Chapter 6 #2
She didn’t have to confirm what he suspected. Connor had no difficulty putting two and two together. The way she’d looked at him that night of the fancy-dress ball. The way she kept herself socially aloof. The knowledge that there was a sensual woman hidden – protected – under that prim exterior.
‘Who was it?’ A burn of an anger like Connor had never felt before ignited in his gut. ‘Who hurt you?’
There was a desperate look in her eyes. As though she was ashamed that anyone knew. As if she thought that somehow it had been her fault.
It had to have been a man.
‘Your father?’ he ground out. ‘A boyfriend?’
A reluctant nod. A pause and then a firmer movement of her head.
‘My father was… an alcoholic,’ Kate said quietly. ‘That man smelled…’
‘I know.’ Connor pulled her closer so that he could hold her. Protect her. And he had the feeling that he hadn’t heard the whole story by any means.
‘And the boyfriend?’
He got no answer but he felt the way Kate shrank in his arms.
‘Oh, my God…’ he murmured. ‘He hit you?’
Kate tried to pull away. Connor didn’t know whether continuing to hold her would make it worse but he couldn’t help himself. He wasn’t that man. He’d earned her trust by now, hadn’t he?
He was certainly about to find out.
‘You’re safe, Katie,’ he said. ‘I’m not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you. You trust me… don’t you?’
She was still rigid, poised to struggle and flee. Time froze for a heartbeat and then another and then Connor felt the fight drain out of her body. She almost sagged against him.
‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I do trust you.’
Connor ended up sitting in the car with her that night and they talked for a long time before Kate drove herself home. She made him promise never to tell anybody what he’d learned about her.
‘Especially Bella,’ she warned. ‘She’s never known the real reason I went to live with my brother. I think she’s guessed that David and I grew up in an abusive household but I’ve never told anyone how bad it really was.’
Connor had to unclench his fists. He could join more dots together now. No wonder Kate wasn’t into the idea of having a relationship. The kind of damage that could be done with a history like hers was unimaginable.
Even if she wanted a relationship or had wanted one in the past, it would take a very strong man to be able to get past that kind of damage.
And yet that was what made Kate who she was, wasn’t it?
Unique.
And he wasn’t exactly without emotional baggage himself. Maybe this gave them more in common than she realised.
Maybe he could help Kate.
Fix her, even?
Tread carefully, he warned himself. Someone could get hurt.
Someone like Kate.
‘Have you been to bed with him yet?’
‘Bella!’ Kate shook her head. ‘I really shouldn’t let you have wine with dinner, should I?’
Bella tossed her head, unrepentant. She eyed Kate. ‘You haven’t, have you?’
‘We’re friends, that’s all.’
Bella snorted. ‘Don’t give me that. You’re besotted with each other. You’ve been having coffee dates and dinner dates for weeks now. You had all those late nights closeted in the pathology department working on that report thing. He must have kissed you by now.’
The heat that infused Kate’s cheeks came from nowhere and startled both of them.
‘You’re blushing.’ Bella’s astonishment became laughter. ‘Auntie Katie blushing. Who knew?’
‘Give it a rest, Bella. This thing between Connor and me is friendship, that’s all.’
A friendship like nothing Kate had ever had in her life. It had begun with that bike ride to the beach and that gentle kiss in the sunset.
No. It had really begun that night on the dance floor, hadn’t it?
Or maybe even when she’d followed those tyre tracks to where he’d wheeled that ridiculous machine into the children’s ward.
It had been strengthened by the addition of trust in the way Connor had handled the incident of the diagnostic error with Estelle’s tumour.
Their dinner date this week had been a celebration of the approval for immediate funding of the pathology lab in Theatre.
Within a short space of time, hopefully, Kate was to have the honour of being the first pathologist to be on duty for Theatre, to have a test run to check that they had all the equipment they needed in the sparkling new designated area.
It might be no more than the size of a cupboard, sheared off from one end of the staffroom with a sliding glass hatch into one of the operating theatres, but it was a huge step for all the interested parties and Kate was as excited about it as Connor.
What had taken their friendship to a completely new level, however, was that incident in the car park.
Connor was the first person she had ever told about her past. Even the men she’d had relationships with in the last few years had never known.
Could that be part of the reason why they’d never worked out?
And while Kate might protest that it was nothing more than friendship with Connor, she knew it was more than that. Or potentially more than that. On both sides? They seemed to be in a kind of holding pattern. Spending time together and keeping options open without taking things any further.
Did Connor want to?
Did she want to or was it just that she was reluctant to lose this amazing connection that they seemed to have? And she would lose it, if Connor learned about the parts of her story that she still had locked away.
‘It’s not going anywhere,’ she told her niece firmly. ‘So stop going on about it.’
But Bella couldn’t let it go. She refilled both their wine glasses. Kate tried to refuse. She started gathering the dishes that should have been loaded into the dishwasher long ago.
‘Leave it.’ The very idea of ordering Kate around made Bella offer up a surprisingly contrite smile. ‘Please? I really like talking to you.’
Kate liked it too. She hadn’t realised how nice it would be to have company in her home at night. Someone to share food with. Even if they were both busy with other things in the evenings it was nice to have someone else in the house. To not feel so… alone.
‘Just don’t go on about Connor, then,’ she relented.
Bella sighed theatrically. ‘But he’s gorgeous. You’re both single. You like each other. I can’t see what the problem is.’
‘Neither of us wants a long-term relationship.’
‘So have a short-term one, then. A friendship with benefits.’ Bella’s eyebrows wiggled suggestively. ‘Some fun. I’ll bet Connor would be up for it.’
‘I’ll bet.’ Kate’s tone was dry. ‘And that’s one of the reasons it couldn’t possibly work. He’s got a reputation for breaking hearts. He’s probably the world’s expert in “friendships with benefits”. What woman in her right mind would want to be another notch on someone’s bedpost?’
‘He’s only like that because he hasn’t found the right woman. That might be you.’
Oh… She had to stop this conversation. That feeling of wanting… hoping… was too painful.
She gave her head a sharp shake. ‘I don’t do casual sex.’
The odd look that Bella had on her face made Kate sigh. ‘So you’ve heard the rumours, then.’
Bella chewed her bottom lip and wouldn’t meet Kate’s eyes.
‘I’m not a middle-aged virgin and I’m not a lesbian, okay? People round St Pat’s have short memories. You met Tim, didn’t you? That nephrologist I was with for two years?’
Bella nodded. ‘Seems a long time ago.’
It was. Over three years, in fact. Tim had left St Pat’s not long after the relationship had ended. Connor had arrived not long after that. Hospitals were like that. People coming and going all the time. Romances starting. Others ending.
‘He was a nice guy,’ Bella added. ‘What went wrong, Kate?’
Kate shrugged. ‘He wanted a family. I didn’t.’
And Tim had pushed and made her realise how impossible it would be to ever go there again. So she had pushed back and the distance created so swiftly had made it obvious that there hadn’t been enough there in the first place.
Bella’s bewilderment was written all over her face. ‘It’s all I want,’ she said. ‘Is that wrong – to want a husband and a bunch of kids and not be bothered about much else?’
‘It’s not wrong. It’s who you are.’ Kate smiled. ‘And I’m sure you’ll get exactly what you want. You’ll probably have three kids by the time you’re my age. Good grief, that’ll make me, what – a great-aunt?’
‘You’ll be a famous pathologist great-aunt. I’ll bring all the kids to visit and they’ll drive you crazy, making a mess all over the place.’
‘Hey, I got used to that living with you lot.’
Kate was more shocked than she was prepared to admit at the thought of being part of an older generation. It felt like something very important was passing her by. That she’d end up having regrets. She shook the thought away.
‘Why don’t we ring home?’ she suggested. ‘And see what they’re all doing?’
Bella let Kate make the call.
Clearly one of the twins was at home and answered the phone because Kate was laughing in no time flat and it was quite a while before she even got a word in edgeways.
And then it was her mother’s turn, and Kate seemed to be very interested in hearing how her brother was doing.
Michael was in his third year of med school now, living a long way from home in Dunedin.
Apparently he was also changing flats because Kate went hunting for a pen and paper to take down his new details.
She had the phone tucked against her shoulder as she wrote.
Sipping the last of her glass of wine, Bella was content to wait for once because she had a lot to think about.
How embarrassing was it that Kate knew about those rumours? Bella had been horrified when she’d found out from her fellow theatre nurses. She’d taken a great deal of satisfaction in scorching the horrible innuendoes by announcing that her aunt was, in fact, in a relationship with Connor Matthews.
Her colleagues had been more than a bit sceptical, mind you, and Bella couldn’t blame them.
She’d come to the conclusion that Kate and Connor were an impossible match herself, weeks ago.
Just before the man himself had turned up on the doorstep and whisked Kate off on the back of that gorgeous bike.
He hadn’t brought her home until hours later and there’d been a glow in her eyes that Bella had never seen before.
One that had been there with increasing frequency over the last few weeks, but now Kate was claiming that it was nothing more than a friendship and never would be. And she’d sounded pretty convincing.
Bella could feel herself frowning. It couldn’t be allowed to fizzle out like that. Or not get going properly or whatever the problem was. But what could she possibly do about it? She could hear an echo of her mother’s voice in her head. Or was it Kate’s?
Don’t meddle, Bella. You’ll only cause trouble.
With a sigh, she tuned back in to the phone conversation.
‘Only if he’s not busy,’ Kate was saying. There was a short silence and then Bella’s father must have been given the phone. ‘Hi, David.’
Kate was smiling into the phone. ‘Yes, I’m good, thanks. Yes…’ She was looking at Bella as she listened. ‘She’s behaving herself. Her cooking’s improving, too – when she remembers to turn the oven on.’ The chuckle was a happy sound. ‘How are things with you?’
Kate’s expression changed in the space of a heartbeat. ‘What?’ Her voice lowered. ‘When?’
She turned away, leaving Bella to stare at her back, unable to get any clues from her face as to what might be being discussed. It was something that wasn’t good, that was for sure.
‘I hope you didn’t say anything.’ Kate listened a little longer and then nodded. ‘Well, let’s hope that an end to it. Once and for all. Yes… okay… Yes, she’s right here.’
Kate was turning back as she spoke. She held the phone out.
‘What’s going on?’ Bella whispered urgently, covering the mouthpiece with her hand. ‘What was that all about?’
The head shake was definite. ‘Nothing.’
Bella uncovered the mouthpiece cautiously. ‘Hello?’
‘Bells.’ Her father sounded perfectly normal. ‘Your mum’s waving at me. She wants to know when you’re coming down for a visit.’
‘Soon. I’ll try for my next weekend off if I can get a cheap flight. I’m trying to save my money, you know.’
‘We’ll spring for the flight,’ her father promised. ‘Just give us the dates.’
‘Hang on.’ Bella walked towards the calendar that hung on the kitchen wall, where she’d marked all her days off with a smiley face. She had to go past Kate, who didn’t seem to notice. She was sitting at the table, staring into space.
‘Hey, it’s only two weeks away.’
‘Great. Tell Kate we’d love to see her if she wants to come with you.’
Bella turned her head to pass on the invitation. Kate hadn’t moved a muscle and she looked… weird.
‘She might have better things to do,’ she said experimentally. ‘She’s got a new boyfriend.’
Yup. There was no reaction from Kate at all. She was in another place entirely, staring at nothing at all.
Looking as though she’d seen a ghost.