37. Chapter 37
Chapter thirty-seven
The second the sisters deemed me ready, I hurried out the door in an effort to avoid Dey. He must have anticipated my preparation taking longer because he was nowhere in sight, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I made my way toward the stairs.
I slowed as I approached Sin’s room. I wanted to knock and see if he would escort me to dinner. I wanted to nestle my head against his shoulder and breathe in his comforting scent. Hell, if I was being completely honest, what I really wanted was for him to pull me inside and ravage me until I forgot every fucked-up thing I learned today.
Heat pulsed between my thighs, and I found myself moving closer to his door as if drawn to him. One single tap of my knuckles against the wood. That’s all it would take, and we could fall into his bed, remaining there until I explored every inch of his body so thoroughly that I knew it better than my own.
Despite the intense desire coursing through me, I couldn’t lift my arm to knock. That intensity was also a warning. Sin was fast becoming an addiction I couldn’t resist. A single taste, a single caress, and I would crumble like a sand castle at high tide.
Walking past his room was one of the hardest things I’d ever done, and I felt like I deserved a reward for showing such restraint.
Thankfully, dinner was fairly uneventful. Neither Jo nor Sin were present, which I found to be a bit odd but ultimately for the best as they would likely have been a distraction that might cause me to slip up and reveal something about my new ability.
For most of the meal, I had to sit through my father making a painstakingly long speech about the upcoming Elemental Games and the banquet that we would be hosting for the competitors the following night. If Dey’s whispered translation was even partially accurate, it sounded like the whole thing would be a political quagmire.
When I felt like I had stayed long enough, I gave Dey and my father a polite good night and hurried to my room.
As I swung open my door and stepped into the darkened chambers, two assailants burst from the shadows. It was only by a sheer miracle that I managed to choke down the high-pitched shriek of alarm. They launched a dual pronged assault, with Opal going high to crash into my hair while Jenni went low, slipping under my dress to nip at my ankles.
“Okay, okay, ouch! All right,” I managed to get out between laughs. “I’m sorry I left you alone, but I brought you some food.”
That must have been the magic word because they flew up to hover in front of my face, waiting expectantly.
I had no idea what crescia ate, so I had snuck a couple handfuls of nuts, seeds, and berries off my plate at dinner, filling the small pockets of the half jacket that had gotten more than a few snide looks. I dumped the pile of food onto my nightstand and waited to see what they would do.
Opal hung back while Jenni made a circle around the bounty. After careful examination, she plucked a small berry off the pile and carried it over to her friend. Opal didn’t hesitate, she mashed her face into the berry, her tiny mandible reducing the fruit to a pile of mush in seconds. Beside her, Jenni promptly began chewing happily on the kinna seeds.
I left them to their meal while I shed my dress and collapsed onto the bed. With the effort of maintaining appearances all night behind me, my brain wanted to think of nothing save for Sin and his absence at dinner. Was he avoiding me? Did he have time to think and decided that he actually wanted nothing to do with me?
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on the physical sensations around me before my mind was lost to another anxiety spiral. The softness of the mattress underneath me. The slight pressure around my ribs from the lace up bra. The warmth radiating from the fireplace. I cycled through each sensation, blocking out the cascade of vicious thoughts that wanted to tear me apart. Despite my best efforts to ground myself, I started to reach for a Klonopin.
Then I recalled Sin’s words to Dey.
“She’s not broken. ”
“She just needs to work through it. ”
The memory swept through me on a calming wave, and I forced myself to lie still and wait for the anxiety to pass, focusing on Sin’s face in my mind.
When I finally felt like I could breathe normally, I sat up in bed. Both crescia had stopped eating and were staring at me.
“Sorry,” I said, leaning over and petting Jenni. “I’m afraid you bonded to damaged goods.”
“Perfect Rain. ”
The gentle words floated through my head, and I laughed. “No, Jenni. Not perfect. Not perfect by far.”
“Rain sad. ”
“Not sad really,” I said as she flew over and landed on my thigh. “Confused, I guess. I’m not sure what to do about Sin.”
“Rain and Sin happy. ”
“I don’t know Jenni,” I said, running a pinky over her glittering scales. “I don’t know if Rain and Sin can be happy.”
“Rain and Sin happy, ” she reiterated, then nipped at my skin to accentuate her point before flying back to her meal.
I closed my eyes and pictured Sin in my head. I didn’t have to wonder what he looked like underneath his tunic anymore. I had my hands all over his smooth chest and toned abdominals only hours ago, but I never got his breeches off. Never got to feel his hard length in my hands. And judging by what I felt as I had ground my hips against him, I would not be disappointed when I unwrapped his package.
I ran my hands over my own chest and stomach, wishing they were his. My heart sped up a bit as my fingers slid lower, dipping just under the waistband of my panties. The pleasure from my own fingers would be nothing compared to how Sin had made me feel. How I clenched around those muscular digits as he thrust them deeper and deeper.
The images overwhelmed me, and I succumbed to them.
Sin running his tongue down the center of me.
My own hand slid further into my panties.
Sin flicking his tongue over my clit.
I swirled my fingers over that same spot.
Sin licking and sucking as my hips bucked against his face .
I cried out as the memory and the reality mixed together. The pulsing heat was too intense, except I wasn’t burning. I was aching. For Sin.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know if he felt the same.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” I said to Jenni and Opal as I slipped my robe on. “Can you stay hidden if someone comes in?”
Jenni dipped her head. “Rain and Sin happy.”
I smiled at her words. “I hope so.” Then I was out the door and rushing down the hallway.
The darkened castle was eerily silent, and anticipation pricked at my skin as I hovered outside Sin’s room. This wasn’t smart. Or rational. And it would only make leaving a million times harder.
But I needed him.
I just hoped he needed me even half as much.
I raised my hand to knock, but the door swung open before I could make contact.
Sin’s hair was slicked back, wet from a shower, and his dark ocean smell was stronger than usual. My eyes drifted shut as the scent washed over me. When they opened, his green eyes were molten with desire.
I swallowed roughly. His eyes were making promises that I would kill to see fulfilled.
“I was just coming to see you,” he said, his low, gravelly voice sending a wave of heat through me. “Do you want to come in?” He held the door open, and I slipped inside.
I hadn’t seen much of his room before when he and Dey got into their fight, only snatching a quick glimpse while I was struggling with my panic attack. It was smaller, more cozy than mine, with thick rugs covering the floor and tapestries adorning the walls. One in particular was similar to the night sky mural my mother had commissioned for the antechamber. A wrinkled, threadbare quilt lay crumpled on top of an old steamer chest at the foot of his bed, and a glass of water sat on his nightstand beside a lantern that cast a soft, flickering glow over the room.
There was a small weapons rack in the corner, displaying a dozen daggers and small swords, and a tall bookcase dominated the entire wall beside it. Each shelf of the case was packed to the brim, with extra novels shoved in sideways to fill the gaps, while even more were tossed haphazardly on top.
My eyes swept over to the entrance into his bathroom, and I noted the pile of wet towels on the floor. A neat freak Sin was not, and I kind of loved that about him. There was something so intimate about a person letting you see their mess. Letting you see the real them without any societal expectations or trappings. He didn’t need to put on a show for me. I loved his adorable, cluttered room.
I sat on the edge of his bed, struggling to slow my racing heart. Now was quite possibly the worst time to have a panic attack.
He eased the door shut and leaned back against it, watching me curiously, like I was a wild animal that might bolt if he made any sudden movements.
“What’s tumbling through that head of yours, Rain?” he asked softly. “What has you staring at me like that?”
“Like what?” I croaked out.
“Like you’re afraid of me.”
I tucked my sweaty hands under my legs, looking away from him. “Because I am,” I admitted softly.
He was quiet for a long moment. When he finally replied, his voice was thick with an emotion I couldn’t place. “Why?”
The answer lodged itself in my throat. God, I was being such a coward, once again refusing to allow myself any semblance of happiness because I always told myself I didn't deserve it.
Maybe I didn't deserve Sin, but I was tired of running away from the things I wanted, and I wanted him with every fiber of my being. Beyond that… any other emotions I might be feeling could be dealt with later.
I stood slowly and crossed the small room on wobbly legs to stand before him.
“Rain?” There was so much hesitation in his voice.
I closed the gap between us and placed my hands against the door on either side of his face. I was tall, but he was taller, and while I much preferred being on the other side of this position, right then I needed him to know I was in control.
“We can talk later,” I said, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “All you need to know right now is that I want you, Sin.” I pulled back enough to see his reaction.
A whirlwind of emotions ran across his face. Disbelief. Longing. Arousal. And finally that familiar smirk that was so definitively Sin.
“Whatever the princess desires.”
Then his mouth was on mine, devouring me with the hunger of a starved animal. Wrapping his arms around me, he flipped us and slammed me back against his bedroom door. His tongue warred with mine, and I didn’t care who won so long as I got to taste every inch of him.
His knee snaked between my legs, pushing them apart and causing my robe to slide open. He surged forward, his muscular thigh pressing against my center.
A moan slipped out, a desperate plea for more friction in that perfect spot.
He pulled his lips from mine, and a look of pure male satisfaction dominated his face. “Gods, Rain, your panties are already soaked.”
“I know,” I breathed out, unashamed of how strongly he affected me. I slid my hand down his taut chest and cupped him through his breeches. “I was thinking about you before I came here.”
He covered my hand with his own, making me squeeze him harder. “Is that so?” he mused, kissing and nipping the spot just below my ear. “And what were you doing while thinking about me?” His hand slid off mine to travel up my waist, stopping only when it reached my breasts.
I arched into him and whispered, “I was touching myself.”
The groan that escaped him was equal parts pain and pleasure. He captured my mouth again as he tore the robe from around my shoulders. His arms snaked around my back and pulled me into him tighter, sliding one of my legs up around his waist. The action brought my aching core closer to the thick bulge under his breeches, but I was still a few inches shy of where I wanted to be.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he growled. His hand gripped my ass, and he pulled me up so both of my legs were wrapped tightly around his midsection.
I rubbed my drenched panties against him, relishing the exquisite contact that came with this new position. Yanking his tunic up and over his broad shoulders, I lowered my head to run kisses down the corded muscles of his neck. “Tell me,” I urged, needing to hear that he felt the same way I did.
“I was useless today,” he replied, fisting my hair just hard enough to skate that line between agony and ecstasy. “I couldn’t train. I couldn't speak with my soldiers. I couldn’t do anything but think of you. I spent half the day painfully aroused, reliving the memory of you coming undone beneath me and imagining how it would feel it if were my cock instead of my fingers that brought you such pleasure.”
I nipped the outer shell of his ear. “Who taught you such a dirty word?”
He laughed, a low sensual sound that only added fuel to the fire between my legs. “You have no idea what I know, Fea Remia.”
He leaned forward and swirled his tongue around the taut peak that poked through the thin fabric of my bra. I pressed into him and he sucked it into his mouth.
“Show me,” I moaned. “I want all of it. All of you.”
The tension on my scalp relaxed as his hand moved away from my hair, instead travelling south to dip inside my panties. He abandoned my breast so his lips could find mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth just as he stroked his fingers languidly through my wet heat, causing every muscle in my body to tighten in anticipation.
I cried out, rolling my hips faster, urging him to do more, to take more. But right as I approached the edge, he released his grip on my ass and set me down on unsteady legs.
A pathetic whimper slipped out, but before I could complain, he dropped to his knees. Looking down at him, I nearly came just from the sight of such a powerful fighter kneeling before me.
He returned my heated gaze, gave me a sinful grin, then ripped my panties off with his bare hands.
In seconds, I was back on the edge, my body begging for the satisfaction only he could give me. “Sin,” I breathed out. "I won’t last much longer.”
With maddening slowness, he trailed kisses from my knee to my inner thigh, closer, ever closer, to where I burned for him. “Relax, Fea Remia. We have all night. And I do mean, all night. There are so very many naughty things I want to do to you, and I won't be denied this time.”
He swirled his tongue over my sensitive clit, and my knees started to buckle. Suddenly, without a hint of warning, he swept me up into his arms and tossed me onto the bed.
Bouncing from the rough throw, I almost begged him to do it again. At nearly six feet tall I’d never been with someone who made me feel small or dainty in the physical sense, and I craved more of it. For the first time in my life, I begged to be dominated in a way that made me feel wanted instead of weak. Sin didn't treat me like a broken doll. He treated me like someone who could take everything he had to give and more.
“You look so perfect spread open on my bed,” he purred as he unlaced his breeches and released a cock that had to be impressive even by Vitaean standards. He stroked himself roughly, watching me, his eyes taking in every inch of my body.
“Please, Sin,” I moaned, running my hands over my stomach and chest, desperate for him to replace them with his own.
My soft plea was all it took to break him. He yanked off his breeches and was on top of me before I could even get my bra off.
“That’s my job,” he breathed into my ear before gripping the strings and releasing my breasts from their confines.
I arched up into him, gasping as he slid a hand between us and ran a thumb over my clit.
The fire building inside me flared even brighter, and I cried out from the intensity. My flames had been quiet, content to allow me this pleasure, but now they were awake.
“Sin,” I cried as my skin started to prickle. “My fire… I can’t control it.”
“So don’t,” he offered as he notched himself at my entrance. “Lose control. I’ve got you.” With that declaration, he thrust inside me in one go, sheathing himself to the hilt.
The thickness of his shaft stretched me to the point just shy of painful, and I could think of nothing save for that deliciously full sensation.
I clenched my eyes shut and allowed my fire to rush to the surface, trusting Sin not to let me hurt him.
His pace was fast and hard, yet I could still feel him holding back. I opened my eyes and met his gaze, saw the restraint he was working so hard to hold onto as he pounded into me.
“Don’t,” I begged. “Don’t hold back. If I let go, you let go. Deal?”
“I’m not human. I don’t want to hurt you, Rain,” he panted, slowing his pace enough to look me in the eyes.
“You can’t hurt me, Sin. Just like you said I can’t hurt you.” I thrust my hips up, desperate for him to resume the furious pace. “Do it, Sin. Let. Go.”
He surrendered, and I felt him plunge so deeply inside of me that I was eternally ruined for any human man.
Gripping my low back, he pulled me up against him so every bit of my skin connected with every bit of his, angling his cock even further up inside me until he hit the spot that had me moaning uncontrollably with pleasure.
I should have been worried someone might hear us, but I was lost to the indulgence that was Sin. Flinging my head back, I cried out as my flames and orgasm erupted simultaneously, my entire body exploding with heat and euphoria.
“Sin!” My body bucked against him, the waves of my release crashed over me, and I barely registered a cool chill beating against my hot skin.
He continued to thrust faster and deeper, dragging every ounce of pleasure from me possible. When I thought I could take no more, his entire body tensed up, and he finished inside me with a thundering roar.
We crashed to the bed in a sweaty mess of entwined limbs.
After a moment, he rolled off me, still panting heavily, and I scanned the room. No scorch marks anywhere. No smoldering ashes. Nothing burnt.
I flipped on my side to face him, letting my hands roam across his undamaged chest.
“What happened?” I managed to get out despite my own heavy breathing and thundering heartbeat. “Why didn’t I burn you?”
He gave me a lazy smile. “Why Fea Remia, if I didn’t know better I’d think you wanted to cause a little pain.”
I smacked his arm lightly. “Ass. You know what I meant. I saw the flames. How are you ok?”
“I told you I wouldn’t let you hurt me,” he said softly, running a hand down the side of my face. He gestured behind me and I twisted to see what he was referring to.
On his nightstand, the glass of water was bone dry.
I ran a finger along my slick arm. “You…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence as I gaped open mouthed at him.
“I’m one of the most powerful aquiservians in Rivella, Rain. Coating your body with a thin layer of water to smother your flames took little effort. Which is good because I needed the other 99% of my attention to experience you shattering into a million pieces while I came inside you.”
“Fuck!” I shouted, bolting upright in bed, his last sentence destroying my bliss. “We didn’t use a condom, and I haven’t taken my birth control in over a week!”
His arm slid around my waist. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about that.”
He tried to pull me down against him, but I shoved his hands away. “Oh, I very much need to worry about that!”
He chuckled and tucked his arms behind his head. “I take it you still haven’t gotten a lesson about the differences between humans and Vitaeans then, huh?”
I glared at him. “No, I haven’t. Would you care to share with the class?”
“Well, there are a lot of differences, actually. We tend to run considerably warmer, most of our senses are better—hearing, smell, and so on. Though not to any biologically impossible extreme. We’re still carbon based life forms, same as you.”
“Oh my God!” I shouted, punching his shoulder considerably harder this time. “Can we save the lecture for a time when I’m not freaking out?”
“You did ask me to share with the class,” he said, smirking.
“Sin…” I warned, my voice heavy with the promise of vengeance.
“Fine, fine,” he said, tossing up his hands in a placating gesture. “Vitaeans are naturally sterile, Rain. There is no way I could impregnate you even if we fucked all night long.” He grinned. “And I do intend to make that happen as soon as you stop looking at me with murder in your eyes.”
I shook my head. “How is that even possible? You wouldn’t survive as a species if you were sterile.”
“No, we wouldn’t," he agreed. "There is, however, an herb that relaxes a certain muscle inside the male body. Without it, there are no… swimmers I guess you could say. Which means I can come inside you as often as I want. And, Rain? I very much want.”
Despite the heated promise in his eyes, my tension eased at his words, and I fell back against the pillows. “So, in my world, females have to poison our bodies with side-effect riddled hormones, but here, the guys only have to take an herb if they want a kid?”
I hated to admit it but damn. Dey might have been a tiny bit right. Vitaeans were superior to humans. At least in this one thing.
I snuggled up against Sin, and he ran his fingers through the loose waves of my hair. “There are a lot of things about Vitaea that are different from your world. Our evolution never lent itself to a biological drive to reproduce. Possibly because our source of magic is limited in how many may draw upon it.”
He ran a hand down my skin that no longer felt overheated, and I shifted so that my head was laying on his chest. I wanted to ask him questions—about Vitaea, about magic—but I had put off this conversation long enough.
“Sin,” I said quietly. “I need to tell you something.” His hands stilled in my hair, but he remained silent, allowing me to continue. “I asked Corym to do the language transfer. He couldn’t, not fully, because he was fighting against a mental block, but he was able to store the knowledge in my subconscious. I can’t speak it or understand it, but… I can catch snippets if I’m not paying attention.” I took a deep breath. “I've also been reliving past conversations in my dreams. When I do… I understand everything that was said in them.”
Sin’s body stiffened under me, and I wondered which conversation he was recalling that had him so nervous. I waited for him to speak, but he didn’t.
I shifted so I could look at him. “Say something.”
“How much do you remember?” he asked, his face dangerously neutral.
“Everything,” I whispered. “I remember you telling me that you love me. And I remember you telling me that you sacrificed so much to keep me away from here.” I paused when his eyes shuttered, but I had to ask. “What did you sacrifice for me, Sin?”
His eyes slowly opened and their lovely green hue was dampened by sorrow. “I can’t,” he confessed. “I can’t tell you, Rain.”
I nodded, unsurprised by his response after our earlier discussion. “I understand that but… do you want to tell me?”
Apparently that was the wrong thing to ask because Sin pulled away from me and sat up, swinging his legs over the side so his back was to me.
“No.” The word was so quiet, so faint, and yet it thundered through my ears.
He said wanted to tell me things, but apparently that didn't extend to whatever he had given up to protect me. And I had to decide if I could live with that.
I debated for a few seconds, but the answer came easy—I could. For now at least. I just wasn’t sure if I could forever.
I sat up and snaked my arms around his ribcage, pressing my face to his scarred back. “Okay. I can let it go.”
He reached down to where my hands were clasped around his bare waist and pulled them up so he could kiss each one of my knuckles.
I drew him back to the bed, my chest pressed against his back, letting him feel my skin against his. Neither of us had mentioned the L-word and maybe that was for the best. I didn’t know what I felt for Sin, but I did know it couldn’t be love.
We lay there in the heavy silence of the flickering light for a long while, languishing in this brief moment outside of time. No prophecies. No rifts between worlds. No manipulative kings. And definitely no secrets that might tear us apart.
We were just Rain and Sin. Two lost souls who had finally found a home.