CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO | London
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
London
Eight years earlier...
“What do you see when you think about the future?” Penn asks, hand brushing mine as we lie on our backs on the trampoline in my backyard, looking up at the stars.
“I see lights, a stage, a cheering crowd.” I smile, able to picture it so vividly because it’s where I’ve spent basically my entire life.
Though I have bigger aspirations than performing in the high school musical every year and definitely bigger than dancing on that tiny stage where most of our dance recitals are held.
I’m ready for more. Bigger. Better. The top. That’s where I want to be, at the very top. The best in the business. The dancer every other dancer strives to be like. I want it so badly I can taste it.
“I knew you were going to say that.” He chuckles. “But what about outside of dance? What do you see for your life?”
I turn my head to find Penn’s gaze already locked on me.
“You,” I answer without hesitation.
“Marriage. Kids. The whole white picket fence?” He rolls to his side, and I mirror his actions so that we’re now facing each other.
“I don’t know about kids or a white picket fence...”
“Does that mean you’d marry me?” He smirks, arm extending seconds before his fingers graze my temple, sliding a chunk of hair away from my face.
“Today. Tomorrow. Right now.” The smile on my face feels permanently etched, like nothing could wipe it away.
“You’d marry me right now?” His eyes seem to twinkle under the light of the full moon.
“Well, I don’t think our parents would allow it, but yes, if I could marry you right now, I would.”
“I love you.” He leans closer, lips finding mine as if the only map he knows leads directly to them.
“I love you,” I murmur against his mouth.
“Forever?” He pulls back just enough to meet my gaze.
“Forever,” I confirm.
“You swear it?”
“On my life.”
“Don’t swear on your life, LV. It means too damn much.” His tongue darts out, sliding over the lip piercing that I’ve grown quite fond of as of late.
When he first got it, I wasn’t sure. It felt very bad boy, if you know what I mean. And while Penn is not what I would classify as straight edge in the least, he’s not exactly a bad boy either. In fact, he’s the opposite of a bad boy. At least, when it comes to me. Wild child seems more fitting.
He doesn’t like to fit into the norm. Doesn’t like when others set their expectations on him. He is unapologetically himself and it’s one of the things I love the most about him.
“Well, it’s yours anyways. My life. My heart. Everything that I am... It belongs to you,” I say, running my fingers through his silky locks.
“My life. My heart. Everything that I am... It belongs to you.” He repeats my words back to me.
I’ve spent my life reading books, watching movies and television shows, but not even in the most outlandish tales of love did anything ever hold a candle to what Penn and I share.
A love crafted in the stars. No matter what time or distance may stand in our way, he is my home. And I will always find my way home...
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S pregnant?” My mom looks at me like I’ve just sprouted horns.
“Eight weeks, apparently.” I blow out a hard breath.
It’s been two days since Cat showed up at Penn’s and dropped an atomic bomb on the ruins of the life I was attempting to piece back together.
I don’t remember much about that day. Josie picked me up.
I cried for the first time in a long time—and by cried I mean sobbed my eyes out for two solid hours.
Not even her telling me that she told Alec to pound sand when he tried yet again to convince her to go on a date could snap me out of it.
And usually hearing about other people’s drama is the trick to helping me forget my own.
But there’s no forgetting this.
There’s no pretending like this doesn’t exist.
Just when I thought things were starting to look up... I should have known better. The universe has been punishing me since the day I left Wren Cove, since the day I left Penn... Nothing has been right since that day.
Nothing until the last couple of days. Two perfect days spent with the man I’ve never stopped loving, not even for a day.
It doesn’t matter that I tried to pretend I didn’t.
It doesn’t matter that I spent nearly seven years in denial.
All that matters is that I can admit the truth now, that I love him just as much today as I always have.
But we are a love written in the stars, and like the stars that burn bright for millions of years, we too eventually will burn out.
Maybe that’s what this is. They say the brightest stars burn out the fastest. Maybe our love has simply run its course, and this is the way fate has decided to tell us it’s over.
But Cat and Penn... That can’t be the way this story ends.
Can it?
“Oh, honey.” My mom’s eyes fill with a soft pity that nearly breaks me in two.
“I just... I can’t believe it. After everything we’ve been through to finally make our way back to each other, only to be torn apart by something like this.”
“Have you spoken to him?”
“No.” I swipe at a tear that manages to slip past my lashes. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Sometimes saying anything is better than saying nothing. I’m sure he’s probably having a really hard time right now and your support could be what gets him through this. This doesn’t have to be the end. Just because things turn out differently than you expect, doesn’t mean they have to be over.”
“I can’t, Mom. I can’t stand by and watch him raise a child with another woman, especially with that woman being Cat Stewart. It would break me.”
“So then what’s your plan?”
“I think I need to get out of here for a while.”
“You’re leaving? Again?” She doesn’t try to hide how much she dislikes this idea. “What about the studio? You’re supposed to meet with the landlord next week. Your father pulled a lot of strings to get you bumped to the top of the list of possible renters. You can’t just not show.”
“That was Penn’s idea,” I say bitterly.
“And? That doesn’t make it a bad one. Honey, you were born with dancing in your blood. I think you need this more than you realize.”
“So I can do what? Open a studio so that in five years I’ll be forced to teach Cat and Penn’s daughter?”
“One, you don’t know it’s a girl. And two, there’s no saying this child will be interested in dance, boy or girl.”
“Oh, you can bet with Cat as their mother, dance will be their whole personality, and she will have raised them that way to spite me.”
“I don’t mean to be cruel, but I think you’re overestimating your importance in Cat’s life.”
“You only say that because you don’t know her the way I do.”
She lets out a long sigh.
“So then you’re just going to disappear again? Give up?”
“It’s not giving up if you’ve already lost,” I grumble.
“Sounds like something a quitter would say.”
“I am not quitting, Mom! I’m cutting my losses and trying to save some of my fragile pride in the process.”
“And your job? You’re going to quit without notice? Leave them without a bookkeeper?”
“Janet comes back in like two weeks. They’ll manage.”
She looks at me for a long moment, like she wants to say something but isn’t sure she should.
“I’m disappointed,” she finally says, standing from the table. “You’re not the woman I thought you were.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I call to her back as she starts to walk away. “Mom!”
She stops for a brief moment, looking at me over her shoulder.
“The daughter I raised was fearless. There was no obstacle she couldn’t overcome when it meant enough to her. I don’t know when running away became your default, but I think you’ll find problems have a way of following you. A change of scenery won’t change that.”
“Maybe not. But at least I won’t have to watch the man I love raise a child with a woman I can’t stand,” I retort, voice tight as I fight to keep my emotions in check.
“Then I hope you can live with yourself for letting her win.” With that, she exits the kitchen.
Her words spin in my head for several hours as I pack, unpack, and then pack again. I want to leave. I want to hop in an Uber and tell them to drive. I want to leave Wren Cove so far in the rearview mirror that this town and everyone in it become a distant memory.
But doing so without telling Penn...
He deserves to know.
He deserves a proper goodbye.
And while saying goodbye to him a second time might be even harder than the first, I owe him that much.
So, before I can change my mind, I type out a quick message—we need to talk—and hit send.
His reply doesn’t come right away, but when it finally does, it simply reads: I’ll be on Northern Star for the next hour.
Without responding, I slip on my shoes and head for the door, not bothering to ask my mom if I can borrow her car before snagging her keys from the table next to the front door.
The drive to the docks is a tense one, the rocks in my stomach multiplying a hundredfold in the ten minutes it takes me to get there.
It’s late evening, so it’s quiet when I arrive. With most of the ships already out on the water for the night or several nights depending on the vessel, Northern Star stands out like a beacon under the moonlight, almost as if it’s calling me home.
Home.
I’m not even sure what that word means anymore.
My steps feel weighted, like my shoes are filled with lead.
Still, I put one foot in front of the other, forcing myself to keep moving forward.
By the time I reach the ship, my heart is beating a million miles a minute in my chest, pounding so hard against my rib cage that I can feel the impact vibrate throughout my entire body.
One step. Another and then another until I’m climbing the gangway.
And then suddenly, there he is. Back to me, looking out over the water, the sky and ocean the perfect backdrop to his broad shoulders and silky dark hair.
He hears me come onboard, I know he does, but he doesn’t turn to look at me.
I cross the deck, lungs burning like I’ve just run a marathon.