Chapter Four Cameron #2
After Cam had finished his coffee, showered and changed, he walked over to the famous signpost, reminding him, as if he wasn’t painfully aware, that Jenna was 874 miles away, although she might as well be in New York – 3,230 miles away – for all it mattered.
Overlooking the rocky beach, he watched people hold their baseball caps in their hands to battle the blustery wind despite the emerging sun, grinning madly as they took photos at the signpost or sat outside the picturesque cafés.
Iona appeared with a paper bag, her crinkly ponytail flying to the side.
‘Brought you some lunch.’
‘Not a haggis panini, I hope?’
She wrinkled her nose. ‘That’s only for the punters. It’s chicken, tomato and pesto. Protein and veggies. As you like it.’
‘Thanks.’
Iona also produced two cans of Irn-Bru, and they walked to the harbour, where fishing boats sheltered and a ferry bobbed up and down as it made its way over to the Orkney Islands, eight miles across the Pentland Firth.
Iona dived right in. ‘So what’s this about?’
Cam took a deep breath. ‘A woman.’
‘A woman? You are kidding me?’
‘Is it that surprising?’
Blinking slowly, Iona turned to give him her full attention. ‘Yes. Considering everyone thought you’d taken a vow of lifelong celibacy after Rachel.’
Cam shrugged. ‘I haven’t. I mean, I didn’t mean to. It – has been difficult.’
Iona patted his arm. ‘I know. Well, I don’t, because I haven’t lost the love of my life, thank goodness, but I can see what you’ve been going through. But you can’t grieve forever. It’s been three years.’
He flinched. Three years. How had the time slipped away so fast, like water-down-a-waterfall fast, and yet sometimes so heavy it had passed by without him even noticing.
He felt a pang of guilt. Was he really ready?
But when he thought of Jenna, he knew it was time to be honest. He’d never stop loving Rachel, but it was time to move on.
‘So, have you told this woman how you feel? – because I’m guessing not, as you’re talking to me about it.’
‘Yeah. I – did think of confessing to James, or any of my other male mates, but I— They won’t understand.’
‘They might.’
‘Not like you.’
‘Well, I’m touched by your trust. Yes, really. Stop looking at me as if I’m being sarcastic. So, you have to tell this woman how you feel. Because you can’t grieve forever. Well, you probably can and always will grieve for her, but brutally, you also have to look to the future.’
Cam shook his head. ‘I can’t. She’s engaged.’
‘As in to be married?’
‘Yes. To a builder called Nate.’
Iona winced. ‘Oh, shit.’
Cam had expected ‘tough love’ from Iona and found it strangely comforting that she was being sympathetic. ‘Yeah.’ He downed a glug of Irn-Bru for courage. ‘And I may have told her that you and me are – an item.’
‘Cam!’ Iona swatted his arm. ‘Why the hell did you do that?’
‘I don’t know. I suppose I was in shock when I realised she was engaged. We were on a call and . . . I was trying to ask her on a date.’
‘Up here?’
‘No, I suggested I go down there, to Cornwall, and she thought I meant to see the whole team and then her workmates burst in with party poppers and kicked off a surprise engagement party.’
Iona groaned. ‘Cam. Why have you got yourself into this? The first person you are remotely interested in since Rachel died.’
‘Not remotely,’ he muttered. ‘Literally, yes, but . . .’ Remote wasn’t a word he’d use to describe the way he felt about Jenna.
‘And you’ve fallen for her like a bloody stone and she’s getting married?’
‘I realise it’s hopeless.’
‘Hmm.’ Iona crushed her empty can in one hand and chucked it in a bin. ‘It does sound pretty hopeless.’ She looked at him and a gleam of ruthlessness lit her eyes. ‘Does she like him, her fiancé?’
‘If you’re implying I should try to break them up, there’s no way I’d do that.’
Iona shrugged. ‘Why not? I persuaded Laura to go out with me – and she was almost engaged.’
‘Almost isn’t actually, and you did Laura a favour. Her partner was evil.’
Iona beamed with satisfaction. ‘True . . . so what’s this Nate like?’
‘I can hardly judge after seeing him online for about two minutes.’ True, Cam had made his assessment of Nate. He was tall but not as tall as Cam, with blond hair, probably dyed to look more surfer-boy. Looked like he might lift a lot of weights but then again, he was a builder.
‘That’s long enough to know if he’s a twat.’
‘He – seems protective, from what I can make out. He helped her grieving family when her brother died.’
‘Oh dear. That’s bad. If he’s kind and thoughtful. The important thing is: how does she seem – with Mr Perfect?’
‘I – can’t really say.’
‘Yet you’ve known her for a while? And well enough to fall madly in love over a screen?’
‘She’s a good person. Kind, funny. And she understands how it feels to lose someone close.’
‘You told her about Rachel?’
‘No. Of course not. It wasn’t relevant – or businesslike.’
‘Of course not. Yet you’ve found out all about her.’
‘I just . . . wanted to tell someone about Jenna.’ Because he couldn’t possibly tell anyone else.
She sighed. ‘Come here for a hug.’
‘You don’t do hugs.’
‘I rarely do hugs, but I will break the habit of a lifetime for you and because, being brutally honest, I can’t see any solution to this. Other than you making a complete tit of yourself, telling her how you feel, and she never speaks to you again.’
Cam found himself laughing, even though he was in the depths of despair. ‘Thanks. I knew you’d make everything all right.’