anyhow.”
They linked their arms and hastened outdoors. The terrace was well lit by torches, and blessedly empty. A smaller version of the fountain that graced the central courtyard sat at the end of the terrace, and Elizabeth urged her friend to sit down beside her on the cool stone bench that encircled it.
“Take a moment to calm yourself. When you are ready, I should be glad to hear what has you in such a state.”
Georgiana nodded. “I cannot wait another moment, but I must tell you something terribly dreadful, and I am sure you shall hate me for it!”
Elizabeth’s stomach lurched, fearing Georgian’s distress may relate to her brother. “I could never hate you, no matter what. I promise it.”
“Very well, but I shall have to beg your forgiveness—oh, Lizzy!” Georgiana drew in a shaky breath and slowly released it.
“Lady Catherine overheard you tell your sister that you are in love with my brother. I… I know you and William are pretending, but I cannot think that you would feel the need to be false to your own sister, when so many others know the truth.”
Elizabeth winced. She had been so carried away by her joyful sentiments that she had not considered she would be overheard. Indeed, she had been wildly indiscreet from the very beginning. “I was not pretending with Jane.”
Georgiana smiled wistfully. “You really love him?”
“I do, Georgiana.”
The girl’s face crumpled. “I feared as much. I… I know that Lady Catherine overheard you, because then I overheard her. She was speaking to Anne about it—lecturing her very severely. She said some very unkind things about you, which I shall not repeat. Anne, of course, was just as horrid. She said that she does not wish my brother to fall prey to an upstart fortune hunter dependent upon an uncle in trade, even though she does not want him for herself.”
“Good heavens! I wonder what Lady Catherine must have said that you would not repeat, if you can recount your cousin’s words!” Elizabeth attempted a satirical smile but braced herself for more distressing revelations.
“When Anne stormed away, I confronted my aunt; I wanted to defend you, Lizzy. I told her that my brother would be the luckiest, happiest man in the world if you were to return his love.” Georgiana clasped Elizabeth’s hands in her own.
“I meant it, truly. I know it is more than a charade for him; he speaks of nothing but you and scarcely notices Anne anymore. I believe he feels nothing more than pity and contempt for her now.”
Elizabeth sucked in a sharp breath and held it for a moment. “Do you really believe he loves me?”
Georgiana looked away, shaking her head. “What I know is that it is not Anne who stands between you but my aunt—and, unfortunately, my own folly.”
“Why should your quarreling with Lady Catherine matter?”
When Georgiana finally looked back at Elizabeth, her expression was haunted and half wild.
“She knows about—what I did—about the babe—about how my brother covered it all up. She has always known. From the very beginning, she forced him into the engagement. Anne’s feelings mean nothing to her.
She fears my cousin attaining her majority.
If William and Anne are not wed before then, she will tell the world of my shame. ”
Elizabeth rested her hand on the cool stone of the bench to steady herself.
Everything she had felt that evening and the day before came collapsing down around her, and she stared blankly at the ebbing water.
She had wanted an end to the pretense, fool that she was, and now she wished it all back again.
“It is all my fault,” Georgiana lamented. “I hoped you and William would fall in love, truly in love. And now I believe you both have, and I am the only remaining obstacle. I have been so foolish!”
“I will not hear such talk,” Elizabeth said warmly.
“You have become a dear friend, and I cannot tell you how it eases the pain in my heart to hear that you believe your brother loves me, as I do him. At least this time, I shall have the peace of knowing I was truly loved, even if he must choose another.”
“This time?” Georgiana sniffled and dabbed at her eyes.
“I loved a man once before. He, too, married another, but I believe he loved her all along. What existed between us was a mere illusion, all my own foolishness. You may imagine how silly I feel entering into this unusual arrangement after such heartbreak; I ought to have known better. And yet I cannot repine; I am glad that I have made memories this last fortnight that I will cherish forever.”
Georgiana sobbed into her hands, murmuring unintelligibly.
When she collected herself, she squared her shoulders as she addressed Elizabeth.
“I will not stand in the way of your happiness, yours and William’s.
My conscience will not permit it, when my own transgression is the cause of this dreadful mess.
Let Lady Catherine do what she will, and sink the rest of our family with me. ”
Elizabeth smiled sadly. “You cannot mean that. It is a generous sentiment, but I have a conscience, too, and I will not let you sacrifice your own reputation—and you must know it would not only be yours that suffered if such knowledge was made public.”
“And so we shall both injure William in our contest to be the most noble?”
“No, dearest. We shall be as we were a fortnight ago, and life will go on. You and I shall always be the dearest of friends, and your brother will be a happy memory for me when I am a spinster with no suitors left, not even the odious Sir Anthony. And your brother will forget me when his true love is returned to him. He has loved Miss de Bourgh for quite some time, and that love will return once I am no longer a distraction. She is very near to throwing over Sir Sidney, so she must be regaining her senses already.”
“How can you bear it, Lizzy?”
Elizabeth shut her eyes and turned her face away as she battled with herself.
How could she bear it? But she must. She had steeled herself for the worst even as she hoped to have her heart’s dearest wish granted.
And now she must commit to that resolve and let him go.
But first, she would savor the remainder of the evening. It was all she had left.