CHAPTER EIGHT | London
CHAPTER EIGHT
London
Eleven years earlier...
“You were amazing!” Penn jogs toward me, pulling me into his arms the instant he reaches me. I breathe in his intoxicating scent, my heart doing that weird flutter in my chest that it seems to always do when Penn touches me.
“Thanks.” I try to play it cool when on the inside I feel like there are enough butterflies in my stomach that I’m not entirely sure how my feet are still planted to the earth.
Stepping back to look up at him, the rush has nothing to do with the recital that just ended and everything to do with the boy standing in front of me.
I don’t know when it happened. When Penn went from my friend to the boy who makes me feel like my heart is going to fall out of my butt every time our eyes meet. All I know is that it did happen and now I don’t know how to act around him.
I overthink everything. Every word. Every move. Every breath. He’s gone from being the person I’m most comfortable with to someone who makes me feel anything but comfortable, but in the best way possible.
“I’ll never understand how you can bend and flip like that.” He runs a hand through his dark hair that now hangs almost to his shoulders.
I have a sudden flash of my hand running through those silky locks and I’m not exaggerating when I say my knees tremble a little at the thought.
“Practice.” I grin. “Lots and lots of practice.”
“So I talked to your parents and asked if me and my mom could take you out for dinner and ice cream. They said yes. I mean, if you want to go.”
“I do,” I say too quickly.
“Cool.” He rocks back on his heels in that easy way of his.
“Cool,” I agree, inwardly cringing at how stupid I probably sound saying the same thing he just said back to him.
“My mom is waiting for us in the car.”
“Okay. Let me tell my parents I’m leaving.”
“I’ll go with you.” He steps up next to me, taking my hand in his. I nearly squeal in delight but do my best to keep it together. It’s not like Penn has never held my hand before. So why does this time feel so different?
We find my parents easily enough and after a brief exchange, I leave with Penn. It’s dark when we push our way outside and while normally the dark doesn’t bother me, I cling to Penn a little tighter anyway. Always my comfort.
“So I have a confession to make...” Penn stops short of the parking lot. “I know I said I asked your parents if we could take you to dinner, but my mom isn’t actually going to dinner with us. She’s just going to drop us off, if that’s okay.”
“So you lied...” I tease, though I don’t know if it comes out teasingly or not, given how tight my throat feels at the moment.
He drops my hand as he turns toward me, and I immediately miss the contact, so much so that I almost reclaim his hand because it feels impossible not to.
That’s how Penn Kade makes me feel. Impulsive. Like I’m not in control of my own body or emotions when he’s around.
“Well, it wasn’t a total lie.”
Does he seem nervous all of a sudden?
But that can’t be right. Penn doesn’t have a nervous bone in his body.
“Okay.” I don’t try to hide my confusion.
“We are going out for dinner and ice cream; that part was true. Only it will be just you and me.”
“Just you and me,” I reiterate back to him, not sure why he feels the need to clarify, given that we’ve gone places just him and me before.
“Like a date.” He looks at the ground like he’s too nervous to meet my gaze.
My world turns on its axis.
“A date?” I blurt in surprise, having not expected that in the least.
I mean, there have been signs, little things that make me think maybe he feels it too, this shift between us. But normally, I chalk it up to my overactive mind seeing what it wants to see and not what’s actually there.
“Is that okay?” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other.
“Yes!” I answer way too enthusiastically. “Yes,” I repeat a second time, more calmly. “I would like that.”
The smile that spreads across his face is one that dreams are made of. A portrait that I wish I could capture for all eternity so that when I think back to this day, I can remember exactly what he looked like in this moment and how it made me feel.
“Cool.”
“Cool.” There I go again, repeating back to him what he already said to me.
“Well, since we’re officially going on a date.” He steps closer and my heart instantly begins to beat a new cavity in my chest, it’s pounding so hard. “I have one more question for you, LV, and it’s one I’ve wanted to ask you for a while now.”
“Okay.” I attempt to swallow past the lump that has formed in my throat, but the action feels impossible.
“Can I kiss you?”
I suck in an audible breath, my legs trembling so violently it’s a wonder they are able to still support my weight.
I open my mouth to say yes, but no words come out. I’m stunned speechless.
So I do the only thing a girl can do when her mouth seems to fail her—I nod.
It happens in slow motion.
Penn steps closer, his tall, lean body now pressed to mine in a way that feels more intimate than ever before. His hand slides across my cheek to the back of my head, angling my face up to him.
I’ve never kissed a boy before. Heck, I’ve never kissed anyone, at least not in this way.
He leans down, his face moving closer to mine. I hold my breath, praying that it will somehow mask how epically I am freaking out right now. Somehow, I think it only makes it more obvious.
I catch the small smile that turns up the corners of Penn’s mouth, like he knows exactly what I’m thinking, before there’s no more room between us.
His lips are softer than I imagined as he presses them to mine. One peck, a second, and then I feel his tongue slide across the seam of my mouth, asking for permission I more than willingly give. Even though I have no idea what I’m doing, instinct has me opening for him.
When his tongue slides across mine for the first time, I know right then and there that everything is about to change.
For a fourteen-year-old girl, I can’t imagine life gets any better than this.
“PLEASE TELL ME WHY I had to hear you were back in town from Cat Stewart of all people.”
I break out of my daydream, glancing up to see my oldest friend, Josie, slide into the booth across from me, not waiting to be invited to do so.
I came to Johnny’s in hopes of getting a little time to myself.
Time to research some options and figure out my next move, because staying here isn’t it.
I thought I could do it. Now I see just how delusional my desperation made me.
Only I didn’t do any research. Hence why my laptop is still closed on the table in front of me.
“I’m sorry, Jos, I meant to call you,” I immediately say, taking in the sight of her for the first time in nearly a year.
Josie was the only person, outside of my family, that I stayed in touch with after I left.
She even came to spend every New Year’s Eve with me in New York, which are some of my fondest memories of living there.
Funny that it took a person from home to make me appreciate how lucky I was to be there, living the life I had always dreamed of.
How quickly that dream turned into a nightmare...
“Sure you did. I haven’t heard from you in nearly two months. You’ve not called me back or answered any of my texts other than vague one-word responses.”
“I know. I’m sorry. So much has happened. I just needed some time to process,” I admit. Partly true. I did need time. I’ve also been hiding from my failure.
“Are you about done processing? My best friend of twenty years moves back home and has been here for weeks, and I’ve only just found out.”
“Surely, my mom told your mom.”
“Well, maybe she would have if my mom were home. She and her new boyfriend have been in Barbados for the last month, probably blowing through my inheritance.”
“Jos.”
“I’m kidding. I’m kidding.” She grins. “Seriously, though. Why didn’t you call me?”
“Honestly?”
“Always.”
“I was embarrassed. I mean, obviously, I had every intention of telling you, but it never seemed like the right time. I basically hid in my bedroom the first two weeks I was here until my parents forced me to get a job.”
“Yeah, I heard about the job...” She gives me an apologetic look, her chocolate brown eyes full of sympathy. “Patty did that crap on purpose.”
“I’m convinced that she did.”
“Ridiculous. Grown woman and she still acts like she’s in high school.
At least it’s obvious where Cat gets it from.
Though I’m not sure if that makes it better or worse.
” She tosses a thick strand of dark brown hair over her shoulder as she leans in closer, resting her arms on the table.
“Penn must have fallen and hit his head pretty damn good to be screwing that trollop.”
“Aren’t you friends with said trollop?” I arch a brow at her.
“Fake friends, and only to keep the peace. You know she’s best friends with my cousin.”
“I remember.”
“I’m forced to be friendly to her hag bag friends when she went out of her way to be horrible to mine.” She doesn’t have to clarify that she’s talking about me. That much is pretty clear. “But it beats the alternative. A few forced smiles and pleasantries and my aunt Courtney stays off my butt.”
“I get it. Families are hard.”
“Families are the worst.” She snorts. “Anyways, enough about Cat. How are you?”
“I’m hanging in there. Barely.”
“And Penn? How has that situation been?”
“He’s the reason I’m barely hanging in there.” I blow out a hard breath.
“That bad?”
“Worse.” I shake my head. “I expected him to be different with me—it has been seven years. What I wasn’t prepared for was his anger. It’s like... It’s like he hates me.”
“Oh, please. Penn Kade doesn’t have it in him to hate a single hair on that perfect little head of yours. He’s just got his panties in a twist because you left.”
“You haven’t seen the way he is toward me, Jos. It’s brutal. He barely speaks to me and when he does, he’s so mean. Like mean in a way I didn’t know Penn could be. My only saving grace has been Alec.”
Josie’s demeanor completely changes at the mention of Alec Kade and, in truth, I’m not entirely sure why. Last I knew, the two were friends and had been since high school. We were all kind of a package deal, Josie, me, Penn, and Alec—even if he was two years behind us.
“Why do I get the impression I just hit a sore spot?” I can’t help but ask, curiosity getting the better of me.
“Maybe because you have.” It’s her turn to blow out a long sigh.
“Uh-oh. What happened?”
“Lacy Pachellie’s wedding reception and three bottles of champagne happened.” She grimaces.
“Please tell me you did not sleep with Alec Kade...” I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips. I don’t mean to find humor in her obvious discomfort, but I can’t help it. I know Alec is good-looking and all, but he’s... Alec. Penn’s little brother.
Though even as I think it, I have to remind myself that just the other day, I myself was thinking about how good-looking he’s become. Not that he wasn’t always a cute kid, but that’s just it; he was a kid. And he most certainly is not anymore.
“I wish I could.”
“Josie! And I’m just now finding out about it?!”
“Maybe if you’d answer your phone every now and again,” she fires at me.
“Fair. But Alec Kade? Really, Jos?”
“I know. I know. Biggest mistake ever.”
“Was it? A mistake, I mean?”
“Very much so.”
“But I mean, he is pretty hot.”
“Don’t remind me.”
“And you’re hot.” Which is so true. Josie has always been one of the prettiest people I’ve ever seen and remains so to this day. “Now that I think of it, you two would make quite the couple.”
“I’m going to stop you right there. I will not ever, and I do mean ever, date a man like Alec Kade. Even if maybe I once thought it could be in the cards for us, he ruined that when he screwed Eliza Turner less than twenty-four hours after I left his bed.”
“He didn’t?” I blanch.
“Oh, he did. I don’t know if you’ve learned this little tidbit about grownup Alec, but he’s a major whore. And I mean, screws anything that moves.”
“I’m sorry, Jos.”
“Don’t be. I’m not.”
“Okay, so don’t hate me, but I have to ask...”
“He was fantastic. Like best sex of my life.” She doesn’t even let me ask the question before answering. “Which I guess makes sense, given all the practice he’s had.”
I laugh. I can’t help it.
Alec and Josie. I just can’t wrap my head around it.
“I’m so glad you can find so much humor in my messed-up life.”
“I’m sorry.” Laughter still vibrates my words. “Honestly, it’s just nice to focus on someone else’s problems for once instead of drowning in my own.”
“I get it. And while I’m pissed you didn’t tell me you were home, I’m also really glad that you are. Maybe now Wren Cove will get a little interesting.”
“I don’t know, sounds like you’ve kept things interesting all on your own.” I can’t help but say.
“You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”
“Never.” I grin.
“Well, if you’re going to rub my nose in my own poop, the least you can do is buy me a burger.” She leans back in the booth, crossing her arms in front of her slender frame.
“I’m honestly not sure I can afford to,” I admit, mildly embarrassed by just how broke I really am. “I may have walked out of work today. For all I know, I no longer have a job.”
“You really think Penn would fire you?”
“Honestly, yes.” I snort.
“Not a chance. Either way, it’s on me.” She gives me a smile.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I don’t have to do anything but pay taxes and die.
Now shut up and let me treat my best friend to a fat cheeseburger so she can eat her feelings.
” Without giving me a chance to argue, she pivots in the booth.
“Hey, Lyla!” she calls to the woman behind the bar.
Small town, remember? Everyone knows everyone.
“Can we get two burgers? And don’t skimp on the fries. ”
“You got it.” She nods, not batting an eye.
“Thank you,” Josie calls back before her attention swings back to me. “Now, tell me everything happening with one Penn Kade. And don’t you dare leave out a single detail.”