Chapter 14
Jude
What the hell am I doing? Emma Lincoln is not the woman for me. If I had not met her three boys, I’d question if she’d actually ever been kissed.
I had to hold back, to not touch her as I wanted to. She felt like a startled deer in headlights. Liable to run off at any moment. Make a bolt for it. And it’s not because she didn’t like it. But because she’s never had anyone touch her that way.
How can that be? She’s thirty-eight, divorced, three kids, one who is almost a man. It beggars belief. But I know, through my extensive research and experience with women, that Emma Lincoln was surprised, unsure. And, can I believe it… inexperienced? What the fuck is that all about?
What was her husband doing? Or not doing, more likely. Had he paid her no attention outside of the bedroom, and then it was wham bam thank you and goodnight? A pull your nightdress down when I’ve finished type of affair. How fucking sad is that?
Maybe Evie’s right, we are a load of weirdos. Not everyone joins clubs. Not everyone is up for anything. But then, not everyone has the balls to join these places. You do have to be sexually confident.
Regardless of all the sex I’ve had, I’ve always believed I gave as much pleasure as I received. I’ve never been a selfish lover—if anything, it’s all about my partners. Anything else for me is just a bonus.
It’s obvious Emma has not enjoyed the same luxury. And how will that work? A naive lover and me.
Fucking hell, that doesn’t bear thinking about. She’d faint on the spot if I cracked out a whip, or a selection of sex toys for her pleasure, I’m sure of it. I scrub my hand down my face just thinking about it.
Why the hell did I ask her to dinner? If I let slip a few innuendos and a bit of dirty talk over dessert, I’d end up with a black eye. Well, I’ll just have to behave myself. Settle for being her friend.
But you don’t want to kiss your friends. You don’t want to stick your tongue down their throats and tongue fuck them. You don’t want to rend the silk blouse in two, slide it off her shoulders, expose those creamy tits, and suck like a mad man. Noooo. You do not want that with… friends.
And I’m sure she was wearing a garter belt and stockings. I could feel them against my leg. What a conundrum. Who is she wearing that for? Herself?
Fuck I wanted to see it. Wanted to lift up that skirt and check out those milky thighs.
I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
My cock is as hard as rock now as I think about her.
Hair tousled, lips pouty and full as I’d been sucking on them.
Eyes glassy. Christ, what will they look like when I make her come?
Like a turquoise sea, ready for me to dive into.
Tits rising and falling as she pants, she could hardly breathe.
I jump back into my car, slam the door shut. No one is around—perks of being the owner, this area is for me only—and pull out my cock. I can’t wait or walk up to my office in this state. I jack off aggressively, her face the only image I need.
It’s as if she’s sat next to me in the passenger seat, watching as I make myself come, watching how hard she made me.
My mind conjures her. How she’d look with her lips around my cock.
How far can she hollow her cheeks, and take me down.
How those eyes would look up at me as she sucks every bit of my release.
Jesus fucking christ.
I explode all over my stomach, my breathing laboured, blowing out breath after breath. I flop my head back, tugging at my dick. The aftershocks are still pulsing through me. What the hell am I going to do? My head is all over the place.
Whipping off my jumper and shirt, I use the shirt to wipe myself down as best I can. Chucking the shirt into the passenger seat, I pull the jumper over my head and grab my jacket from the back of the car.
My face stares back at me in the rearview mirror. I look a mess. Hair all over the place, beard scruff. But my eyes are bright and alive. My cheeks flushed. I look like I’m running a fever. I am. And the fever has a name—Emma fucking Lincoln. I need to find an antidote, and quick.
Once I’m showered, changed, and sat back behind my desk, I feel more in control.
Checking over my diary, the only thing on my mind is a date for dinner.
But I’m wall to wall with meetings. Most late lunches and early evenings.
I’ve packed my diary now so I can go spend time with my sister when she has her kids.
They’re due imminently, with her already having a date booked for a caesarean for just after her due date if the twins haven’t arrived by then.
My older brother’s number pops up on my display, and then his face appears, blue sky behind him. He’s in his tractor.
“No calls. I’m impressed, brother. No arrests. Well done.”
I laugh at that. “No arrests, but you were nearly being called to A&E.”
He pulls a confused face at that. “What? Why? What did you do?” Then as an afterthought he asks, “Are you alright?” He’s peering at me through the screen.
“Oh the concern. I could get offended. But yes, I am now. I was half killed by Emma Lincoln's kids, though. Knocked me out cold.” There’s silence, and then he starts to laugh.
I wait for him to stop, but he doesn’t, and I have to interrupt him.
“It wasn’t fucking funny, Jake. I was spark out.
Fell over a scooter, I think. Ended up staying the night.
” I smile at his face which is alight with glee.
“The lengths you will go to get an invite. Jude, you’ve lost it.
” He’s chuckling away to himself. “Did she have to put you to bed? Put a cold cloth on your head. What have I told you about playing doctors and nurses? It has to stop, you’re going to get arrested.
” He starts laughing at his own comedic prowess, tapping his forehead where the cold compress should be placed.
“Fuck off. It was serious. I was out cold for ages.”
He snorts at that. “Your head is too thick for you to be out ages.” He knocks on his own with his knuckles.
“The paramedics were called,” I say incredulously.
“I’m serious. My head ached like a bitch.
I had a concussion.” I’m hamming up the drama now.
He’s snort-laughing. “Then they tried to blackmail me. Well, that was Emma.” I point at myself, then at him.
“Those kids tried to extract my bank details from me. It’s a criminal outfit. ”
He sets off again into peals of laughter.
“They’ll fit in well with you, Jackson, and Jonno,” he states.
“Oh, and James and Evie. Those two are truly the brains of our outfit.” We’re both grinning at each other.
“You look well on it anyway. Maybe you should get her to knock you out more often.” He’s checking out my face, and I scrub my hand down it.
“I don’t think so. I think I need to stay away. I don’t think she can handle someone like me. She seems…” I pause when I think of her. “Skittish.”
I’m sure I have a puzzled look on my face, because I’m all over the place about Emma fucking Lincoln. She confuses the hell out of me. Or maybe it’s just my uncontrollable reactions to her. See, confused.
“Skittish? What do you mean? She didn’t like you and wanted to get away.” He’s pondering my face.
“No, like she doesn’t know what to make of me and is terrified. But also excited. It’s weird. I don’t want to talk badly about her, but I think I scare the shit out of her. And all I’ve done is kiss her.”
“When did you kiss her? Not when she was putting you to bed, for fuck’s sake?” He looks annoyed, as if I’ve taken advantage of her.
“Nooo. This morning when she dropped me off in my car park. She wouldn’t let me drive into London alone.”
He pulls an impressed face. “Well, I’m glad she’s sensible. If you were knocked out, it’s best you have someone looking after you. Do you need me to come up?”
I smile at him. My family would drop everything and come. Whatever they had going on. Family above all. It’s our motto, and we have the tattoos to prove it.
“Naw, I’m fine. I’ve got a few busy days. I did ask her to go out for dinner, but I’m not sure it’s the best idea.” I look at him for guidance. He’s checking out my facial expressions, looking to see if I am upset about that.
“Should be fine if you can behave yourself. But by the look in your eye, that is going to be a stretch. My advice is to stay away. You’ll end up hurting her. And then you’ll never get the building you want.”
“It isn’t about the building. It’s about her.”
I stop and look at him. What the hell am I saying? Of course it’s about the building. Isn’t it?
His eyebrows are up near his hairline now.
“More reason to stay away, especially if she’s as naive as you think she is—and I say naive through gritted teeth.
I mean, just normal levels of sex.” He huffs a breath, and I can see he’s trying to not be mean, but still make it clear he doesn’t think I operate at a normal level.
“You’re not, Jude, far fucking from it. You’ve been going out with Jonno for years, and then Kell and Xan turn back up and you lot hit new crazy heights.
” He’s on a roll now, pointing at me. “And what about Lindy, didn’t you just meet up with her?
And are making arrangements to see her in LA?
She was on an early morning radio show today, spilling her guts about her sexy London man. ”
“For fuck’s sake. I went for dinner and dropped her at her door, as you know.
I rang you from the car on my way to Emma’s.
” I’m obviously agitated. It’s fun and frivolous, not a fucking relationship.
A photo opportunity with no strings attached.
She milks everything out of any interaction. “I’ll think about it.”
He smirks at me. “Don’t let those trigger fingers get in the way. Before you hit the dial or type or whatever, just stop and think.”
I huff out an unfunny laugh. “I always do.”