Chapter 2
2
TATE
“Mr. Jacobs?” Austyn snaps his jaw shut, and although he hasn’t changed at all, not really, he seems bigger. Scarier. My sweet, fierce Austyn, who isn’t mine at all. The repulsion in his eyes has never been directed at me, and I jerk back in shock. My hand crashes into the counter display case, which has a domino effect. Candy and the business cards from the display next to it fly everywhere. I try to catch some, but hundreds of tiny Austyns float around me.
“For fuck’s sake, Tate, stop moving.”
I freeze as humiliation crashes over me, leaving my eyes stinging and my cheeks hot. Why am I such a fuck up? I drive everyone away. Or hurt them. I try to shake those thoughts off. Belinda wasn’t my fault.
If only I believed that.
I expect Austyn to start cleaning up, but instead, he grabs my hand. Sparks shoot through me again—hitting me harder than the live wire I caught on a job last month. I was distracted then too. He pulls me away from the mess, and I focus on the ground so I don’t step on a single picture of Austyn’s face. But my wide steps make me wobbly, and the room spins. Stupid dizziness is getting worse. I stumble over my feet and almost crash to the floor. Austyn grabs my arms and steadies me. Holy cow. He’s stronger than he looks. His brow wrinkles, and I want to brush his worry away. But more than that, every cell in my body urges me to hold him. Protect him at all costs. Which is just weird. I can’t even protect myself.
“Are you okay?” Austyn asks, his voice warm. At my nod, he lets go but holds his arms out like he’s ready to catch me again if needed. I clear my throat and stand to my full six feet seven inches. I’m not breaking down like a blubbering idiot in front of him.
“I sometimes get dizzy, but I’m good now.”
“Is that…?” He bites his bottom lip like he isn’t sure what to say or how to say it.
I’m distracted by his mouth. His full lips and perfect teeth. When his tongue flicks out, I imagine capturing his lips in a searing kiss. My breath catches, and I glance away. Why am I torturing myself? Austyn will never be interested in someone like me. He clears his throat, and my gaze returns to his beautiful face. “Is that why you’re here? Not today. I mean, why you first started coming here?”
I gape at him. It’s an odd thing to suggest. That I first visited his clothing store six months ago because of my dizziness. Even stranger is that it’s true. “Mrs. Callihan told me you could help.”
The corner of his mouth tips up, easing the tension in my body. “You never asked for my help, Tate.”
“I was going to…but—” I stop myself from admitting how smitten I am. Austyn treats me nicely. He’s friendly and sweet. And so damn sexy. I clear my throat, trying to dislodge the emotion choking me—most people aren’t nice. Not to me—and get my thoughts under control. “I chickened out.”
His smile is like the rising sun peeking through the mountains. Bright. Full of promise. When did I get so mushy? But the answer is obvious. Six months ago. “Tate? You’ve had plenty of chances since then.”
“It sounds stupid. ‘ I know you sell clothes, but can you help me not fall down anymore ?’”
“Oh, sweetness,” he says with a shake of his head. “It would have saved us a whole lot of time.”
I try not to blush at the endearment. Or take it to heart when my heart wants to engrave the word so I can hold on to it forever.
But then I focus on his other words. They make no sense. My confusion must show because he squeezes my bicep and winks. And that scrambles my brain even more.
He stuffs his hands in his pockets and captures my gaze. “What happened a week ago, Tate?”
“What do you mean?” My heart pounds faster as I tear my eyes away from his and stare at the tiny Austyns littering the floor. I’m overreacting. Everything’s fine. I just imagined something lurking in his eyes.
“I need you to be straight with me, Tate. I don’t care how crazy it sounds. This is important. Life and death important.”
My body trembles. Belinda said that too, and now—I choke back a sob. Now, she’s gone, and I’m all alone. Austyn takes my hand and squeezes. A sense of calm blankets me. Not quite alone. I close my eyes and nod. The words escape in a rush. “I was visited by a pirate. A very short pirate.”
“Rude.” The voice comes from the other side of the store. The pirate. How did he get in without us noticing? The bell didn’t ring. But I’m almost relieved to see him. He doesn’t only exist in my imagination or due to one too many Miller Lites. “Did I call you a giant?” he asks as he strolls toward us. “No. So maybe show some respect.”
I step in front of Austyn, ready to fight if needed. Not that I know how to fight, but I’ll give it my all to keep Austyn safe. The pirate laughs. Now who’s being rude?
Austyn pats my arm as he steps around me. “You’re so sweet, Tate,” he says, his eyes never leaving the pirate. And then louder. “What are you doing here, Walter?”
Wait. They know each other?
“Taking care of business as usual. I tried to wait while you boys talked out your feelings, but I’m sorta on a time crunch.”
Austyn stands straighter and widens his stance as if preparing for something. “I’m not doing this.”
What is he talking about? I hate being in the dark. But I’m used to it. Way too used to it.
“Already accepted the assignment, haven’t ya?” He points a jewel-encrusted finger at Austyn. “Payment has been rendered. This is happening, sweetheart, whether ye like it or not.”
“Walter…” Austyn growls a warning, but I can’t look at him. I gulp air, trying to push the nausea down. Now it all makes sense. I’m an assignment. He’s been so sweet. So nice. Did I really believe he was interested in me?
“Before you get all ragey on me, Aus, remember the innocent lad.”
An exasperated sound from Austyn jerks my focus to him. He relaxes his fighting stance, his arms lowering and his head bowing. He looks…defeated.
Anger surges through me, awakening every muscle in my body. No one treats Austyn that way. I step forward, and both men stare at me with wide eyes as if they can read my thoughts or sense the change in me.
Austyn grabs my hand and jerks until I look down and our eyes meet. “It’s fine, Tate. Walter isn’t going to hurt us. Hurt me. I promise.”
The fury evaporates, replaced by calm as my body and emotions stand down. How is he able to do with a look and a touch, something I’ve been struggling to do my entire life? Well, mostly in the last six months.
“Good lad.” Walter cackles, earning him a glare from Austyn. “Now that we understand each other, listen up. We need your boy ready as soon as possible, Aus.”
“Why?” Austyn’s hand tightens on mine. Is he afraid I’ll leave? Or that Walter will whisk me away? “These things take time. You know that.” His voice is hard as he glares at Walter, not backing down.
The shop is quiet. Peaceful. But that’s on the surface. The air crackles between them. A silent fight. One I don’t understand.
“Make sure he’s ready.” Walter rests his hand on his sword and his eyes settle on me as if I’m a captured bird and he’s preparing to pounce. Something wild and menacing flashes through his eyes, and my heart rate triples in response. The easygoing pirate is gone. This is the real Walter. Dangerous. Relentless. “You agreed to this, Tate.”
“But—” The words die on my lips. I was desperate. Willing to do anything. What if this is worse?
“Leave him alone.” Austyn’s voice is quiet but just as dangerous.
Walter glares at him and then blinks a few times. His body seems to relax, and then he waves his hat and bows. “Later, gents. I’ll be back.”
T his is really happening.
The next morning, I take a deep breath of cool mountain air and push open the door to Austyn’s shop. The minute I step inside, a familiar feeling washes over me. One I struggle to identify. Not because it doesn’t feel right but because it can’t be right. This isn’t my place. My home.
I search the shop, skipping over the beautiful clothing, the few customers this early in the morning, and the scary assistant smirking at me until I find what I’m after. Austyn is straightening clothes on a rack, but he looks up as if he can sense me watching him. He smiles and lifts a hand in greeting. My heart does this flip-floppy thing, and I can’t stop the grin on my face.
The bell jingles, alerting me, and then a squeaky voice says, “Mister, you’re blocking the door.”
Moving out of the way, I bump into a mannequin and grab it so it doesn’t fall. I sigh in relief. I’m determined to not make a mess this time. If it wasn’t for the kid—but that’s exactly the reminder I need. Austyn didn’t sense my presence. He was alerted by the bell. This isn’t my home, and Austyn Burkes isn’t my person.
I don’t deserve someone so sweet and good.
His assistant, Rad—I think—rushes over and unclasps each of my fingers from the mannequin’s dress. “Hey there, big guy. The boss is expecting you, so let’s go over here…” Taking my arm, he guides me around the displays and mutters under his breath, “Where you can’t destroy everything.”
His words stop me. This was a bad idea. I’m a fuck up, and nothing Austyn does will change that. Rad continues pulling my arm, but since I’ve stopped, so has he.
He swirls around. “Why did you—” At my look, his eyes widen, his purple brows almost reaching his hairline. “Did you hear me? I was whisper—” He cuts off, and his gaze darts to Austyn for another silent exchange.
Irritation skitters over my body. I yank my arm out of his grasp, and he stumbles, knocking over a stand holding pantyhose. Do people even wear pantyhose anymore? Then Rad slips and falls, and even though, technically, it’s my fault, I can’t help but laugh. Rad gapes at me from his bed of hosiery, and I slap my hands over my mouth. I really hate when people laugh at me.
“Sorry. I didn’t—sorry.” I extend my hand, but he just stares at it. Is he worried I’ll topple us both? Although, honestly, that’s fair.
Rad jumps to his feet and brushes off his clothes. His mouth twitches like he’s holding back a smile.
“What’s going on here?”
I jerk around at the sound of Austyn’s voice and almost go down. Rad grabs my arm to steady me. Packets of pantyhose litter the floor, and I stare at them, not wanting to see the disappointment in Austyn’s eyes. “Sorry, I’ll pick them up.”
“Tate, look at me.”
My face is hot as I do as he asks. But Austyn doesn’t seem upset. He smiles and it matches the warmth in his blue eyes. When he looks at me like that, I feel like I’m not as broken. Almost good enough.
He holds out his hand, and when I don’t take it right away, he wiggles his fingers. “Come on. Let’s do your fitting.”
I take his hand and the current shoots through me and into him, raising the hair on his arm. His eyes widen and his mouth opens, but he doesn’t say a word. He nods at Rad and leads me through a door in the back labeled Employees Only .
The hallway takes us past several rooms. One is an office with a desk, a computer, and a few comfortable-looking chairs. The door to the other room is closed, but it’s labeled Storage . The last room is large, with splashes of color from the many bolts of material. A sewing machine sits on a long table. I avoid the floor-to-ceiling mirror as Austyn waves for me to sit on the couch against the wall. The blue cushions are worn, but the couch is comfortable.
Austyn flits around the room, his movements graceful as he gathers what he needs—a notebook, a pencil, and a tape measure —and arranges them on the table next to the couch. His head is bent, exposing the delicate curve of his neck. Dark shadows on the side of his neck peek out from the edge of his collar. Does he have a tattoo? He makes notes in his book. His fingers are elegant and capable. I remember the feel of his strong fingers squeezing my arm. His small hand in mine. I imagine turning his hand over and kissing the delicate skin of his wrist. Capturing his rapid pulse with my lips.
Shit. I clasp my hands in front of me to hide my reaction and fight my overwhelming need to hold him. I need to stop wanting things I can’t have. My heart pounds desperately in my chest. I’m achingly hard already, and he’s not even touching me yet.
The animal side wants to take over and I can’t let that happen. As hard as it is to believe, there’s something special between Austyn and me. The current when we touch. The warmth in his eyes.
Would he still smile at you if he knew what you’ve done? The people you hurt?
The reminder works better than a freezing shower.
“Ready?” Austyn asks, sounding breathless.
“Y-yeah…” My voice squeaks, so I clear my throat and try again. “Yes. Ready.”
He nods and shows me where to stand. His eyes never meet mine. Does he regret helping me? Did he notice my boner? Could he tell what I was thinking? Crap. Can he read my mind? I stumble on the carpet, and his hands—and those long fingers—wrap around my biceps. The current is less shocking this time. Still intense but expected, maybe? Grounded?
“Careful, Tate.” His eyes finally reach mine, and for a moment, I’m lost. Running in the woods. Away from something? Or toward it? His fingers tighten, and something flashes in his eyes. Desire? Hunger? That can’t be right. He releases me and takes a step back. “Are you good?”
I nod, not trusting my voice. His woodsy scent surrounds me, and although it’s exciting—don’t focus on that—it’s also calming. I trust Austyn. More than I trust anyone.
More than I trust myself.
He gives me a quick smile and then his face clears as he gestures for me to turn around. “This shouldn’t take long. Just stand in a relaxed position.”
His voice sounds less warm. Professional. Reminding me that this is his job. He measures from one shoulder to the other. Then, he measures from the top of my shoulder to the end of my wrist. Then my biceps. His movements are quick and impersonal. Until he stands on his toes to wrap the tape measure around my neck. His blond hair has streaks of gold. Is it as soft as it looks? I clench my hands to keep from reaching for him.
“Relax, Tate.” His breath teases my skin, and my mouth suddenly has too much saliva. I swallow, loudly, and his eyes dart to mine. That something—hunger—flashes again before he looks away. Is Austyn attracted to me? My chest tightens at the possibility. Until reason interferes. After Belinda, how could I risk it?
I can’t think about that and relax, so I focus on the mannequin torso in the corner of the room. Unlike the hard plastic ones in the store, this one seems to be covered with a soft-looking material. It helps distract me, and Austyn gets his measurements, writing them down with a small pencil he tucks behind his ear. Then his hands are on me again, measuring my chest.
“Are you doing okay, Tate? Do you need a break?”
“I’m fine. Good.” I nod to emphasize how good I am. The opposite is true, but that’s my problem, not his.
He opens his mouth and closes it again, biting his lip. The familiar fears crop up. He regrets helping me. He noticed my boner. But how could I help it? His hands were everywhere. I avoid his eyes and stare at the innocent dummy. A lack of arms and a bottom half would be welcome right now.
“Tate…” Something in his voice grabs my attention. His eyes are downcast and pink blossoms across his cheeks. “I need to measure for pants.”