Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
I had perished.
Death by orgasms. Carve it into my tombstone and make it official. Because waking up naked and sandwiched between Landon and Kingston?
I had to be in heaven.
The only thing that could’ve made it better, and hotter—literally and figuratively—was if my Dark Knight had joined us.
I crept out from between the two of them to go check on our missing link, turning back at the adjoining door just to stare at them for a minute.
Both curled toward the place where I’d slept, my heart ached over what they’d lost.
But I still had hope.
Hope that faded slightly when I went to Max’s room and found it empty. Not that I’d expected him to go along with my group cuddle idea. But I would’ve settled for him pulling me into his bed, too.
He also wasn’t in the bathroom, and even though a small seed of worry planted itself in my belly, I figured he’d gone to the gym or something.
I resigned myself to finding him later without a morning delight before the day got started.
When I rejoined Kingston and Landon in bed, Kingston woke as my head hit the pillow. He caught my concern as my eyes lingered on the path to Max’s room, and he brushed his thumb across the furrow in my brow.
But my mind wouldn’t leave thoughts of Max.
Thoughts of everything he’d been through and trying to solve the mystery of his past. How to unravel the pain that led to the way I’d found him the night before.
I could still feel his grief, even though it had settled well before we went to sleep.
I’d thought he’d been alright, but finding him gone this morning made me wonder if I should’ve left his side. Even though he accepted that my time had to be split, what if I’d messed it up?
“Are you alright?” Kingston whispered, concern in his eyes now matching mine.
“Something was going on with Max last night, and now I’m worried I’m not navigating all this very well.” My mouth twisted into a frown. “I’m not sure why, though. I know he gets it, I just…I’m worried about him.”
Kingston blinked sleep from his eyes, a crease forming in his brow.
“Did he say anything? I came to find you last night because I got a weird call. No one on the other line, just silent breathing. It might not have been breathing at all. I just wanted to check on you, and you weren’t in your room. Then, I found you here, and…”
“We had the best orgasm sandwich I’ve ever had? Yes, I remember.” I smiled briefly before the worry flooded back in. “But no, Max didn’t say anything that makes me think it’s related to that. Are you worried…?”
“No, not really. It was probably just a spam call, and I answered without realizing it.”
Whether he was only putting my mind at ease or truly unbothered, he distracted me with new thoughts of Max. “He doesn’t share much…Max, he closes off sometimes. And I’m still trying to get through, but I don’t know when or if he’ll let me in about certain things.”
Kingston sighed heavily, his concern for Max apparent on his face. “It’s not easy for him, I imagine. Some things, I’m not sure if they’re even true, and others, I’m not sure they’re mine to share. Or that you’d really want to hear it from me at this point.”
I shook my head, confirming that I wanted to hear Max’s story from him.
“But he’s…gone through a lot. His family life, as I’m sure you’ve pieced together, hasn’t been easy. Not since we were children and my father’s test…”
Thinking over the things Max had shared with me, I couldn’t help but wonder if that played into why he didn’t feel like he was good enough. And I wondered if, at the end of the day, what he’d chosen over Kingston had been worth it, or a regret he still held onto. Picking up the knife.
“What was it?” I finally asked. “The item Max coveted that finally got him to side with your father.”
Regret infiltrated Kingston’s voice as he shared that small piece of the truth with me. “His mother.”
“No.” My hands flew to my mouth, and I stared at him, eyes wide.
He nodded, the heaviness of their shared past lining his face with tension. When his jaw clenched, he held my gaze. “That’s how Merle Dread became my father’s right hand. Max chose his mother, but his father…”
“Oh my god.”
I couldn’t imagine what kind of monster made his son, or any boy, choose between their mother and another child. Or what kind of husband sacrificed their wife for power.
But the resentment between them, the hatred simmering beneath the surface whenever Max interacted with them, it made sense in a lot of ways. “Kingston, is this part of why he hates you both so much?”
“I believe it is. Some of it goes back to last year, but I think…I don’t know for certain what he was told about that day. What the test was for and what it meant that he’d chosen his mother. Most of the boys were told they’d succeeded. They’ve never held it against me, but then…”
“None of them refused more than once.”
Kingston shook his head.
“If Max knew all this, maybe he wouldn’t feel the way he does about you both. At least, I don’t think he would. He’d see that you’ve been pawns in this as much as he has.”
“Believe me, I’ve thought about telling him, but…
” He released a breath. “We can never predict or control how someone might react to the truth. And we shouldn’t.
Max would have every right to hate me, or Landon more, if he knew the whole truth.
Maybe simply because I couldn’t share it for so long.
Whether it seems rational to us or not, feelings are…
they’re just feelings. He’s entitled to them, because his life has been harder because of mine. ”
“But Kingston, you?—”
“It’s what he might do, Quinn. How he might act on those feelings. That’s the piece I can’t risk. Not with you involved. I mean it when I say if anything I’ve shared with you gets out before we reach the end, it’s over. Any chance we have to stop my father, it will be gone.”
“I hate this for them. I hate it for all of us.”
“I know, love.” He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly, as if to convince himself I was there and safe. “I do, too.”